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my mom was on point today
I was complaining about how the Google nest won't work anymore because they're trying to force me to switch to their AI
her suggestions:
1. Blow it out like a Nintendo cartridge
2. [when it tells me it can't do something] ask for a manager
3. tell it "you're not real and I am"
I love coming up with what I like to call momisms.
As in Hondo's mom.
We know she says a lot of crazy stuff, as he recites them throughout the Clone Wars. It's always fun to come up with new ones off the cuff for fanfic.
“You are stronger than you appear,” Tech said bluntly, catching the pirate off guard. There was a pause of a few seconds before his mind caught up to Tech’s admission, a frown overtaking his swarthy face. “Du you take me for some weakling because I choose tu care for my appearance? As my mother always told me, ‘Son, looks can be deceiving—dat es why we dress our best. Nu one suspects de person who turns heads. Everyone looks, but never right under deir noses.’”
"Thank you, mum."
my mom just called Focaccia bread "fo cock ah"
my mom is the funniest person ever
As a trans guy finally kinda recovering from chronic fatigue, I feel like chronic illnesses should have also have egg status
“I don’t have energy problems, EVERYONE drinks fluids before bed because having to get up to piss might make it less painful to--okay it won’t make it less painful, it’s still going to be a prolonged and physically agonizing process to get out of bed, but having the absolute need of getting up to not wet the bed will make it easy! Just like everyone else!”
12-15 HOURS LATER
“well I’m more awake but also more uncomfortable and I still can’t move but they said I’m normal so nothing else could possibly be happening and this is just a problem people have I guess”
20 YEARS LATER, OFF THYROID MEDS FOR A WEEK
“oh wow I was not okay was I”
maybe we’re acorns......
my mom and I were talking about hair colors and I was lamenting that we have redheads in our family and my dad's hair was black, but I had to get the least interesting brown color
her: I always thought your hair was beautiful
me: that's cause I'm your child though
her: no, some children are ugly!
her: ...not mine though 🙂↕️
re: how I’m doing
As the optimist who fell off the building yelled to every floor they passed
“ok so far”
FaceTime With Mom! Time with my parents has become so valuable. It brings a smile to my face learning their wisdom as well as being able to teach them some new things. Technology helps keep us connected, it also brings a new facet of joy and laughs. #vaughn & #janalee #momisms #carepackage received! https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp_5r_MOJ5gdrqv-4XWHPZOonTzgiAmExc5MR40/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
