@eddiebinge reviews: Janice Beard (1999)
Eddie plays: Mr Tense (IMDb link)
Janice Beard is the wacky tale of a young Scottish woman venturing to London. The reason for Janice’s relocation is to raise money for treatment for her mother, who suffers from agoraphobia. Janice likes to make up wild tales of fake travels, has conversations with herself and films little updates on VHS (remember those!) to send home to Ma.
After a few months in the city, Janice is seen to be scraping by; she’s behind on rent and has no work prospects or savings in the bank for poor old mum. Astoundingly, she bumps into a childhood friend in a pub (yes, in London!) who offers her a job. The job is at a car company and they’re counting down the days until their latest car launch. It is here Janice is introduced to and falls for “hunky” Sean (Rhys Ifans), later revealed to be an industry spy. She also meets Mr Tense (Eddie), one of the inventors of the new car. Tense is a nervous character well suited to his name. He worries about paperwork and procedure and has a very short fuse. When it is revealed that Sean has passed secret design files to a rival company, Tense almost has a breakdown!
Although Janice Beard is trying to be a quirky comedy, with that strange post-production glow you only see in late 90s indie films, it lacks genuine heart and what could have been a funny and interesting story line is let down by poor writing. It wasn’t awfully unpleasant but it’s safe to say it won’t stick in our memories. However, it was a joy to see a young, bespectacled Eddie in a three-piece, we just wish he had more screen time!
Favourite moment:
At one point Tense gets so upset over the plans for his car being stolen he tries to strangle himself with a telephone cord. His colleagues talk him out of it.
Cuteometer rating: [2]
Although Tense threatens to kill Sean for stealing his plans, he’s fairly harmless. His adorably thick glasses also added to his score for sure.
Bingo score: [1/9]
☑ Fisty-cuffs
Tense doesn’t want to miss the opportunity of getting his own back on Sean:
Our rating: ★
Where to watch: Amazon (DVD)