This supposed to be a private blog. I probably will never read any of these again, and my English sucks so. If somehow someone is reading this then, you are in for a treat (no you are not)
I was gonna write all of this down, but as a member of the lazy society, I guess only moving my fingers is the best option.
Kate showed me her blog few days ago. I didn’t know she writes. I mean, I always know her artistic side, how she perceives things around her so beautifully. That, I jealous of. Not how she see things through her eyes, but how she can put it down, through her mind, telling exactly how she feels. I don’t even know how I feel. Thoughts come and go by itself, I never take my time to look at it. Sometime I avoid them intentionally, too. It always come back, somehow. I heard if you let them out they will not come back, so here I am. So what do I want to put in this jar, the 1st jar of the season?
I’m in pain. Because of the gym yeah. My arms, my chest, my legs, my body is tired, literally. This month is probably the most productive time of my life in the past 5 years. I read books, I go to gym, I learn to drive, I take Chinese class. Suddenly I just have a lot of time. Time is a dangerous concept. Somehow you always have to fit everything in these little 24 hours you have in a day. It doesn’t matter what you do in a day, it stays 24 hours. You begin to fill it up with work, social life, hobby, necessities, maybe some sleep when you run out of things to do or your body cannot take it anymore. In between these activities, your brain multitask and it drifts away on its own. By you I meant I and by your, my. Sometime it drifts to the heavy side of memories, and you are snapped out. You ran your fingers through these memories, which managed to escape the box in the corner, and shoved them back in, a sense of bittersweet fills your body. If lucky, it will stay there quietly. When you have too much time, it eats you inside out. Time heals too, really. It allows you to put more and more boxes on top of that little one in the corner, then you forget about it. Temporally, or permanently, who knows.
Does this writing help? Maybe it’s like sorting out the boxes, and hope it doesn’t collapse on you. That’s why you need to go to the gym. Then you will be strong enough to carry all the boxes. Until now, it is still really messy around here. I just need some more time, and some more jar.