Embrace
A/N: had this little dream and needed to put words to it. the feeling i got from the embrace was everything i’ve ever needed and maybe that was my subconscious giving me the comfort i actually need. It’s obviously an AU where Jensen and Jared are in it as well as JJ. Mentions of Megan Padalecki as well.
Characters: Jensen, Jared, JJ, and Reader
Triggers/Warnings: fluff, comfort, those are triggers ya’ll because i usually angst the shit out of stuff
The sun was beating down on you as you ran along the beach, the tide slowly ebbing and flowing over your bare feet, sending chilling but refreshing stimuli to your aching joints. You loved the beach this time of morning, it was nearly empty, sea gulls dipping and diving to catch some kelp along the water. You were sure Jensen was up with a semi sleepy JJ and while Jared usually took this morning runs with you, he was back at the beach house, packing.
He was leaving to visit his sister, Megan, and you loved his family with all your heart, but these past few weeks, you’ve needed your best friend more than ever. Every lilt in your voice, your lidded eyes, the long nights watching the ocean, wrapped up in one of Jared’s sweatshirts, your knees hugging to your chest, a warm cup of tea or an iced beer, barely sipped; signs that you were headed towards a dark place. He noticed; he tried to persuade Megan to come to him, but she was in town for a book signing, back in Austin.
You all were in Maryland.
You hated the distance. Not the mileage, nor the drive, but the physical absence of Jared’s proximity. His warmth, his calloused hands, his encompassing embrace. It was as if you had a third appendage and it was suddenly torn from your body- it was that painful when he was gone.
That’s how you knew.
You knew that he was and would always be a part of you, no matter if things were platonic as they were or if you made that step. A step you were too afraid to take. For if you tripped, you knew he’d be the one to catch you, but would he want that responsibility for the rest of his life?
You felt as if you were a crutch, a burden, your depression and anxiety masked by jovial playfulness, plastering a smile to your weathered face, makeup hiding the circles under your eyes, the excess baggage that your face always seemed to keep, whether you checked in or checked out.
Jensen noticed your shift in mood when Jared had announced his departure. Even JJ could tell that her Auntie YNN “wasn’t smilin’ like she used’ta”. You pulled her in close and kissed her honey colored hair and promised you’d be back to your normal self in a bit and she smiled up at you, holding out her tiny pinky.
“Promise?” she offered it to you and Jared had walked in on the exchange.
“What are you two promisin’,” Jared let out a sigh as he fell into his spot next to you on the couch, “no more ice-cream before dinner?” His laughter fell flat as he took in your appearance and JJ’s quirk of her trembling lip.
“Just some girl stuff, right Bug?” you winked in her direction, patted her bottom, suggesting she hop on off and Jensen called her over for a walk on the beach.
“Catch you two later,” Jensen gave you those father eyes, you know the ones, where they were stern, unwavering, but full of promise? Yeah, you wanted to punch him in those damn eyes. Which caused an unwelcomed chuckle to emerge from your lungs.
“What’d I’d miss,” Jared shifted in his seat, crossing a leg under the other, facing you.
Your silence was deafening.
You sat there, picking at your cuticles, a nervous habit that if you were a poker player, your tell would be all over the circuit. Jared pulled your hands into his massive mitts and squeezed them encouraging you to look him in the eyes. You hated with a passion when he would stare into your temple, boring holes, until you turned to him, grunting out a “what, Jare?”
“You know what, YNN,” Jared rubbed his thumb over your wrist, just his touch comforted you and it nearly broke the dam that you had been building like a god damn busy ass beaver before winter struck. You held it together, mostly, because your demons were not his. He didn’t need that extra stress, not when he was about to visit his sister at her newest book signing.
“Talk to me, please,” his voice cracking like butterscotch brittle, “don’t push me out, not now, YN, please.”
“I’m not, Jare,” you finally looked into his eyes and it was almost blinding. A stark contrast to your murky ones and he took notice of them too.
“Tell me what I can do,” he begged, “just say the words and I’ll do whatever I can, YNN, but you have to tell me, you can’t keep bottlin’ this stuff up,” he ran his thumb across your cheek wiping the rogue tear that betrayed you.
You ripped your hands from his, palms inward, you rubbed at the dryness of your eyes, the nights of sobbing have made them raw, like the sand from the beach outside the windows, infiltrated your lids. Exhaling all the pent up emotions you held close to your ribs like a warrior’s breastplate worn into battle, you stood up abruptly and Jared jumped up pulling you into his chest. Your head barely reached his pecs, but just enough that you could feel his heart beating; as much as yours was, maybe even more.
“I need you, Jare,” your words were muffled into his cotton t-shirt and your breath raised goosebumps on his skin.
“You have me,” Jared kissed the top of your head, embracing you as tightly as he could, your arms wrapping around his neck, your bodies flush against one another.
“Pack an overnight bag,” Jared kissed your lips, chaste, timidly, afraid anything else might just break you into shattered pieces of glass that he could never mend.
“You’re comin’ with,” his hands encompassed your fragile face, “and we’ll get though this together,” he held up his pinky waiting for your reaction.
A soft smile finally graced your features and you wrapped your very own pinky around his.
“Promise.”
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