[ ♂ ] — ❝ Let’s go check out some fuckin’ tits. ❞
It wasn’t even some kind of invitation-- just some simpler way of saying if you don’t come with me, I’ll rip you a new asshole, but since Haydn was never really one who kept up with his threats (an amateur bad boy, nothing more), he had decided on never divulging them. And who knew? Perhaps Jasper had the strength to fly-kick the poor boy’s head off! Dying at the hands of a MALE definitely wasn’t what he wished for. Maybe if Jasper would have long hair, and boobs, no dick, smoother hands, better butt-- maybe. His face was alright, though Haydn would NEVER admit to that. Ew! So cue the ‘no-homo’ thought, repeated over and over again just to be completely certain that the last grain of homo-ness had left his body.
They weren’t the BESTEST of friends, although being roommates had given way to discovering each other’s sweet little secrets. Like, for example, the number of times Haydn had been caught red-handed (dick-handed? ha!) emptying his YOGURT SLINGER. You know, some sweet little secrets. Their conversations always turned around Haydn asking for homework answers, or trying to convince the other of writing his essays, or if he wanted to watch porn together (albeit that had been asked once, it had been a pretty sticky memory)-- nothing really exceptional.
Maybe this was Haydn’s idea of growing closer? Duh! He had nothing to lose, now that he was away from his family, from girls, from normal people. He just had to spread his aura and engulf more people in it, is all! No better way than to bond over a late Sunday night SIGHTSEEING. Haydn was already standing beside their door, foot tapping to hopefully annoy and convince his roommate. It was a long way to the girls’ dorm (or in Haydn’s words: titsville), and if they weren’t leaving RIGHT NOW IMMEDIATELY, there would be nothing to see. N o t h i n g.
❝ Come o~n, Bible Boy! Ya’ shouldn’t even be hesitating.
It’s BOOBS for fuck’s sake, we ain’t gonna pump Satan’s cock! ❞