#jay's death

[gettingaphdinmomo]

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[gettingaphdinmomo]

I...just realised Harry is performing on December 7th. In Japan, which is pretty far away from England, and sadly we all know what happened that very same day in 2016. I bet he could've have avoided this if he really wanted to. I'm speechless.

Yeah, a few other blogs hosted this conversation when the tour dates were first announced. Some people believe he could have said no to the date, others disagree. Some people say that anniversaries of deaths aren’t important, others say they are.

In any case, he’ll be in Japan.

[gettingaphdinmomo]

omg those pap shots on the day of Jay's passing still make me SO uncomfortable. It was so cheap and so completely tone-deaf to the entire situation. Harry already didn't tweet anything to Louis, the separation was already blatantly clear on twitter - and really, I just never really know who they're doing it for because fans have chosen their own headcanon fantasies a LONG time ago. It was just in poor taste. His bandmate's (at the least) mom DIED. You just don't go shopping at Gucci for PR then.

Hi anon! I still think it was done to “prove” he wasn’t with Louis, but you know what...why? Like, how about you just not be seen to prove it?

[gettingaphdinmomo]

I do think it was mostly to show they weren't together. However, it also shows how meticulously his solo career has been planned and micro-managed in advance and that makes me even more uneasy with the trajectory we're seeing now. I'm done making excuses and saying it's all his team and how we don't know the power balance or exchanges he makes in return for this - there was plenty room in 1D to not be an asshole, so there should be plenty room now. He's just not taking it and that bothers me.

Ahhhhhh, anon--I hadn’t thought of that angle (picking up tour clothes), although I’m not sure he’d just pick up his tour clothes at a store like that. I think they’d be delivered, etc. But who knows? Maybe he picked up the shoes (those ugly rainbow loafers) then.

[gettingaphdinmomo]

Saw someone point out that harry genuinely didnt know what the Payne Chain is. So 1. that pretty much proves they're not in touch much since thats a huge part of Liams build up as witness Grimmy asking about it and 2. the night of Louis XF performance when OT3 were meant to be backstage with and for Louis, Liam was wearing the chain and Louis had a pic taken long on the dressing room sofa with it on. But Harry doesnt know what it is? Is it just me who wonders now if he was actually there?

Anon, thank you for sending this in! I was going to make a post about this, because two separate people contacted me and said, “Hey, do you remember that anon you got from someone who thought Harry wasn’t really in the audience at the XFactor? I’m wondering...”

(This link has the anon message about that.)

So no, you’re not the only one wondering...

[gettingaphdinmomo]

I’m going to cry.

[jayvanderelst-blog]

Time Stands Still, but I Wasn't Ready.

Jay had not been able to shut her eyes longer than five seconds all night. She had tossed and turned, and finally accepted that sleep was as elusive as a fox. For hours she had watched the flame of the candle dance, as though some invisible being was toying with it. Right, left, center, it leaned, it’s warmth more comforting than Jay could put into words. She wished that she could scoop the light and place it within her so that her choices would be illuminated and easier to see. Of course, it seemed obvious what she should do; stay with Max, wait until the young girl was of age and then go on with Gale and live her life. But nothing was ever as easy as it seemed, and for the time being, a war raged within her. More than anything she wanted to run away with Gale. Gale. The only person on this planet that understood the loneliness in her heart and the dark corners of her mind. It was strange that only a little while ago, he had tried to destroy her for magic she didn’t possess, but little by little, he had grown on her. Perhaps it was the fact that he always kept returning, no matter how many arrows she shot at him, or the way he had sat by her at the riverbank that one day and listened to her question things about life that she didn’t understand. Nonetheless, she must have grown on him too, because before she knew it they were walking home, and his hands had ensnared her face and his lips had met hers. And now, here she was, stupefied and torn.

The first signs of daybreak snapped her attention away from the candle, the indigo sky beginning to lighten. Jay knew her decision had to come in a matter of minutes if she was to meet him at dawn, and the pressure of it sent her into near panic-mode.  What do I do, what do I do? Her thoughts were haywire and jumbled, making no sense whatsoever. She found herself watching her little sister, her little Max, sleeping soundly on the mattress that they shared. For a brief instant, she found herself envying the young girl, envying the way the world was so simple for her at this moment. Jay would have given absolutely anything, anything at all, to keep her sister this innocent and happy. To never know the burdens of being an adult, to never have to grow up fast. With these thoughts, Jay realized that she could never leave her sister; not when she was still growing up. Both their parents had left them already, she could never do the same thing to someone so precious.

I’ll tell him, she thought, He understands. He will wait, he knows I can’t abandon her. The knowledge that Gale would in fact understand comforted her, and it gave her the strength she needed to stand and hunt for her jacket so that she could go and meet her love.

Jay moved stealthily about the small cabin that she and just as she opened the door, Max stirred.

“Jay?” The small girl mumbled sleepily. “Jay, where are you going?”

Jay froze for a moment, fearful that Max would believe she was being left if she were truthful. “It’s nothing. I’m just going hunting.” She made her voice as soothing as possible.

Max sat up. “But you went yesterday. We have lots of food.” The girl was confused, her large blue eyes trained on her elder sister.

This threw Jay off for a split second, but she recovered. “Tunie’s family needs a little more, especially since her father’s been sick.” Jay smiled at her beloved sister. “I won’t be long, I promise. “ Jay assured, and Max nodded sleepily at her. Max fell back against the pillows.

“I love you.” Max said before she drifted off, and Jay felt something twist at her insides. 

“I love you too.” Jay whispered, and she hesitated before leaving. The air outside was cool and soothing, and it calmed her nerves. It was her favorite kind of hunting morning; early spring. Jay knew the woods would be plentiful with animals and plants alike, and Jay almost wished that she was actually going hunting. It took a few moments for her to remember how to move her feet and begin the short trek to the riverbank, where she had promised Gale she would meet him.

The walk seemed to take forever, especially since Jay was absolutely petrified. She wasn’t exactly sure what of, but perhaps it was because for the first time in her life, she didn’t know what to expect. Gale was unpredictable (in a good way) and the thought of life with him both dazzled and dizzied her. The sky was lightening much faster now, and the first rays of sun were spilling over the horizon. Jay reached the riverbank just as the sun peaked over the mountains, but Gale was nowhere to be found.

Little asshole is probably still asleep. Her headvoice grumbled, and she giggled at the thought. Her stomach was twisted in knots and there was a lump in her throat. To calm her nerves, her fingers found their way to the chain secured around her neck, where the pendant that signified her engagement to Gale was kept safely against the hollow of her throat. Her hands turned it over, the small, fidgety act soothing her.

A million memories played in front of her eyes as she zoned out. She realized that she needn’t be afraid- it was Gale, after all, the boy who just a few nights previously so goofily confessed his love for her, making her laugh and embarrassed at the same time. She had finally overcome her nerves and admitted to him that she in fact, loved him too, something she never thought she had been capable of. His eyes had shone at her words and he had scooped her up, placing silly little kisses all over her face until he settled on her mouth. The rest of that night… well, the memories of it made Jay’s skin tingle, just like his gentle but firm touch had. She felt almost giddy now at the prospect of just seeing him, and she was bewildered by the foolish way she had completely fallen in love with Gale.

All right, Gale, Jay thought a little sternly, Any day now. She was growing impatient, and Gale knew that an impatient Jay was not one to be messed with. Jay was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that her hunting ears missed the sound of movement behind her. Before she even realized someone was behind her, blinding pain caused her to cry out.

Excruciating, hot, burning, searing pain stretched from her left shoulder blade down to the center of her back. Her breath was knocked completely out of her as she felt herself being literally slit wide open. She fell to the ground, heaving, her eyes wide as she gasped for breath that just wouldn’t fill her lungs. She felt the blood staining the ground around her, and her mind whizzed as she tried to process what had just happened to her.

“Fool!” A harsh voice came from behind her. “Did you honestly think I would ever love you?” Her heart stopped as she placed the face with the voice. What remaining blood she had turned to ice and the person came around from behind her and into her line of vision.

“G-Gale?” She managed to get out, wincing as a new wave of pain hit her. It was Gale- her Gale, that stood before her broken body and grinned maliciously down at her.

“Did you really think I would ever marry you?” He sang again, his voice full of malice. “You stupid girl. I just needed a life so that I could gain my powers.” Gale held his hand up, conjuring some kind of black cloud as he did so. Jay stared in disbelief as tears stung her eyes.

“You traitor…” She snarled, trying to drag herself to him. She had never wanted to end a human being so badly, wanted to tear someone limb from limb, in her life. Gale laughed harshly and stomped on her outstretched hand, causing her to grit her teeth.

“But I shall take the village. I’ll take great pleasure in slaughtering the people… your sister included.” He winked as he disappeared.

“Traitor!” Jay screamed, fear bubbling under her skin. “After everything we’ve done! How could everything you told me have been a lie?” She cried out, but it was hopeless. Gale was long gone, leaving Jay broken and bleeding out on the earth.

Images of the villagers-of her sister- being torn open in ways worse than she had flashed before her eyes. Jay felt an unnatural strength resonating within her, and after several excruciating moments, she managed to stand. She was hunched over slightly, mass amounts of blood staining her entire back, and there was still an alarming amount soaking into the earth, but a desperate thirst for vengeance powered her. Keeping one hand pressed to her injured shoulder, she made her way little by little, back to her village. The walk took much longer, but she was determined.

Please, body, she begged, grinding her teeth and refusing to let herself cry. Please hold on a little longer. Hold on so that I may complete my final task.

With every step, Jay could feel life leaving her. Her heart slammed against her chest, somehow still determined to keep her alive. She was greatful for her stamina, and she finally reached the outskirts of the village. Before entering, she removed the bow and arrows she kept sheathed in a hollow tree, and finally made her way in, ready to confront her fate.

The village was just beginning to stir, but no one saw her trudging through the stone courtyard. Her vision was getting a little blurry, and her back screamed, but she kept pushing.

Somewhere, not too far off, she could hear her name being shouted. Whoever it was, seemed to be desperate to find her, and she understood that desperation. Her insides turned cold once more when she realized who it was that was searching for her.

Gale was tearing up and down the streets, demanding from anyone of her whereabouts. Fury bubbled up inside of her.

“GALE!” She screamed, not bothering to pay attention to the gaping hole in her back, or the vast amount of blood that she had lost. All that she could focus on now was her revenge.

Gale whipped around, eyes widening as he saw his bloody fiancé. “What the hell, Jay?’ He screamed back, the distance between the two considerable but not too vast. “You traitor! You deceived me! You tried to kill me!”

Jay couldn’t stop the angry tears from pouring down her face. “I tried to kill you?!” She roared, loading her bow. Gale’s face dawned an expression of comprehension as he took in her bloody and fleeting appearance.

“Jay…” He said, looking stunned and broken.

Jay shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I believed in you. I trusted you!” Her hands shook as she aimed her arrow right at his heart.

Gale shook his head. “Jay, I love-“ but he was cut off as her arrow pierced his chest. Gale fell to his knees and looked at her, his expression full of sorrow. He fell over, and died, leaving Jay nearly dead herself.

By this point, the entire village had heard the commotion and had come hurrying to the courtyard. Gasps and wails of despair at her bloody body rang throughout the crowd, and Jay heard a high-pitched buzzing in her head. What happened, Jay, You need help! Phrases like these were snaking their way throughout the crowd and Jay fell to her knees, knowing death was but a minute away.

“Let me through!” A child’s voice screamed, and Jay closed her eyes. She knew Max was coming and that Max would see her like this, whether she wanted to stop it or not.

“Sister! Sister! Who did this to you, Jay?” Max sobbed, collapsing on the ground next to her dying sister.

Jay winced. “It was all for this… It was all for this…” She said over and over. She looked with wild, desperate eyes at her sister. “Listen to me, Max. You must burn my body.” Jay reached out a bloody hand and clasped her sister’s like a lifeline. “Do this so that I may never be used for evil.” Jay squeezed her sister’s hand, and Max nodded.

Jay felt the end coming. Her vision was going in and out, her body feeling oddly light. Her heart was an obliterated and blackened mess. So… she thought, swaying slightly in the wind. This was what it was like to love… The memory of her final night with Gale danced briefly in front of her eyes, and for some inexplicable reason, she was calmed slightly. I guess that’s okay… Jay drew in several quick breaths, pulled her sister’s hand closer to her chest and cried out in agony. Just as she began to feel her body fall like a feather through the air, her heart gave out.

Jay fell through the blackness, cold and alone. Her soul was marred by the hatred she felt for Gale, but she could feel herself ebb away into some kind of peace. A brilliant light erupted around her, and suddenly she didn’t feel so cold.

  I still love you…