The bare witch project
Earth moved and mountains rumbled earlier this week when The Penarazzi came out of hibernation. After the long slumber and extended silence, we needed something big to get this juggernaut of Tumblr writer journalism back into action, and that catalyst came when we discovered The Coven.
We here at Penarazzi have proudly dished the dirt on all of the organisations that lurk within the Tumblr Writing Community -- and there are a lot of them ranging from feature-fixing editor conglomerates to playboy-esque Scotsmen -- but this is the first time we have truly run into a fear of the unknown.
Previous scandals have revealed unknown entities like ghouls and scientific experiments on orangutans within the TCC (Tumblr Tiny Chatters), immaculate conceptions within the Tumblr Mean Girls, feature fixing by a collection of high profile writers in the Tumblr Editorial Enclave, and countless incidents of grand larceny and general thuggery in The Devil's Parchments -- mostly, this involved Lilysofthevalley crash tackling Penarazzi cameramen and reporters -- but never before has The Penarazzi discovered something that cannot be explained by general human greed or aggression, until now.
A coven, The Coven. One imagines a secret society of women and men, naked and chanting at the moon. One's imagination would be correct.
The Penarazzi can now report that the high priestess of Tumblr's coven has been identified as non other than Aquietjoy -- a quiet oxymoron is what we would say given the amount of maniacal cackling that comes from this matriarchal witch. A Penarazzi ninja followed Aquietjoy into the woodlands where she met with many members of the controversially named poetrysluts. They removed their clothing and wrote outrageous sexetry on slips of paper to be thrown into a cauldron. Our ninja could not hypothesise the meanings of the potion and subsequent incantations, but he found himself mildly aroused, with an unnatural desire to strip naked and write something erotic himself.
These druid rituals are disturbing and none of the experts we have consulted can come up with a reason for the displays. Stay tuned to The Penarazzi as this magickal story unfolds.