#jaycetaliskin

[fictionkinfessions]

i have a boyfriend irl right now but i miss what viktor and i had before... endless nights talking, theorizing, joking. counting his moles while he napped in the lab, what we had was intimate, incredible. without viktor, i feel like an empty soul of a man, i miss the man who i used to be attached to the hip to. if only i could have him again...

— JAYCE TALIS / 💎🔨🔥

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[fictionkinfessions]

I’m back now that I’ve watched the second act, and I just… I don’t want to retract my apology because I am sorry it had to come down to what it did, but it had to be done. Please understand even in my unhappiness, even with how much it hurt me to pull the trigger, it had to be done. I tried everything else, I even tried reasoning with Arcane that the path before us was not what it was trying to show me, that Viktor would never, but it always found a way to prove me wrong. I know what this will lead to, that Viktor will come back and be… different— but he won’t have the Arcane. I know he wouldn’t understand, maybe wouldn’t want to hear it now, but I saved him. I think he knows that. He saw me. He had all the time in the world to move and when I was cradling him, stroking his face as the world around us imploded, he said he forgave me. I don’t know if he would now, but I hope so. He’ll come to the understanding that machinery is better than magic that was poisoning him and many others through misuse and overuse; that’ll be another hurdle, but I’ll get him back. I’ll get to love him again, with every molecule of my being, just as I did before.

I’m sorry about Isha. She wasn’t my fault, after all whatever Singed did once left alone with Vander put him in that state, but I am sorry about her regardless. I hope Ekko can go back one more time, save at least her. — Jayce Talis

w

[fictionkinfessions]

To any and all Viktors within our expansive universe - If your Jayce won't say it, I will without hesitation.

I was a coward. I was blind. I was selfish. I am sorry for everything. But I loved you so much, and I still do. You were so incredibly strong and beautiful in a world that didn't care. You were so intelligent and complex yet so caring in everything you did. I admired those things about you and so much more. You saved my life multiple times and all I wanted to do was save yours too. You meant everything to me - you were my dream, not just our work but you.

There's so much more I want to say yet I know it would become an endless sleep deprived ramble. In the end, I'm glad it was you. I'm glad it was us. I love you, Viktor.

-- Jayce Talis (Arcane)

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[fictionkinfessions]

Was I really worth damning the world for? Was I really worth creating a paradox for, living through everything again and again to find the right rune? Was I worth saving? Was I worth anything at all?

I still don't understand, Viktor. I wish I could.

-- Jayce Talis

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[fictionkinfessions]

Jayce here. Again. You know which one.

The ending was… well, it wasn’t perfect by any means. Honestly, I have a lot of complaints especially in regards to how canonized lore has seemingly been tossed to the side, creating a mound of inconsistencies and plot holes that are going to extend to other areas since Riot’s grubby hands cannot possibly fathom not making more money- I mean… making more shows, but it wasn’t all terrible.

I mean… Okay, I didn’t have the best approach the first time, but considering everything I went through (which… gods I’m happy they showed because I thought I was going crazy. I couldn’t find the words to describe the absolute wasteland I’d been stuck in for months and what it did to me, but not important right now) I think it makes sense why I was a little off my rocker. For what it’s worth, Viktor was… unwilling to listen. I tried talking, tried getting him to see my perspective while in the hexgate’s depths previous to the war, but we’re all familiar with how that went. I’m sorry for my err… brash decision, but I truly thought there was no other option. That talking wouldn’t work, after all he wouldn’t listen and his uh… mind… control wasn’t an option just yet.

Regardless— to see him so… possessive of me is… wow. Not going to get into it, but wow. Anyway. To have my face pressed to his, his hand rubbing my arm soothingly, my fingers toying with the ends of his hair. For them to have me proclaim my love for every single thing about him, including what he himself cannot see as beautiful or wonderful (in their own ways) or admire as a part of him, something I’d been trying to make people realize and understand about me as a character for nearly three goddamn years? That’s insanely validating. For them to have me apologize to Mel, for me to state that I don’t doubt her? Gods that feels good. It feels like I did good.

I hate that it got to the point it did for things to be made better, but knowing he saved my mother and I, knowing I passed that knowledge onto him, and in turn saved him, that we’re intertwined cosmically with eachother…. I don’t have the words. Viktor has been my everything, will always be my everything, snd they couldn’t have done a better job portraying how much I adore that man. I love him. It’s written across the stars, time, the fabric of the universe itself. My soul carries a piece of him with me everywhere and I know its the dame for him.

My thoughts are a mess and so is this confession, but gods, I only hope they bring us back in the future. After all, he still needs to build his son (Blitzcrank) and there’s so much more we can do to help the world. — Jayce Talis (#💉☀️)

[fictionkinfessions]

Viktor - I'm sorry for the things I did. I wish things had been different. I loved you very much. -Jayce Talis (source is Arcane)

[fictionkinfessions]

i cant help but wonder, 'am i a horrible boyfriend for wishing i was in a relationship with viktor, rather than my current boyfriend?'

please, don't get me wrong, i love my boyfriend with all my heart. he is funny, silly, loving, and the best man i've ever dated romantically. i just... miss viktor, i suppose... i had somewhat of a queerplatonic relationship from what i remember. i miss it.

so much.

but it conflicts me, i love dating my boyfriend, the idea of breaking up with him makes me feel physically ill.

yet i miss my viktor and what we had.

JAYCE TALIS / 💎🔨🔥

x

[fictionkinfessions]

the arcane fandom treats me as if i'm some dumb "himbo" who is easily manipulated... i'm not. i'm quite intelligent, i may be oblivious and naive, but i'm not stupid. i'm autistic and social interactions are confusing, i grew up being told to always see the best in people, be polite, of course i'm gonna trust what people say.

it's so weird—downright frustersting—how they percieve me; "oooh, jayce is such a puppy!", "puppyboy jayce talis!", "jayce is such dumb idiot, i love him."

shut up. please.

it's infantilizing and it just minimizes my work as a scientist and engineer. i created Hextech. i was the one to help bring magic to the people. i am not the dumb, innocent himbo those... weirdos know me as. it's insulting to my intelligence and my status.

the fanart isn't better, not even remotely.

— JAYCE TALIS / 💎🔨🔥

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