#jayde writes stuff

[lucifer-in-my-head]

Finally giving @badthingshappenbingo a go! Send any of these prompts (one at a time preferable) with any Sanders Sides character/s of your choosing. I also wouldn’t be averse to Catra/Adora or Shiro/Keith/Lance from She-Ra and VLD.

[lucifer-in-my-head]

Moving Forward

Summary: Castiel has been rejected for the last time. It’s time for him to move forward. Pairings: Unrequited Destiel Warnings: Season 15 spoilers, unrequited love, canon Dean Winchester assholery  Word Count: 1016 AO3

|Set directly after s15 episode 3|

Castiel was lost, both literally, and metaphorically.

He had taken...pleasure, in killing Belphagor, of purging the manipulative demon from Jack’s body and burning it to nothing so that no other demon could repeat the abominable crime. But the damage had already been done, by then. He’d let the demon get under his skin. Let him pull at his doubts and insecurities until they were a gaping wound that he could no longer ignore.

He knew, logically, that it was for the best, that he finally acknowledged the truth that had been eating away at him.

The Winchesters didn’t need him anymore. They didn’t want him anymore.

Dean didn’t want him.

And it hurt. It was a pain greater than anything he had ever experienced, to know that the man he had journeyed into Hell itself to save, had given up everything for, didn’t want him around. He wished that his grace was stronger, so that he wouldn’t have to feel the emotion that came with this truth he’d been trying to avoid. He prayed - though what was the point? His Father had doomed them all, he was hardly going to answer Castiel’s pitiful prayers now - that he could return to Heaven, and carry on with his Angelic duty like none of this had ever happened.

But then...wasn’t this part of being free?

The heartache?

He hated it.

He trudged through the forest surrounding the bunker, uninterested in following the road that would take him somewhere. He didn’t want to be anywhere right now. He didn’t want anyone, human, angel or anything that remained, to see him in such a state. He was dishevelled, having tore his hands through his hair so many times that he’d caught strands of it between his fingers. The further he got from the bunker, the tighter his chest felt, until tears were slipping down his face. He felt betrayed, and angry, and he wanted nothing more to go back and plead with Dean, to beg for-

-for what? Forgiveness? He had done nothing wrong! He’d deviated from the plan, yes, but nothing on this earth that he could think of would be able to stop Belphagor had he succeeded in absorbing all of Hell’s souls! There was no spell, no relic, no clever solution that could take down a demon with literally all the power of Hell.

He let out a scream, anger and frustration and betrayal ripping at his vocals until he had nothing left to give. Why was it that whenever Castiel made a mistake, it was unforgivable? Sam and Dean made mistakes all the time! And yet whenever Castiel, who had done nothing but try to earn their respect, their loyalty, their love, made a mistake, it was as though he’d caused the end of the world!

Ha.

No, that had been his Father. Castiel had prevented the end of the world! He’d waited as long as he dared, for Belphagor to absorb the majority of Hell’s escaped souls, before taking him right when he began to toe the line of unstoppable. It was awful, that the witch - Rowena - had sacrificed herself to finish the job, but the decision she made had not been Castiel’s doing!

It...it had not been his doing…

His knees failed him, and he found himself falling to the muddy forest floor, another anguished cry escaping him that quickly became a rapid succession of sobs.

Why!? Why did Dean blame everything on him? Castiel had tried, had tried so hard to be good enough for him, to be perfect! He had done the dirty work, had made the hard decisions, all to save humanity, and the world Dean so desperately strived to protect. He tried to be everything that Dean Winchester wanted, and yet!

And yet, here he was, kneeling in mud, because Dean had cast him out. Again. Sure, he hadn’t said it out loud, this time, but Castiel was more observant than Dean gave him credit for. He could see - finally see - that Dean did not want him.

Dean didn’t want him.

Hopelessness clawed at his heart, a sturdy thing, or at least, it had once been. But Dean Winchester had taken stone in hand and chipped away at Castiel’s defences, had taught him to be vulnerable, to feel, to love . And then he had delivered the final blow that had shattered the once mighty Angel.

He felt like his heart had been pierced by an Angelic sword. The pain, the heartache, and the ceaseless, hapless yearning for a love that would never be his. Dean had made that clear, time and time again. Castiel was certain that Dean knew how the Angel felt about him. Had seen the way Dean’s eyebrows would pinch in realisation every now and then, after Castiel had done or said something to him, particularly during their so called ‘chic flick moments’.

Dean knew that Castiel’s love ran deeper than brotherhood, and yet he had never given any indication that he felt the same, or any indication that he didn’t. That lack of outright rejection had spurred Castiel’s hopes, had strung him along until he’d practically been throwing himself at the Hunter.

But this time. Castiel couldn’t deny that this time, there had been nothing but rejection in Dean’s eyes.

And Castiel would not wait by Dean’s side any longer, hoping for something the Hunter would never give. He was done, for good this time. He would not go back and grovel at Dean’s feet. He would not beg for Dean’s love.

If Dean had ever felt anything for him at all, it was long gone.

And so...so was Castiel.

He picked himself up out of the mud, steeling his resolve. He had let himself cry. He had let himself feel the heartache Dean had caused him. And he knew he would feel it again.

But not right now. Now, he had to get up. He had to put one foot in front of the other.

As Sam always said. You have to keep moving forward.

And so that is what Castiel did.

[lucifer-in-my-head]

Do You Wanna Go?

Summary: Logan corrects Roman in a lecture hall, and Roman threatens him. Logan misunderstands.  Pairings: Logince  Chapter Warnings:  None Word Count: 1161

Disclaimer: This is based off of @logicallyanxious‘s accidental logince date post! Credit goes to her for the idea. Beta’d by the amazing @bangthekobrakid

“Do you wanna go?”

Logan blinked, pausing and cocking his head to the side. He wasn’t quite sure how correcting Roman’s - at least, Logan was fairly sure his name was Roman - statement had led to this, but he didn’t exactly find the proposal...objectionable. And Virgil had been telling him he needed to go out.

He nodded. “Yes, I suppose going wouldn’t be too terribly dreadful.” He said at last. “So...I would like to go.”

He didn’t quite understand the look that crossed Roman’s face upon his agreement - perhaps he hadn’t actually expected Logan to accept - but before either of them could question the decision further, their professor snapped at them to sit back down so he could continue the lecture they’d interrupted.

Logan cleared his throat, apologised, and sat down. However, he found he couldn’t quite focus on the lecture. Not that it particularly mattered, of course, Logan already knew everything their professor was droning on about anyway, so it wasn’t like he was losing out on much. No, rather than paying attention to information he already knew, Logan set about planning.

*** 

Roman sighed as he walked out of the lecture hall, his head swimming with information he had yet to sort through. The encounter with Nerd Posterboy had been pushed to the back of his mind once the professor had continued on with his lecture, and he’d almost forgotten all about it, until he heard a voice calling out to him from behind.

He looked over his shoulder, and sure enough, there he was, that neat blue tie heading towards him. Roman exhaled, and barely managed to open his mouth to say something before he heard,

“So, meet me at eight?”

Roman blinked in confusion - was Calculator Watch seriously planning to throw down with him? - but the nerd kept talking, giving Roman details he’d planned for the evening (a fancy restaurant, a movie theatre, a stroll through the park) and Roman realised abruptly that they were on two very different pages.

Holy Hitchcoppalucas, he thinks I asked him out on a date!

However, before Roman could get a word in to explain the misunderstanding, Logan had bid him goodbye - for now - and disappeared back into the crowd.

He stood there in a stupor for a good few moments, before shaking his head and pulling himself together. He returned to his dorm, still reeling slightly from the encounter, and sat down on the couch.

“Heya Roman!” His roommate, Patton, called to him, bouncing over. “How was class?”

Roman looked at him with a rather dumbfounded expression. “I...have a date, tonight?”

Patton squealed in delight, and demanded details, flapping his hands excitedly. When Roman regaled to him the events of the afternoon, Patton looked at him with a surprisingly serious expression.

“Roman, you’d better not stand him up tonight.” He said, wagging a finger at him like he was his grandfather. “Or I’m gonna have to physically fight you!”

Roman just huffed at him, indecisive as ever.

***

Virgil listened as Logan relayed to him how he’d been asked on a date, nodding along to show that he was listening. He was conflicted. Part of him wanted to roll around on the ground and cackle at Logan’s misinterpretation, but he loved his friend too much for that, so he kept his mouth shut.

He didn’t have the heart to tell him that this ‘Roman’ character had been threatening him, not asking him out.

Nonetheless, Logan was excited; more excited than Virgil had ever seen him about something that wasn’t chemical engineering or astronomy. And Virgil had to admit - he liked seeing Logan this happy. He’d been practically begging his roommate to go out and do something with someone for months now, and when Logan finally does?

No way in Hell was he gonna jeopardise that.

Although, he thought, if the guy stood Logan up, he’d have to wrap his knuckles.

When six thirty rolled around, Virgil agreed to help his, at this point, rather flustered friend, choose what to wear. The poor guy was practically running around like a headless chicken trying to decide what he should wear on the date. Virgil couldn’t just leave his friend hanging like that, could he?

They eventually agreed on a nice black button-up long sleeve, and one of Logan’s nicer ties - blue with purple, white and black stripes - along with a pair of dark blue jeans. Logan took painstaking measures to comb his hair into tidiness, and Virgil gelled it up just a little bit for him so it would stay there.

Eventually, it was time to go, and Virgil grinned at him. “Chill, dude. You got this. If he doesn’t fall in love with you on sight, he’s a damn idiot who’s gonna find himself with my foot up his ass.”

Logan sputtered, and Virgil laughed, shoving him out the door.

“Have fun, pocket protector!”

***

Logan nervously adjusted his tie for the fourth - no fifth, time now, checking his watch. Calm down, Logan. He’s only three minutes late. Surely, there is nothing to worry about. Perhaps he had to make a stop…

Another few minutes passed, and Logan had been drumming his fingers against his pant leg for so long that he barely even noticed he was doing it anymore. An odd feeling had settled in his chest, and it became less and less easy to ignore with every minute that passed.

...He wouldn’t have stood me up, surely. He was the one who asked me out in the first place! Another minute. ...perhaps...perhaps it was, oh, what does Virgil call it? A prank? Perhaps he was pranking me...and of course I was socially inept enough to fall for it! He’s probably sitting at home laughing at my stupidity -

His inner monologue was cut off abruptly by someone dropping down into the booth opposite him, breathing heavily, like they’d been running. Logan’s head snapped up, and there he was. Roman.

He looked rather flustered.

“My apologies for being so dreadfully late!” He exclaimed. “My bus was late!”

Logan let out a relieved breath when he could detect no lie in the other’s statement. “It is quite alright.” He said, feeling his cheeks heating up a little as he took in the other’s appearance. Roman was dressed in a rather dashing white dress shirt, with gold trimmings and red cuffs.

They stared at each other for a moment, and Logan noticed Roman’s cheeks tinting red just as his own must surely be. Roman spoke first.

“So...you checked out the menu yet?” He asked, somewhat awkwardly. Logan couldn’t help but find him somewhat charming despite.

“I have.” He said, pulling it out and pushing it over to him. He watched Roman with fascination as his eyes flicked over the menu - skipping over the more expensive meals, Logan noticed - and his lips twitched into a smile.

He had a feeling this date was going to be the beginning of a wonderful courtship.

Taglist:

(Somehow I lost my taglist document, so I’m really sorry if I’ve missed anyone!)

@bunny222 @trivia-goddess @hamilin-manuel-miranda @drafty-drawingz@desolate-darlin @fancydelusionluminary @gay-and-exhausted @jade-dragon226-fan @fullmetallovr21 @theresneverenoughfandoms @lizaelsparrow @ab-artist @heythereprincey @mooksie01 @starryfirefliesbloggo @the-darkness-art @samidaboss3 @lindesensate @apriladeline @221biotchplease@that-one-invisible-chick @wizardingworld77 @littlekindfriemd @thecrimsoncodex @patton-loves-coloring @hissesssss@dontbugmeimantisocial @flameheart2013 @valeandra79 @ahoardofsides@theotherella @samuelcwboslyn @musicphanpie-b @cute-anxious-kitten@midnightalex12 @blue-wolfbane @jadekitten1 @ccecode @water-that-plance@the-better-bard @sunshine-in-a-petal @raygelkitty @sourblooms@nothingelsemattersme @sanders-sidesside-blog @i-really-dig-the-purple@galaxy-warping @royallyroman @frought-with-jelly-sy @a-very-optimistic-realist @milomeepit @witch197 @marshmallow-the-panda

[lucifer-in-my-head]

99 with Roman and Virgil for the whump prompts? But also please take care of your hand!

I know a drabble is supposed to be exactly 100 words but fuck it. Hope you enjoy! 

The walls were closing in. They were closing in and everything was too close, too loud, he could hear his heartbeat drumming in his ears and the sound made him want to tear his own ears off. He couldn’t breathe. God, he couldn’t breathe he was suffocating why couldn’t he breathe?

His fingers curled into his shirt, and suddenly the texture was wrong, itchy, too much. He tore it off, tossing it, the white fabric a stark contrast to the red carpeting of his room. He stared at it, jerking back in surprise when a purple sneaker entered his vision. 

“Hey! Hey, calm down,” Virgil murmured, crouching down in front of Roman and taking his hand. “Calm down, it’s just me. I’ve got you...”

[lucifer-in-my-head]

“It was cruel of them to make you fight me - you never could have won. It’s not your fault.”

Au based on a post by @the-modern-typewriter (I can’t actually find the original post, I’m sorry) where Deceit is a villain that keeps adopting the young heroes sent by the gods to defeat him. Story outline under the cut because it’s long.

Okay so:

- Sympathetic Deceit as the villain

- Many heroes have tried and failed to defeat him

- So the Gods decide to send their own hero

- Virgil is the first

- When they send him in, he does his best, but he’s only, like

- Seventeen

- He’s v under-prepared

- Deceit humours him for a bit, but when he realises Virgil is beginning to destroy himself trying to keep fighting, he stops

- He comforts Virgil, reassuring him that it’s not his fault

- He’s hella mad at the Gods for sending this child to fight him, and tries to send him home

- When Virgil admits that he has no home to return to (three guesses why) Deceit immediately adopts him

- Virgil is very wary at first, but over time he realises Deceit won’t hurt him

- They become very close

- The second hero the Gods send is Logan, two years later

- He is eighteen at the time (V is nineteen at this point)

- Logan didn’t train his whole life like Virgil did

- But smort Boi is a quick learner

- So they decided he’s ready

- When he faces off with Deceit, he quickly realises that he wasn’t ready

- But the Gods won’t be happy if he backs out

- So he keeps fighting

- Deceit knew as soon as the kid showed up that he was gonna be another Virgil

- But the boy looked so sure of himself, so Deceit scales back the strength of his attacks and decides to wait until the hero realises he’s outmatched and retreats

- Except

- He doesn’t

- Deceit can see the moment the young hero realises he’s outmatched

- But he doesn’t back down

- So Deceit stops

- At first Logan is insulted

- But when he notices how weak he feels, compared to Deceit, who hasn’t even broken a sweat, he sees Deceit’s mercy for what it is

- When Dee tells him to go home, he admits that his family was abusive, and he doesn’t want to go home

- So Deceit adopts this one too

- He brings Lo home and introduces him to Virgil

- Analogical anyone?

- Four years pass, and the Gods send another hero

- This time it’s Patton

- And holy fuck, Deceit is raging

- Because this little hero

- Is only thirteen

- He doesn’t even try to fight poor Patton

- Patton is terrified by this

- Not because he’s scared of Deceit

- But because he’s scared of what the Gods will do to him if he returns to them without having defeated the villain

- When he starts to cry, Deceit immediately comforts him

- And offers him a new home

- Patton accepts it without hesitation

- Anywhere is better than living with the Gods, and they can’t control him here

- And thus Patton takes his place in Deceit’s family

- Three years later,

- The last hero they send is Roman

- Roman is seventeen

- (By this point Pat is 16, Lo is 25 and V is 26)

- Deceit sees Roman approaching and is just like

- Are you

- Fucking

- Kidding

- Me.

- He decides to take the same route he took with Patton, and not even fight the kid

- Except

- This kid is fucking STRONG

- He has no choice but to engage in battle, because Holy Fucking Shitballs, this teenager is determined, and skilled, and powerful

- He realises that this seventeen year old could almost match him for raw power

- Almost

- He realises, with startling horror, that he is going to need to unleash his full power in order to defeat this young hero, or the kid is going to kill him

- He takes Roman down, and the guilt at what he must put the kid through in order to do so almost kills him on its own

- He takes Roman back to the others, feeling the worst that he has ever felt

- V, Lo and Pat help him nurse Roman back to health

- When Roman finally wakes, he’s terrified

- He was defeated, Deceit is probably going to torture him, oh fuck, when if he gets out of here the Gods are going to kill him-

- He is very confused by the fact that the villain who just completely obliterated him is openly sobbing

- Deceit can’t apologise enough for what he had to do, and Roman realises an important difference between Deceit and the Gods

- The Gods, who are supposed to be the good guys, sent him, and three others before him, to Deceit with the intention of killing the villain

- The villain not only adopted the first three heroes, but, when faced with an opponent who fully intended to and almost succeeded in killing him, he defeated him in a non-lethal manner, and even went so far as to heal his wounds

- Roman, realising his entire life was a lie, breaks down

- He tells Deceit and the others his story

- Turns out Roman was kidnapped from birth and raised by the Gods themselves to be their ultimate weapon

- Deceit realises that the longer he remains a villain, the greater lengths the Gods will go to to dispose of him

- He doesn’t want to put any more kids through what these four have had to deal with

- So he steps down

- He puts villainy behind him, and focuses on giving these kids the best life he can give them

- And that is the story of how the most renowned villain in the world became a father

@milomeepit look at me, actually doing something with that AU I spent an hour gushing to you about last year.

[lucifer-in-my-head]

To Love a Prince   - Chapter One

Summary:   A new kingdom. A new home. A new husband. When Prince Dolion is arranged to marry the heir of another kingdom, he is eager to leave behind his loneliness, along with the family he knows won’t miss him - but fate is not so benign. Married to a man that does not love him, Dee finds his heart drawn to another; a man that can never be his. As the stability of his marriage rapidly deteriorates, Dee must endure the weight of his own feelings, the crushing isolation that comes with them…and the brutality of the one who is supposed to protect him. Pairings: Roman/Deceit (abusive), Virgil/Deceit    Overall Warnings: Abuse, abusive relationship, abusive Roman, angst, broken bones, disowning, domestic abuse, exploration of trauma, injuries, non/con, parental neglect, rape, sympathetic Deceit, violence Chapter Warnings: None Word Count: 1514 Masterlist AO3

Chapter One:

Dee was decidedly enthusiastic as he was escorted through the vast halls of the foreign castle, three paces behind his father. His heart thumped away nervously in his chest as they walked, each step bringing the young prince closer and closer to the encounter that would either set him free, or damn him. Nevertheless, Dee’s stride did not falter, and he held his chin high. 

Soon - too soon - the hallway ended, and Dee stood before two massive oak doors. The doors groaned as the guards pushed them open, and he and his father were led through. The throne room was enormous, dwarfing his father’s in comparison. He had to crane his neck to see the glittering chandeliers on the roof, which illuminated the larger than life paintings that hung from the walls - one for each King that had sat upon the golden throne, and an empty space where the portrait of the current prince would one day hang. 

His attention was drawn to the throne perched atop the dais at the end of the room, and to the man that sat there - the King. To his left perched another throne, atop which proudly sat who Dee assumed to be the prince, and at the base of the dais stood a man in a fancier version of the guard’s uniform - a glance at the patches on his shoulders indicative of the Captain of the Guard.

Dee wasn’t afforded very long to sightsee, before his father stopped in front of him and bowed. Dee, familiar with the etiquette required of him, sank down to one knee beside his father and ducked his head, not wanting to offend the reigning rulers of this foreign kingdom by making eye contact.

“King Patton.” His father greeted, his strident voice echoing through the room. “I would like to extend my gratitude to you for inviting us here on this day.” 

“Well, I couldn’t go accepting a marriage proposal without meeting the prospective husband, could I?” The king responded in an amused voice. There was something inherently childlike about the way the king of this land spoke, and yet at the same time, Dee could tell that beneath that childish exterior lay deep wells of wisdom and maturity. 

“Very true, Your Majesty.” His father agreed. His voice, on the other hand, didn’t hold a trace of that childishness. No, Dee’s father was a hard, stern man, wise in his own way, but with a different sort of maturity, one bred from time in the war-room, rather than among the people, as Patton was known for. “I do hope you find my son pleasing to the eye despite his...condition.” 

Dee felt his cheeks heat up in a mixture of embarrassment and anger at his father’s words. His father knew what the condition was called, vitiligo, the healers had told him often enough as he tried to force them to ‘fix him’. It wasn’t fixable. No amount of potions or cream would ever even out the tones of his skin and make them match, no matter how many he tried. This was just how Dee was.

He kept his gaze fixed on the marble flooring as footsteps echoed down the dais, heading towards him. He held his breath as a pair of shiny black boots halted in front of him, and, after a moment, a finger crooked under his chin, lifting his face up. Dee was met with the sight of deep green eyes gazing down into his own mismatched brown and hazel pair. The other prince wore an intrigued expression as he took in the details of Dee’s face, and Dee took in his.

The foreign prince had soft, curly brown hair that made his green eyes sparkle. He had a straight nose and a square jaw, and his skin was tanned gold from the sun. Dee glanced down to the prince’s broad shoulders - even under his royal regalia, Dee could see how muscular he was. Clearly the sword at his hip wasn’t just for show. 

The prince gave off an aura of self assuredness, and Dee knew from that alone that he was far more capable and confident than Dee could ever hope to be. 

The back of Dee’s neck twinged abruptly as the other prince tilted his chin up even higher, and he quickly dropped his gaze back to the floor. The prince chuckled, brushing a thumb over Dee’s lips and sending a shiver down his spine. 

“You are Prince Dolion, correct?” His voice was loud, and Dee sensed an amount of eccentricity there. Abruptly, he felt rather small in comparison to the prince before him. He swallowed, and nodded his head.

“Yes, Your Highness.” Dee forced out. He wondered, briefly, if his father would be offended that the prince felt the need to check that he’d remembered to bring along the right son.

“I am Prince Roman.” He introduced. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“Likewise, Your Highness.” Dee said, doing his best to subtly flatter him. Dee’s kingdom depended on Roman agreeing to wed the youngest prince and share his wealth. 

Besides, Dee wasn’t looking forward to the beating he’d surely receive if he failed, today.

After a moment, Roman chuckled again, and let go of Dee’s chin. “You may rise, Dolion.” He said.

Dee got to his feet, finding himself slightly disappointed to discover that he was a few inches shorter than the other prince, despite the heels on his boots. “Thank you, Your Highness.”

Roman smiled. “None of that.” He said. “We’re equal here.” Dee opened his mouth to respond, but his father cleared his throat.

“How do you find him, Your Highness?” He inquired, the set of his shoulders indicating to Dee that he was making an effort to contain his eagerness. Dee was well aware that his father would be happy to see him gone, even without the money.

Money, preferably, though. His father always did like his coin.

Roman hummed thoughtfully, circling Dee before standing before him again. “He’s beautiful.” The prince marvelled, and Dee felt heat rise in his cheeks. His eyes met Roman’s, just for a moment, before flickering back down again. He felt a small smile tug at his lips. 

“What do you think, Father?” Roman asked, turning back to King Patton.

“It’s your decision, Roman.” The king said. “That being said, I do like him. He seems sweet.” The king’s eyes practically sparkled, and Dee couldn’t help but smile wider at the infectious grin the king wore. The King of this realm was surprisingly soft around the edges, he noticed, with blonde, curly hair and a roundish face. He wore a curious smile that matched the sparkle in his eyes that Dee could spot even from here.

“Then I accept your proposal, Your Majesty.” Roman decided, turning back to Dee’s father.

“Wonderful.” He responded, and Dee could practically see the gears turning in his father’s head. “I shall begin the preparations at once, if that is acceptable to you.”

Roman nodded. “Be swift about them.” He said, his eyes raking up and down Dee’s form. “I am eager to wed this stunning creature I see before me.” 

Dee blushed bright red, his tense shoulders relaxing at the acceptance, at this opportunity to get away from his father and to run into the arms of this Prince, as cliche as that may be. But there was something about the way Roman looked at him that sent shivers down Dee’s spine, and flutters in his chest. He could tell Roman wasn’t lying when he called Dee beautiful, and no one had ever meant it when they said it. Not before Roman.

The other prince lifted Dee’s hand and pressed a feather light kiss to the back of it. “I look forward to marrying you, Dolion.” He said quietly. There was something behind Roman’s eyes that Dee couldn’t identify, and it fascinated him, drew him in like a moth to a lantern.

“And I, you.” Dee whispered back.

Roman grinned, the action splitting his face and showing off the dimples in his cheeks. Two on the left, one on the right, Dee noticed. God, the Prince was beautiful. More so than Dee could ever hope to be, no matter what Roman said.

His lips tingled as Roman cupped his chin again, brushing a thumb over them for the second time, and a shiver ran down his spine at the enthralled look on Roman’s face. Dee wondered, for a moment, why the Prince liked him so much. What exactly it was about Dee that interested him...

After another few moments, Roman let him go, stepping back and returning to his father’s side. Roman nodded to the King, and Patton smiled at Dee for a second before turning his attention to Dee’s father. 

“Shall we set the date for the end of the month?” He proposed. Two weeks from now. 

“We shall.” His father agreed. 

“Then it’s settled.” Patton sat back in his throne. “We’ll see you then, Dolion.” 

Dee smiled softly. He couldn’t be free of his father soon enough. 

[lucifer-in-my-head]

To Love a Prince - Chapter Twelve

Summary: A new kingdom. A new home. A new husband. When Prince Dolion is arranged to marry the heir of another kingdom, he is eager to leave behind his loneliness, along with the family he knows won’t miss him - but fate is not so benign. Married to a man that does not love him, Dee finds his heart drawn to another; a man that can never be his. As the stability of his marriage rapidly deteriorates, Dee must endure the weight of his own feelings, the crushing isolation that comes with them…and the brutality of the one who is supposed to protect him. Pairings: Roman/Deceit (abusive), Virgil/Deceit   Overall Warnings: Abuse, abusive relationship, abusive Roman, angst, broken bones, disowning, domestic abuse, exploration of trauma, injuries, non/con, parental neglect, rape, sympathetic Deceit, violence Chapter Warnings: abuse mention, unsympathetic Roman Word Count: 2378 Masterlist AO3

Chapter Twelve:

Dee panted softly as Roman dropped down beside him, his arm curling under Dee and pulling him close. Dee made a soft sound, resting his forehead against Roman’s chest despite the sweat that clung to both their skin. He closed his eyes as Roman pressed a kiss to the top of his head, and shivered as he felt Roman’s fingers gliding up and down his back. 

Things had been better since Dee had stopped fighting him. Much better. Roman was so much gentler with him, now, and Dee kept on his best behaviour to keep it that way. 

His husband hummed softly, and Dee made a small noise in his throat in response, tangling his good leg in Roman’s as he pressed closer. It was early in the morning, the sun just beginning to shine some light into their bedroom. Dee had woken up in the half-dark to Roman pressing kisses down his chest and with a hand between his legs, and now he just wanted to go back to sleep. He knew he wouldn’t be able to, though, so he resigned himself to the early start. 

“What are you doing today?” He asked Roman, his voice barely above a murmur.

“Why do you ask?” Roman responded, his fingers brushing over Dee’s hip. 

“Merely curious,” Dee lied, then sighed softly. “I was...hoping we could stay out in the gardens a little longer today…” He admitted quietly. 

“Not today,” Roman said, and Dee deflated. “I have a lot of work to be done today. You’re going to have to miss out.” 

“...oh,” Dee curled up a little more. Stupid! He shouldn’t have been greedy and asked for more time. Now he couldn’t go at all!

Roman said he has a lot of work to do today. It isn’t just because you asked, the voice in his head protested, but Dee still couldn’t help but feel like it was his fault for asking. He shouldn’t keep asking for things. He already had everything he needed…

He felt Roman draw in a deep breath, then exhale. “I suppose it couldn’t hurt if I sent a guard out with you in my absence, just this once,” he said, and Dee looked up, hope shining in his eyes. “The healer did say you need to go outside every day, after all.” 

“Thank you,” Dee whispered, hugging Roman tightly. Roman made a noise in the back of his throat in response, and Dee went quiet. They laid together like that for a while, neither one of them speaking as they enjoyed each other’s company. 

Well.

Dee enjoyed Roman’s company. He was aware at this point that Roman enjoyed Dee’s body more than anything else about him, but… he tried not to think about that.

Eventually, Roman had to get up, though Dee stayed huddled up in the blankets where it was warm. “I’ll send a guard to come and collect you in a few hours,” Roman informed him as he dressed. “You may stay in the gardens as long as you wish, as long as you are back in our chambers before I return in the evening.”

“Thank you, Roman,” Dee said softly. “I...I truly appreciate it.”

“Yes, well, I trust that by now, you know better than to abuse the freedoms I grant you.” 

Dee nodded.

“Good. I will see you this evening.” Roman left without another word, and Dee stayed in bed for a while longer before getting up and dressing himself. He spent the time waiting for the guard reading by the window - a fictional piece about the love story between an assassin and a mythical creature called the Fae. He read for hours, completely enraptured by the story until a knock sounded at his door. 

“Prince Dolion?” An unfamiliar voice called from the other side. “I was sent by your husband to escort you to the gardens, Your Highness.” 

Dee smiled, and marked his page, setting the book down and limping over to the door. He opened it and was met with the face of a guard he’d never seen before. “Hello,” he greeted politely, his voice quiet. 

“Greetings, Your Highness,” the guard said, bowing low. “I’ve come to escort you.” 

“Thank you,” Dee said, stepping out and shutting the door to his chambers. “I appreciate it.” 

“You are most welcome, Your Highness.” 

Dee smiled, setting off towards the gardens with the guard in tow. “Please,” he requested, “Just call me Dee.” 

The guard looked uncomfortable with the request. “It- it would not be proper for me to address you with anything other than your title,” he explained. 

Dee sighed softly. “It’s fine. Do not concern yourself with it.” 

“...thank you, Your Highness.” 

They walked in an awkward silence the rest of the way to the gardens, and Dee was very much relieved when they finally arrived. The beauty of the gardens seemed to wash away any uncomfortable feelings Dee felt, and as they strolled leisurely along the path, the smile returned to his face. 

“What’s your name?” He asked the guard as they stopped beneath the shade of one of the fruit trees so Dee could rest his knee.

“Jericho, Your Highness.” 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Jericho.” 

“The pleasure is all mine, Your Highness.” 

Dee didn’t ask Jericho any more questions that day, but it was nice to at least know his name. 

When Roman returned to their chambers that night, Dee was already in bed, tired but not quite asleep. He’d returned from the gardens just before sunset, and was surprised to find that Roman wasn’t back already. Which was good. Dee was supposed to be back before him, but he’d stayed in the garden’s longer than he should have, and it had taken longer than he’d expected to walk back with his aching knee. 

Nevertheless, Roman had been back later than he’d expected, which had worked out good for Dee.

“How was your day, my love?” Dee asked him when Roman climbed into bed.

“It was dull,” Roman said unenthusiastically. “Meetings, meetings, meetings, all day! I was so unimaginably bored!” 

“That is...unfortunate,” Dee murmured, snuggling closer to him. He’d had a very good day in the gardens, but decided to keep that to himself until Roman asked so it didn’t seem like he was rubbing it in. Roman didn’t ask.

They didn’t speak again that night, and Roman fell asleep fairly quickly. Dee remained awake for a while, curled up against Roman’s chest while he tried to ignore the throbbing in his knee. He did eventually fall asleep, though he woke up several times during the night, and by the time he woke the next morning, he didn’t feel particularly well-rested. 

Once Roman woke up, Dee got out of bed and got dressed, eager for their morning walk. 

“I’ll have the guard take you again today.” 

Dee’s enthusiasm stuttered. “Oh. Okay,” he murmured in response, a little disappointed. He liked spending time with Roman… But it was okay. He’d join him again tomorrow.

He didn’t.

Or the next day, or the next…

Dee sat on the bench by the pond, crying quietly. Jericho was standing beneath a tree a little ways away, and Dee faced away from him so he wouldn’t see his tears. 

Roman wasn’t going to come on another walk with him. He’d...he’d gotten bored of him again…

He found someone to palm me off to and now he doesn’t bother with me anymore, Dee thought bitterly as more tears streamed down his face. He brought his knees up to his chest, hugging himself as he cried. It had been almost two weeks since Roman had stopped coming to the gardens with him, and Dee felt lonelier than ever. Just when he thought his husband might be starting to care for him…

Stupid. He was stupid to let himself think that. Roman didn’t care about him. He just didn’t want to have to deal with him if he got sick. 

Roman didn’t care. 

He slapped a hand over his mouth to stifle a sob, his shoulders shaking. 

For once in Virgil’s life, he had a day off. Ever since his arm had been broken, his healer had been taking much more notice of him than they ever had before, which was both a blessing and a curse, as Virgil often forgot to look after himself, so the reminders that he needed to eat, to hydrate, to go outside and get some sunlight, were very much appreciated. What was not appreciated, however, was the constant insistence that he stop working so hard. That he take more breaks. 

Virgil had ignored their insistence for too long, it seemed, because his healer had gone straight to the King, knowing how close they were, and requested that Patton order him to take a day off.

So here he was. Taking a day off. The only problem was, he didn’t know what on earth he was supposed to do with his free day. 

He was so used to his schedule, to constantly working, that the forced hiatus due to his broken arm had left him bored to tears in the weeks that he had healed, and now that he was back to being in near peak condition, he loathed having to repeat the experience, even if it was just one day. 

He sighed, and his mind drifted to Dee, as it often did. He hadn’t seen the Prince for months, not since that night… He had almost asked after him to Prince Roman on several occasions during their lessons but had thought better of it each time. Roman seemed to have calmed down around him after their first few lessons back, and Virgil was in no hurry to disrupt that or to put Dee in danger. 

The downside to not asking, though, was that Virgil had no idea how Dee was - if he had recovered, if he was healthy, if he was happy, even… Virgil hoped so, even if he doubted it.

He looked around himself, trying to stop thinking about Dee for just one moment while he tried to figure out what to do with his day. After a few minutes of wandering, his eyes caught on the entrance to the Royal Garden, and he abruptly recalled the yellow roses he knew were held within. 

Dee would love them…

He sighed. Even if he couldn’t give a rose to Dee like he so longed to do, it would be nice to pick one, just for himself. As a reminder. 

His mind made up, Virgil strolled to the gardens, intending to spend maybe an hour at the most there. For about ten minutes he wandered around, trying to remember where the roses were, when he stopped, noticing a guard beneath a tree, some hundred paces away from him. Odd, the guard looked to be on duty. Who was he guarding? 

He strode over to the guard, recognising him as Jericho, one of the younger ones who’d been accepted into the Royal Guard at the beginning of the year. “Hey, Jericho,” he said, and the guard snapped his attention to him, saluting.

“Good afternoon, Captain,” he said stiffly.

“At ease,” Virgil said with a chuckle. “What’re you doing?”

Jericho relaxed. “I’m guarding Prince Dolion, Captain,” he said, and Virgil’s eyes widened fractionally. Dee. He looked around, and sure enough, there Dee was, sitting hunched over on a bench beside the pond. Based on his posture alone, Virgil could guess that something was wrong. 

He pressed his lips together, thinking for a minute, before digging a couple of gold coins out of his pocket. “Don’t tell Roman I was here, kay?” He murmured to Jericho, offering the coins to him. 

Jericho looked down at them, and Virgil watched him debate with himself for a few moments before accepting Virgil’s offering. “I haven’t seen you today,” he said, then angled his head away and fixed his gaze on some birds in the distance. Virgil smiled, clapping him on the shoulder, and walking over to the bench.

“Dee?” He prompted softly.

Dee jumped, whipping around to face him. 

“V-Virgil!” He stuttered, his eyes wide and darting around as if searching for danger. “You- you can’t be here! Roman will-”

“Roman won’t know,” Virgil promised, his voice gentle as he sat down next to Dee, giving him plenty of space.

“You swear it?” Dee asked a little shakily.

“I swear it.”

Dee exhaled sharply, and Virgil was knocked back as Dee abruptly threw himself at him, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist and burying his face against Virgil’s chest. Virgil curled his own arms around Dee’s back, holding him close. 

“I’ve missed you,” He whispered.

“I’ve missed you, too,” Dee whispered in return, his voice somewhat muffled by the fabric of Virgil’s jacket. 

“Are you okay?” Virgil asked, tracing light circles over Dee’s back. “Are you hurt?” Dee shook his head, and Virgil breathed a sigh of relief. 

“He hasn’t hurt me for a while,” Dee murmured, “I’ve been good…” 

The words carved through Virgil like a knife, and it took a great amount of restraint not to react in a way that might upset Dee further. 

“I’m glad he hasn’t hurt you,” he said carefully, keeping his voice soft. “I’ve been worried about you…”

“I’m alright,” Dee promised. He hugged him tighter, then pulled back, sitting up on the bench so that their shoulders touched. “How is your arm?”

“There’s no pain anymore, and my healer allowed me to begin training several weeks ago.” Virgil informed him, nudging him gently and rolling his wrist to demonstrate that he was okay. He felt Dee relax against him slightly.

“I’m relieved that there was no lasting damage,” Dee said softly.

“As am I,” he agreed. 

They sat in silence for a little while, watching the ducks floating around on the surface of the pond, and simply enjoying each other’s company. Virgil knew he couldn’t stay for too long. Knew that sometime soon, he would have to leave, before Roman’s schedule cleared in a few hours. But until then, he and Dee would sit here, on this bench.

And if they held each other’s hands, if they murmured soft words of tenderness and affection…

Nobody had to know but them.