A/N: Please enjoy this little fic that came to mind as I was listening to The Weeknd’s ‘Save Your Tears’. I’ve been obsessed with this song lately and all the ideas that come to mind are angst filled so I apologize in advance for this. It does kind of have a light ending? Let me know if I’ve redeemed myself.
warnings: bar setting, angst, heartbreak. Please let me know if I’ve missed any!
Someone wise once told you that you could meet the right person but at the wrong time. You always naively laughed at that because it seemed so ludicrous. If someone was right for you, wouldn’t you do everything in your power to make it work? It was that type of innocent thinking that led you to this unbearable road. The sound of the microphone being tapped pulled you out of your thoughts. You were at the dive bar you and your friends frequented.
“Hello. I’m Mikasa. Recently, I hurt someone who is near and dear to my heart.” She paused and looked down at her guitar, regret filled her face. “This song isn’t mine. You all might know it actually..” She chuckled. “The lyrics...they resonate with me. With what I’m going through right now.” She looked up from her guitar and focused on the crowd. “Well, here goes nothing. I hope you enjoy my cover.” She started to strum on her guitar. Mikasa’s seductive voice filled the bar as she sang her sorrow away.
“You could’ve asked me why I broke your heart
You could’ve told me that you fell apart.”
She was apologizing that she couldn’t love him the way he deserved to be loved and you knew he would accept it. You just knew. All the time he spent looking at Mikasa, you spent looking at him. You’ve been in love with him since you could remember and you were ecstatic when you two had started going out.
You thought that you finally had a chance, reality be damned. You ignored your friends who told you that it was just a rebound relationship. Thinking back now, you should’ve listened. You thought finally he could see what was right in front of him this whole time but you should’ve known that he wanted to see one person and one person only. Mikasa.
“I made you think that I would always stay
I said some things that I should never say.”
You wished that you hated her but you didn’t. She was kind, pretty, athletic, friendly, and strong. All the things you pretended to be. Before you lost yourself to your own thoughts, you realized something. You loved him. Even right now, as he looks at someone else the way he should be looking at you. Your heart ached because it knew that those feelings will never be reciprocated in the way you wanted them to be.
A lone tear made its way down your face as you turned to look at him. A quick glance at Jean’s ruggedly handsome face confirmed what you’ve been putting off for the longest time. You knew that look. That was the same look that stared back at you when you looked into the mirror. Heartbreak. It’s at that moment the agonizing truth of what you need to do hits you. He’ll never love you the way he loves her.
You let go of his hand, cold air quickly absorbed the brief warmth you felt as you walked towards the bar to pay off the tab. Eren was there, cleaning the glasses. When he saw you approaching, he set them aside and threw the towel over his shoulder. Sadness and anger twisted his beautiful features. He paused, as if he was too hesitant to ask. “You okay, Y/N?”
You smiled but you knew it wasn’t sincere. “I will be.” You picked at the edge of the counter with your fingers, hoping he couldn’t see how utterly broken you are.
“It’s not fun for me either. She feels things for him I could not understand. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to but one thing is for sure. Mikasa and I? We’re endgame.” He sighed. “She’s the love of my life and sometimes…just sometimes I doubt if I am the love of hers.”
That confession had you shook to your core as everyone knew that Eren and Mikasa were soulmates. “Eren. You and Mikasa…are truly soulmates. If you’re doubting that, it seems like you both need to have a talk. What’s happening right now is my own fault. I knew better but just for once I wanted to give into my wishful thinking. I wanted to feel what it would be like instead of always wondering.” You caught your breath, having said much more than you had wanted to say.
Eren looked at the stage and then looked back at you. “I’m really sorry things played out this way, Y/N.”
“That’s why I’m letting him go. Because we’re both hurting each other.”
You took out your wallet but he shook his head. “I’ll make him pay.” You’re afraid to ask what exactly he meant by that.
You placed it back in your pocket. “I uh, I’ll be seeing you around, yeah?” With a nod, you headed towards the exit.
You left without a single last look. You came to the conclusion that it was a luxury you could no longer afford…that he was a luxury. One that you weren’t good enough to have.
A rough bump to your shoulder pushed you out of your own head and caused you to stumble against the door. You almost lost your balance but a warm hand grabbed you by the elbow, steadying you.
“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going.” A deep unfamiliar voice apologized.
You looked up and a pair of hazel eyes met your own. It seems like forever passed by as you both stared at each other. It didn’t escape you that his hand was still holding onto your elbow.
“Sorry about that.” He chuckled. “I’m kind of late so I was in a rush.”
Before you could reply back, a random guy you’ve only seen around a couple of times appeared behind you. “Hey Reiner, you’re late. We’re next on stage!”
Your perfect stranger nodded at his friend and his eyes met yours again. “I gotta go now. I hope to see you around here again sometime.” With that, he walked around you and into the bar.
You quickly exited and looked up at the sky, the moon appeared to be super bright tonight. That brief interaction replayed in your mind as you walked away into the night with your hands in your jacket pockets, a small grin on your face. Hmm, maybe it won’t be so bad. You let out the breath you’ve been holding in and realized your heart was little less heavier than before.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
A few freckles getting lost in the wrinkle caused by his smile. A kind darkness, it must have been. Getting lost in a dark cave didn’t seem comforting but to Jean getting lost in marco’s dark wrinkles, freckles all around and a sweet noise coming out of his mouth, was very comforting. He got lost in it and only realized when he got out again, like the freckles did when Marco’s smile died down
