#jedirangerpenguin

[jicklet]

15 and 20?

(ask meme)

15. do you collect anything?

behold!

there are more

20. what's your favourite beverage?

[points] british!

The boring answer is I am always drinking ice water. Sparkling if possible, I like my water spicy.

The more specific answer is that Starbucks has a lavender matcha latte in the spring that I go feral for. ugh it's so good.

[swaps55]

🌟 If you're still taking them, anything else you'd like to share from Cantata?

I will always take questions, especially from you!

Relevant to your interests: I almost didn't write Facing Giants - the N7 test.

It had the same fundamental problem that I had with sending Kaidan to N1: it sounded boring.

N7 was an important achievement for Sam, but from my perspective, the asteroid test itself didn't have a good source of narrative tension.

I also couldn't get excited about writing it. So, I looked for ways around it. I thought about revisiting The Words That Change Us and adapting it for Cantata, but that story is so precious to me as it is, and taking away the first kiss component of it doesn't make the story better, so what would I gain by recycling it? Not much.

I also had the Sam POV conundrum: He's alone on an asteroid for days. If I can't use his POV, how do I tell a story about the test? I couldn't think of a reason for anyone else from the 'Yang to be there, so they didn't have a role to play to help me pick up the narrative slack, either.

With all those challenges, I wondered if I could just get away with cutting the test entirely and acknowledging it after the fact. Several people (rightfully) informed me this was a terrible idea. The test had to happen.

Anderson provided me a solution to the POV problem. If I watched the test through Anderson's eyes, I could do two things: duck Sam's POV, and avoid having to do a play-by-play of the test. In essence, Anderson would let me cheat by only telling the pieces of it I found interesting.

Anderson also opened up a new opportunity. I had been looking for a chance to explore Sam's biotic training with his krogan mentor. It's so important to him as a character, and as you can guess, his love for the krogan plays a big role in future trilogy events. But there hadn't been room to play with it in Cantata.

Anderson, however, is one of the only characters who can provide the reader with insight into Sam's early years, so I thought this might be my window. What if I created parallel stories: the present day of the N7 test intermixed with Anderson's memories of Sam's biotic training?

(I had no idea how fucking hard that was going to be when I thought of it.)

Well, I still had to make the test interesting. @n0rmandysr1 had some excellent ideas on how a test like this could function beyond "hold your breath and don't die" that gave me some action to play with.

But as Sam was the first biotic to try for N7, I also needed to take a difficult test and find a way for Sam to stand it on its head. Real Life Romance Option and @sinvraal had some great ideas for how I could use biotics to give me the Cool Factor I was missing.

Once I had all the pieces, I still had to put them together. Getting the present day scenes synced up with the flashbacks was so frustrating I wanted to jump out a window a few times. But after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, I eventually got there. It was worth all the work; I can't imagine Cantata without this piece.

[theoriginalladya]

Everybody's favorite dadmiral...

@jedirangerpenguin this is for you! :)

[painterofhorizons]

Ooh, can I ask about grounded?

From the WIP game list.

Thank you so much for the ask, my dear! I tagged you in this other post about "grounded" with general rambling about the idea, now how about a little snippet here from it? :) It's draft zero from ages ago, but it features Anderson so I thought you might like it! I like the bit about thechnically sharing ranks. Set after Shepard was locked up in a tiny cell for a week straight without anybody bothering about her.

This is Lieutenant Commander James Vega. He will be assigned to you. You mean he‘s my babysitter, Shepard replied to Anderson without flashing James even the shortest glance. From what I‘ve heard, watchdog is the better description, mam, James interrupted her unaffectedly. Shepard‘s head snapped in his direction. Call me mam once more, Lieutenant, and someone else can scratch your remains from the floor. Understood, Sir. And it‘s Lieutenant Commander. Shepard stared at him caught in surprise. She‘d expected a whole lot of things from him - that kind of backtalk had not been at the list. For a moment she fancied punching him right in that cheeky mouth of his, but couldn‘t stop herself from also being impressed by his attitude. Eventually, she just kept staring at him some more and hissed: Watch yourself, Lieutenant. Technically you two share ranks, Anderson intervened. Technically I‘m not Alliance anymore, so that can be hardly correct, she shot back sharply. Don‘t think the batarians care for that, sir. He‘s right with that, Shepard. the lieutenant isn‘t set up as a jailor for you. He guards a high value target. Shepard looked forth and back between anderson and james, rolled her eyes and shrugged. Awesome. I don‘t expect to have any voice in that matter, do I? No. Great. Don‘t expect this to be fun, lieutenant. I don‘t.

[biotic-boshtet]

1, 6, and/or 11 for the prompts?

ok i have 1, but 6 and 11 will maybe come eventually so keep an eye out and tysm for the prompts

Aftermath

“I’d ask if you were ok, but the answer seems a little obvious.”

“Yeah, nope, nope, no. Doing bad.” No blood. No screams. Just the wind over the sand and a dead thresher maw. She clenches her fists in the sand and works on getting her breathing under control.

“Don’t worry, Alenko’s on his way over with his kit. Sent me with a full canteen though.”

“Thanks, Garrus.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Shepard rolls off her knees to sit in the sand, taking the canteen from him. Sticking it between her knees, she lifts her shaking hands to disengage the seals on her helmet, taking it off and letting it fall to the sand. She took a deep breath, trying to block out the scent of acid and blood. Only half of those smells were real. The stench of thresher maw acid almost makes her gag as she takes a sip of lukewarm water.

“Hey, I brought backup.” Kaidan’s knelt down in the sand next to her, rifling through his kit till he finds what he’s looking for. A juice pouch and a granola bar.

“I’ll see if I can’t get the Mako up and running, if you two have everything under control here?”

“Yeah, Garrus, we’re good.” Kaidan gives him a thumbs up, and Garrus makes his way back to the Mako.

She takes the offerings with a mumbled thanks, downing the juice in about 5 seconds, hands still shaking. “Sorry you had to see that.” She kept her eyes trained on her hands as she tore open the granola bar.

“Don’t be. You may have put on a more, uh, spectacular display than I’m used to seeing, but I have seen it before. And I know how to work with the aftermath.”

“Not your first 2.5? How lucky.”

“Yeah, we had two of them on the Shanghai, the most I’ve ever worked with other biotics. They uh, butted heads enough to set each other off, so we had to keep them separate or distracted on ground missions. Didn’t wanna risk wrecking more equipment. Kimball ended up getting reassigned to the Fuji a year or two back, but Benton’s still there, I think.” Kaidan was sitting next to her in the sand now. “One time they got into this argument, I don’t even remember what it was about, but Benton was pissed. Next thing we knew, Kimball and I were tossing up a barrier to cover the rest of the squad, because everything unfortunate enough to not be bolted down was flying through the air. Ripped a door right off the Mako, thankfully he didn’t have the juice to pull the whole thing. That one was fun to explain to the captain.”

That gets a laugh from Shepard. “I can only imagine going to Anderson and telling him we need a new door for the Mako, or worse a new Mako.” She crumples up the granola bar wrapper, shoving it in a suit pocket. “God, it feels like I was fighting off that meltdown all day.” She lets her knee fall against his, plating clacking together.

“You good?”

“Be better once we’re off this fucking rock.”  This place was a dead ringer for Akuze.

“Well, I’m glad you don’t have to ask the captain for a new Mako, at least.” He grabs her helmet and gets up, shaking sand out of the joints of his suit, and offers his hand to help her up. “C’mon, let’s go see if Garrus has made any progress yet.”

Prompt List

Read on AO3

[shadoedseptmbr]

10, 17, 21?

THANK YOU <3 

10. what would your non-perfume/cologne signature scent be?

Hmm. Good dirt and fallen leaves.  Find me in the forest floor :D

17. what would your superpower be? how would you use it?

Oof.  That one’s hard. I would very much like the ability to show people just how good they are, when they’re doubting.  A sort of...instant of insight.  Just a glimpse of “oh i’m actually quite talented.” Do my best to...light a path, when it’s too dark.  

21. the best ice cream flavour

Ah this one’s a bit easier.  Alas, it no longer exists, meh. Once upon a time, Ben and Jerry’s made their Coffee with Butter toffee Ice Cream with actual Heath Bars. It was one of their few non-fair trade items.  And it was perfect because, as the ice cream got soft, so did the toffee and they would bleed together into perfection! And while I do understand the change, it just doesn’t taste as good. (Haagen Daas made, for a limited time, an oatmeal cookie with cinnamon ice cream that was also divine.) 

[ripley95]

Winter prompt 13 for a pairing of your choice?

Thank you so much for the prompt! I really liked the prompt for sweater weather and this was a fun one to do. Probably unsurprisingly, I ended up going with f!Shenko.

-

What's Mine is Yours

Pairing: F!Shepard/Kaidan Alenko

Word Count: ~900

Summary: The rain is relentless in Vancouver, and the weather is getting colder. Shepard comes home seeking some comfort and warmth, and Kaidan is there to provide that for her.

Read it on AO3

-

Shepard walked through the front door of her and Kaidan's apartment. It had been a long day at work. Hackett had needed her to stay late to rush through an urgent project imperative for the next stages of the rebuilding efforts. Kaidan would have been home for hours already. Of all the days she's spent in Vancouver sharing an apartment with him, this was probably the most thankful she'd ever been to step through the threshold of their home. On top of the already long hours at the office, she was caught walking home in the rain. It was the first time she begrudged living within walking distance from Alliance HQ.

"Hey, you're home," Kaidan said with an excited lilt to his voice. He hadn't even seen her yet as he walked towards the front door. He was staring distractedly at his Omni-tool. "I was just thinking about ordering a late dinner. I wanted to wait fo-" he said, getting cut off as he finally looked at her. "What happened?! You're soaking wet," he said as he went over to her, grabbing her gently by the shoulders to check if she was okay. He felt her trembling under his hands.

"I forgot my umbrella," she said as her teeth started to chatter. "It's getting colder too."

"It is almost winter," Kaidan said with concern as he helped her peel her coat off. It was practically sticking to her, being slick with water. "Jees, it really must have been pouring out there. The water's soaked through your jacket. Why didn't you call? I could have come to pick you up."

Shepard cradled her elbows while she was still shivering and looked down at her sweater. Kaidan was right. Water had already started soaking into her N7 hoodie. "You know how much I usually like the walk. I wasn't expecting it to be this bad," she said, noticing the shakiness of her voice.

"Never underestimate how bad the rain can get here. Especially this time of year," he said as he took off his sweater. "Here, take mine."

"Kaidan, you don't have to do that. I have plenty of sweaters I can change into."

"I know you do, but mine is already warm. Take it," he said, holding it out, ready for her to put it on.

"Are you sure?" Shepard asked.

"Of course. What's mine is yours," he said with a gentle smile. "I can just go get another one. I'm not the one who's freezing."

Shepard took her sweater off and accepted his quietly with a smile of gratitude.

"Why don't you go change your pants and wait for me on the couch. I've got an idea."

"Okay," she said curiously.

She followed his direction quickly and went to put on a pair of her warm pyjama pants before going to sit on the couch. A few minutes later, Kaidan came out wearing a new sweater of his own with a blanket and towel in his hands. He handed her the towel.

"For your hair," he said as he sat down beside her and placed the blanket over top of them.

"They're warm," she said as she took a moment to dry her head off as best she could before looking at him questioningly.

He took the wet towel from her and set it flat on the armrest of the couch. "Yeah, I popped them into the dryer for a couple of minutes to warm them up," he said as he looked over to her, still concerned.

She couldn't believe how thoughtful that was. She never would have thought to do something like that.

"How did I ever get so lucky," she said as she leaned over and kissed him gently.

He wrapped his arm around her and nudged her to lean her head on his shoulder. "I ask myself that every day."

Shepard wrapped her arms around herself to try and maintain the warmth she was starting to feel. She couldn't help but smile at how far they'd come and how grateful she was to have him in her life.

"Were you saying something about ordering dinner earlier?"

"Oh, yeah. I wanted to wait for you, and now I'm glad I did. What do you say to something to warm you up? Maybe Pho?"

"Sounds perfect," she said, thinking that was exactly what she needed right now.

Kaidan brought up his Omni-tool. Shepard quickly moved to sift through the list of restaurants so Kaidan didn't have to relinquish his other arm that was providing her with warmth and comfort she needed after today. She put in their regular order from their go-to spot and hit the confirmation button. Now all they had to do was wait. She was about to get more comfortable but paused for a moment and looked back at him first.

"You know what you were saying earlier?"

"Hmm," he questioned.

"The whole, what's mine is yours thing."

"Yeah."

"I don't think any of my sweaters would fit you," she said, which elicited a laugh out of Kaidan, "But, the sentiment is mutual."

Kaidan smiled at her softly, clearly appreciating the gesture. He held on to her tighter, drawing her in to rest her head more comfortably on his shoulder. She pulled the blanket up closer to her chest and settled in. Kaidan kissed the top of her head gently as they shared a moment of solitude. Whatever shivers Shepard had left in her were gone, and there was nowhere else she'd rather be.

[pigeontheoneandonly]

Ooh, Nathaly childhood friends AU?

I’m so glad you asked!  This isn’t one I talk about a lot, because there are so many screwed up dynamics and emotions involved, and I expect it’s only truly interesting to me. :P

This AU is based on the premise that Nathaly and Kaidan lived on the same street in Vancouver from the time Nathaly was three until Kaidan left for BAaT.  (I fudge their ages a bit to make them closer in age.)  From Nathaly’s point of view, he just vanished one day-- his parents wouldn’t tell her what happened, and her mother’s career took them away from Vancouver not long after.

But Nathaly never forgot her best friend.  When she’s a teenager and BAaT dissolves, she spots Kaidan in the background of a news report about situation.  Her mother tells her to forget it, so she takes all her savings and buys a shuttle transport to Vancouver without telling anyone, and shows up on the Alenko’s doorstep without any kind of plan beyond “maybe it’ll be warm enough to sleep in the bushes”.  Everyone is angry except Kaidan, who remembers her, too.

They get reacquainted, and this leads to a relationship.  They wind up marrying fairly young and have a daughter.  Nathaly enlists to better support them while Kaidan is in college, and winds up in spec ops.  Kaidan ends up joining as well after he graduates.  

Then Akuze happens, and she abruptly files for divorce, without ever telling Kaidan the real reason, but instead blaming it on the hardships of her job.  Over the next ten years, the dust settles and they are on friendly terms, which occasionally crosses into friends-with-benefits, but it’s clear to everyone who knows them that there’s still love there, and for whatever reason Nathaly just doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. 

Eventually, because Anderson only knows her, he accidentally puts them in the same command when he puts together the Normandy crew.  And then Eden Prime happens, and there’s no chance to get it sorted out, and they end up on the same ship for the duration.  For the first time in a long time, they’re living together, working together, on a ship too small to escape, and it forces them to confront and deal with all their baggage.

She finally comes clean about what drove her to push him away (and in my defense, I never said it was a good reason; in any universe, a lot of Nathaly’s reactions in relationships are driven by fear and pain).  They reconcile! Everyone is happy! Their kid is like “FINALLY”. 

And then she dies.  Because this is Mass Effect.

Excerpt:

Nobody paid her any mind as she matched the placement of the shutters and the winding of the walk to her memories, and made her way to the door of 793.  For the first time, doubt overshadowed determination. There was every possibility they no longer lived here.  There was every chance they would not remember her even if they did.

But she hadn’t come all this way to not even try.  Before she could dwell on it any further, she raised her hand and knocked.

A small eternity passed before she heard the latch pull back.  The door creaked open, just enough for a woman to peer out.  “Yes?”

It was Kaidan’s mother— older, gray in her hair, more lines about her eyes and mouth. Nathaly breathed a sigh of relief, and broke into a grin.  

Nimura frowned. “If you’re selling something for the high school, we already bought from the girls across the street.”

“No.”  She realized she hadn’t spent so much as a second thinking about what to say after she got here.  “No, I’m— I know this is a surprise.  I’m Nathaly Shepard.”

Nimura’s brow wrinkled.  Nathaly wondered what she must be thinking— Nathaly Shepard, to her, was a young barefoot redhead running through her yard and upending her tulips, not a blue-haired teenager in ripped jeans and a too-small t-shirt.  She cleared her throat.  “My parents lived down the street, when I was younger.”

“Oh.”  Nimura seemed still surprised.

She tried to start over.  “I saw on the news that Kaidan had come home.  That’s wonderful.  I was hoping I could say hello.”

His mother continued to gape at her, at a loss for words.  Nathaly’s smile grew a bit fixed.  

At that moment, there was the sound of someone coming down the stairs, and then Kaidan was standing behind her, yawning.  His hair was a complete mess.  “I heard someone at the door—”

He stopped and saw Nathaly.  

“Hi,” she said after a second’s pause.  “I don’t know if—”

“Nathaly!” He shouldered past his mother, slipped out through the crack in the door, and pulled her into a long hug.  

Her grin became real, and wider, and she returned the embrace whole-heartedly.  She didn’t even mind that his mother kept clucking from the entry.  

He pulled back a bit.  “They told me you moved away.”

She tried to suppress her delight that he’d asked.  “I did.  I was in the neighborhood.”

It wasn’t a complete lie.  He looked her over with something like disbelief.  “It’s so good to see you.  I’ve only been back a few days.”

“That’s right,” Nimura said, her mouth a thin line.  “I’m sorry, dear, but this is a time for family, not visitors.”

“It can’t hurt to have her stay just a little while,” Kaidan argued.  He gave his mother a pleading look.

She held her ground a few seconds longer before capitulating with a sigh.  “If it’ll make you happy.”

Nimura held the door open wider, and they all went inside.

The house was as Nathaly remembered.  Not so much as a picture had moved, as if it’d been frozen at the moment of Kaidan’s departure.  The impression was downright eerie; it felt like there was no light in the house, as though the windows filtered out all the warmth of the sun.  She smelled dust in the corners.