#jelo writes

[jelotinousblog]

this afternoon i went outside and ran around in the heavy rain and it was exhilarating. it made me feel young again, like when i was a small child. as the sky's tears fell down and washed away my melancholy, they soaked my clothes and skin and they left me shivering, and cold but laughing so loud i was nearly screaming out my joy. this afternoon i went back into the lobby, drenched in rainwater, shaking my hair out like a dog, still laughing to throw myself down on a couch, sprawled out like clothes laid out to dry, to let my wet hair, wet clothes, wet jacket all slowly evaporate in the presence of my body's calm warmth and i realized that in this moment of my life, i am content.

[jelotinousblog]

i forget sometimes how much words can do. i forget sometimes that i am a stormcloud that my rain falls heavy onto your shoulders i forget that i am not light raindrops i am thunder crashing torrential sheets of water crashing down when my clouds are dark and i cannot contain their weight anymore i can only open my mouth to speak and when the words pour out landing heavier than i ever thought they would when like witnessing a car crash i watch them hit you when i can see the way they hit it you hits me like a punch to the gut my stomach sinks like a stone as you flinch and i know that it helps nothing for me to say that and i know that saying sorry isn't enough i know nothing is enough but this is all i can say   is that i am sorry is that sometimes i forget

j/l/l/t

[jelotinousblog]

i still remember // the days when i thought we were so happy // you should have let me remember them that way

and not

ripped me apart by telling me the truth