— 20190314 / WHITE DAY — @jenoxrk
there’s no need to overthink it. if any of his other friends gave him chocolate on valentine’s day, jeno would return the favor in kind. it’s only natural, and there doesn’t have to be any sort of double-meaning or secret message implicated in the second batch of homemade cookies ( the first was a bust, and he still has the torched baking sheet to prove it ) he’s wrapped in a gift bag, bound together by a single red ribbon.
so. there’s really no need to over think it, sure, but the strangest twist and turn of jeno’s heart has been an overwhelming distraction for most of the day. he’s not even working today, schedule lessened considerably as he attempts to juggle university classes and a stubborn desire to keep up with dance, but he finds himself at the convenience store anyway.
this is how logic placates him: if jiwon shows up today, then he’ll give her the gift. if she doesn’t, then he’ll force it into his coworker’s hands with a smile because yangyang’s sick of taste-testing by now and his parents are on some new ketogenic diet.
it would have been simpler if he just texted her or something, now that he actually has her phone number, but the insistent bundle of nerves knotted at the center of jeno’s chest is a little too anxious to take initiative ( and really—he doesn’t understand why ). maybe it’s the fact that he might be overstepping some delicate boundaries if he’s giving someone who literally went on a date after dropping chocolates into his hands cookies one month after.
there’s little time for jeno to deliberate the weight of his potential actions, however, because his interest is piqued at the jingle of the entry bell, his gaze flitting from his coworker’s face—conversation about mundane things like club soccer and clashing class schedules halted—to jiwon’s in the entryway.
“ hey! ” he says in greeting, eyes already curving into smiles, too naturally. jeno’s mouth is moving before his brain does, but he’s much too deep to do much about it. “ i was hoping we’d run into each other. ”
the bag of cookies feels unnaturally heavy in his hands as he procures it from where it once rested on the counter, hidden by a box of mango hi-chew on display.
“ uh… here! ” as gracefully as possible (which isn’t much), he extends the gift to her, trying his best not to look as sheepish as he feels. “ for the chocolate. it was really good. ” and in spite of not liking chocolate, he’d been deliberate about trying it anyway. “ sorry, it’s not much… but i made sure to find a recipe with caramel! ” jeno pauses. “ uh, you know, just as friends? because— ” your date, he doesn’t manage to add, trailing off.
he’s almost sad to leave so soon, but there’s a textbook demanding to be rooted through waiting for him back home ( and a mess in the kitchen—flour hidden in secret crevices—waiting to be cleaned ).
“ i have to head out, but hopefully they’re good! i’ll treat you to ice cream sometime if they’re not. see you around, jiwon! ”
she wonders if its weird of her to show up here like clockwork. a little bit after ten-thirty and she’s strolling up, fresh off the bus stop; fingers curled into the depths of whatever sweatshirt she had thrown on in the morning. sometimes with the black face mask cornered along her jaw, other times with the hood of her sweater up to mask the shadows that would have been highlighted beneath her eyes due to the horrible fluorescent lighting.
it’s not weird, she comes to the decision as her entrance is made known by the chime of the door. it’s not weird if you don’t make it weird, she reassures herself once more as she passes the barrier between the cold spring night and the overly-lit interior of the convenience store.
“ah, jeno --” she sounds surprised, presses tongue to cheek to make sure the surprise that ripples through her features is genuine. she shouldn’t be surprised, not when she had been both subconsciously and consciously coming to the store several nights a week to buy reinforcements for an empty fridge ( and with a hope of seeing him, but of course the former was much more important ).
jiwon blinks, confused: “really?” don’t make it weird, don’t make it weird, she says to herself, chanting as she shifts one foot to the other and fingers tug at her sleeves; all the while, ignoring that weird, nauseating flip her stomach made at his words.
of all the times to get a stomachache ( at least that’s what she thought it was ).
and before she can counter her own question with another, much more pointed one; a bag is passed from one pair of hands to another. the confusion intensifying at the sight, the blush on her cheeks deepening at the thoughts that run amuck in her head. the whys that will go unanswered because she doesn’t have the guts to ask them and the dozens of explanations she makes up on the spot as to why he could be giving her this. ( especially after the mess she had made of valentine’s day, even chaeyoung had agreed she had messed up and there was no going back from that ).
she feels the weight in her hands, holding it in both, grow at his words and her jaw goes slack, slightly. oh, friends, right. because that’s what they were -- friends. he was only returning to her what she had given him, at least she hadn’t put her hopes too high. no need to catch them when they fell out of the sky. now, that would’ve been weird.
“oh, thank you. that means a lot.” she continues to stare at the bag, as if looking at it long enough would make whatever weird feeling in her chest disappear.
“right, friends -- we’re friends, right.” oh no, it’s getting weird.
she can feel it as she stares in confusion at the male and the bag, and the awkward smile that she plasters on her face despite the way her heart is beating, perhaps, a beat too slow. why was she getting disappointed, this was simply a thing between friends. don’t make it weird, jiwon-ah. he thinks of you as a friend, nothing else. this is a friend-gift, nothing else.
this wasn’t weird at all.
“a-ah, have a good night!” she finally says, albeit, a beat late as she watches him move towards the door and she feels her hand move, automatically, to his movements; waving goodbye as she watches his figure depart from the store. and she’s left alone with her thoughts and the unnamed worker in the corner.
this was weird, too weird. she made it weird.
she can already feel the pity radiating off the male in the corner, having watched the entire ordeal without a word to say but with one glance his way, jiwon just knew what he would have said if allowed. scratch weird, this was sad and everyone in the room knew it.
a thought makes its way to her mind belatedly, once she’s away from the store, climbing up the numerous stairs to her apartment, plastic bag hung by her fingertips. had jeno been wearing his work smock today -- had he been working at all?
her head tilts as she presses the numbers into her door’s key-pad, “huh ... that’s weird.”
