Summary: When you started dating Jensen Ackles, things were damn near perfect. You were so compatible, and you fit into his life seamlessly. After Supernatural ended, though, Jensen got a new job. Pretty soon, Jensen also got a new life. And you no longer fit in it.
Jensen x You
Inspired by the song Now That We Don’t Talk by Taylor Swift
Masterlist
You
You sat the last box down in your living room with a grunt. You’d been lugging boxes into your new apartment all day, and you were exhausted. You let your tired body fall back onto the couch, sinking into the soft cushions.
You looked around the room filled with cardboard and the few pieces of furniture you had. You could feel the tears threatening to fill your eyes, and bit your lip to stop them. You pulled out your phone, tapping the name of the only person you could think to call at that moment.
“Hi, baby, how are you doing?” your mom answered on the second ring.
You sighed. “I’ve been better,” you replied, rubbing a hand down your face.
“This really is for the best, you know?” she said, and you could almost picture the sympathetic look she’d have on her face.
“Is it? Cause right now it feels just…horrible.”
“Yes, Y/N, it is. He changed, and you are not the only one who noticed.”
You sighed again. “Thanks, Momma. I better get unpacking. Love you.”
“Love you too, Bug. Pour yourself a glass of wine and just try to relax.”
You smiled as you hung up. Your mom truly was your best friend. You’d called her right after you broke up with Jensen and she’d talked you through it the best she could from nearly a thousand miles away.
After you’d moved to Austin to be with Jensen, you saw your mom a lot less than you’d liked. It was tempting to move back home after the breakup, but you had a job that you really loved, and you just couldn’t bring yourself to leave it.
You had friends nearby, too. The only problem was that Jensen was the one who introduced you to them, which made you feel a little uncomfortable. Gen had already reached out to you. She’d left a message wanting to get together to hang out. You hadn’t responded yet. You just weren’t sure if you could handle the inevitable conversation she’d want to have about the breakup.
You pulled out your corkscrew and a wine glass from your box labeled “kitchen” and opened the bottle of white wine you’d gotten on your quick grocery trip earlier in the day. As you took your first sip, you sat down again and let your mind wander to the beginnings of your relationship with Jensen.
Two Years Earlier - You
It had been by chance that you’d met the green-eyed actor at a coffee shop in your small town of Salida, Colorado. He’d been on his way home from a fan convention in Denver and had taken a wrong turn. He’d wanted to make the long drive alone to clear his head, and you’d learn later how stubborn he was about using the GPS on his phone.
He’d come into the coffee shop you frequented to get some caffeine and directions. You’d recognized him, of course, since you were a fan of Supernatural. You’d always kept up with the show, but you weren’t a big enough fan to have gone to the convention.
“Excuse me, miss,” you heard, looking up from your laptop in surprise. Though you’d noticed him enter the shop immediately, you’d never expected him to talk to you.
“I’m on my way back to Texas, and I think I’m a little lost. I don’t have any service on my phone, but I’m using the Wi-Fi here to look at Google Maps.”
You nodded, listening to his explanation while still wondering why he was talking to you of all people.
“Can you take a look and tell me if this is a good route back to I-25?” he asked, giving you a dazzling smile. You returned it, and took his phone.
“Sure,” you said, looking at the route his phone was going to take him. It looked fine, which only added to your confusion at the question he was asking you. Surely the app could tell Jensen what the fastest or easiest route was.
“That is a good option,” you said, handing him his phone back. “And when you go through Trinidad, there’s a great little barbecue place off Main Street you should check out. Awesome pulled pork and even better cheese fries.”
He nodded, his eyes surprised. “Thanks—“ he paused, stretching out his hand in an invitation to shake yours.
“Y/N,” you responded, placing your hand in his calloused one.
“Y/N,” he repeated. “I’m Jensen.”
“I know,” you said with a smirk. He let out a chuckle and stood there for another moment, as if deciding something.
“Would it be weird if I asked to buy you a cup of coffee?” he asked finally.
“Hmm, I have coffee,” you replied, glancing at the paper cup in front of you. He seemed to deflate a little, and you quickly continued. “But I would love a scone.”
He smiled again, giving you a wink as he headed to the counter. After he bought your scone and his own coffee, he returned to your table where he asked if he could join you.
You made small talk for a little bit. You told him you liked his show; he asked you about your life in Salida; you joked easily with each other. Before you knew it, a couple of hours had gone by.
“Well, I really should get going. I have a long drive ahead of me,” Jensen said, leaning back in his chair.
“Yeah, good idea,” you responded. You had really enjoyed your talk with him, even if it was just a random moment in your life and you never saw him again.
“Do you think I could see you again?” he asked, looking a little nervous. It was very cute, especially since he was a famous actor.
“Might be a little tough, what with living a thousand miles apart,” you said with a smirk. You saw his shoulders sink a little. “How about I give you my number. If you ever want to talk, I’ll answer.”
“Hmm,” he said, nodding. “It’s not ideal, but I’ll take what I can get, sweetheart.”
You smiled coyly and put your number in his phone. “It was great to meet you, Jensen. I hope we meet again.”
“Oh, I think we will, Y/N,” he said confidently. You shook your head with a smile as he backed away from the table and out the door.
I will never hear from him again, you thought as you watched him get into his car that was parked on the street. Little did you know, one day later he would prove you wrong.
Y/N Padalecki loved acting on Supernatural. Working alongside your older brother and your boyfriend, but after ten seasons the guys have chosen to hang up the guns. Now the three of you are moving on to other projects, but that’s all that needs to change right? While you have moved to Austin to be closer to your family and boyfriend, Jensen is working elsewhere. Distance is only the start of your troubles.
Series Warnings-This is the angstiest story I have written. Jensen isn't the best person when the story starts out. Medical Drama, car accident in future chapters.
This is still being written, but about 14/15 chapters are done. Major Thank you to @writercole and @leigh70 for their help with this! 💗
Characters: Jensen/Dean x Reader; Jared and Kripke mentioned
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Jensen is having a hard time with Supernatural being over. The reader has an idea to help him deal with his feelings.
Word Count: 2409
A/N: This is for you @lovealways-j. Thanks for your friendship and all the thirsty exchanges.
“Will you play something for me?” You hopefully held Jensen’s guitar out to him. He’d been home for three days now since filming on The Boys had finished, and in that time he’d eaten only egg sandwiches and barely said anything. Eventually, he’d open up and talk about it. Right now he was processing. That’s what Jensen did.
You’d known it wouldn’t be easy for him, being a different character after Dean Winchester had lived in his skin for fifteen years. It was almost a doppelganger type situation it had gone on so long. Dean was like a separate entity that came to life through Jensen every time Jensen flipped that switch, and flipping that switch had become increasingly easy over the years until the lines between Jensen and Dean were blurred.
Jensen took the guitar from you and turned on the barstool to face out from the kitchen toward the breakfast nook and give himself more room to play. He placed the instrument on his leg and started to pluck at the strings. Soon the familiar chords of “Simple Man” filled the air.
He started to sing the words to the song he loved so much in his smooth soulful voice and had almost made it through the first verse when he stopped. His fingers strummed at the strings of the guitar for a few more seconds before they stopped moving too.
It was a Dean song. Jensen had always said it would become real to him that Supernatural was over when he walked onto another set and had to be somebody else. For the past several months, that’s what he’d done; and he had to do it alone. The travel restrictions were still in place while he was filming. That meant you couldn’t be there; Jared couldn’t be there. Jensen was alone in his head, and he was inclined to think too much sometimes.
The separation hadn’t been easy on you either. You’d lost sleep more than one night after a Facetime call when you knew things weren’t quite right, and Jensen was doing his best to put on a good face for you. He was a good actor, but he wasn’t good enough to hide what he was really feeling from you.
The irony was you had been able to see Jared, and the two of you had met for lunch regularly when he had a day off from Walker. Jared and Jensen were a package deal. You’d known that from the beginning and were more than happy to get a best friend/brother included in the greatest boyfriend ever set. Your conversations had centered largely around Jensen and the ending of Supernatural.
Jared was worried about him too because he knew how hard it was to let Sam go, and the truth was he hadn’t. He couldn’t. Jared provided a lot of insight into the things Jensen might be feeling that he wasn’t telling you about.
Jared’s words echoed in your mind now as you watched Jensen set his guitar down on the terrazzo tile. He’s got to figure out how to make Dean part of him and any other character he plays, because Dean’s not going anywhere.
You walked closer to stand between Jensen’s open legs and run your hands through his once again short hair. Your fingertips massaged his scalp, and he leaned into your touch. “You miss him, don’t you?” you asked quietly.
Jensen opened his jade green eyes, and you could see the melancholy in them, the touch of heartache. He tried to laugh, but it was more of a heavy exhale through his nose and a sad smile. “I know it’s stupid. It’s been a year.”
You kissed the corner of his mouth. “It’s not stupid at all.” Then you took Jensen’s hand in yours, an idea forming in your head and putting a gleam in your eye. “Go get dressed. And when I say dressed I mean put on some plaid. None of this one layer business either. That’s not the Winchester Way.”
“What are you up to, Y/N?” Jensen narrowed his eyes, making the crinkles at their corners more prominent.
“We’re taking your Baby for a ride, so get your sexy ass off this barstool and go get ready.” You gave his butt a good smack. That would either get him moving or get his dick twitching; both would be ideal.
Fifteen minutes later, Jensen was backing Baby out of her special garage with you in the passenger seat. Driving her was like swimming; you didn’t forget how no matter how long it’d been since you last saw water. Watching the way he handled his beloved Impala was a huge turn on. It had been when you’d watched “Dean” do it on your television screen, and it was even more so now.
As he steered her down the long driveway, Jensen asked, “Where do you want to go?”
You were distracted by the sight of his forearms, with their prominent veins, peeking out from the rolled up cuffs of the red and black flannel he was wearing; and didn’t respond immediately. He looked over at you, saw you checking him out, and smiled. “Why don’t you come closer? You’re too far away.”
Jensen had changed practically nothing on the car. Installing an air conditioner was a must, but he’d wanted her to stay as much the same as she had been as she could possibly be. That included no seat belts, so you could slide across the bench seat until you were next to him. Jensen put his hand on your thigh. “That’s better,” he said. “Now, tell me where to take you.”
You put your head on his shoulder. “It doesn’t matter. Just find a pretty backroad, and let’s drive.”
When he’d driven far enough out of Austin that the road was mostly deserted, you started to kiss Jensen’s neck and nibble at his ear. “How many girls do you think Dean had in this car?” you asked while you blew into his ear.
“Do you mean had or had?” Jensen moved his hand around to the inside of your thigh and eased it higher up your leg, bringing it closer to your core.
“I think you know what I mean.” You wriggled down in the seat until your pussy made contact with his hand.
Jensen rubbed his thick fingers along the seam of your jeans, making you squirm. “Oh, I imagine he had quite a few.”
“Is this what he did with them? What you’re doing to me right now?” You rubbed yourself against his hand and moaned.
“Among other things.” Jensen’s voice had dropped down into the Dean register. “Why don’t you, uh, open those jeans you’re wearin’, and I’ll show you.”
He glanced at you, his hand still teasing you through the denim. His expression had changed. You were looking into the eyes of Dean Winchester. He could still fall back into character in an instant.
You opened them up, granting him access to the cotton and lace trimmed panties you were wearing underneath. Dean slipped his hand under the waistband and curled his finger right up against your clit. He started making circles over the already aching nub and applied enough pressure to make you feel like you could come apart at any second.
“You are so wet, sweetheart.” He was watching the road, but his focus was on you. “I bet you’re tight too.” He said it like he didn’t know.
The idea that he was completely in character now, and it was Dean touching you made you come all over his hand. You couldn’t grab him like you wanted to, so you clawed at the seat beside you instead while your orgasm flowed through you in waves that made you weak.
When your body stopped shaking, Dean pulled his hand from your pants and made a show of cleaning your juices off his fingers. God. His lips. You wanted to feel them on you. He was so close you could smell him, but you needed to be closer. You buried your face in his neck and breathed him in. “Find somewhere to pull over,” you told him. “Somewhere off the road where nobody can see.”
Dean/Jensen knew these Texas backroads, and within a short time he’d found a secluded place to park Baby. “Let’s get in the back,” you said, laying your hand over the swelling bulge between his legs.
“Sounds good to me, sweetheart.” He kissed you once. His mouth claiming yours, and his need for you evident in the way his tongue tangled with yours. Then Dean opened the door. You smiled when you heard it make the familiar groaning squeak. He got out and gave you his hand to help you out of the car.
As soon as you were both in the back seat and the door had closed solidly behind him, you reached for his belt. You couldn’t get him out of his clothes fast enough, and he’d worn all the layers just like you’d asked him to. With your clothes piled on the floorboard, you explored each other’s bodies with your hands and your mouths.
Dean made his mark on you, leaving hot kisses on your stomach, your breasts, and the insides of your thighs. His touch was a little different than the one you were used to, a little heavier with an almost desperation to feel alive through the act of joining your body with someone else’s.
You knew people said that Jensen should win awards for his acting, and you could verify that they were right because the way he kissed you, the way he touched you, it was tender, caring, and passionate. But the love wasn’t there. This man appreciated you, wanted you, worshipped your body, but he didn’t love you. It was Jensen who loved you.
The way he moved inside you was different too. His thrusts were deep and sharp, then he would slow down and roll his hips until you were begging for him to give you more. When he came inside you, the sound of your name on his lips was a more primal thing. It was basic and raw. This was sex for the sake of the pure physical pleasure, and it felt amazingly good. You clenched him tightly, determined to milk every drop of the pain out of him.
Immediately after the finish of your mind numbing orgasm, he rolled off of you. “Thank you, baby.” Jensen.
You turned toward him and propped yourself over him, so you could look down into his face. What you saw confirmed what you’d heard in the change of his voice. It was the man you loved. You kissed him, and it was the kiss you knew. It was filled with a soft intensity that made you feel loved, wanted, chosen, and trusted.
You were overwhelmed by how much this man meant to you. Dean Winchester was as sexy as any man had ever been, but it was Jensen you were going to marry one day, Jensen who held your heart. It was Jensen who always thought of you in so many little ways like a true gentleman would.
As if to prove it, he asked, “Are you cold?” He rubbed his hand down your back to check and apparently decided you were, because he sat up and retrieved his flannel from the floorboard. “Here. Put this on,” he told you as he helped you into it and buttoned up some of the buttons in the middle, enough to keep the shirt closed.
You settled back beside him, his arms wrapped securely around you. His body was warmer than any flannel. You placed soft kisses on his chest, then lay your head down on it. “It’s okay to miss him,” you whispered while you traced mindless patterns over Jensen’s heart with your fingertip. “It’s okay to be him again sometimes too if that’s what you need. He’s part of you, Jensen. Always will be.”
“It’s been so damn hard these past few months.” You kissed his chest again to encourage him to go on. “I hear ‘action’ and to me that means be Dean, but I couldn’t. I had to fight it. I couldn’t walk like him, or sound like him, or make any of the gestures he would have made. And, yeah, I missed him.”
“I missed being on set with Jared too, having him to play off of. We made each other better. We had a rhythm when we were doing a scene that was just natural. So natural, it almost wasn’t acting.” You could feel his arms tighten around you the slightest bit. ”I felt like I forgot how to act.”
You kissed him again, letting your lips linger on his skin before you pulled them away. “I wish I could have been there for you. I’m sorry you had to go through that alone.”
He tried to laugh again, just like he had earlier in the kitchen. It was a little closer to a real laugh. “I couldn’t be Dean Winchester forever, could I?”
You raised your head up to look at him. “That’s not even a question, Jensen.” You smiled when you said it. “You will be Dean forever. You can’t get him out of you. Stop trying to fight it. You’ve proved you can play another character. Eric can’t stop raving about how good you are, and I’m sure when the season is released everyone else is going to see that too.”
He reached up and took your face in his hand. “I’m one lucky son of a bitch to have you.” Your smile got bigger.
“See. That was Dean right there.” Realization crossed Jensen’s face. He shook his head and smiled, really smiled.
“So, you’re saying you wouldn’t mind if I bring Dean out to play every once in awhile?” The smile was still on his face, and it was beautiful.
“I wouldn’t mind that at all.” You kissed him then with a light flirtiness for the first time that day. “In fact I think it would be a good idea for us to do that. We better keep you in practice because everybody knows Supernatural is coming back, and we don’t want Dean to come across like Soldier Boy,” you said playfully.
Jensen flipped you beneath him. “Soldier Boy? I’ll show you Soldier Boy.”
Warnings: Language, Some Fluff, Mentions of a Break In, Violence, Blood, Angst, Injuries, Physical Abuse, Panic, Fear
Words: 2,950
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“Jay.” Jared’s continuous mutters of his name had Jensen shooting a finger in the air. He knew they had to get going but he hated rushing through a conversation with you. Especially after being gone for so long.
“Is that Jared?” Jensen couldn’t help but smile knowing that you could hear him too.
“Yeah, it’s Jared.” he then turned and widened his gaze, showing him that he was busted. “He’s trying to get me off the phone. We’re heading into the woods tonight.”
“Oh! Is it purgatory!?” Even Jared could hear your excitement come through, making both men chuckle. “Oh, please tell me that purgatory is coming back! I miss purgatory!” Jensen tried to fight off his laugh as best he could, but there were still a few cackles coming out as he spoke back.
“You miss Ty.”
“Everyone misses Benny! Can you blame me?” As Jared continued to stand there with an amused grin on his face, Jensen sent him a quick wink. A short celebration between the two at his comeback to you.
“Seriously though, can’t you at least tell me this? You’d think your wife gets to have a few spoilers here and there. It’s a privilege considering I’m technically married to Dean.”
“Now, are you married to Dean or me? Cause you just mentioned two different guys in one sentence.”
“Jensen!” Both men laugh harder this time, and Jensen can no doubt feel your eye roll through the cell phone.
“Sorry, honey.” he paused a moment, his free hand resting against his stomach as he tried to get his breathing back. “But um...I think you’re just going to have to wait like everyone else.” he was sure that his laughter just added to your irritation, but he couldn’t stop.
“You’re an ass, Ackles.”
“But you love my ass.” And that’s where Jared had to back away. With a playful wince, he lifted his hand and slowly backed away from his friend, chuckling along with him until he completely walked away.
“Yeah and you’re lucky that I do. You’re being a jerk.” you were definitely pulling off the pouty voice pretty well, but Jensen kept a small grin on his face knowing that you were trying to make him feel bad. Your attempts were always so cute to him though.
“I’ll make it up to you.” his sultry voice comes through, instantly sending a wave of pleasure through you. Just imagining how he would make it up to you was going to torture you throughout the night. “I promise.”
“You better.” Smiles on both ends of the phone grew, crinkles in the corner of both your eyes and the two of you couldn’t help but wish you were near the other in that moment. “I love you.”
“I love you too, honey. I’ll talk to you tomorrow before I leave, okay?”
“Okay.” As Jensen started making his way towards the large SUV that was going to be taking him and Jared to their shooting location, he felt like he should remind you of something, though he was sure you never forgot.
“And just remember, where we’re going, there’s...”
“Really shitty service. Yeah. I remember.” Just like he thought. He smiled as he hopped into the back of the monster car and pulled the door shut. “But I’m heading to bed, so I’m sure that you’ll be back in cell range by the time I’m awake.”
“Probably.”
“Night handsome.” you hated the twist in your gut after saying that. You wished more than anything that you could travel with him everywhere. You hated missing him so much.
“Goodnight, gorgeous.”
Even after hanging up and knowing he was gone for the night, you stared down at your phone, watching as your cell confirmed the call was over and waited until Jensen’s face was no longer looking up at you.
“Love you.” you mutter quietly before moving towards the sink and setting your glass next to your plate from your dinner of one.
With your phone in hand, you moved through the large room, switching off the light before looking briefly towards the back of the house and then you made your way towards the stairs. After making sure the security system was up and going for the night, you dragged yourself up the stairs, happy to be calling it a night even if it was only ten o'clock. You were anxious for Jensen to get home, so the sooner you fell asleep, the sooner tomorrow would be there and the sooner you would have him in your arms again; and you couldn’t wait.
Once you made it upstairs and shut yourself in your room, you went into the closet and grabbed one of Jensen’s shirts. Whenever he was away you would steal one of his many shirts to sleep in. It was a way for you to have him with you and you loved the comfort that his cologne brought you.
Climbing under the covers, you released a long, drawn out sigh, feeling your body melt against the soft mattress. The only thing that could make it better was if Jensen was next to you.
Sliding your hand across the sheets, you let your fingers run over his side of the bed, feeling a deep yearning for the body that was supposed to be taking up residents there.
This was normal, to be a lone most nights, but for some reason...tonight felt different, and you really wished he was home.
According to the time on your phone, you had been asleep for just under two hours, being just short of midnight. You thought you had heard something downstairs, but it could have easily been something in a dream you were having. It was just one of those things that you couldn’t quite differentiate between reality and your dreams. That is, until you heard it again.
You mind went into full blown panic mode and so did your hear tin your chest, but your body was frozen in fear. Your brain was trying to be the comforting friend, telling you to calm down, that maybe it was outside. Maybe it was a neighbor, but your heart apparently knew better than to be fooled by those theories.
Slow and easy, you pulled yourself out of bed, unhooking your phone from the charger while you were at it. Grabbing Jensen’s robe from the arm chair in the corner, you slung it around your body and stuck the phone in the pocket. Part of you wanted to call 911 right away and the other part of you was trying to think more rationally. What if it really wasn’t anything? What if something just fell? You really didn’t want to call an emergency number and be one of those people that wastes the authorities time.
“Back window, open. Back window, open.” The alarm by the front door just kept repeating herself, seriously getting on your last nerve by the time you hit the main floor.
“I heard you!” you hiss, quickly shutting the bitch up before turning to head through your hall to get to the back of the house.
The kitchen and dinning room looked empty as you passed, but you did see your back window open. Maybe you left it open? Maybe a neighbors cat was trying to jump in and set the alarm off? You weren’t sure. But you went up to it, scanned the back yard for a minute before shutting the window and sighing softly.
There was no more noises. It was dead quiet. Maybe what you heard was the wind knocking something over. As for the alarm, you didn’t know because everything seemed to be fine.
Take another glance around outside, you decided it was just a fluke and turned to head back upstairs and fall into your deep sleep once again.
Once again, you let your eyes scan the dinning room and then the kitchen as you took a few steps back towards the front of the house; but this time, you even chanced a quick glance into the sitting area, one place you neglected to look when you came down; and that’s when you really wish you didn’t do so.
A tall black figure was standing along the wall across from your couch, two bright eyes being the only thing confirming with you that your eyes weren’t playing tricks. The two of you stood like statues for a dreadful minute or more, just staring at each other. But then, they blink, making your body finally jolt into action.
You took off running for the front door, but didn’t make it any further than about ten feet before you got jumped from behind. The grunts you heard definitely sounded male and for some reason that just threw you even further into a panic.
You kept clawing at the floor, doing anything to keep moving towards the front of the house. Anything to get to your front door and scream for help, but he was just too heavy and he kept grabbing Jensen’s robe and yanking it back, making you lose your momentum.
Excitement rose within you when you were able to get a good kick in. You weren’t sure it it was his leg or what, but whatever it was, it had him screaming out in agony and his hands were no longer stopping you.
You were able to get on all fours, scrambling to get a hold of yourself so you can get to your feet. You were breathing heavy and shaking like a leaf, but you knew you were only a few feet away from the door to freedom and you needed to hurry.
But you just weren’t fast enough.
A hand took a hold of your ankle and yanked you in the wrong direction. Your hands and legs were no match for this movement and you flopped back down to the wooden floor. Your chin smashed against the hard surface, causing you to cry out, but you had no time to dwell on the pain.
You fingers kept clawing at the floor as he dragged you back towards the living room and you kept screaming out even though you knew it was no use. No one was going to hear you.
Before you made it back to the living room, you cried softly to yourself when you saw your cell phone on the floor on the hall. It must of slipped out as he pulled you away.
“No...” you whimpered, feeling the pain in your face from the blow before.
As he came to a stop, you instantly flipped over on your back and kicked a leg up in hos direction, but to your surprise, he caught it and twisted your ankle.
“Ahhhh!” you weren’t sure if he broke it or just twisted it real good, but it hurt like a bitch. You had to take a moment to curl into yourself, nursing it for a moment before tying to push yourself up off the floor again.
The pain was horrendous. You really didn’t want to put weight on your foot, but you had no choice if you wanted out of that house.
Every time you put any weight on that foot, you cried out, but you pushed forward. But what scared you even more was even though you were injured and moving slower, he wasn’t grabbing you again. Like maybe he was getting off on the fact that you were his toy and he knew you weren’t going anywhere.
But you couldn’t focus on that. Whether he was or not, you just needed to get out of that house, no matter what. So you kept limping towards the hall, dying to get to your phone.
About a foot away, you started to lean down to grab it, but that’s when you fell forward.
He had kicked your good foot out from under you, sending you to the hard floor once again, but this time from higher up and on your already injured leg.
You were screaming as you got a good grip on your phone, trying to ignore the pain at all costs so you could dial 9-1-1.
Yet, after punching in the 9, he kicked you in your side, mumbling something about “stupid rich people”, but the kick also messed up your dialing. The keypad was no longer up and your attempted call was now gone, taunting you to try again. Your fingers must of brushed the screen and changed the page. But there was still a sliver of hope and you were wishing with everything in you that it would work.
Your contacts were up and the person right below Jensen was Gen. Praying to anything that was listening to you, you clicked on her name as fast as you could and then hit the call button; and you did it just in time too.
Just as you hit the call button he yanked on your ankle again, making you scream in agony as he pulled you closer to him. Once you were below him, he reached down and pulled you up by your husbands robe.
Once you were to your feet, he tossed you into your dinning room table like you weighed nothing. You went barreling into the back of one of the chairs and as you fell, the back of your head slammed into the corner of the table. You felt weak and dizzy and you had a feeling that he had won.
Question was...what was he going to do to you now?
Gen kept trying to call you back, but your phone just kept sending her to voicemail. She was fast asleep when you sent over your cry for help, and though groggy, she picked up knowing that you wouldn’t be calling unless you needed to. Though, when she did pick up, she was not expecting to hear what she did.
She could hear you screaming bloody murder. You sounded like you were in pain but she wasn’t sure, and with her attempts to talk to you were only coming back as more screams and a lot of shuffling around, she instantly jumped out of bed and threw on some clothes.
While she ran across her courtyard, that’s when she kept trying to call you back; but after about the fourth try and still getting your voicemail, she quit and just focused on her destination.
She swiftly jogged out to the sidewalk, keeping up a good pace as she made the distance between the two houses shorter. Being next door neighbors definitely had it’s perks.
But as she got just about fifty feet away from your front gate, she stumbled to a stop. The shadow of a man came barreling out from behind the bushes and down the street. His speed anything but relieving. Between the call you sent out, the time of day and now this. Gen was thrown even further down the panic hole.
Her frozen state gave her enough time to see if any other bodies would come crashing through the opening, but once she was confident enough to take the risk, she took off running for your house.
She slipped through the tiny opening in the gate, most likely how that man got into your house in the first place, then she was off like a bullet out of a gun once more.
Your front door was wide open, only the small light in the kitchen illuminating just enough glow for her to see the floor in the hall; and just enough to see the trickling blood trail that lead to the back of the house.
“Oh my God...” she whispered as she brought a hand up to her mouth. Tears quickly filling her eyes as she slowly kept moving forward, her gaze stuck on the floor as she followed the blood trail.
“Y/N?” her voice wasn’t as loud as she wanted it to be, but she accepted it. She would take that as a test call. See if anyone else really was in the house or not.
Once the deafening silence continued to ring in her ears, she pulled her eyes up from the floor, careful not to step in the red fluid that was slowly engraving itself into the dark wood.
“Y/N!?” she called out louder this time, but still nothing.
The kitchen finally came into view, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The only thing that was disturbing and out of place was the blood trail on the floor; and even as Gen looked harder at it, she could see scratches, as if something heavy may have been dragged.
“Y/N?” her voice shook before she made herself look up from the floor again. She looked back into the kitchen once more before continuing on to the small separation between the living are and dining room.
The living room was dark and she honestly couldn’t see a thing, and that’s when she turned to look into the dining room.
“Oh my God. Y/N!?” There you were, laying across the floor, blood soaking your hair and down the side of your face and you weren’t moving.
“Y/N!? Y/N, honey, wake up.” Gen cries as she pushes your hair aside and tilts your head a bit so she can get a better look at your face. Your blood was slipping through her fingers which of course only made her more emotional.
Knowing that sitting there and panicking wasn’t going to help the situation, Gen quickly snapped out of it and pulled her phone from her pocket and called 9-1-1.
Told ya it’s angsty. Hopefully you guys are ready for the little ride!
Characters: Jensen, Reader, Marie (OG Character), Nathan (OG Character) Dylan (OG Character), Donna Ackles, Alan Ackles, Mackenzie Ackles, Joshua Ackles, Jared (Mentioned), and Misha (Mentioned).
About: Reader goes home for the holidays only to be introduced to Jensen, the star of Supernatural. The Reader and Jensen hit it off that first night where one thing leads to another until the readers Brother walks in on them about to rip each others clothes off. For the next few months the Reader and Jensen get to know each more. Then the Reader decides to go home for the Summer just to see Jensen and he shows her his motorcycle and how it all works where one thing leads to another.
Warnings: Language, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Unprotected Sex (be responsible, wrap it up), Drinking, Oral Female Receiving, Mention of Drugs
DISCLAIMER: This one shot does contain a toxic parent and everything that comes with a toxic parent. That means there will be manipulation, gas lighting, emotional/psychological abuse, etc. If you live or have lived with a toxic parent and or person please read at your own discretion.
DISCLAIMER 2: Any of the shorts that are hot and steamy, I want to put out there that it's in no way disrespectful towards Danneel at all. I love her to death and respect the crap out the marriage between her and Jensen. So when reading those shorts, know that it all takes place in an alternate world where they aren't married at all.
A/N: If you have a small request, shoot me a message. Request close 7.11.2020 at 11.59pm US central time
A/N 2: Do you want to be tagged in future fanfics posts? Comment Below!
A/N 3: This took me 3 to 4 days to write so I really hope you enjoy this hot and steamy motorcycle ride.
Requested by: @magssteenkamp
Tag List: @hobby27 @elansaidaris @donnaintx @myinconnelly1 @squirrelnotsam
*18+ CONTENT. YOUNGER THAN 18 MOVE ALONG
**DO NOT COPY AND PASTE MY WORK ANYWHERE ELSE UNLESS YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION AND IF YOU GIVE CREDIT TO ME. I WORK TOO HARD ON THESE STORIES TO HAVE MY WORK STOLEN
***PLEASE READ WARNINGS AND DISCLAIMERS BEFORE READING.
I sit in the airport thinking and wondering how I am going to make it through the weekend with my parents. My Mom is toxic as hell while my Dad is just now waking up to her toxicity after nearly thirty years of marriage. He has told me many times over this last year that he was considering on leaving her but somehow she always found out and manipulated him to stay. "Maybe I can convince him to come home with me?" I whisper to myself. I have an extra room for him. I rub my face knowing it will be a long shot to get my father out of that house.
When my flight is called for Dallas, I stand up, picking up my bag and making my way to the gate. I hate holidays that require me to come home. Like Thanksgiving and Christmas. I make up excuses for all the other ones just to stay away from home. I was much more happier in Portland. As I arrive at the gate, I pull out my ticket and let the lady scan it. As I walk towards the plane, I think, I still have time to turn around and just say screw it and not get on. It will most certainly make my life so much easier.
I sit in my seat and send a quick text to my Dad letting him know that I was on my way. In return he say's he's excited and that my brother Dylan was coming too. I turn my off and sit back. My brother. The black sheep of the family is finally coming home for a holiday after five years. It'll be nice to hug him again and see how he's been holding up. I smile and close my eyes. This trip is going to be amazing and entertaining.
When my eyes open, I feel the plane preparing to land. I look out the window to my right and see the Dallas airport below. No time to turn back now, I think. Should have high tailed it when I had the chance. When the plane lands I wait until it's time to gather my bag and make my way back to baggage claim. As I do, I pull out my phone and text my Dad to see if he's here. I sooner I get out of this crowed airport, the sooner I can get home and lock myself away until dinner. He texts me back saying he and Mom are circling around and will pick me up when they see me.
"Great," I say stuffing my phone away. "Her highness is here to talk down to me and talk nothing but herself."
"I don't know your situation, but you can tell her highness to go screw herself," A voice next to me says. I turn to see a man about a few years older than me and highly gorgeous pulling up a few bags. He looks oddly familiar.
I laugh. "If only that will work," I see him give a small smile before I walk off.
I walk outside of the terminal waiting to see my Dad's small grey SUV. When I do, I get this sick feeling when I see my Mom. She is the soul reason why I stay away from home and avoid her. She belittles me and makes me feel so small. She judges the way I dress and do my makes. Even thinking about it makes me even more sick.
My Dads SUV pulls up next to me. He smiles at me and I return the smile. "Hey," I say as I buckle up.
"What? No hi for your mom?" My Moms tone said it all. "I see how it is. And is that what you wore on the plane?! That's just horrendous. I would never wear that!" Oh I wish this trip was already over. "At least your brother had the decency to show up in an actual outfit. You look like you're looking for drugs."
I smile sarcastically. "That's exactly what I'm doing Mom," My Dad glares at me from the rearview mirror but, I ignore it. "There's a guy I know off of 4th. He deals the best drugs! He's the whole reason I'm here."
"YN!" Dad says my name firmly and I stop. Guess I took it too far. "How was that flight?" He asks softly.
"I slept the whole time. I'm not big on flying." I say reaching into my bag to pull out the mini bottles I hid. I take one out and shot it back as fast I can before either of my parents see.
The rest of the drive home was in silence. Which, when riding with both my parents, isn't relaxing. When we pull into the driveway of my childhood home, I am out of the car before Dad puts it in park and bolt inside.
"YN," I hear Moms voice call after me. "You're not going to let your father carry your bags in all on his own."
"Marie!" I hear Dad say before I shut the door behind me. Then its all muffled voices.
I run upstairs and into my room. I can hear the music in my brothers room already. He only has music on when he and Mom get into it. That explains why she tagged along for the ride to pick me up. I close the door and drop what bag onto the floor and flop onto the bed. I didn't have time to close my eyes when I heard knocking.
"What?" I groaned. I did not want to get up off my bed.
"We will be having company over in a few hours so makes sure you presentable." Moms voice is overly heard. Dylan's music stops.
"Who?" I hear Dylan ask.
"The Ackles," She says. "They used to watch you guys when you were little. You guys got along with their kids."
"Who?" Dylans door opens but I can't shake that the name Ackles was familiar too. "You talk like we should remember them."
"Why do I even try?" Moms voice is irritated for whatever reason that is known to her. "Just be ready in two hours. Dylan don't wear look too goth. YN, don't wear pajamas. Make it look like you guys actually love your family."
I hear her footsteps retreating when a Dylan cracked the door. "Are you decent?" He asks.
"Yeah," I sit up on my bed and rub my face. I see my older brother walk into the room. He's wearing dark skinny jeans and a black button up shirt. I have no idea why Mom wouldn't think that's not goth like. "I think your outfit looks good." I toss another mini bottle of hard liquor towards him. He, of course, catches it flawlessly.
"Oh thank God," He cracks it open and tosses it back. "I do plan on wearing this and stuff like the whole time I'm here."
"Speaking of you being here," I pull out another mini bottle and toss that one back. Sadly its my last one. "Why are you here? I mean you've seen me a few times these last few years."
"Dad," Dylan says. "He says he's finally telling Mom he's high tailing it out of her life. Has the papers all drawn up and stuff. He wanted to see if he could live with me in Arizona. I automatically said yes because I want to see the look on Moms face when she sees her money source walk out on her."
Now I wish I packed more mini bottles. "Hopefully not in front of our dinner guest," I kind of hope he does secretly.
"No," Dylan stands up. "He won't do that. He will do it after they leave most likely. Now I will let you get ready and make sure you make yourself look like the fucking Queen that you are and slay that shit. Mom hates that."
I laugh. "As long as you do it too. Then we both can slay it together. And yes I will let you use my dark eye shadow palette."
"You're the best sister ever," Dylan walks out of the room. "What would I ever do without you?"
"Crash and burn, sweetheart, crash and burn."
Two hours came and went and both Dylan and I are ready. As we walk downstairs we hear the muffled voices of our parents and our dinner guests. This feels so much like my teenage years, I think to myself as I round the corner to the kitchen and stop dead in my tracks.
There stands the attractive man from the airport. In my kitchen. In my house. He's wearing a red button up shirt with jeans and nice semi-casual shoes. I zero in on his already darkening five o'clock shadow and begin to imagine what it would like in full. He notices me too and give me a smile.
"YN, Dylan," Moms voice sounds. She really never lets Dad talk at all. "I'm sure you remember the Ackles children. Well, they aren't children anymore but, you understand what I mean."
Everyone gives a light chuckle. "I'm afraid I don't remember. I don't remember much of my childhood to be honest." I say giving handshakes to everyone. I notice my brother Dylan hesitate to give the attractive man a handshake. Then I notice his small blush. Damn, I think, it would be my luck to see the same attractive man to learn he could be gay. I guess I'll see when my brother hard core flirts with him during dinner.
"I'm Jensen," he says shaking my hand.
"YN," I say smiling and he smiles back.
I get everyones names and Mom and Dad say dinner will be ready in about an hour or so. In that moment I excuse myself to the back deck to mix myself a drink. Mom glares at me while I walk away. I also notice Dylan trying to flirt with Joshua who was equally as attractive as his brother.
Once on the back deck I take a deep breath and head to Dads bar and start mixing a drink. Then I hear the door open and close. The sound of footsteps tell me its a male.
"So, the whole telling her highness to screw herself didn't happen, I assume," Jensens voice is super smooth.
I look up from my mixing. "If you're meaning my mother, then no it didn't. In fact she accused me of buying drugs."
"Really?!" Jensens voice sounds surpised. "Wow, isn't a plane ride supposed to be comfy?"
I throw my hands up in the air. "That's why I was thinking." I make the mistake of looking as he licks his lips. I turn away quickly and grab the other mixer. "Want a drink? I'm pretty good at mixing."
"Surprise me," Jensen says soft voice as he raises an eye brow and looks me other.
For the next half hour we talk. We talk about random things. We talk about his time on his hit shower Supernatural. A show for some reason I have never seen and now am very interested in. We talk about his life in between shooting his show and being home. I share that I am rarely ever home due to Mom. I don't go into details but I think he get's the gist of it.
"So, I have this huge vinyl collection. Passed down to me from my grandfather before he died." I say mixing another drink. I am slowly starting to feel the effects of this drink. Jensen is still working on his first glass. Such class that is getting horny. "Would you like to see it?"
Jensen smiles and sets his drink down to follow me inside. Dad looks up from listening to Jensen's dad. "What are you two up to?" He asks.
"I'm going to show Jensen grandpas vinyl collection he gave me." We waltz pass them and up the stairs. At the top I loose my balance and fall back into Jensen who grabs me with both his arms.
"One two many drinks?" He asks chucking.
"I promise I can handle my drinking," I begin to walk again. Once in my room I go to my closet and pull out a few boxes and open them. "My Dad was or is still going to be sending these to me but, have a look at them all you want. I don't have them organized."
Jensen looks at the records and with each one he finds that excites him, it excites me in places I never thought to be excited in again. I watch as his smile takes up his whole face and how his eyes crinkle when that happens. I guess I'm staring too long because Jensen looks up a few times with his eyes. I know I should I look away but I honestly can't. This man is just too handsome and sexy to just look away.
Jensen sets down a Sinatra record and comes over to sit next to me on the bed. I am very aware now of how close he is but I still can't stop staring. I rack him over with my eyes and take a deep breath and exhale. I look away and take a huge drink. Nope, no tonight, not in this house, I think to myself. Mom will find out and she will have my ass for having sex yet again in her house. l turn to apologize for staring when I feel his hand on my face pulling it in towards him.
His lips are soft. His lips are eager. His lips move around mine like they were made to be there. I sigh and part my lips and I feel his tongue shot right into my mouth and explore every part it. When he starts to pull back, I nip his bottom lip. Jensen sucks in a deep breath and within seconds he has me straddling his lap. The two of us trying to get our shirts off when my door opens.
"YN, Mom says dinner is,..." Dylan's voice snaps the both of us out of whatever trance we are in. "Well, I see that you skipped right on to dessert. Please continue." I look over to see Dylan checking Jensen out leaning on the door frame licking his lips.
"Don't you know how to knock?" I hiss at him fumbling to fix my shirt.
"Don't you know how to put a sock on the door?" Dylan asks smirking, still checking Jensen out.
Dinner was good. I couldn't keep my eyes from glancing at Jensen as he talked about his show and his co stars. Mom was just over the moon and always ask questions that were like "Oh Jared this" or "Oh Misha that." I will need to look those guys up too. I could also tell that Jensen was getting uncomfortable. So I brought the attention to myself which of course Mom hated. Her death glare let me know it too. Dinner ended on a high note though.
"Here, put your number in and I'll do the same," Jensen held out his phone. "That way we can talk while I'm shooting." I take his phone and give him mine. We put our numbers in and say goodnight and goodbye. Hopefully, I think, I get to see him again.
The rest of my time home actually went to hell. The next morning we wake up to Mom screaming at Dad. He had given her the papers and told her she either had to sign now or sign in front of lawyers. Mom tries everything in the book but Dad stood his ground. In the end, Mom storms out screaming and calling Dad all sorts of names and saying she has nothing to her name and that he can't just up and leave her. Says that he can't live life without her because he is nothing without her.
After Mom left, I changed my flight to leave before Thanksgiving. I wanted nothing to do with what was going to go down. According Dad, Dylan already has space for him set up in Arizona. I felt better about him having a place. Two days before leaving, I pack up what I else I wanted to take to Portland with me. Everything else would be put into storage for later or donated. Dylan helped me ship them off.
The day before I left, Mom tries to talk to me but I told her she did it to herself all these years. The manipulation. The gas lighting. The mental abuse. The emotional abuse. The whole deal. It was all her that lead to this. She huffed and called me a bitch and that I am no better than Dad. So by the time I make it home, I am a wreck.
Over the next few months, I bury myself in my work and ignoring Mom. Dad on the other hand was doing much better. Already got a job out in Arizona and is saving up to get a small apartment. Dylan tells me he's the happiest and most easy going person without Mom. Mom on the other hand still refuses to sign the papers and has gotten cocky lawyers involved. She wants him to alimony and when he dies she wants me to continue to pay it. I said hell no. Dad stood his ground until the very bitter end.
While that was all going on and when it was finally over, I spoke non stop to Jensen. I even caught up to the current season of his show and tell him what I think of it all. We talk about anything that will keep us texting or talking all into the hours of the night. Neither of us mention that night in my room. Dylan thinks I'm falling for him with how much I talk about him. I doubt it but then again I might be.
Jensen, has been the only person to make me feel like I am not crazy. He has called me or facetimed me to help me through the rough days or the out the blue panic attacks. His entire existence keeps me from doing anything stupid. So, yeah, you can say that I'm falling head over heels hard for him.
By the time summer started to come around I am sitting in my apartment trying to get my AC to work when my phone rings. I answer without looking at the caller ID.
"Whats up?" I even hear the irritation in my voice.
"No," I groan and flop onto the cold tile in my small kitchen. "My AC broke and the landlord won't have anyone out until next week. I told him he won't see rent until it's fixed. Now he's threatening to evict me if I don't pay. But it's so damn hot that I'm practically naked right now."
"I'd love to see that," Jensen teases, making me laugh. "I'm sorry your AC is jacked up. Do you have plans on visiting Dallas?"
I sit up on my elbow. "Should I?"
Four days later Jensen is picking me up from the airport in a rental car. He paid for my entire flight and AirBnB taken care of. "I thought you would like to have control of what your AC temperature should be. Hotels normally run super cold to the point that Misha has tried spooning with me." I laugh. "I do hope it isn't weird that I am also staying that AirBnB."
"None at all," I say feeling my face warm up a bit. It didn't take Jensen long to convince me to come. I really wanted to see him and I really wanted AC.
When we get to the AirBnB, I can't help stare at it in awe. It's almost like a mansion. Then the garage door opens and there sits a motorcycle. I am much more interested in this Jensen guy. I get out to grab my things but Jensen shoos me aside saying he's got it all. I then walk on over to the motorcycle and trail my hand on it.
"Isn't she a beauty?" Jensen asks. I look and he's staring at me, well, more like slowly running his eyes over my body.
"Yeah," I answer looking back at the motorcycle. "My Dad used to have one when we were little. My Mom forced him sell it for whatever reason."
Jensen takes in a deep breath and walks by me. "I can take you around the block if you want." I am suddenly aware of his closeness. I feel my face burn hotter and I get all tingly down south. I look at Jensen and he's already holding two helmets. I smile and take a helmet and strap it on.
In minutes, I am sitting with my arms wrapped around Jensen. He's backing out of the garage and with a small rev of the motorcycle, we took off. It isn't too fast or too slow. But I still tightened my arms around him and closed my eyes. I have been on a motorcycle a few times but, I still get a knot in my stomach.
When we get back, I take my helmet off and take a deep breath. "That was fun," I say as Jensen manages to slide of the motorcycle. He takes his helmet off as well and I can't help but stare at his sweaty hair. That's when I notice he's been growing out his beard. I can't imagine what it would feel like on my skin. Again, I must be staring to hard or to long because Jensen smiles like he knows what I am thinking.
I swing my legs to the side as he walks towards me. As he reaches for my face I drop the helmet and grab hold of his shirt and pull him closer to me. The moment our lips met, my brain starts to set off firecrackers. It felt like a freaking life time since the last time we kissed.
Jensens hands run down my front to the hem of my shirt. I raise my arms up and he slowly slides off. I do the same to him. I've seen him shirtless a few times on his show and internet pictures but seeing it all in real life, damn! I bite my lips and Jensen licks his lips. I slide off the motorcycle and shimmy out of my shorts and underwear. Jensen watches with lust in his eyes and does the same thing. Jensen grabs my hips and sits me back on the motorcycle as he kisses me deeply. The longer he isn't inside me, I more wet and tingly I become.
As if reading my mind, and without breaking his lips off mine, I feel Jensens fingers slide between my folds and begins to rub it before slipping two fingers inside. I suck in a deep, sharp breath and let out a soft moan. He starts to pull in and out and twist his finger around softly but firmly. In seconds, I am starting to tighten up around his fingers when he pulls them out. I whimper at the lose of contact.
"Not yet," he says against my lips.
Jensen grabs my hips and picks me up. I wrap my legs around him as he slides himself onto the motorcycle. This is going to be interesting and fun. Jensen adjusts us so that we both were somewhat comfortable before lifting me up and positioning me just above his length. I place my hands on his shoulders as he lowers me on him. I close my eyes and drop my head. I hear a low groan come from him as he's fully inside of me. I look up and see him staring right at me.
"You're so fucking beautiful," he says and I smile. His hands grip tight on my hips. They will most likely leave a mark and I am fine with that. He lifts me up and slams me back down. A yelp escaping my mouth.
We repeat that for what I think is nearly a half hour. I am a whimpering mess and trying to hold back my louder moans. Jensen is grunting and the lifting up and down thing, well, thats starting to get irregular and sloppy. Our breathing is getting ragged and the the leather from the seat is start to rub on both our skins. One slam. Two slams. Three slams. I feel myself tighten harder around Jensen. My fingers dig into his shoulders, also going to leave marks. After one more slam into his lap, we both come undone. His arms wrap around me and I drag my nails down his back.
Once our orgasm fade away, I push back and look Jensen in the eyes. "That has got to be the best sex I have ever had," I plant a small and gentle kiss on his lips.
"Good," Jensen smirks. "I got some more ideas for the bedroom later." He must of seen the look on my face, because I am seriously intrigued now. "But first," He slides both of us off the motorcycle. "We should clean up. We have dinner with Jared and his wife."
Square Filled: Coming Out | Heartbreak | Non Romance | free space | coming out
Eyes wide, puffy and red, you wiped away the tears that wouldn’t stop falling, no matter how hard you tried to stop them from spilling over. You sat there on the couch in your dad’s trailer, waiting for him to finish shooting today’s scenes.
You were running out of time to hide away. If it meant that you didn’t have to talk to your dad, to postpone your conversation with him, then you would walk out of there and in to the snow. The Vancouver snow. Bit time was ticking by and you knew that you had to tell him your little secret. Huffing, you leaned forward, putting your head between your legs to keep yourself calm.
Not hearing the door open, you missed the look of concern on Jensen’s face before he scrambled to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water and rushing to your side.
“Hey, kiddo .” Jensen rubbed a hand over your head and down your back. “Here just drink some water and we’ll just sit and I’ll wait. You don’t even have to talk, I’ll be here to be your cuddle bud.”
Taking a deep breath, you sat up and thanked your dad for the water. When you gulped half of it down, you knew that it wouldn’t be long before your dad knew the truth about you.
You put the bottle on the coffee table and sat back, almost immediately falling into your father’s arms. Jensen sat there with you, just holding you tightly to his side, afraid to let you go too soon. He had witnessed many of your panic attacks before, standing by you through most of them. He knew better than to force you to talk, knew that if he forced you it would only make it worse- make your chest tighten and constrict your breathing further - so he left you until you were ready to talk.
You could sit there for hours, hugging yourself closer to your dad’s body, and damn it you wanted to, so you sat there for another ten minutes , building up the courage and finding the right words to say.
It was now or never.
“Dad, I have something to tell you.” Biting your lip, you looked up at him, taking a breath. You shook out the rest of the rest of your nerves, nothing bad was going to come of this, you had to tell yourself repeatedly. “I like girls and I think I have a crush on Kara.”
Jensen didn’t say anything, didn’t even make a sound and at this point it was worse than him shouting.
“I’m sorry,” you coughed out, your bottom lip wobbling as you tried to hold in the tears but the tingling sensation in your nose told you that it was too late, they were already flowing. A fat tear hit the back of your hand, you couldn’t stay in the same room as your dad, not when he was disappointed in you, so you ran.
The panic started to build up again and you couldn’t breathe but it hurt that you told your dad something huge about your life and he said nothing.
Sniffling, you found a hiding spot and just sat down, soaking in the setting sun, the last bit of hope you had for your dad accepting you for what you are - who you are - sinking into the horizon.
“Is it okay if I sit here, kiddo?”
“Sure,” you waited for Jensen to sit down next to you. He huffed when his butt perched on the floor. “If you want to disown me I’ll find somewhere to crash. It’s fine.”
“Y/N, what are you talking about? Why on earth would I disown my daughter for liking the same gender?”
“Because I told you my deepest, darkest secret and you left me hanging, you said nothing and made me feel that way; like I was nothing because I wasn’t into guys.”
Jensen shook his head along with his hands, “that was never my intention, baby girl. I was just processing and I went about it the wrong way, of course I should have said something - anything - but I didn’t and I knew that as soon as I saw that crinkle in your brow and took off in a rush that I fucked up.
“Baby, I don’t care if you like guys, girls, whatever. You are my daughter and I will support you no matter what because it’s my job but I don’t care who you love as long as you don’t fall for those bad girls who will get you into trouble because I don’t think my heart can take it.”
You giggled at your father as he placed a hand over his heart.
“Do you still love me?” You asked with a furrowed brow, it couldn’t hurt to ask.
“What kind of stupid question is that? Of course, I still love you. There is nothing in the whole world that would make me stop loving you.” Jensen kissed the crown of your head and encircled his arms around your shoulders. “And if you ever start dating someone, even if it’s Kara and I know her, I still need to do the ‘be back by midnight dad thing’ because we both know that it has to be done. Regardless of gender, I’ll be the one to decide whether or not another person is good enough to deserve my daughter’s love and affection.”
You stood and your dad did too, after the conversation you had you felt better, lighter that you told him that you were a lesbian but just because you were into girl didn’t mean that you were off the hook with late night talks or even sneaking out of the house if you secretly wanted to meet with anyone. Now that you had told him, you expected your father to question every girl that ever came close to your ‘personal bubble,’ he called it. Just like he did with all the boys that even smiled at you when you were on set or at a restaurant.
Father’s were mysterious creatures but when they loved you they were fiercely protective.
Summary: Love doesn’t conquer all, as you and Jensen soon find out.
Pairing: Jensen x Reader
Word Count: 1715
Warnings: Angst.
Square Filled: BTZ - Grief (Crossing my fingers this fills the square anyway!)
Recommended Listening: Happier - Marshmello ft. Bastille.
It started in Chicago. For the first time ever, Y/N had decided to stay in their hotel room instead of going to the Saturday Night Special. When Jensen asked her what was wrong, she promised him that everything was fine.
“I just need a night off, you know?”
He took her hand. “But I need you.”
Withdrawing her hand, Y/N let out a deep breath. “You don’t need me, Jensen. You say that, but then you get on that stage, and the fans are enough. They’re more than enough.”
“What do you think it is that gets me on that stage?” he countered.
“You were getting on stages and screens long before I came around.” She dropped down onto the bed, picking up the remote to turn on the television and find something to watch. Tears were brimming in her eyes, but she wouldn’t look at him.
Jensen left then, to meet up with Jared and head to the venue. He pondered Y/N’s behavior the whole time, trying to figure out where all of this was coming from. Her attitude had changed so suddenly, it seemed, and he didn’t know how to handle it.
“Maybe you need to just ride with it. She’s probably homesick or something,” Jared suggested.
That was something Jensen could understand. Playing Dean when he was in Vancouver, or doing conventions around the world — those were all amazing experiences. But being back home in Texas, that’s where he felt safe and grounded.
After the show was over and he could go back to the hotel room, Jensen quietly entered, afraid to wake Y/N if she had been sleeping. As it was, she was still awake, curled around a pillow, watching TV. A room service tray was set on his side of the bed. Jensen moved it to the small table in the room, and sat beside her on the bed. He brushed her hair back with his fingers and sighed.
“I’m sorry that I put that burden on you. My nerves and being the thing that gives me the courage to get out there most nights. I’m sorry.”
Y/N swallowed hard and sat up, her eyes still a little sleepy. “You’re not a burden, Jay. I love you, with my whole heart. I’m in a funk, I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
“Are you homesick?” Maybe Jared was right.
“Maybe,” she sighed, falling back against the pillows.
Jensen nodded and immediately made a hard decision. “Okay. Then let me send you home. I’ll see you there in a few days when I’ve got a break, then we can go back to Vancouver together.”
Y/N blinked, pushing tears down her cheeks. “Like you think we need a break?”
“No, not at all, I swear,” Jensen promised. “But maybe you need a break from the conventions and my chaotic filming schedule. Not from me, and I don’t need one from you. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“I know.” He kissed her sweetly, then reached up to wipe her tears away. “This is the first time you’ve been to so many conventions with me, and I know it’s overwhelming. More than overwhelming. It’s okay to need a break.”
Y/N sniffled and wiped her tears. “Okay. If you promise you and me are okay, then I’ll take the break and go home.”
“Okay,” Jensen agreed, giving her a small smile. “For now, how about I take a shower, then you’ve got my attention for the rest of the night?”
She sniffled again and nodded. “Do you want me to order you some room service? I didn’t mean to eat without you …”
“Food would be good, and don’t worry about it. Maybe you can get a snack.”
Y/N was already on the phone with room service by the time Jensen turned on the shower. As he stripped down and stepped into the hot water, he found himself already feeling better about their interaction earlier that evening.
* * * * *
Saying goodbye to her at the Chicago airport was difficult; more difficult than Jensen had expected. Not even a week would pass before they would see each other again, and they both had agreed it wasn’t a break from each other. Still, Jensen feared what would be waiting for him when he returned home after the next few days.
“You’ll call everyday? And text me in between?” Y/N made him promise.
Jensen hooked his pinky with hers. “I promise. Even with the time difference. And if you don’t answer, it’s okay.”
“I’ll answer,” she promised before she kissed him.
“You have everything? Ticket, passport, phone?”
She triple-checked. “I’ve got everything. I’ll call you when I land back in Austin.”
Jensen kissed her again, harder this time. “I love you, so much.”
“I love you more,” she said, hugging him tight. “See you at home.”
“See you at home,” he returned.
* * * * *
The next time Jensen talked to her, her voice was noticeably lighter. The tinge of sadness wasn’t there anymore, and she laughed at a joke he made.
She laughed.
Jensen hadn’t realized it until then, but months had passed since he had last heard her truly laugh. A chuckle here and there, maybe a small laugh as a courtesy, but not that genuine, from-the-heart laugh that he so loved hearing. And when was the last time she had smiled? The real kind of smile, the kind where her dimples showed. There had been smirks, polite smiles, even smiles that showed her teeth, but didn’t reach her eyes.
These thoughts plagued Jensen over the next few days. Maybe the problem had been only the convention and filming, but Y/N was so much happier away from the chaos. He didn’t take it personally, but he knew what he needed to do.
And he hated it.
When she came to pick him up at the airport, Jensen hugged her tight. He breathed in her smell, kissed her, and fell in love all over again. For just a moment, he considered changing his mind. He considered toughing it out, figuring a way to make his life easier for her.
But only for a moment.
He asked her to stop at the park near his Jared’s house after they left the airport. It was a nice day out, though a little cloudy, so Y/N didn’t seem to think much of his request. She pulled into a spot and went round to the front of the car, holding her hand out to him, waiting anxiously for him to lace his fingers through hers.
“I missed you,” she told him, leaning against his shoulder when they found a bench near the playground. “How were the last few calls?”
“They were good. I missed you.” He looked down at her; even her skin seemed brighter. Her hair seemed shinier, more full. “How was it being home?”
Y/N filled her lungs, and a smile tugged at her mouth. “It was great. Just the break I needed. I think being in Vancouver is going to be easier, y’know? I don’t know why, but I think I’m ready for it.”
Jensen sighed and nudged her a little with his elbow so that she would sit up and he could look her in the eye. “I don’t know, Y/N. Think about how miserable you were before you came home. And it wasn’t just that night, was it? That was only things coming to a head. Everything you love is here. You’ve got strong roots in your home.”
“So do you,” she frowned, already suspicious of what he was saying. “And I love you. I want to be where you are.”
“I know that you love me. That’s probably one of the few things I’ve never doubted in my life. But I’m not sure you’re ready for a life with me, Y/N. Filming, traveling — that’s my life. It’s not going to change, not for a long time. We’re either looking at you being miserable for nine months out of the year plus convention weekends, or spending all that time apart. Either way, I don’t think you would be happy. And I want you to be happy, Y/N. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, where you’re concerned.”
Her chin quivered and her eyes glazed over. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I think we both know, and have known for a while, that we love each other and we’re happy when we’re together, but if we stay together, one or both of us isn’t going to be happy.” Jensen swallowed down the lump in his own throat. “I’m saying that I think, in order for you to be happy, I need to walk away from this.”
Some strange sound between a squeak and a sob escaped her throat, and she leaned into him. She didn’t protest, which told Jensen he had made the right choice. He let some tears fall, too, while he held her there on that park bench.
“Did you ask me to come here so you could be close to Jared’s house and walk there after?” she asked once the crying was under control, for the time being.
Jensen shrugged. “I didn’t want to ask you to take me there, but I didn’t want the bad memory for either of us at our place. I want you to just have happy memories there. I’ll crash with my family or Jared till I can find a place.”
Y/N nodded and stood. “Okay. Will you — I don’t want to be selfish, but will you let me leave first? I’m not saying you’re wrong, and maybe we’ll figure this out at another time. But I don’t think I can watch you leave me.”
“Fair enough,” Jensen whispered, stealing one more chaste kiss before following her to the car to get his bags. He shut the trunk and turned to her. “I really do love you, Y/N.”
“I know,” she said, starting to cry again. “Me too. I love you, too.”
Jensen held out his arm to her, and she fell against his chest for the last time. He hugged her tight, kissed her forehead, then stood out of the way so she could back out of the parking stall and head towards home.
Fic Summary: You’ve lived next door to Jensen and Jared for a year and have had a somewhat strained relationship. After a recent and massive change in your life your paths cross again and they discover the cause of that, and bridges start to mend in unexpected ways.
Characters: Jensen x Reader, Jared x platonic!Reader
Genre: Angst mostly, some fluff... and my first smut *gasp*
Warnings: Swearing, blood, possible triggers for domestic abuse, and some smut
Length: 3 part series, roughly 7162 words in total
