I thought he was proud.
Pairing : Past!JaredxReader, Jensen Word count : 1,727 Warning : angst
Part 4 in ‘My son, Bringer of Storms’.
You had been on set for a few hours now, and no one had even heard from Jared. You were keeping River distracted, which wasn’t hard. He was a huge fan of the show, so everything interested him. He had even followed a Boom guy around for about 20 minutes asking a million questions. He wanted to know every aspect of filming the show. Finally, Misha had offered to show him the set of the bunker, so that’s where you stood now.
“Hey.” Jensen came over. He had been on set much earlier than you filming, so you hadn’t seen him yet, until then.
“Hey.” You smiled.
“Still no word?”
You shrugged. “I guess not.”
“Wasn’t he suppose to leave with you? What happened?”
“We were heading out when we ran into Genevieve-”
“.. She’s here?”
You nodded. “Yeah, River was introducing himself to her when we got down into the lobby.” You glanced over to where River was now sword fighting Misha using Angel blades.
He got a worried look on his face. “Shit. How did she look? Like, emotion wise, pissed, happy?”
“Kinda pissed actually..” You furrowed your brow. “Jen, what’s going on?”
He shook his head. “Idiot. I told him. I told him tell her before she found out from someone else. Fuck.” He pulled out his phone and tried to call.
You put your hand over his phone, covering the screen. “What do you mean you told him to tell her? She didn’t know? About River?”
“No.. He never told her. She knew you were back, that you had a kid, but she had no idea he’s Jared’s.”
“Dad didn’t tell her about me?”
“You really need to stop sneaking up on people and listening to their conversations, River.” You turned and gave him a sad look.
“I thought he was proud of me..” River looked down at his feet.
“He is.” Jensen said softly. “He bragged about you in the bar one night.” Jensen smiled. “Told our friends they should meet you. Talked about how funny and smart you were.”
“He said he couldn’t wait to bring me to Texas one day, to meet Tom and Shep. I was excited. I always wanted brothers, and to see Texas..” He turned his eyes from Jensen to you. “I guess that’s not happening, huh mom?”
“Oh baby..” You pulled him closer, and hugged him, a hand on the back on his head stroking his hair. “We can go anywhere you want buddy. Even Texas.”
He shook his head. “It’s okay, mom. It’s just not the same.” Your heart broke, and you cursed Jared. Cursed yourself for thinking this could work, for letting your guard down. “Mom?”
“Hm?” you looked down at him.
“Can we go home?”
You nodded. “Of course, baby.”
“I’ll let them know.” Misha gave you a sad smile. “Go on.”
“Thanks.” You walked away with River, and arm around his shoulder. “I’m sorry today wasn’t as awesome as you expected..”
“Can we have pizza?”
“Anything you want, Bringer of Storms.”
“I called myself ‘Destroyer of worlds’ today.” He looked up as you opened the door to the lot outside. “I knew you wouldn’t want me saying ‘destroyer of wombs’ to Gen. I guess I really did destroy some worlds..”
You tightened your arm around him, kissed the top of his head and tried not to cry. “But you made mine worth something.” You reminded him.
You and River had spent Saturday just being lazy in pjs all day. You didn’t want to chance running into Jared, or Gen, so you hung out watching movies and eating takeout. Anything River wanted. You felt like you had so much heartache to make up for.
It was late that night, River in his bed already, when there was a knock on your door. You sighed, and got off the couch to answer. Opening the door, you were face to face with Jared. “Hey, I-”
“No.” Was all you said before shutting the door in his face.
He knocked again, but you ignored it, leaning your back on the door and staring at the ground. “Please? Can we just talk?”
“Mom?”
You looked up, and River was in the hallway. “Go to your room, River.”
“Mom, I-”
“I said go to your room.” You told him more firmly.
“Please, let me talk to him.” Came Jared’s voice on the other side of the door. “Let me talk to you. Please.”
You motioned for River to get moving, and he sighed before he turned and went back to his room. He could see how hard this was on you. You wait for the sound of his door, and the faint sound of him in his room before you turned and opened the door. “No.” You told Jared more firmly.
“I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry? I only ever asked you for one thing. To not hurt him.”
“I never made promises-”
“You told him you’d take him to Texas, meet your family, his brothers. Jared, you didn’t even tell them about him. Do you know how much that hurt him? He’s so fucking proud of you, proud to be your son, and he thought you were proud of him.”
“I am. I-”
“You kept him a secret. I told you not to come into his life until you talked it out with Genevieve. You hurt him. The one thing you said you’d never do, you did. He’s my life, Jared. He’s all I have. He’s all I live for, and I watched my happy little guy, who finds the good in everything, find nothing but sadness. He feels like he destroyed your world, your family. Just leave us alone. Please.”
“He’s my son.” He pleaded. “Don’t force me out of his life again. Please. I fucked up. I-I didn’t know how to tell her. When I started dating her, people kept telling her if you came back, I’d leave her. I had to call her and tell her you were back. She was scared I’d leave her. I was scared she’d leave me. Like you did.” He looked down. “I just want to be a part of his life. I lost so much time already. At least let me tell him I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt him, I’m just so lost here, I don’t know what to do. Please, let me apologize. If he tells me to fuck off, I’ll go.”
“I want you to stay.”
“River! I told you to go to your room!” You tried to give him the best angry mom face you could muster, but you knew you failed.
He came and stood next to you, in front of Jared. “I want to try again, mom.” He was looking Jared right in the eyes. “He’s my dad, I’m the one he hurt, shouldn’t I get to decide?” You sighed and nodded more to yourself than anything. When he’s right, he’s right. “We’re going to re-introduce ourselves.” He told Jared. “Only this time, Gen will be there.”
“Slight problem with that..” Jared winced. “She was really pissed.. She’s gone. And I honestly, have no idea where we stand right now.”
“Hey! Asshole!” Jared turned, and you peeked around the door frame into the hall to see Jensen storming towards you. “There you are, I’ve been looking for you!”
Jared winced. “Oh shit.. I forgot. Gen called Dani as she stormed out..”
“You couldn’t just shit on your marriage huh, you had to shit on mine too? What the fuck Jare? Why did you tell Gen I knew?”
“Woah!” Jared held up his hands just as Jensen stopped right in front of him. “Dude, I didn’t say shit about you.”
“Care to tell me why I just got fucking chewed out by my wife then?”
“Uh…” River gave Jensen’s jacket a light tug. “That might have been me.” He gave Jensen the most innocent smile he could muster. “I sort of mentioned to Gen that you tell me I look like dad, but without the goofiness. But I thought she knew about me. I’m sorry.”
“Come on, kid. Don’t throw the puppy dog eyes at me. Your dad invented that shit, and it doesn’t work. I’m angry.” River threw in a quivering bottom lip. “Son of a bitch.” Jensen groaned, all but caving as his face softened. “But I’m still pissed at you.” He told Jared, and jabbed him with a finger. “Idiot.”
Jared had passed out on your couch watched a movie with River. River had fallen asleep against his side, so you just put a blanket over them before going to bed.
You were leaning on the counter in the morning, sipping tea when you heard a grumble coming from behind you. You turned and saw Jared shifting out from under River. “Morning sleeping beauty.” You chuckled at his bedhead.
He smirked as he rubbed a hand over his face, making his way to you. “Shut up.”
“Coffee?” He nodded. “Still take it the same?” He nodded again. You turned to start the coffee maker.
“You remember how I take my coffee?” He smiled.
“Of course. I made it for years. Between bringing you coffee at work, and at home.” You smiled at the memories. Remembering mornings spent in his shirts, bringing him coffee way too early in the morning while he got ready. Lips pressing against yours when you’d walk into the room. You swallowed, and tried to distract yourself.
He glanced up, pulled from his own memories. “Right.” He smiled.
You reached up for a mug and as you poured his coffee, he moved closer to you. It was easy for the two of you to fall back into it. Even with all the years that had passed, it was way too easy to smile up at him like you had. He had to stop himself from touching or kissing you, he couldn’t go that far back into the routine, not anymore. But he was more than happy with this. Having you and his son in his life, it was enough for the moment. Now he just needed to work on things with Gen.
River leaned over the back of the couch and watched. He watched how effortless it was for the two of you once you both relaxed and let go. He smiled knowing everything would be okay now.
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