Jude and energy. Those are the names I want for my kids.

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Jude and energy. Those are the names I want for my kids.
2nd day without you part two
So I called you and you were with her. That said a lot to me I am finally releasing you because I mean nothing to you. I see that now and I'm just sooo upset to have not seen it before. All the times I physically saw the truth and kept on telling myself that I'm good when in reality I wasn't but this time I willllll not fucking cry and I'm going to grow the fuck up. You don't deserve me and I don't deserve to beat myself up thinking what if so instead I'm going to think what next . And I'm moving the fuck on not into a relationship because fuck that shit but this time it will be about me !!!!!!! Me me me me me only me and I'm gonna make this money and I'm going to be happy if it's the last time I do. I'm going to have hobbies and enjoy my life because I'm not even 20 and I'm already miserable time to woman the fuck up I have soooo many years ahead this is just the beginning but I willlllll not be sad no fucking more fuck that shit
Day two without you
Baby I miss you so much !!!!! Everyone I think about you I feel like my insides curl up ! I think I'm going crazy from being without you. You're everything I see everywhere I look everything I dream. But you don't want me, and we will never be. I'm fine I'm fine everyone wants me to be fine but I just want to die without you. My heart bleeds without you, I can't even fucking breath right without you. I just want you by my side !!!!!! I wish you would come back to me but I know that could never be. I'm going to have to just live without you..... even tho I really wish I didn't have to.
First day without you part 2
It's still the same day and I can't get you out of my mind I just want to cry but I'm not going to. I want you so bad it hurts my bones it hurts to breath it hurts to think I found a video of us when we first fell in love and nothing can compare to it. You'll always be my first true love and I can never forget you. We probably aren't meant to be but boy does it hurt to not have you with me........ I don't even want to sleep because I may dream of u. I don't want you in my mind at all!!!!!! But you are.... what if...... I just stop existing ....
One day with out you
I feel empty and more then ever I'd wish you'd answer the phone but I know it's for the better. I miss you immensely but everyone keeps telling me it'll get better and I know it will. But right now I don't want to heal without you I just want you to hold me and tell me you need me and you love me and that you'll never let me go. But you won't cause the show is over I'm going to let you go.
These last couple of weeks I’ve been soo tired. Tired of breathing, thinking, and plain old living. I have been blessed immensely but I’m just sooo tired. And this depo shot messed up my period flow so I feel even worse and I think I’m dying and maybe that’s alright. Maybe that’s what I need, death to realize, well not realize. I just want to stop. I want to stand still I want more then anything to be able to breath !!!!!!!
Done
I'm done with this heartbreak I don't ever want to go through this again and it includes setting you free cause I finally see how you're not the one for me and I don't ever want to feel like I did this weekend. This is the last straw I'm not fragile no more I'm stronger then I ever have been and I just want to thank myself for not giving up on me because I'm great and everything I want myself to be !!! I will never scoop that low again !!!!
Moving on is tough but I'm tougher
Once again I'm caught. Lost it all without a fault. It was all me who did this. I never give myself time to heal. I'm broken but this time I am not lost. I know my faults and this time it wasn't me I was led on and held , with synthetic flowers and food coloring. Our love were roses, but I never tried to smell them to feel their authenticity.... I trusted your words and your love. It was true I thought but I was just a fool. Again and again in a trap. Just because I don't love myself enough. This time it'll be different. I won't let anyoneeee ever make me feel this way. It's about me and god this time. He's the only one I need. God is love 1john 3:8. I know this time I will be great, and I won't let the fake break through to my heart. #imwisernow