#jerkops

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 11 Page 87

Caption: One…

CERAH: Love!!!

Caption: Two…

CERAH: Not…!

Caption: Thunderpunch!

CERAH: …Hatred!

Caption: Paralyzed

DOGSON: Pant pant

DOGSON: For my love!

FERRAH: Uh… I think I left five bucks in my locker.

FERRAH: Later!

ROBBIE: Cera! That was amazing!

CERAH: I was just protecting my friends and family, baby bro.

ROBBIE: Still, you reacted more quick than I could. I love you, sis!

CERAH: I love you too!

Caption: Whoosh!

ROBBIE: Oh! My gosh!

CERAH: Ca ‘mon! Let me go!

The jerkop goes down in three easy panels, with Cerah using the Pokemon move Thunder Punch on him. Little Dogson, who apparently harbors some sort of feelings for Ferrah, also gives him a good kick. Ferrah bails, then Cerah and Robbie hug, but then Cerah, assumedly having gained enough experience points from taking down the jerkop to have leveled up, begins to evolve into a Rosechu.

Cerah commands Robbie to let her go, even though he clearly released her the second she flashed white.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 11 Page 86

FERRAH: I’m being bullied by the mean widdle kids; they teased me of my insecurities! Please, help me!

ROBBIE: Do not listen to him, sir! He’s the bully!

CERAH: Robert! Stop! There’s something off about that policeman. I sense it.

FERRAH: Hey! Jerk cop! Can’t ya hear me? I’m being bullied here!!

FERRAH: Well! There’s more than one way to get attention. Dogson! Ca m’ere!

DOGSON: Yes, sir! You called?

FERRAH: It’s time to play for our team, boy.

DOGSON: What?

DOGSON: !

STUDENTS: Oh! My gosh! / He kissed a boy! / But did he like it? / Soo going on my Facebook!

JERKOP: There will be no love in the world of Graduon, kid!

FERRAH: Woah, dude!

ROBBIE: Oh, man! A real Jerkop?! Here? Now?!

Dogson and Ferrah’s relationship might be a play on the relationship between Marcie and Peppermint Patty from Peanuts, Patty being aggressive and boyish while Marcie is demure and calls her “sir”, and the pair have long been speculated to be a couple or at least attracted to each other. Dogson’s name also might be a reference to his subservient, dog-like nature.

“Play for our team” is a variant on the phrase “playing for the other team”, a baseball-based metaphor referring to someone who is gay.

Two of the students loosely quote the chorus to “I Kissed a Girl” by Katy Perry, rephrasing it to be about male-male kissing instead of female-female. 

The policeman reveals himself to be a Jerkop (do they not teach the kids here that only black and blue are true, while all other colors are vice? Sounds like a terrible school.) and announces that “There will be no love in the world of Graduon, kid!”, even though Ferrah and Dogson are as far as we can tell not in love, Ferrah forced himself on Dogson. 

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 11 Page 85

SFX: Bonk

ROBBIE: Ow!

CERAH: Little bro, are you okay?

ROBBIE: Yeah, I think so. Oh. Not big Ferrah again.

CERAH: That bully?

ROBBIE: Yeah.

Caption? Sonichu?: Long story short, this bully has:

-No parents

-Lives with drunk uncle

-Hates on those he’s jealous of

-Does not really know how to speak love yet.

FERRAH: Look at the yellow rat scorin’ with the hot babes. And with her thick-headed Triceratops too. Give me your lunches, or I’ll pound all of ya!

CERAH OR ROBBIE: No!

CERAH OR ROBBIE: What a brute.

CERAH OR ROBBIE: We’re not gonna take your ‘tude.

CERAH OR ROBBIE: Love, not hate!

CERAH OR ROBBIE: Back off, bull!

FERRAH: Alright! Alright! What about you, tripping tea?

FERRAH: Ya gonna cough up your grub? Or maybe miss me with your weak zap? Ooh! Run away! I’ll catch ya after you trip and fall!

ROBBIE: Neee!

FERRAH: That all ya got, tea-zap? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

FERRAH: Ooh! And what are you gonna do, Triceratops?

ROBBIE: I’m not runnin’ jerk.

CERAH: Leave us alone, Ferrah!

FERRAH: Wowzer! Now it’s two against one? I am soo scared.

CERAH: Keep making fun of us and find out!

FERRAH: I’ve got an idea! I’ll even the odds.

FERRAH: Here’s a cop!

FERRAH: Yo! Mister Police man!

Enter Ferrah (who is a dude, even though I’ve never heard Ferrah or the more common Farrah as a boy’s name). He’s a bully. Something about Ferrah calls to mind Butch The Bully from the similar So Bad It’s Good masterpiece Cool Cat Saves the Kids, though the similarities are likely coinicidental as both characters are simply standard bully stereotypes.

Ferrah has a smidge of depth to him, or at least some nuance - he comes from a broken home and he’s acting out because he’s jealous of Robbie and Cerah being happy. That’s… good? I guess? He does still want lunch money, the stereotypical bully motivation.

Worth noting that Robbie throws the first punch in the sense that he shoots lightning at Ferrah before he gets violent with them. Sure, Ferrah antagonized him, but still.

Cerah is a good big sister, standing up for her baby brother. When she comes into the picture, Ferrah decides to “even the odds” by bringing in a police man. As you can well guess, because he is a police man in Sonichu, things aren’t going to go well.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 10 Page 73

SONICHU {thought}: Legendary Crystals, hear my call, as a child of electric energy, of all those that were brainwashed by Slaweel and Graduon, release them free of their control forever, and let them live free to love and feel love again. Chaotic control!

EX-JERKOP A: Where am I? Why am I wearing this outfit? The last thing I remember was sitting in a college classroom… 

EX-JERKOP B: Oh my God! What have we done?!

EX-JANEKOP: I’m so sorry!

VARIOUS EX-JERKOPS AND EX-JANEKOPS: *I gotta get home* *How long have I been out?* *This is not a college!*

SONICHU: And now, it’s up to Chris to clear the witch and the warlock.

Caption: Shortly later, at PVCCitizens… 

For Sonichu’s final act as Ultra Sonichu, he ascends atop a giant skyscraper (exactly which one we’re never told) and makes a telepathic speech. Presumably this is addressed to all of the jerkops and janekops of CWCville, but it might just be one final wish to the Sonichu Balls.

Sonichu wishes for all the jerkops and janekops Mary Lee and Graduon brainwashed to be freed from this hold, and the jerkops come to their senses, some while they are in the middle of the violent acts Mary Lee and Graduon forced them to commit. Note that this is literally the first time the idea that the jerkops were brainwashed has been suggested. Every appearance of the jerkops up to this point - their usage as mooks for Mary Lee and the Jerkief in the Classic Sonichu Strips and the Sub-Episodes, that massive battle between the PVCC’s jerkop squad and Chris’s true police squad in Sonichu 5, and their taking part in the battle in Sonichu 9 (where it’s explicitly stated that several jerkops succumbed to injuries sustained while fighting Sonichu and company) - apparently this entire time, they’ve not been morally reprehensible individuals working to the PVCC of their own free will, they’ve been people who were suckered in to signing up for classes at what appeared to be a community college, only to become brainwashed into servitude for Mary Lee and Graduon. At no point do Chris and Sonichu and the rest of their crew step back to acknowledge that they were maiming and killing innocents who, if they were in their right mind, wouldn’t be attacking people at all.

As the surviving former Jerkops and Janekops scurry on home, Sonichu returns to his natural form, his Ultra form never appearing again in the classic Sonichu comic, and only returning at all for a brief cameo in Sonichu 11 to display the effects of Sonichite. Sonichu’s line calling Mary Lee and Graduon respectively “the witch and the warlock” might be a reference to the Chronicles of Narnia book The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, but if it is it’s likely something Chris picked up solely through pop culture, as he doesn’t appear to have read the book.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 9 Page 45

PUNCHY: !

PUNCHY: Layla! Behind you!

LAYLA: !

Caption: Thunder!

LAYLA: Oh my God! Punchy, are you hurt?

PUNCHY: I’m okay. Wow! Good job!

Did you forget Layla was a Pokemon? I forgot Layla was a Pokemon.

She uses Thunder on the Janekop, I think, which I think obliterates everyone but her and Punchy to smithereens. (Well, there are a line of orange, yellow, and brown semi-circles at the top of the aftermath panel, which might be the tops of their heads, but we’re still not treated to much of what happened to them.) Punchy, presumably because he resists Electric attacks, is knocked to the ground but otherwise shakes off getting struck by lightning.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 9 Page 48

Wild appears on the scene to face down the army of jerkops, ready to use his tried and true Vine Whips. Before they can move a muscle, he wraps each and every one of them up in a giant Vine Whip and ties it up in a knot.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 9 Page 44

PUNCHY: Come on, Layla, we’ve got to quell these foes. Slaweel is making her big push, and we have to push back!

The next few pages are a mishmash of the fighting going on across CWCville, focusing on each of the relevant characters one at a time. We start with Punchy & Layla. Presumably out in front of their apartment, Punchy starts beating white-shirted Jerkops.

Layla just stands there like a moron, until Punchy tells her to stop being useless and actually help. In what has probably been the most direct attack from a female villain since Sonichu 5, a Janekop attempts to batter Layla’s lights out.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 7 Page 34

SONICHU: Let’s go back to our place and do our thang…

ROSECHU: Oh, yeah!

SONICHU: Oooh!... I love you Rosechu, and your seductive ways. You are the woman! We gotta stop by Wal-Mart on the way for a raincoat; the weather’s just right!

Caption: Meanwhile, at the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens, high school district *Sub-Episode 8*

A “raincoat”, as you may have guessed, is a euphemism for a condom; this is in fact not a complete CWC-ism but an actual archaic slang for condom, perhaps one Chris picked up from his parents or something they introduced him to.

I don’t really get why the hedgehogs would patronize Wal-Mart (or Mal-Wart, as the case may be) - first off, I’m assuming that the bans against Chris are equally applicable to his hedgehog crew since they are his creations, secondly, even if they’re not banned themselves I don’t see why Chris would approve of his ‘hogs patronizing a store that so cruelly banned him. I mean, Chris hasn’t been banned from 7-11 yet (knock on wood), why not go there instead?

That said though, the timing is perfect - I don’t think Chris meant to plan this out this way but B-Manajerk, Merried Seinor Comic, and W-M Manajerk are out tonight at Mary Lee’s, so assuming they didn’t leave a deputy in charge of virgin patrol that night then Sonichu and Rosechu can peruse around the Wal-Mart without any manajerk interference tonight.

Finally, we return to the high school district of the PVCC, again still presumably Manchester High. Recall that only about three hours ago Chris was there looking for the white Sonichu Ball. Don’t know why they didn’t interfere with him then, especially since at least some of these villains probably also have a vested interest in getting their grubby little hands on some Sonichu Balls too (my Godbear that sounded filthy).

I imagine the bottom third of the page was intended as a cinematic panning shot, spiralling up the staircase. Three of the four people guarding the staircase are our first glimpse at the female equivalent to the Jerkop, the Janekop. Aside from having prominent breasts and a slimmer figure, they don’t really differ from their male counterparts, having the same scowl and presumably the same distaste for frustrated virgin males.