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Jerky Snob

How about we take a break from sugar and chocolate and monkey faces and delve into another kind of snack. Jerky! I have a box here from Jerky Snob, which is a company I've ordered from before, and very much like. Same deal as other box services. You sign up, and then you get a box of various jerkies from all kinds of jerky companies. There are way more people/companies out there making jerky than I ever could have imagined. This box is the full pound box. Jerky Snob also offers a half pound box, and you can choose a combo of hot and mild flavors, or just mild, and you can let them know if you have any allergies as well. Since I'm a dandy-lion when it comes to spicy things, I went with only mild flavors. In the box were eight (!) bags of jerky, each one from a different company. Most of these are beef, but one is bison! In other boxes, I have also received pork and turkey jerky, and although I haven't tried them, there are boxes that cater to a more broader experience jerky like alligator and things of the like. If you like "regular" jerky and want to see what's out there, you absolutely can't go wrong with trying the Jerky Snob service. I'm writing this on a very rainy (my favorite kind, though) day with nothing else to do. Let's see if I can get some meat sweats going! Gross. Garlic Ginger beef jerky by Tasting Kitchen. Non-resealable bag. Boo. The smell is pleasant enough, assuming one likes garlic and ginger. Not overpowering, but clear notes on each. I'm trying to recall a time when I've had garlic and ginger meshed together, and I don't think I have. The jerky is very dark in color and sesame seeds are sticking to it as well. Texture wise, it's right in the middle. I've had tougher, and I've had softer, although this one seems a bit more "stringy." Like maybe it's a cheaper meat. Or something. I prefer the softer jerkies, and the stringiness of this one kind of leaves a weird feeling in my mouth. Taste wise it's not too bad. There's a slightly sweet ginger tone whilst chewing and the garlic really comes into play in the aftertaste, but at an appropriate level, so you know it's there. It's very similar to your regular teriyaki jerky flavors, but the garlic/ginger has been kicked up just enough to slightly set it apart. In a blind taste test, I think most people would just say teriyaki, though. It was good, but the stringy part about it keeps it down on my list a bit. Here's the bison jerky! From a company called Kiva Sun, which is a Native American company. That may not be relevant, but it's on the bag so I'm filling you in. Each bag sold also garners a donation for health education within the Native American community. This bison jerky is a hatch chile flavor, which is a chile grown in the Hatch Valley region of New Mexico. Resealable bag! Alright. This has an amazingly great smell to it. It's like a slow roasted barbecue kind of thing with an obvious spice mixture that indicates it's not your normal barbecue. Even that barely addresses just how great the smell is. A very tender jerky, too, so I'm loving that. A nice brown/red color. This is very good jerky. Tender, juicy, great flavor, just enough of the chile presence. Even if this were a more spicy version, I think I would like it because it's just so good all around. I have never had bison jerky before, but if this is any indication of how they turn out, I'm on board. Because of the chili flavoring, though, I can't exactly pin point what bison on its own tastes like. It seems like it may be the best piece of steak you've ever had, though, if you need a mental cue. Do places sell bison steaks? Now I'm curious. I'm sorry you're so delicious, animals. I truly feel guilt, I do. But moving on... Ginger Orange beef jerky from Think Jerky. Crafted by Michelin starred, James Beard award winning author, mom, and television personality Gale Gand. Cool resume, but I have no idea who she is, and I watch A LOT of food shows/channels. How have I not seen her? Anyway, another non-resealable bag. This is unacceptable! Jerkies need resealable bags. Except for a slightly less dark color, this jerky looks like the garlic and ginger jerky from earlier, complete with sesame seeds. It's a little moister than that one, too. Again, it smells like a teriyaki jerky, too. However... the addition of the orange to this one is not at all pleasant. I think I just learned that I should never eat ginger and orange together. This is sour and acrid and I immediately opened a can of Coke to wash away the flavor. Maybe there are people who would like this, but I am not one. You may be a lovely lady Gale Gand, I don't know, but please stick to other food. I don't think jerky is your forte. Uncle Andy's Tex's Tangy BBQ Beef Jerky. Tex seems to be Uncle Andy's mascot. Other available flavors include Bandito Loco Spicy Coffee, Southern Gent Lemon Mint and Lumberjack Maple Bourbon. Sounds interesting. Uncle Andy seems intent on pushing jerky boundaries. How is his regular barbecue jerky, though? Well, he first had the sense to make the bag resealable. :) This is a very dry jerky, it looks like pieces of broken chocolate that have aerated a bit. It's very tough and will definitely give your jaw a workout. I imagine it's pretty close to how jerky used to be way back when. There really isn't a barbecue flavor at all. I pick up what seems to be simple black pepper, though. Despite it's toughness and lack of promised flavor, I kind of like this one. As a straight forward piece of peppered jerky (which is what I decided it is) it works. All the other ones I tried so far have been marked to pass along to friends, but this is one I'll keep and finish for myself. Oh! Well lo and behold. I should pay better attention. I didn't notice at first, but also in this box is another Uncle Andy jerky. This is the Lumberjack Maple Bourbon beef jerky. I'll be. Let's see if Uncle Andy can go for a two in a row win here. Resealable bag, check. Oh my. Holy wonder bread does this bag smell like liquor when opened. Like I spilled a double shot of booze into the bag. The smell is STRONG. It has a cheap booze and smoky flavor as well with the very faintest sweet maple kick. There was a moment when I thought the aftertaste was kind of like bacon, but then it went away and wasn't there on the second, small piece I tried. Not as tough as the Tex's BBQ one, but not exactly moist either. This is an odd one. I don't think I like it too much, but I also can't outright condemn it. It's definitely interesting. It would probably behoove one to already be a little sauced when eating this one. I think I will pass this one along, but mainly because I'm very curious to hear other people's take on it. Golden Valley Natural Bar-B-Que Organic Beef Jerky. Big pieces in this re-sealable (!) bag. Firm, but just enough moistness to it to keep it from being too dry. This one isn't too bad, but nothing exceptional. A very light barbecue flavoring that I'm not sure I would immediately detect were it not printed on the bag. The odd thing with this one, though, is even though the bag is careful to remind me about eight different ways how natural this beef jerky is, it's hankered with a sort of processed, cheapness quality to it. If you were absolutely craving jerky and this was all that was on hand at the convenience store you stopped off at, it would suffice. It's altogether forgettable and rudimentary standing on its own merits, though. True Gentlemen's Peppered Beef Jerky. This one comes in strips, as opposed to flattened pieces, and the bag is thankfully re-sealable. Yes, it's a big deal and will be mentioned with each bag! Again, it veers more towards the rough side of jerky texture, but there's just enough moistness to it to keep it from wearing out your jaw. A very high pepper content, which for me, is just fine. Black pepper is just about the only spice I truly love, and I put it on most everything I eat. This jerky definitely gets a pass from me. It may be too peppery for some palates. Another simple and to the point jerky, which seems to be what my taste buds prefer when it come to jerky. I'm going to cheat a little bit on this last jerky. By that I mean I'm not going to review it. It's Aloha Teriyaki Beef Jerky by Lawless Jerky. Nothing against Lawless at all, but I just cant muster the interest for opening another Asian inspired jerky right now. I just can't. The bag is re-sealable, so I'll just give it a blanket pass. Well, I didn't get any meat sweats. but I am angrily full on jerky now. Come to me, my couch, let me nap off this jerky drunk. Happy meating, everyone!

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