I’m leaving to go to work today. There’s a commuter parking lot by my building that has a small roadway that residents will cut through to get to the on ramp for the highway. First, let me say that the commuters around the city I live in are rude and shitty. They dump their car garbage on the streets, they give no fucks for the people around here who actually live here. My city is merely a way station for them to get to the path train so they can get to their shitty capitalist cubicle job in NYC. (He’s got Massachusetts plates, btw)
So anywho, I’m cutting through the lot and some bro almost plows into me head on. Doesn’t even look at me, just continues on. I look at my clock...I’ve got ten minutes extra to get to my shift, so I flip a u turn and angle my car right by his driver side door. He’s trying to ignore me while he puts on his slave costume (a suit blazer). But I know my glare is boring into him.
Finally he gets out and I roll down my window and I’m like...’what the fuck?’ He responds ‘you’re a shitty driver’
I’m like...are you fucking kidding me? You nearly plowed into me head on, on the WRONG SIDE OF ME. And I LIVE HERE. And residents are TIRED OF COMMUTERS. He shrugs and keeps walking. So, in true Jersey fashion, I step the fuck out of my car and hock the biggest loogie up that I can (it’s helpful that the summer has my asthma all riled up) and spit it all over his driver door handle. It makes a wonderful pattern, spraying over the door and window. Bro turns around and walks back to his car as I get back into mine and I hear him say ‘what the FUCK?’
I laugh uproariously and say, ‘WELCOME TO NEW JERSEY MUTHAFUCKA!’ He responds with the ever wonderful, ‘you stupid fat bitch’
By now, other people are walking through the lot on their way to the train station and now staring while I point at him and address them. ‘You guys! He called me a fat bitch!! I’m so amazed at his clever comeback! I’ve NEVER heard of a wordsmith so WISE and WITTY! Never in my LIFE! Have I been called FAT or a BITCH!!’
The dude is now so embarrassed because people are staring at HIM that he’s quickly trying to scoot out of the lot.
And THAT, my friends, is why you don’t fuck around with Jersey girls. We will call you out unabashedly and we will embarrass you. AND, if need be, we will slash your fucking tires!
Warnings: Swearing, anxiety, guns (well, sort of, not really)
“See you never.”
5:03 pm - I wasn’t sure if you were being serious
5:03 pm - But if you really wanted to hang out with us we could show you around later
Nico sent the text the afternoon after the whole parlor incident. After clicking send he promptly chucked his phone across the room.
“Pathetic.” Percy tutted, not looking up from his laptop.
“Shut up.” Nico groaned, his face buried in a pillow. “You sure I wasn't being awkward?”
“Positive.” He insisted. “Why are you freaking out, anyway? He's just some random guy from Texas or some shit like that.”
“I'm always freaking out.” Nico commented. “I just don't like making people feel uncomfortable by saying something awkward. I mean, what if he thinks I'm weird or something?”
“You are weird, Neeks.” Percy pointed out. Nico pouted and glared at him, making Percy laugh. “Chill, dude. No one thinks about it that much.”
“I do.”
“You're overthinking it.” He said. “Anyone stupid enough to cut you off because of an even
remotely awkward text isn't worth your time.” Nico sat up and glared at his phone from across the room childishly. He basically froze when it dinged. He just stared at it for a moment.
“Staring at it isn't gonna make it go away, Nico, just fucking read it, you child.” Percy groaned.
“Fuck off, dick.” Nico muttered, before grabbing his phone and unlocking it, not even looking at the notification.
5:10 pm - I’d like that
5:12 pm - Ok, great! Maybe we could all meet at like 5:30 later? Outside of the ice cream parlor?
5:13 pm - Sounds good see you guys there
“Good?” Percy asked.
“Good.” Nico sighed, pocketing his phone. “Now come on, we're all meeting Will by the ice cream parlor.”
“Alright.” Percy laughed, grabbing his backpack and following Nico out of the room.
~+~+~
“This place is actually cooler than I thought it’d be.” Will said as they all walked down the boardwalk.
“Yeah, Jersey sometimes get a bad rep, but we're alright, I guess.” Jason laughed.
“Arcade!” Hazel shouted, pointing out the building with shining neon lights. “Anyone up for some laser tag?”
“Hazel,” Jason said in his typical mom voice.
“C’mon, it’ll be fun.” She goaded. He rolled his eyes and she took that as agreement, bolting inside, Nico not far behind.
“Can we get spots for the next available game?” Nico asked the guy behind the counter, who Nico recognized to be Chiron.
“Of course, Nico.” Chiron said, smiling. “So it’s six of you like usual?”
“Nah, we’ve got eight today.” Hazel said.
“Alright, that’s $72.”
“And with our special discount?” Percy stage whispered.
“$50.” Chiron said, with an amused eye roll.
“Cough it up, Thalia.” Annabeth said.
“What do you mean ‘cough it up’? I’m not paying?!” Thalia insisted.
“You're ‘Ms. Adult’, pay up.” Jason prodded his sister, who huffed and dug a wallet out of her jacket pocket and dropped a fifty dollar bill on the counter.
“Next game is in 20 minutes.” Chiron said. They all nodded and wandered off, each landing on a different arcade game, Nico landing on Skee Ball.
“‘Special discount’?” Will asked him.
“Our dads went to college with him. He’s a family friend so he never puts the price over $50.” Nico explained.
“That’s cool.” Will said.
“Yep. The Kronos brothers and their friends.” Nico said mockingly.
“Kronos?”
“Their last name. My dad and uncles changed theirs when they got married. My grandfather was not a good man.” Nico said.
“Ah…” Will muttered. There was a short silence before Will spoke again. “You suck at this don’t you?”
“And you could do better?” Nico glared.
“Much.” Will said confidently. He took a couple of quarters out of his pocket and popped them into the machine next to Nico. He swung his arm back and rolled the ball up the lane, landing in the 200 hole.
“Lucky roll.” Nico mumbled. They kept playing, Nico resulting with more tickets, after having played more rounds.
“Guys, c’mon, they game is starting.” Nico shoved their tickets in Percy’s backpack before meeting everyone by the door.
“Blue team.” Chiron said, handing a vest and a laser gun to Annabeth.
“Red team.” He said to Jason.
“Blue.” Percy.
“Red.” Thalia.
“Blue.” Nico.
“Red.” Hazel.
“Blue.” Will. Chiron smiled at the group as they entered. “Enjoy the game.”
Nico didn’t factor in the fact that Will wasn’t used to his friends when they entered the game. It wasn’t a game to them. They’d played with the same team every summer for the past few years, and Nico’s team, the Blue Team, had lost their four year winning streak two years earlier and hadn’t yet regained it. They went all out in these games, typically teaming up to get out the entire yellow team (strangers playing the game) before starting out their tournament.
Not long into the game, Nico found himself meeting Will crouched behind a short wall.
“You having fun?” Nico asked quietly, slightly out of breath from running and ducking.
“Lots.” Will smirked. “I’ve never played with anyone so… into the game.”
“Sorry, I should’ve warned you. We do this whole like tournament thing and it’s weird and overly enthusiastic--”
“Don’t worry about it. This is fun.” Will muttered before standing and turning to aim and shoot. Nico ducked down and moved behind another wall. He could see Jason trying to hide behind a wall not too far away, but he was turned in a way that he couldn’t see Nico. He was whispering to Thalia, who was ducked behind a short wall so only her gun and head were visible.
“Will.” Nico whispered. When the blonde looked over, Nico jabbed his head in the direction of them two and then pointing to some open space in front of Thalia, but out of Jason’s range. Will looked, before locking eyes with Nico and nodding.
Will ran out, gun blazing, in front of Thalia, who started to fire, but Will ducked behind a wall. Meanwhile Nico snuck behind another wall even closer to the Grace siblings. If Jason just moved out the slightest bit more they could get him. Thalia stood up, trying to get a different angle to shoot him but instead Nico took the shot and she was out.
“GOD-- FUCK!” She shouted. Nico stepped out gun in hand, and when Jason moved to aim at him, Will popped up and shot him. Percy and Annabeth then ran out from where they hid. They were all ready to say the game was finished until Percy was shot square in the chest, making Nico, Will, and Annabeth crouch on reflex. Annabeth grabbed her gun and shot rapidly at the source, hitting Hazel immediately.
“Dammit!” She stomped. Percy and Annabeth cheered, high fived with both hands, and Will and Nico high fived for just a second longer than normal before blushing and looking away from each other.
“You two,” Jason said, gesturing to Will and Nico, “are never allowed on the same team again.”
They all spent the next couple hours wandering down the boardwalk, getting popcorn and ice cream, and wasting money on stupid games, like the balloon popping one that Will won or the water gun one that Percy won. They finally stopped down at the beach, barefooted and playing soccer.
“Nico heads up!” Jason shouted, passing it to Nico, who shot it past Will, the other team’s goalie, meaning he’d scored. They cheered, jumping and kicking the sand around. Will took a seat in the sand, staring at the shoreline. Nico sat beside him, with some space between them.
“Something wrong?” Nico asked.
“Nah, it’s just... “ Will said, his eyes never leaving the horizon. The sun was just starting to set, making the sky turn a light purple that was reflected on the ocean water. The sun looked like it was just barely kissing the water, and seemed to have a warm red and orange halo surrounding it. The clouds just seemed to be blotted against the colors, almost blending in with the sky they hid behind them, “I never thought Jersey could be so pretty.”
“Yeah…” Nico smiled. “New Jersey has never really been anything special, but it’s home, and it feels and looks like it.”
There was quiet, the only sounds being the shifting water and the sea gulls swooping and calling overhead. This short but sweet silence was broken by a splash in the water.
“Percy!” Annabeth shouted, Percy had pushed her in, and was standing at the edge of the water, with only his feet submerged. She glared and pulled him down by the hand. Jason, Thalia, and Hazel all ran in to join them, splashing each other with water.
“C’mon.” Will laughed, grabbing Nico by the wrist and dragging him along. Nico tried to plant his feet in the sand, but just slipped and was pulled into the water. Nico splashed water at him, making him recoil, laughing. Will splashed back, soaking Nico’s face and hair in seawater. They kept splashing each other like children until Jason made them all leave. They ended up having to buy beach towels from a boardwalk vendor to dry of the cold ocean water.
Jason offered to drive Will back to where he was staying, but Nico walked him to the door.
“So…” Nico started, holding his towel snuggly around his shoulders, “how you liking Jersey so far?”
“Its… interesting.” Will smiled.
“You think you’re going to stay?” Nico asked, trying to keep the hope from being too apparent in his voice.
“I think I just might.” Will said, holding his hands behind his back and rocking back and forth. “No promises though. I’ve only been here a few days.”
So after thinking about it for a while, I finally took the plunge and set up a GoFundMe for my trip to New Jersey. Please check it out, share it, or even donate! Every dollar will mean the world to me and will bring me one step closer to seeing my mom, grandma, and other relatives again. https://www.gofundme.com/2fdzd9ar Please reblog this!! Thanks again, cuties!
so many places by me back home got looted by the drug addicted trash that live there. and people wonder why I kept joking that I'd stay out here forever. I really don't want to go back.
· Whenever someone sleeps in bed with me, i subconsciously roll them onto the floor in my sleep. I hate human contact.
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o 14 people like this.
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Jonathan Goldman High five.
about an hour ago · Like
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Sour Dee Hahahahha I ♥ this status
about an hour ago via mobile · Like · 1
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Matthew Polishak This is probably true, you only enjoy cumshots but the freaks you bang aren't even of the same species.
about an hour ago · Like · 2
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Matthew Golin-qvist ROFL @ Matthew
about an hour ago · Like
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Abbot Mabus You consciously roll them on to the floor. The subconscious is an abstraction of conscious actions, therefore it cannot produce any action. Sadly there is a problem with people understanding the fucking difference.
53 minutes ago · Like
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Mike Aminoff So i subconsciously roll them on to the floor.
51 minutes ago via mobile · Like
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Abbot Mabus You is a baby.
51 minutes ago · Like
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Mike Aminoff *You ARE a baby. Idiot.
50 minutes ago via mobile · Like · 1
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Abbot Mabus No, vernacular doesn't call for conjugation.
50 minutes ago · Like
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Abbot Mabus I think that is the point, that it is outside of any set rules. See, if you wish to apply grammar rules, you have to accept the constructs of analysis.
49 minutes ago · Like
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Abbot Mabus We are agreed.
49 minutes ago · Like
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Mike Aminoff i'm not impressed. Or in agreement.
47 minutes ago via mobile · Like
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Abbot Mabus I don't want to make an impression, I'd just prefer that you understand what a conscious action is versus the aggregate that makes up your subconscious.
46 minutes ago · Like
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Mike Aminoff Subconscious Adjective: Of or concerning the part of the mind of which one is not fully aware but which influences one's actions and feelings.
44 minutes ago via mobile · Like
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Abbot Mabus You have provided a definition.
43 minutes ago · Like
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Abbot Mabus The problem is that you don't understand it.
43 minutes ago · Like
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Mike Aminoff K bye
43 minutes ago via mobile · Like · 2
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Abbot Mabus The subconscious is on a continuum. One is not fully aware because actions build in great numbers, the conclusion is that all actions have influence on every subsequent action. You're welcome.
41 minutes ago · Like
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Matthew Polishak Here we see how a vocabulary doesn't mean you're educated.
41 minutes ago · Like · 1
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Abbot Mabus Here we see someone that doesn't know what an education is.
40 minutes ago · Like
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Mike Aminoff I'm still going to use subconscious the same way i've always been using it...the same way everyone else in the world interprets it. Not your stupid version.
39 minutes ago via mobile · Like · 1
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Abbot Mabus Sure, you are certainly welcome to. And it is stupid, because stupidity is socially constructed.
38 minutes ago · Like
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Abbot Mabus Your complete resistance to it will not really matter, because my guess is your work will never lead to some breakthrough in thinking. Just go to the beach and go shopping, it makes the world a great place.
37 minutes ago · Like
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Mike Aminoff Yah. So you're stupid. We are in agreement. You're welcome.
37 minutes ago via mobile · Like
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Abbot Mabus Yes, among your social circle, which is limited.
36 minutes ago · Like
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Matthew Polishak Oh God, what a try hard foreigner. I can only imagine why you're so invested in this conversation. Did your parents whip you for getting an "A-"|, or were you just some social outcast who spent all his spare periods in the bathroom eating alone contemplating what's wrong with the first world? Get bent.
36 minutes ago · Like · 2
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Abbot Mabus I am unsure if your first clause is an attempt at a coherent sentence. My investment in every conversation is just that, an effort to seek clarity. It isn't awful for me because I don't mind using my fingers to compose the written word. While my parents didn't beat me, they did not stop me from throwing fun parties and pissing on lowly assholes.
34 minutes ago · Like
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Matthew Polishak Autism, this is clearly autism.
33 minutes ago · Like
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Abbot Mabus This from a man that doesn't know what autism is.
32 minutes ago · Like
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Matthew Polishak I'm saying that you're developmentally challenged because you're clearly not socializing well on a social media website.
31 minutes ago · Like
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Abbot Mabus Gosh, I am sure at every instance you are parading your joke of a self as anti bullying, yet you disparage a person being alone, it is sort of tragic and validates every other bully. I merely participated in social networking by responding to a comment. You are attempting to bully me, because you want attention, and you can't because my dick is huge and my ego is even bigger.
29 minutes ago · Like
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Matthew Polishak >Tries to convince people of sophistication.
>>Claims penis is large.
>>>Pretends to be a worthy member of society.
Baha.
28 minutes ago · Like · 1
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Abbot Mabus I did not claim to be a worthy member of society, though I am civil. My dick is huge, claiming such isn't sophistication, just a reality.
27 minutes ago · Like
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Mike Aminoff Trying to "educate" people that are of equal intelligence doesn't gain you friends... Try preaching your wise words to the autistic. Or mentally retarded.
24 minutes ago via mobile · Like
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Abbot Mabus I am not educating you, that takes a curriculum, appropriate pedagogy, etc. Also, the time and effort to work toward any education offered. For the love of Christ, I merely wanted to clarify usage.
22 minutes ago · Like
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Mike Aminoff Calm down. We just like to pick on brown people.
18 minutes ago via mobile · Like · 1
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Matthew Polishak Learn your place, scrub.
"I cannot learn my place as the curriculum of social construct is objective at best!"
-Says local man with "big" penis.
16 minutes ago · Like · 1
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Abbot Mabus Oh dear, the last stronghold of the weak; bring about the brilliance that is bigotry. I am not brown, comparing photos I am about ten shades lighter than you. I do tan, in NYC, not some dirt town in Jersey.
13 minutes ago · Like
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Abbot Mabus And if you'd like me to learn my place, please tell me when I am at any nightclub in NYC. Most of the time I am coked out of my mind, but I enjoy attempts that relate to making me know my place.
12 minutes ago · Like
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Matthew Polishak "I am not brown!"
-Claims Abbot Mabus-Abdul Jafar.
11 minutes ago · Like · 1
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Abbot Mabus I don't mind the association. You can call me an African desert cleaner, it doesn't change who I am. When you are so pathetic and useless, and your only claim to self esteem is to a blood line that is entirely detached from your non work or success, it is rather tragic. So, like the trailer trash that says his great, great, great grand pappy was a general in the confederacy, it doesn't remove his mindlessness.
