#jeub

[fruitfulandmultiplied]

Jeub family [FUNDIE]

Christopher B. Jeub - born February, 1970

Wendy C. (Larson) Jeub - born 7th February, 1968

Chris and Wendy married on the 20th April, 1991. They share 14 children (with 3 reposed in Christ), 7 children-in-law, and 14 grandchildren (with 1 reposed in Christ and 1 unborn). Wendy has 2 children, 2 children-in-law, and 4 grandchildren from a previous relationship.

Alicia Ann Welch - born 1983 - Wendy's daughter, adopted by Chris; married to Josh Welch with 3 children

Alissa Amber Akkad - born 29th March, 1986 - Wendy's daughter, adopted by Chris; married to Asaad Akkad with 1 child

Artemis Evren Stardust - born 17th July, 1992 - born Cynthia Judith Jeub; engaged to Ryann Beaufort

Lydia Rosella Jeub - born 21st June, 1994 - separated from Skip Patterson with 2 children

Isaiah Christopher Jeub - born 23rd March, 1996 - married to Bree Harrington with 3 children

Baby Jeub - miscarried

6. Micah Charles Jeub - born 12th July, 1997 - married to Kya Connolly with 3 children (and 1 unborn)

7. Noah Alexander Jeub - born 20th August, 1998 - married to Christine Moore with 3 children

8. Tabitha Sleeger - born 24th February, 2000 - married to Nathan Sleeger with 1 child

9. Keilah Faith Kopriva - born 19th April, 2001 - married to William Kopriva with 2 children

10. Hannah Joy Jeub - born 10th August, 2002 - divorced from Kurt Canales

11. Josiah Jeub - born 24th May, 2004

12. Havilah Jeub - born 23rd October, 2005 - twin to Joshua

13. Joshua Jeub - born 23rd October, 2005 - twin to Havilah; engaged to Lola

14. Priscilla Jeub - born 19th November, 2007

15. Zechariah Jeub - born 15th March, 2009

16. Elijah Jeub - born 27th April, 2011

Ezra Mark Jeub - miscarried late 2013

Baby Jeub - miscarried 29th September, 2015

Alicia married Josh Welch on the 26th August, 2018.

Alissa married Asaad Akkad - born 25th May, 1985 - on the 31st December, 2012. They share 1 child.

Boy Akkad - born 12th February

Artemis is engaged to Ryann Beaufort.

Lydia married Skip Patterson in September, 2016. They share 2 children and custody of Skip's teenage niece and nephew. They appear to be separated.

Skipper Patterson - born 2016

Rosella Patterson - born 2018

Isaiah married Brianna Christine Harrington - born 4th April, 1999 - on the 14th July, 2019. They share 3 children (with 1 child reposed in Christ).

Atlas Isaiah Jeub - born 28th July, 2020

Baby Jeub - miscarried

2. Lochlan Karey Jeub - born 31st August, 2022

3. Astoria Jeub - born February, 2024

Micah married Kya Connolly - born 14th June, 2000 - on the 31st August, 2019. They share 3 children (with 1 unborn).

Hermione Kya Jeub - born 2nd April, 2020

Damon Micah Jeub - born 8th December, 2021

Elena Lila Jeub - born 8th April, 2024

Baby girl Jeub - due March, 2026

Noah married Christine Moore - born 18th September, 1998 - on the 28th July, 2018. They share 3 children (with 3 reposed in Christ).

Malikai Noah Jeub - born 17th December, 2018

Baby Jeub - miscarried

Baby Jeub - miscarried

Baby Jeub - miscarried

2. Caspian Travon Jeub - born 14th October, 2020

3. Zendaya Rain Jeub - born 24th January, 2023

Tabitha married Nathan James Sleeger on the 1st August, 2020. They share 1 child.

Girl Sleeger - born 2023-2024

Keilah married William Joseph Kopriva on the 22nd February, 2022. They share 2 children.

Girl Kopriva - born Autumn, 2023 (Spring in N. Hem)

Boy Kopriva - born September, 2024

Hannah married Kurt Canales but they have since divorced.

Joshua is engaged to a woman named Lola.

[glassslippers-and-tinywhiskers]

‘I’m Sorry You Lost Your Kids.’

By Cynthia | October 24, 2014

36 Comments

“On prie pour sauver les apparences (To save someone from losing his appearance) Par moment oublier toutes les distances (In this moment you have to let go of all the distances) Sans répit je pense et les silences (Without a break I think, and all the silence) Dissimulent la souffrance de vos absences (The hidden pain of your disappearance) …I just feel no joy Far away from love, From my baby boy” -Nâdiya

Trigger warning: child abuse

“Soap in my eyes! Soap in my eyes!”

“Hold still, baby, I’ll help.” I carefully rinsed my hands in the bathwater so I wasn’t adding more soap to my brother’s face. I gently pressed my thumbs across his eyelids, removing the extra liquid on them. We could fit up to five children into my parents’ Jacuzzi tub at once, and I wanted to bathe them gently.

I remembered being a child and I disliked how wiping my eyes with a towel didn’t always work. This solution made my little siblings calm down, and it minimized the pain of soap in the eyes.

When I was a child, my mother would warn us to be extra careful while in the bath, because if we were disobedient, we’d get spanked. Spankings on bare skin, while wet, were the most painful of all. It was hard to tell when our bath time playing would make mom or dad decide to spank us.

I was allowed to spank my little brothers and sisters, but I could never bring myself to hit them while they were in the bathtub. It was too painful for me, and I remembered what it felt like.

These days, I drive past my parents’ house and there’s a dull ache in me. Those kids were mine. I raised them, and I can’t see them. Sure, I could drop in uninvited, but it would do no good. My little brothers and sisters have been trained to distrust and hate me, just as I was taught to hate my older sisters.

It’s like I’ve lost custody of my kids, except I was the better parent, and the court never asked about my rights. Also the parents who got to keep my kids are abusive, and they tell lies about me.

I used to read about big families and how the older kids raised the younger kids, and I thought it was all nonsense. Of course I changed diapers, and of course I spent half my time babysitting. That was just life in a big family. People on the outside wouldn’t understand that we all felt like mom gave us individual attention, the dynamic just looked a little different.

Now I remember with more perspective. I know how ignored we were. I know I did more work than my parents, both around the house and in the office working on the family business. I’ll always have back pain because I learned to carry children on my hips before I properly had hips. I’ll always have memories of getting up in the middle of the night to take care of a sick or restless toddler.

Part of me doesn’t resent all that. How can I, without wondering which of my siblings I would have given up, and knowing I love them all? I know kids are smart because I taught my siblings how to handle the things I didn’t know how to deal with. I know kids respond well to kindness, because I was kind to them.

I wasn’t always kind to them. I had a temper when I was a young teenager, and got angry and would lash out at my little brothers and sisters. I was bigger than my brothers then, and could wrestle them to the ground and smack and hit and punch. With my more sensitive smaller sisters, I could make them cry with my words.

I hated how it felt to hurt other people, so I stopped. I chose, instead, never to get angry. When a conflict came up, I’d hide my feelings from myself, so as not to hurt anyone. I learned to dissolve conflicts by making everyone cheer up, helping everyone be as happy as I was. That’s how I managed to be gentle and cheerful: I forced myself to do it.

So I exchange stories with other people who’ve also lost their surrogate kids, and we help each other cope.

One friend said her siblings are always asking when she’ll be coming back, they don’t understand that she moved away from her parents for her own mental health. Another friend told me she can’t tell her little siblings about how she’s happily partnered with a girl, because her parents believe that being gay is a sin. She wrote in an email, “When I first came out, everyone tried to manipulate me into staying by using my kids as pawns. They knew that it was the only thing that would make me pause. It was brutal. Even now, a year later, the pain is still fresh from leaving them.”

We are invisible mothers, and our children will never be ours. We will wait years to restore our relationships, if they will ever be restored.

In memory of my siblings, of the pain I inflicted upon them, and the love I know they can’t reciprocate because they think I’m insane and I’m a bad influence, I write to help others.

Because there are countless young people who distrust their older siblings, believing lies their parents tell them daily. There are countless surrogate mothers who have no voice, no way to get their kids into a better situation.

We write to each other and exchange stories about our little siblings. How we found ways to be gentler than our parents. How we know each of our siblings’ individual struggles and needs and interests.

We say, “I’m sorry you lost your kids. I understand. I lost mine, too.”

[amtep]

"I'm starting to think emotional stability might be a myth, and a futile pursuit."