❝ i want to deserve you. i’m trying to deserve you. ❞
Angst polycule situation when Four still doesn’t remember what they did or why everyone hates them now.
“What… what on earth happened?” Zero’s voice was so full of disbelief and confusion, you physically cringed. You’ve seen them broken, you’ve seen them working, but this was something else.
You almost felt like a child caught by the parent, doing something you shouldn’t have.
Your hands dripped red, soaking through the bandages, and your muscles ached—skin burning, droplets of sweat running down your spine.
“Kurwa,” One’s voice sounded as if they were behind a glass wall, “you bloody idiot, the fuck you did this for? I swear I’ll tie you to that cot—“
“One.” Three’s stern tone cut them off, before they could continue. Your head was pounding, and there was a familiar, constant and stabbing pain behind your eyes. You were exhausted, but you refused to move—rooted in your place.
You could see everyone staring at you, with a variety of reactions. Zero was worried, as always. One was furious—nothing new. Three seemed annoyed, disappointed. And Five… they just seemed like they’ve seen the exact same image of you before.
“You should be resting, Four. You’re still recovering,” Five’s gentle voice soothed your racing thoughts, although it was hard to understand them through the buzzing sound ringing in your ears.
One shook their head, making a step towards you. You noticed a first aid kit in their hands. “Stupid idiot, why would you do something like that,” they muttered. Something snapped inside you.
“I want to deserve you.” You blurted out, startling everyone. Zero and Five exchanged worried glances, while Three was still processing what you just said. One was the only person who’s expression barely changed. They still looked angry… but also scared. Why would they be scared? “I’m trying to deserve you.” You reiterated, your gaze dropping to the floor.
You knew you hurt all of them at some point—before you lost your memories. Even if Zero and Five seemed to have forgiven you, and Three and One moved past it with time, you felt that you’ve done nothing to deserve their loyalty, love or affection. How could you, when you couldn’t even honestly apologize for your misdeeds?
“Hey, dummy,” One’s gloved hands gently slapped your face, forcing you to look at them. It was more a brush, truly, yet the sudden contact made you react instantly. “You deserve us already.” There was raw conviction in their voice and it made your knees weak. As if held up tension suddenly left your body.
Three moved closer, carefully observing your damaged hands. “You know it’s true, One wouldn’t lie to make you feel better and you know it.” Fair point.
You could see Five moving in the background, shooting you quick glances. There was a bowl of water in their hands, and a clean towel.
“You don’t have to deserve someone’s affection, Four. Just… be.” Zero’s warm smile forced your own lips to mimic the expression.
Maybe they were right. Maybe.
