one month: dates like twice a week! you take turns planning them ehehehehe just two silly girls who recently discovered their attraction is mutual. the first month isn’t anything special, it’s just you guys exploring the relationship slowly
one year: the initial high of being in a relationship passed so your dates are more like twice a month, but those are the ‘formal’ dates—to the movies or fancy restaurant outing. you go to her dorm almost every day, and she loves to sleep over at your apartament too! you spend so much time together the other girls start wondering if you can be physically separated
pham hanni | 🐰
one month: first month dating hanni is a little chaotic. she’s very much smitten, don’t get me wrong, but also hanni keeps you at arms length kinda? she tells you little bits of her day when you guys text, so very often. most of you dates are going to the cinema to watch a marvel movie/watching a marvel movie at your place
one year: so you don’t get any free time now. hanni is a big oversharer (check my alphabet for that lol) so you get updates from her every 30 second you’re away. as your relationship progresses, her fame does too and it gets harder to sneak out together. when you’re both very smitten and very in love, you keep a couple sets of changes of clothes at the nj dorm (bc hanni’s stuff is too small lol she’s short) so you stay there for a couple days sometimes
mo jihye | 🐶
one month: sunshine, she’s like a lovesick puppy the moment you guys arrange the first date. your relationship is still ver fresh, but she takes it as slow as you both need, while still being all lovely dovely. you definitely get “good morning/good night, baby 🩷🩷” messages every day.
one year: you’re glued at the hip 🎄 danielle refuses to go anywhere without you (unless it’s like REALLY mandatory). half of your clothes are in her closet because 1) “i wanna wear your clothes bc they make me think of you 🥺”; 2) you’re more often at her dorm than at your own apartment, just move in already
kang haerin | 🐹
one month: she’s a little intimidating at first honestly because while you two are now technically dating, she still does that thing where she just stares at you without blinking (she’s admiring you lol). dates to the lego store, you take turns buying the sets, i don’t make the rules
one year: she still stares at you without blinking like at all but now you know it’s because she loves you a lot! and also there’s this big grin on her face when she finally looks away. nj members love you for making their kitty so happy, you get a best friend pass with them
lee hyein | 🐣
one month: and if i say her members are so overprotective you’re not allowed to take her out on a date outside of her dorm unless one of them follows you 💀 if you want a little privacy you just have to watch the movies at home lol. but if you don’t mind it that much, she’s also fine with it! i’ll say hyein appreciates you putting up with her members like that <3
one year: you’ve earned the ‘dates outside of the dorm’ privilege by being a good gf for a year lol. if you ever wanna have a sleepover it HAS to be in the dorm, the girlies won’t let you take hyein to sleep at yours lmao you can try to sneak, but good luck dealing with an angry minji if you do!
summary: it was always a thing, noticing your best friend's older sister. ever since you were a young girl.
category: strangers-to-friends-to-lovers au
genre: fluff, slight angst (?)
warnings: JEALOUSY
a/n: thanks for the anon who requested this! i had so much fun writing this :)
'it's only a year in the name of love'; you tell yourself as you cannot help but to look at your best friend's older sister, jihye who walks past you two and into the kitchen to grab a quick snack.
sure, you know jihye would never return your feelings back (hell, she doesn't even know about them) but it never hurts to dream a little bit over the beyond, right?
"earth to y/n~" your best friend, mo maya hits your head with her pen to grab your attention.
HUH??
"was i zoning out again?" you ask with a grin, already knowing you were in fact daydreaming about mo jihye.
maya nods with her signature upside down smile. "if you keep zoning out, we'll never get done with this science homework."
why is sophomore year so hard? especially, with the dreadful chemistry homework the teacher is constantly assigning.
"you two alright over there?" jihye comes out from the kitchen, her hand holding a bowl full of strawberries. "do you need help?"
maya groans, shaking her head as she grips on the pen. "i want to try to do this myself."
"suit yourself." jihye shrugs, turning to you. "y/n, do you need any help?"
locking eyes with THE mo jihye has got to be one of the best dreams come true, yet alone, this moment of her talking to you is also another dream come true. you cannot help but to nod at the older, scooting over to make room for the other to sit besides you.
jihye lets out a small smile, placing her bowl on the table next to your books before sitting down on the floor.
"hmm, let's see." she leans just a bit closer to you, however, you could smell the florals and a slight sandalwood scent exhibiting from her. "ahh, i remember how to do this."
jihye opens her hand out, waiting for you to drop your pen in.
"huh?" you let out, about to put your own hand in.
the other girl can't help but to laugh at your cuteness. "silly, i meant your pen."
'fuck my life' you curse to yourself mentally, handing the pen to her while feeling heat rush upon your face.
jihye smiles at you, giggling a little bit at how adorable you looked.
'cute.' she can't help but to think to herself, looking at you with adoration. (like a little sister, of course)
maya groans again, constantly erasing the blank line which at this point, is no longer existing. "i need a small snack break, do you want anything, y/n?"
you look up at your best friend, shaking your head at her. "thank you though."
"anytime darling." maya sticks her tongue out, running off into their kitchen.
jihye scoots her bowl of strawberries to you. "your favorite strawberries! here, have some."
"oh. i'm okay, thank you unnie." you smile at the girl besides you.
the older nods, trying to ignore the slight sadness of you rejecting her strawberries by looking back down at the question. "okay, for this one, all you have to do is balance the redox reaction by..."
you blank out, zoning out as you look at the older girl's delicate yet strong features. from her dark yet stunning eyes, her precious moles, her delicate but very standing cheekbones and how her lips always had the pretty shine to them.
it's no fair for the entire universe because mo jihye simply exists.
"do you understand it now?"
HUH? OH-
you take a few seconds to process the fact that you just zoned out again. daydreaming about jihye in front of her! how embarrassing is that?
"ohh, i see!" you lie, hoping she would not question you about it further.
putting the pen down, jihye proudly grins. "great! if you need extra help on anything else, let me know. you already know where my room is so just knock and i'll be here."
"thanks unnie." you shyly say, looking down at your homework.
jihye can't pinpoint how you feel about her. do you not like her? she's always have tried becoming closer to you, ever since she met you while she was 8 and you were 7. now, you guys are 18 and 17.
surely, she would think that you two would've been closer by now, however, you seem to be a bit distance and precautious around her.
"oh. of-of course." jihye manages to say without sounding a bit too upset. "i'll see you around, y/n."
you watch as the love of your life descended up the stairs, letting out a dreamy sigh afterwards. "jihye unnie is so pretty."
however, each moment cannot go unwasted without another one of maya's groan.
"why is there never any ice cream left?" maya exclaims, shutting the freezer with a slam before coming out the kitchen with oreos and pretzels.
you wait, in the usual place where you'll see jihye past by ONCE daily throughout the whole school.
"can we just go now?" kyujin whines, begging to leave for lunch already.
you turn to her with a glare, prompting her to sigh and sit down on the stairs.
"let y/n get her daily one glimpse of jihye." eunchae defends you, scanning the halls for any sign of maya.
maya doesn't know, she never noticed at all. even when you two were children. and she never will know. liking mo jihye is a secret from maya because you know maya won't tolerate it.
but then again; love makes you crazy, right?
at least that's what eunchae argues.
"in 5,4,3,2,1..i see her!" you exclaim, watching from the end of the hallway of jihye walking out with some friends.
kyujin and eunchae looks at how smitten you are, giggling at the way your eyes fall in love with jihye.
"she looks amazing." you barely manage to let out, noticing the way her hair is tied up into a high ponytail, the uniform she wore today compliments her complexion, and the light gloss on her lips always sealed the day for you.
eunchae reaches to tap on your shoulder, exclaiming. "maya's coming over here."
you really don't want to keep this a secret from maya, but having a liking towards her older sister is something you know maya will never let go of.
"act normal, act normal." kyujin clears her throat, taking out her portable mirror to fix her bangs.
your best friend spots you from across the hall, waving at you as her eyes lit up with love.
"you guys know you don't have to wait for me every day, right?"
you shrug, grabbing her arm to hook with yours. "why wouldn't we?"
okay; maybe you were here to see jihye but waiting for maya is also a plus. killing two birds with one stone, right?
"okay, i am starving!" kyujin whines even more, stomping her feet.
jihye comes back from school, expecting to see both you and maya sprawled out in the living room as usual. however, upon opening the door, jihye is met with just her sister.
"oh? no y/n?" jihye asks, taking off her shoes.
the younger sister makes a weird incoherent noise (no surprise there). "a girl asked her out today."
stopping in her tracks of untying her laces, jihye looks up. "a girl?"
maya raises one of her brows up, brushing off the weird reaction from her sister. "yeahh..? she's new, i'm sure it's for help around the library since she works there with y/n now."
"oh. cool."
"yep! anyways, wanna hang out and go for some ice cream?" the younger turns off the t.v, hoping her sister would want to spend time with her today.
jihye contemplates, for a second, she wanted to say no and lock herself in her room to figure out who this new girl is but she ultimately nods. "just let me change out of the uniform and we can head out."
"awesome!" maya smiles excitedly, jumping off from where she was sitting earlier and rushing over to put her shoes on. "we can go to the new shop y/n keeps raving about."
y/n.
jihye does not understand why but her heart has a weird ting at the sound of your name. she wishes you were here to go out and enjoy ice cream with them. she wants you to acknowledge her, to get rid of that awkward weird air around you two.
but, she can't figure out how.
"you're paying, right sis?" the small glint in maya's eyes leads jihye to exclaim a loud laugh.
jihye pats the younger's head. "yes, my treat."
"awesome, i did NOT have any money to my name."
"why did miss. lee gave us so many boxes to sort through?" you grumble to haerin, stretching out your arms after sitting down for a long period of time. "she normally gives us two boxes MAX."
haerin makes a noise in agreement, however her eyes are focusing on you and only you. she loves when you wear that pink bow in your hair, it looks really pretty on you.
"how are you adjusting to school?" you curiously ask, getting up from the chair as you start to tidy up the back room of the library.
the raven-haired girl sighs, folding the boxes flat so it would be easy to recycle. "it's nice, it's just hard making friends."
"that's because you're a shy, quiet, pretty girl." you respond, returning to the middle table to pick up the new books to stack at the back. "i had to introduce myself to you first."
haerin feels her heartbeat racing again, very loudly too. "you think i'm pretty?"
"uh huh! you're cute too! maybe that's why people are intimated to come up to you, i get it though." you giggle, looking back at your friend. "you know, my friends have been telling me about how they've been wanting to become closer to you."
"i don't know about that..y/n.." haerin comes over to you, handing you another stack of new books. "it's just crowded, you know?"
haerin is a really introverted girl, you understand her.
"the vibes is getting depressing in here, haha." haerin giggles, looking at the time on her phone. "we finished pretty early, do you wanna go grab some ice cream? my treat."
at the sound of ice cream, you could've sworn you heard birds chirping a beautiful tune. "um yes!! there's this new shop that my brother and i go to often!"
"well, looks like we're going there." haerin smiles softly at the way you look excited, she can't help but to continue staring.
you laugh, scanning the room as fast as you could before grabbing your backpack. "everything looks good here! front desk looks good too."
"guess the ice cream is calling us." the raven-haired female slings her backpack around, waiting for you to link your arm with hers. "let's go."
jihye blinks. once. twice. and once more.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE WITH A GIRL?
"oo, looks like haerin is finally making her moves." maya giggles behind her hand, looking afar from the entrance of the ice cream shop. "aww, wait, they're kinda cute."
haerin. cute? moves?
jihye doesn't like the sound of this at all.
how old is this haerin girl anyways? is she senior or some college freshie? why is she even allowed to make moves on you?
why has maya not said anything about this haerin girl to her until now? you're like a younger sister to jihye too!
"so..this haerin girl in your grade or something?" jihye asks, pulling out her wallet as she scans the ice cream options.
cookies and cream. you love cookies and cream.
"yeah, she's really quiet." maya replies, her eyes onto both haerin and you. "but, y/n tells us that haerin actually talks and laughs a lot."
you do have that effect on people. jihye just wishes you were more like that with her. is it because she's maya's OLDER sister? jihye doesn't think the one-year age difference isn't the cause of it but could it?
"can i have on scoop of cookies and cream and one scoop of dark chocolate?" jihye gets her card out of her wallet, trying to not think too much of you.
maya giggles, seeing the way haerin's eyes are melting with adoration for you. "look at her! she's basically in love!"
"woah! you guys are too young for love." jihye says with a slight weirdness in her tone, handing the card to the cashier. "besides, you should be focusing on trying to pass chemistry."
maya groans in response. "UGHH, you're only a year older than us."
"besides, i don't think y/n's the type to like someone at the moment." jihye is telling herself a lie, she doesn't even know if you are or aren't interested in all that romance stuff so why does she get to say that about you?
the younger nods, agreeing with her sister. "true. but, haerin can change that hehe."
"oh please." jihye rolls her eyes, handing the scoop of dark chocolate to maya before returning to the worker. "thank you!"
maya scans where to sit, contemplating on scoping in on the date or giving you two privacy since she knows how haerin is as a person.
"let's leave those two alone." maya is about to walk off into a different direction before jihye grabs her wrist.
"wait, let's sit kind of far from them but enough to check out what's going on over there." the brunette haired squints her eyes at how haerin is offering a spoonful of her ice cream to you.
maya raises one of her brows up, AGAIN! why is her sister acting so weird right now?
"i think we should just sit somewhere us..." maya trails off, not wanting to make her sister upset.
the older one ignores the younger, already making her way to a seat that's close enough yet far to spy on both you and haerin. (jihye is just being an overprotective older sister, right? RIGHT?)
upon sitting down, jihye watches as you accepted the spoonful of ice cream from haerin.
"NO!" jihye screams, afraid of you perhaps getting sick from the shared germs.
maya sighs, facepalming herself as she tries to hide her face from you.
you hear a specific voice; well known voice to you, perhaps, your favorite voice. "unnie?"
it was cliché; being in love with danielle marsh, the straightest girl on earth. you thought your feelings were hopeless, until you discover her tumblr blog.
danielle’s dakgangjeong was delicious. you don’t regret proposing to her on the spot. if embarrassing yourself meant that you could eat her food on a daily basis, it was well worth it. the mere thought of her food made you salivate. you slap your cheeks lightly, willing yourself to focus on the lesson. the sound emitted from your slap catches the attention of haerin, who stares at you.
her stare reads, ‘i know what you’re thinking about.’ you arch an eyebrow at her. haerin definitely knows about danielle liking you, danielle’s tumblr post mentioned it. you wonder what danielle has said to haerin.
has she talked about your smile? your hair? your looks? or maybe your personality? well, you weren’t sure what danielle could say about that. even basing it off a couple interactions, you probably came off as weird and awkward.
the seeds of doubt seemed to have grown recently. how could danielle like someone like you? maybe she’s crazy. no, you take that back. she’s perfect. almost too perfect. oh, maybe that was what was wrong with her. no one could be that amazing and gorgeous and perfect. only danielle marsh. only mo jihye.
“are you insane?” you hear haerin ask quietly when you slam your head against the desk. a red, quickly forming, mark appears on your forehead, a reminder of the pain. you wince, both at her harsh tone and the lingering seethe.
massaging the sore spot, you turn behind, facing haerin who’s staring at you with a bored expression.
“do you know what flowers danielle likes?”
the header of her blog was a bouquet of tulips, but you could never be too sure. what if she likes dandelions or sunflowers? she was basically the sun reincarnated. to be honest, if she was the sun, you’d understand why sunflowers all face the sun. who wouldn’t want to look at danielle all day?
“gardenias,” she replies, her face morphing into one of curiosity, “why are you asking?”
well, if danielle didn’t mind you telling her best friend…
“i asked her to go visit this dog cafe with me tomorrow,” you explain, “i mean, like, kind of a date, i guess? just thought it would be nice to get some flowers for her.”
haerin lights up, a smirk plastered on her face, “does she know it’s a date?”
“uh, no?” her smile drops immediately.
“what.”
you instantly cower, fearing the intense, narrowing gaze that haerin adorned.
“we’re just hanging out. i didn’t really say that it was a date,” your voice comes out strained and quiet. haerin sighs loudly, her disappointment evident. guilt seeps into your every vein, did danielle tell her it was a date? you didn’t know what to say, only staring back at the orbs of exasperation.
a hand slams onto the whiteboard, a look of anger portraying your teacher’s face. you instantly jolt back to look at the front.
“anything to share with the class?” he prods.
haerin speaks out, noting your frozen state, “no sir.” she sends you a glare.
you deflate in your chair, mind only focusing on the blurry image of brown, wavy curls and a blinding smile.
the day had gone by in a blur. with your constant dozing off, you barely noticed the school bell ringing, signifying the end of the day. minji and hanni stand before your desk, a look of concern evident on their faces.
“is she alive?” minji asks, waving a hand in front of your face. you finally regain some of your senses, swatting her waving hand away. hanni rolls her eyes and shoves your belongings into your bag.
“girl hurry up,” she whines, “i wanna go get ice cream.” you groan, heeding to hanni’s words as you hurry out of the classroom with your friends.
maybe you could worry about your fatigue later, you had two whiny best friends to take care of first.
in the midst of licking your vanilla ice cream, (hanni had called you basic but you think she’s just jealous minji ate some of yours instead of hers), your phone beeps. and it beeps continuously until minji huffs, “turn that thing off.”
you roll your eyes and do as told, turning your phone to silent mode while minji fans herself and dabs away the droplets of sweat falling down her neck.
“do y’all remember when sungchan from the other block punched some jock in the face?” hanni suddenly brings up.
“oh yeah!” minji’s eyes widen, the heat long forgotten as you reminisce about the past years.
“what was it again? that guy was making fun of shotaro or something?” you ask.
hanni nods fervently, “yeah. i think sungchan got away with it too since someone had caught the jock pushing taro around.”
“wonder what it’s like to have someone defend my honour like sungchan did,” minji laughs, her uniform drenched with sweat. you watch hanni’s eyes follow her hands, pulling her damp hair into a makeshift ponytail. scoffing at the girl, you continue eating your ice cream.
maybe it would be nice to have someone defend your honour.
your teeth reach the cone.
“where are you bringing danielle tomorrow?”
“dog cafe,” you answer, “i might tell her soon.”
it’s the underlying fact that danielle has unintentionally exposed herself (or you had snooped around) on her tumblr blog that makes you so at ease. the mere statement that she likes her project partner could only be linked back to you. unless she had another project partner…
“oh serious?” minji asks.
you nod.
“congrats bro!”
it’s a little awkward with the way minji’s patting your back like you’re a kid. hanni just stares incredulously at how she’s treating you. sometimes it feels like they’re your parents, even though they fight and bicker incessantly.
“i can’t believe you managed to hide the fact that you liked her for so long from us though,” hanni sighs, “I literally told you about my crush and you didn’t tell me about yours. i’m feeling a little betrayed.”
while hanni’s moaning about your so called betrayal, you notice how minji stiffens up at the mention of hanni having a crush. her eyes slowly shift to the girl.
“you like someone?”
wow. you didn’t realise how easy it was for them to turn into a bunch of awkward losers.
hanni rolls her eyes.
“shut up, anyway, since when did you even like danielle? i mean, you didn’t even know her korean name.”
“the minor details don’t matter!”
“so when did you start liking her? you never told us,” minji asks curiously.
you remember the first time your eyes landed on the girl. sixteen and naive, dreaming of things that were beyond your control. the kid from the other block, you were called. it was strange, adapting to an environment where everyone else knew each other but you. yet, it was good. you met hanni and minji and eventually bumped into danielle in the hallway. you don’t think she remembers, but you do. the strangest thing was, that the moment you locked your sight onto her, everything else fell into place magically.
your extracurriculars, classes, friend groups, everything suddenly made sense and became easygoing. something about danielle made your life brighter, even though you barely knew the girl. it was like the universe knew that she had arrived. and maybe in another life, if everyone were sunflowers, you’d face danielle instead of the sun.
despite knowing close to nothing about the cheerleader, she made life happier. your day would be made even with a glance from her. you would giggle and smile at the memory even though it may be fleeting. and knowing that she shares the same sentiments? well, it just propelled you out of earth. you felt like you were constantly on cloud nine.
“when i moved over from the other block,” your teeth sank into the cone.
minji guffaws.
“dude! you’ve liked her for so long?”
“i guess so,” you’ve never truly realised how fast time passed. maybe liking danielle was such a constant in your life that you didn’t even notice how slowly you grew up.
frowning at the thought, you sigh, “she’s just really easy to like.”
hanni nods, “i get it.”
she doesn’t notice how swiftly minji turns her head.
“she’s just… perfect.”
there’s no other word to describe danielle marsh. she’s just amazingly perfect. it’s a little unnerving. how could someone be so perfect? it was unreal. you feel like you’ve mentioned this before.
“alright romeo,” hanni giggles, “calm down.”
you stare at her blankly before chuckling at your own feelings.
while minji and hanni finish up their ice cream, you check your phone. instantly, a wave of shock and exhilaration runs through your body. your phone lights up with a series of unread messages from danielle.
danielle [4.29pm]:
hii y/n!!
do u think this looks nice?
[image attached]
was thinking of wearing this tmrw
what do u think? :))
no wonder your phone was ringing just now! you sigh softly at your own stupidity. danielle must have been waiting for your reply. what if she was waiting for a long time? your heart constricts at the thought of danielle pouting, eagerly but patiently waiting. your hands fly to respond.
jeon y/n [5.16pm]:
you look gorgeous
please wear that ㅜㅜ
omg
sorry for replying late…
i was with minji and hanni
maybe she would be able to feel your sincerity through your messages.
danielle [5.17pm]:
hello!!
aw really? :D
thanks y/n!!
ure too sweet <3
that heart again. ugh. you could feel your own heart clenching at her cuteness.
meanwhile, your friends eye you with disgust.
whatever. not like they understand.
your hair sways in the wind, matching the flutters of your heart. in your hair, a crushed bouquet of gardenias rests. the crinkles in the wrapping weren’t your fault! you were just too nervous waiting for danielle. despite your protests, danielle had forced you to not pick her up, and insisted you to just meet her at a nearby cafe instead.
“y/n!”
oh my goodness.
“hi dani,” you greet shyly.
if liking girls, or more specifically danielle, was a sin, you’d gladly go to hell and while there, you would brag about how you’ve captured a glance of heaven.
“for me?”
you were definitely in love. the curl of her lips only caused your heart rate to increase.
handing the bouquet to her, and stealthily wiping your sweaty palms against your jeans, you try to muster a similar smile.
danielle grins widely as she accepts the bouquet before placing it into her ginormous bag that reminds you of doraemon’s pocket.
“how’d you know i like gardenias?”
“i…” you feel like lying, but maybe hiding the fact that you know of danielle’s crush caused enough guilt, “i asked haerin.”
shock appears evidently on danielle’s face.
“you talk to haerin?”
scratching the back of your neck, you shrug, “sometimes? she’s in some of my classes.”
danielle pouts.
the urge to take a photo of her is too strong, but you manage to resist it with sheer willpower and determination.
(you’re lying. you almost fainted.)
“ugh, she better not have told you any embarrassing stories about me!”
you reassure danielle with an awkward pat, “nope, we don’t talk very often. and she doesn’t really bring up anything you’ve said to her, danielle.”
the girl suddenly halts and stiffens up. you raise an eyebrow at her sudden frozen state. maybe you’ve offended her— should you apologise?
“can you call me jihye? it’s not that danielle isn’t okay— you can still call me dani! but y’know, jihye just sounds more…”
intimate is the word.
you send a comforting smile to her, “okay jihye.”
it must sound nice coming from you, if the way danie—no, jihye, blinks and then beams is any indication. it feels good saying her name too. it’s a little hilarious that a few weeks back, you didn’t even know her korean name.
“uh— okay! let’s go!” jihye shrieks. you like the fact that you’re aware of the effect you have on her now. it doesn’t feel like mere delusion anymore.
as you sit down in the cafe, jihye doesn’t say much. after ordering, you decide to take the initiative in starting a conversation. maybe you should start with something common; like your project!
“when are you free to finish our project?” you ask.
jihye turns to you, frowning, “have you asked minji and hanni for their help yet?”
you unintentionally wince at the mention of your friends.
“i don’t think they’ll be willing to do it,” you mutter, just thinking about hanni’s feelings and minji’s obliviousness.
“oh, then that’s okay! we can just do it ourselves, right?”
it’s pretty obvious what her intention is. but for the sake of humouring her (and because you fold everytime she speaks), you nod.
“maybe we can do it?”
the hint of hopefulness in her voice makes you want to nod your head repeatedly until it falls off.
god, maybe you are a little obsessed with her, if your palpitating heart was any indication.
“sure!” your voice comes out a little high-pitched and whinier than expected.
jihye only laughs it off. your cheeks flush red with embarrassment, but if jihye’s laughter was the result of your stupidity, you would gladly do it again to hear her.
“let’s just enjoy today first, we can always do it sometime later,” she says. you agree wholeheartedly (not because you’re whipped!) but today was your so-called date with her.
you smile back at her, with all the sincerity and adoration in the world. whilst jihye drinks her caramel macchiato with an ungodly amount of sugar, you take the opportunity to admire her features. her skin, basking in the sunlight, glimmering like edward cullen from twilight. you internally cringe at your own thoughts.
“is it good?” you ask after she lets out a satisfied sigh.
“mhm! want some?” her hand offers you her drink, the tip of the straw poking out stained with her lipstick. you gulp, thinking about how it would technically be an indirect kiss.
nodding, you take a sip.
“that’s really sweet,” you comment. jihye only laughs.
“i guess i just like sweet things,” she winks playfully and wiggles her eyebrows. it’s so ridiculous that it makes you erupt into laughter. the innuendo doesn’t go over your head either, it just makes you feel hazy, as if everything was a dream.
you quickly finish up your own pastry and offer jihye bites in between conversations. you learn that haerin was her first friend when she transferred from australia to korea, and that she tried out for the cheerleading team because the school mascot was cute. it’s an endearing reason that you can’t fault her with.
“let’s go now?” jihye asks. nodding, you quickly pay for your drinks and food, despite jihye’s protests. once outside, your hand itches to pull hers into a grasp. your fingers flex and adjust uncomfortably as you resist the urge to interlock your fingers. jihye only exclaims gleefully as you approach the dog cafe. a quaint little storefront with a cute wooden sign displaying a paw print.
your hand flies out to open the door for her chivalrously and jihye mumbles a bashful ‘thank you’. the moment you stepped foot inside, a chorus of barks resounded, only heightening jihye’s excitement. you watch as her eyes dart around the room, eagerly searching for the cute puppies. you’re whisked away by the staff, who’s wearing an adorable apron with a dog printed at the front.
“aww! y/n,” jihye tugs at your arm, pointing at the apron, “the uniform’s so cute! i would love to work here!”
your brain immediately imagines jihye, all sunshine and rainbows with the apron adorned on her body. yeah, you would visit the dog cafe every day if she worked here.
“we can come work here during our break,” you suggest.
“oh my gosh— yes!” she squeals. you’re dragged past the gate separating the dogs, and instantly, a tiny pomeranian jumps onto you. jihye just stares in awe at the various tiny dogs running around. and as the staff introduces the puppies, you cuddle up to the cream pomeranian called cookie.
“y/n…!” jihye shrieks, her eyes gleaming with adoration and you kind of notice the tears about to fall, “they’re all so adorable!”
cookie crawls into your lap and paws at your hands for you to rub his stomach. you do so as a maltese waddles up to jihye, its curious eyes staring at her.
jihye immediately falls to her knees and welcomes the maltese with open arms.
“this is the best day of my life,” she proclaims tearfully as another shih tzu pads towards her, sniffling her hand. you laugh at how easily jihye cries.
“you look really cute right now,” you say, using your free hand to take a couple of photos. jihye pouts, “i’m trying my best not to cry! but these puppies are just so cute!”
jihye takes out her own phone and continuously snaps pictures of the puppies pawing at her hand.
“thank you for bringing me here,” she suddenly sighs delightfully, “i’ve always wanted to come to a dog cafe.”
guilt gnaws at you as you’re reminded of why you even brought her out.
“you know me so well!” she exclaims.
oh fuck, you think. the only reason why you knew about her affinity for dogs and animals was because you stalked her tumblr page. it’s a heart wrenching devastation that tugs your heart to the bottom of your stomach. the guilt and shame clenches around your heart in a vice grip.
it doesn’t disappear for the rest of the day when jihye plays with the dogs. everytime your eyes landed on her, you felt mortified at your own actions. you shouldn’t have ever violated her privacy like that. just knowing that she liked you now, only drove the regret further in.
it’s a blaring realisation that jihye won’t want anything to do with you after you tell her.
but you can’t bear to keep it a secret anymore.
you keep your mouth shut for the remainder of the day. just to let jihye enjoy her time before you ultimately ruin it. she’s the happiest you’ve ever seen and it sucks, because you won’t get to see her like this ever again.
“are you walking me home?” jihye asks. you nod, not daring to even glance at her. it’s dark, and the streetlights don’t offer much protection for jihye.
(and it also gives you more time to spend with her.)
maybe she knows that you're nervous and upset, because she doesn’t start any conversation at all, choosing to instead hum various songs, filling in the blank silence. meanwhile, you mull the consequences of your actions. only when jihye reaches her front door, you decide to say something.
“hey…,” your mouth turns dry. the girl whips her head to you, “yeah?”
“i— i’m sorry,” you whisper. jihye tilts her head curiously, “what for? are you okay?”
the way she’s staring at you so concerned, you don’t deserve it at all. you don’t get to indulge in her care and affection after betraying her trust like that.
“i know about your tumblr page.”
jihye’s eyes widen considerably and a gasp escaped her lips.
“what…?”
your own eyes squeeze shut, afraid of her reaction, “and i know that you like me.”
there’s a few seconds of silence. you think she’s just taking it all in.
you use the opportunity of her shock to continue explaining, “i found out the day i stayed back to watch you practise. the tab opened by itself and i… i’m sorry… i just couldn’t help myself.”
jihye— did you even have the right to call her that anymore? one look at the girl had you crumbling into pieces internally, despite it being you who broke her trust.
“it was really shitty of me to do, and i don’t know why i did it,” you whisper, “but i like you. i really really like you, ever since i moved blocks. i know i’ve ruined things between us, and you might not forgive me, but i just couldn’t continue being your friend knowing i violated your privacy like that.”
danielle gapes at you, before her eyebrows furrow.
“tell me you’re joking.”
“i’m not, i’m sorry.”
“jeon y/n, are you serious?” it’s heartbreaking to hear danielle like this, so raw and vulnerable.
“jihye—”
her voice comes out, shooting like venom, “don’t call me that.”
you feel the onslaught of tears ready to fall.
“i’m sorry.”
you can’t even form a single coherent thought with danielle glaring at you like you’re worth nothing to her. you think of all the sweet messages she’s sent to you, cheerful encouragement she says throughout the day, the snacks she’s prepared for you. it’s all ruined. because of you.
Description: Despite your initial distrust of Dani's relentless optimism, you discover that having someone as bright as Dani in your life is exactly what you need.
💭 GUIDELINES ‣ LIBRARY ‣ TAGLIST & ANONS ‣ REQUEST LIST ‣ PINNED ‣ TIP JAR
📨 REQUESTS ARE CLOSED 📨 WORK COUNT: OO2 📨
NO SMUT FOR: Any of the members SUGGESTIVE OKAY FOR: Minji & Hanni
뉴진스 ── OT5. ( newjeans )
nothing yet, come back later!
김민지 ── KIM MINJI. ( minji )
nothing yet, come back later!
PHẠM NGỌC HÂN ── HANNI PHAM. ( hanni )
📹─────BLUE LEMONADE | 5.5K — ONE-SHOT | a chance meeting over a blue lemonade at a coffee shop sparks an awkward crush, culminating in a rainy-day confession that transforms your timid connection into the start of something new as you walk to school together. (GENDER NEUTRAL READER) REQUESTED
모지혜 ── MO JIHYE. ( danielle )
nothing yet, come back later!
강해린 ── KANG HAERIN. ( haerin )
nothing yet, come back later!
이혜인 ── LEE HYEIN. ( hyein )
📹─────THROUGH MY EYES | 2.9K — ONE-SHOT | in a quiet moment beneath the shade of an oak tree, you and hyein discover the depth of your love for each other through a heartfelt drawing that captures the beauty you see in hyein’s soul, leading to your first tender confessions. (FEMALE READER) REQUESTED
🍉 FROM THE RIVER TO THE SEA, PALESTINE WILL BE FREE! DAILY CLICKS!
summary: it was always a thing, noticing your best friend's older sister. ever since you were a young girl.
category: strangers-to-friends-to-lovers au
genre: fluff, slight angst (?)
warnings: JEALOUSY, y/n is very much head over heels for jihye
a/n: thanks for the love on part 1 <3
clearing your throat and simultaneously tapping your feet, you dart your eyes between your best friend and her sister. both girls look down at their feet, avoiding your gazes at them.
"i mean if it wasn't a date, i don't get why you're so upset." maya blurts out her intrusive thoughts, earning a nudge in her stomach by her sister.
you deeply sigh, having jihye's concern pan towards you. why do you seem to care so much about that girl?
"it isn't about that." you respond with a worried expression. "you already know how introverted haerin is, you can't just randomly yell that out -- especially in a public setting."
your best friend rolls her eyes, your words going through one ear and coming out the other. "i was just genuinely excited for you."
"me?"
maya nods. "haerin is a cute and nice girl and you were complaining about how you hated being single, let alone get grossed out when boys try to court you. i just figured you'd want to try something new with a nice and cute person like her."
"i see. but maya you'd have to understand that me dating is my own personal matters, besides even though i always complain on how single i am, i still don't want to be in the dating scene yet." you explain, thankfully without blurting out that you have feelings for your best friend's sister.
a crush is a crush.
"y/n is young to date anyways." jihye backs you up, feeling a sour taste at the idea of you and haerin possibly becoming a thing.
maya groans loudly, putting her head back to be dramatic. "we're only a year younger than you!"
"still too young." jihye crosses her arms, wanting to not talk about nor think about you dating. (after all, she's just being a protective older sister.)
the younger mo rolls her eyes at how geeky and overprotective her sister is being, getting up from the ramp that she was sitting on to reach you. "y/n, let's go leave this oldie behind. she's getting on my nerves."
"HEY!"
shaking at your head at how immature the two siblings are being, you can't help but to stare over at jihye more. oh, how pretty she is in the sunlight with her natural curly hair falling perfectly right at her shoulders.
the way jihye could never stay mad at anyone ever, that's how much of a sweet and kind person mo jihye is.
"AHHH! save me!" maya runs behind you, using you as shield from her jihye unnie.
jihye huffs in frustration at maya using you for protection before picking up your backpack from the ground. "it's getting late, let's start heading back home."
slinging your backpack around her shoulders, she starts walking in front.
pretty
"hehe." your best friend giggles in victory, kissing your cheek and making sure to leave a big 'smooch' sound which grabs jihye to stop walking and bringing her attention to you two.
"we're coming! we're coming!" maya could not help but to let out another eye roll at the way her sister is acting today.
you wait for a bit, standing behind to see the other two walking. however, your sense of vision floods and linger over jihye. oh, how she looks pretty while YOUR backpack is around her back. she even walks pretty, how is one's beauty made so perfect?
mr and mrs. mo made jihye with love.
"what are you doing?" maya turns around, shielding her eyes from the sun with her hand to get a good look at you. "let's go!"
jihye turns around as well, her eyes basically smiling at you making you freeze and look off to the side of her face.
trying to play it cool, you let out a small laugh before running up to the both of them. to not over fluster yourself, you lean a bit more on maya's side.
this seems normal.
but, why does jihye want you closer to her? she can't help but to ask herself on why you seem to always draw a line between you and her? are you that uncomfortable around her? could it be because she's a year older than both you and maya?
with her hand clutching on one of the straps of your backpack, jihye distantly stares off into the streets, keeping quiet as she ponders on how to get closer to you.
it's only normal, right? you three basically grew up together, it's not weird at the fact she wants to become closer to you, right?
"isn't it strange that kyujin keeps leaving notes into someone's locker?" maya asks, wondering why one of their friends is trying to keep it a secret.
you can only hum in question, before trying to defend your friend. "i think it's honestly kind of cute."
"tch, so cheesy."
notes in a locker?
jihye patiently waits in front of your classroom, her hands gripping to the straps of her backpack while she looks down at her feet to calm her nerves down. she softly inhales and exhales, finding a steady breathing before your class ends.
"y/n." kyujin whispers to you across the classroom.
you struggle to drought down the lecture materials as you look up at your friend calling your name. "huh?"
you notice your friend making a weird jerking movement with her head, leaving you extremely confused and overstimulated due to the materials covered in class. "what?"
"look at the door." kyujin whispers back.
at your friend's words, you lazily dart your eyes to the door.
OH MY GOD??
at the sight of her, you immediately sit up in your seat, pretending to look studious in case she happens to peer inside the classroom. why could jihye possibly be here? and in front of your classroom?
and why does she look amazing in that grey sweats gym uniform? and her hair is so curly today, you can feel a sense of devotion just for her only. if only...she would see you the same way you see her.
jihye probably only saw you as a sister
all of a sudden, the urge for class to end disappears and you just want to stay seated at your desk FOREVER.
getting a quick glimpse of the clock, you internally start panicking as you curse out the clock for moving its hands too fast all of a sudden.
the second your teacher started to erase her work off of the whiteboard, the panic rises internally even more. class is ending soon and all of sudden, you want to stay here forever instead of facing your ongoing long term crush like an idiot.
everyone else in the class starts to put their workbooks away, having you start panicking even more and ultimately, you too put away your workbooks into your backpack with an anxious heartbeat racing.
you watch as everyone else disperse out the classroom, halting on purpose to still calm yourself down and figure out why jihye is out waiting here in front of your classroom.
"bye weirdo." kyujin sends you a flying kiss to which you shudder and grimace before she walks out the classroom.
jihye looks over, peering inside the classroom once the students exited out. she smiles softly at the way you're diligently taking the time to put away your workbooks and school supplies. jihye can't help but to admire a little bit of your features.
you look up from zipping up your backpack close, making direct eye contact with the older.
jihye smiles over at you, her pink rosy lips upturn with her signature lip gloss. you swore you could've felt your heartbeat stopped beating for a second at the smile. before you could even get straight back to what you were doing, jihye strides her way towards you.
OH MY GOD-calm down.
"hi unnie." you manage to say, calming down a bit while continuing to zip your backpack up.
the older lets out a soft hum. "hi y/n."
"w-what are you doing here?" you get out of your seat, asking her.
jihye pushes down the thought that you probably don't want to see her and manage a small smile at your question, grabbing your backpack and holding it. "maya is doing something for a project with her partner so i figured i would accompany you on your walk back home, if that's alright?"
alone? just the two of you? walking?
"y-yeah, that's alright." you softly smile at the older.
jihye gasps happily, nodding as she walks besides you out of the classroom, holding your backpack in her hand.
the silence is comforting yet it's killing you in the inside. only sounds of the both of you walking against the concrete ground could be heard. and strangely; you like it yet dislike it.
you only like it because walking with your crush is a blessing but you dislike it because what do you even do in this situation?
jihye admires your features a little longer, blatantly staring at you without knowing how it'd make you feel. frankly, jihye always found you perfect and adorable. (like a younger sister, right?) somehow; you look even more perfect in this sunlight.
'why is she staring at me so long like that?' you think to yourself, feeling nervous even more as the both of you continue to walk along a small trail to your neighborhood.
"so, you normally help out at the library?" jihye asks with a soft tender voice, smiling down prettily at you.
you let out a curt nod, diverting your eyes down at your feet to stop your cheeks from getting painted by a pink-hue. "haerin and i both help out at the library."
"ahh~ i see." jihye nods to herself, keeping that information stored into her brain. "so...this haerin. is she nice?"
jihye hopes she didn't sound too intruding for asking that question. why does she want to know so badly if haerin is nice to you or not?
you can only let out a shy nod in response.
jihye ignores the weird itchy feeling in the back of her throat, inhaling in deeply before speaking again. "that's...that's good."
the air falls silent again.
"y/n?"
you look up at her sweet voice calling your name, ignoring the way the soft vibrations of her voice affects your inner turmoil of emotions. "hmm, unnie?"
"umm...do you not like me?" jihye's voice is very gentle and quiet...with a sense of vulnerability seeping through.
god; if only she knows how much you like her. how much every glance she gives you make you feel overwhelmed and enthralled, giving you butterflies each time. or how much her voice calling your name out makes your heart pound in your chest.
"no...i do. why?" you compose yourself to be able to say those words.
jihye gazes down at you with a small smile, tilting her head. "you barely talk to me and when you do, only a few words are exchanged. you tend to be wary of your distance with me when i'm near you."
you sigh deeply silently, darting your eyes back to the ground, the cracks in the pavement looking more interesting than the face of the girl you've always had a crush on since you were seven.
jihye quietly observe you, waiting for your response.
"it's not that unnie..."
you sigh again, not knowing what to say to ease the older girl's mind.
"you just make me nervous..."
jihye's brows furrows at your words.
nervous?
"is it because i'm older than you?" the question comes out hesitantly from the older's lips, lingering in the air for a few seconds while the two continues walking.
you shake your head immediately. "n-no."
"is it because i'm maya's sister?"
"no."
jihye's lips changes into a small frown, her eyes full of curiosity. "then why do i make you nervous?"
before you could open your mouth to form a response to the older's question, a small bark and a scratch on your legs grab your attention. you glance down, seeing your family's beloved toy poodle. which means you've arrived home...
"ah~ looks like we've made it safely." the older smiles softly, putting distance between you two to give you space. "i'll let maya know i've taken you home safely."
you can only nod in response. "thanks unnie..."
"i'll see you around." jihye says, forcing a smile as she reluctantly turns around to start heading home.
thursday; at 5:30 pm is written down as the worse day in your entire life.
here you are, lying in maya's arms while she comforts you. her hand brushes through your hair while tears are pouring out from your eyes. it's dumb, really. to cry over someone who's probably only seen you as their little sister's best friend.
and yet; here you are...
all because you saw jihye hugging some cool girl who goes by the name of kim minji.
why does the world seems to punish JUST you?
"shh...it's alright..." maya soothes you, her tone in a hushed whisper.
she feels your tears subsiding as you sniffle softly.
"there, there...you're alright."
once you've managed to calm down and relax, maya slightly pulled back to take a look at you. her thumbs gently wiped around your tears.
"now, who made my darling cry?" maya asks in a small whisper.
how do you tell your best friend of ten years that you've had a crush on her older sister since the day you became friends?
you shake your head, worried of what maya would think if you told her.
before maya could open her mouth to respond back, the door of her room gets swing opened and there she is, jihye standing in the doorway with a concerned look.
"i...overheard on the way back to my room." jihye softly says, her eyes focus onto you. "is everything alright here?"
no. no. no.
it's as if her gentle and concerned voice makes it even worse and before you can stop yourself; a dam of tears starts to break.
oh boy, this will be a long night.
hey...hehe...sorry for the VERY late second part :( my laptop got stolen and i hate typing on my phone or ipad so i had to buy a new one...
it was cliché; being in love with danielle marsh, the straightest girl on earth. you thought your feelings were hopeless, until you discover her tumblr blog.
jihye doesn’t know what to do. the revelation that you had known all this time— known about her feelings and affection for you, known about her online persona, known about the side of her that she’s hidden all this time. it’s suffocating. she feels so upset. jihye hasn’t moved from the spot where she last saw you. her parents are sound asleep upstairs and jihye tries to stifle her sobs to not wake them.
she wishes you were joking, just kidding with her. yet, the raw emotion radiating off your words, the apology filled with sorrow and sadness, maybe even regret, it was undeniably true. her knees were weak, wobbling and almost falling off balance.
jihye can’t even tell if this is a whole prank. how could you become her friend so easily just to betray her like that?
her phone vibrates in her bag and as she tries to fish it out with bleary eyes, filled with unshed tears, the flower bouquet staring right at her. each petal glowing with pity and sympathy. a wrenched hand shoots out to grasp her heart, squeezing it in a vice grip.
a choked sob escapes her as she recalls the scene where you had so shyly passed her the bouquet. your bashful smile, the sheepish expression on your face.
god, jihye couldn’t do this right now.
wiping away her tears, she checks her phone. a single message from you.
jeon y/n [10.17pm]:
i’m sorry. i’ll do the project by myself
the project? jihye had totally forgotten about it. she wills herself to move from the same spot, padding to the couch and sinking into the cushion. she doesn’t know how to continue with her school life, having to see you almost every day. it just didn’t make sense how you could play with her feelings so easily. still glaring at your message, jihye lets out a resigned sigh.
the only reason she had even suggested research on human attraction was to try and profess her adoration in a way that wouldn’t be too obvious. but now, what was she meant to do? it felt as if her whole world had collapsed. she didn’t just like you. if it was a simple crush she wouldn’t be feeling this way.
the realisation comes to her hard. this isn’t a mere attraction or infatuation.
it might just be love. she knows now how deep her love runs.
jihye’s so tired of thinking. were all those words of comfort you said to her fake as well? she hadn’t expected you to become her partner in any way. but the moment your name had appeared right next to hers, she knew that she had to use this opportunity to prove something. and right after her stunt in the classroom, seeing you at the football game? jihye bites her lip, thinking about the way you were staring at her. she had pretended not to see you yet, until you had so cutely waved at her. the pure shock overwhelming her, distracting her from the routine and causing her to fall. it was embarrassing, really but your concern for her made up for it.
and the way she had pointed out your jacket! she just couldn’t contain her curiosity and throughout your friendship, you seemed particularly fond of minji. jihye twirls her fingers together, frowning at the thought. you had told her minji and hanni were in a strange situationship but it still didn’t quell her fears that you might have been harbouring some sort of secret feelings for your best friend.
you had confessed to her though. in the midst of your ramble you had explicitly said that you liked her. jihye groans just thinking about it. she doesn’t know what to feel. on one hand, she was betrayed. on the other hand, her crush returned her feelings. why couldn’t you have just not done anything? she would be fine just living with her feelings.
(no she wouldn’t be.)
her finger involuntarily moves to tap on her spotify. it’s the playlist that you made for her playing. jihye feels as if her head might explode. these actions of yours couldn’t be a lie as well, right? she’s going crazy.
this was something straight out of the romance novels she’s read. this isn’t something that would happen to a regular person— how could it be?
she sinks further into the couch. the blouse she had put on previously to look pretty for you itches uncomfortably on her skin. she wants to get rid of the feeling, both physically and emotionally. begrudgingly, jihye brings herself to shower after the taxing day.
that’s what she needs. a cold shower to calm her down.
jihye inhales sharply.
she can get through this. she’s been through many hardships already. this won’t affect her in any way. she’ll just pretend everything was a bad nightmare.
she can get through this, just like she always has.
so that was a lie. jihye cannot get through this. she had gotten out of bed, hair tousled and eyes red from crying. she looked like she had gotten dumped. how could she feel heartbreak without even being in a relationship? the look her mother had on her face was only a testament to how jihye was feeling. wearily, she went to school without eating breakfast. she didn’t have the appetite. it proved to be a bad idea when her stomach growled during the first period. already feeling bad enough, there was a surprise pop quiz for geography that jihye definitely flunked.
not to mention the stares she got from other people in the hallways when she made her way to class. they were most likely questioning why the usually bright and energetic cheerleader was more gloomy than her best friend. even haerin had been confused.
the girl had whispered in her ear conspiratorially, “did she mess up on the date?”
jihye could only laugh wetly, “yeah, kind of.”
maybe the attention from other people was expected, but what wasn’t, was hanni and minji cornering her after school.
she had just finished her last class and she couldn’t wait to leave the school but your friends had swerved to hold her back. the classroom was empty, void of any students left. you had left in a hurry while jihye took her time to pack up. your friends had waited outside before coming in and interrogating her.
“what do you guys want?” jihye tries to ask as nicely as possible but even that comes out harsh.
minji cowers while hanni mumbles, “we want to know what happened between you and… yeah. she’s not herself. well, she’s not okay.”
what about me? jihye wanted to ask. you weren’t the only one affected by this. she remains mum however, choosing not to reply. it would be unsightly to argue with your friends.
“you don’t have to tell us,” minji offers, “we kind of know the whole outline but not the details. are you okay though?”
jihye’s eyes flit upwards. she doesn’t know whether to tell minji and hanni. what if she said something and your friends just relayed it back to you?
something about the two girls made jihye want to tell them. maybe it was the lack of sympathy in their words, only comforting. they didn’t pity her for being in this situation. it was something jihye needed.
she swallows and states, “she said she likes me.”
both girls’ eyes widened visibly.
“did you reject her?” minji blurts out.
jihye shakes her head, “no, i… i like her too.”
“WHAT?!”
“why’d you reject her?” hanni asks, albeit more calmly than minji’s reaction. jihye only sighs, “because she told me something that betrayed my trust.”
hanni’s face falls into a contemplative look while minji looks flabbergasted. perhaps aghast that her best friend actually had a chance with her crush but ruined it. jihye would think that her expression looks funny if not for the serious matter at hand.
“do you mind telling us more?” she eventually says.
“uhm, only if you don’t tell her anything.”
they exchange a look that makes jihye’s nerves rise before coming to an agreement.
“we swear we won’t,” hanni promises as minji nods feverishly. they don’t look like they would go back on their promise. yet, you didn’t seem like the type to act so rashly either.
“she found out that i liked her,” jihye starts, “because she saw my tumblr blog and she didn’t tell me either until last night. she told me and i… i just couldn’t handle knowing that she saw such a vulnerable and personal side of me.”
“did you not want her to see it?”
“i didn’t. not yet. i was trying to convey my feelings through my actions,” jihye blushes, thinking of the numerous times she’s complimented you, “i thought she was dense. not that she already knew.” even that time when she met you in the library, she had explicitly asked if you liked a song for girls and you had only brushed it off.
hanni scowls, “she’s stupid.”
jihye shrugs. you were stupid. that, she can’t deny.
“are you going to talk to her anytime soon?” minji asks suddenly. jihye doesn’t know if she should. her lips pursed, minji just sighs, “she’s been super depressed lately—”
the girl gets interrupted by hanni elbowing her stomach, shushing her. jihye raises her eyebrows at the way minji just quietens down without a word. she really does listen to hanni, jihye muses, thinking back on your prolonged explanation about your best friends’ relationship with each other.
“we’re not saying that to… y’know, try and get you to talk to her,” hanni says frantically, “but i think you need it as much as she does.” some part of her subconscious mind feels that there’s truth in hanni’s words. jihye needs to set a clear boundary with you.
“just think about it, okay?” the shorter girl whispers softly. jihye nods stiffly.
before she even gets to reply, both minji and hanni leave, hand in hand, might she add. they don’t turn back to look at her and jihye appreciates it. for if they do, they might have seen the broken look in her eyes, farcast and stormy.
you’re lounging on your couch, still thinking about your wrongdoings with jihye. the soft ambiance of the playlist made for her plays in the background while you stare emptily at the blank tv screen. you haven’t felt like this in a long time. defeated and desperate for any semblance of comfort.
on the coffee table lay your laptop, open with the display of your presentation on your project with jihye. it’s completed. you finished it after pulling an all-nighter and you could see jihye’s icon popping up to check in on the progress. your fingers fly out to message her but you manage to restrain yourself, knowing that anything you said now would only widen the irreversible gap you’ve created.
minji and hanni had tried endlessly to cheer you up but to no avail. it seemed like you were just a shell of a person. blank face, blank stares, unwavering expressions of steel. a week has passed since your confession with no further development of your collapsing friendship with jihye.
you glance longingly at the laptop screen again, just as jihye’s icon disappears. there’s a comment left under the last slide.
mo jihye: good job.
it’s so ridiculous that a miniscule remark could cause happiness to bloom within you. jihye really doesn’t need to do much to make you happy. and it’s a sad realisation that this would be the last thing connecting you to the cheerleader.
you can’t believe that weeks worth of getting to befriend jihye has all gone down in the drain because of your own stupidity and recklessness. you had a chance to prove that you weren’t like the rest.
“what are you doing?” your entire body jolts at the sudden question from heejin. she blinks at you, confused at why you were staring so intently at the laptop.
“none of your business.”
heejin scowls before plopping herself right next to you on the couch. “you look ugly. did you cry?”
you groan, “shut up. i’m not okay.”
your sister merely rolls her eyes.
“something to do about that girl that you liked?”
“obviously.”
“why? what happened? and before you tell me to shut up again, this is me trying to be a good older sister,” heejin says, “tell me what’s wrong or else i’ll get mum.”
sighing, you bring your knees up to your chest, curling up beside the armrest of the couch, “i messed up with her and i don’t think she wants me near her.”
“is that why you came home crying?”
your head shoots up, “you saw me?”
heejin shrugs, “just a glimpse of you going into your room. i was getting water for hyunjin.”
the separation from jihye must have hit you hard since you don’t tease heejin about hyunjin.
“did she reject you? is that why? she’s straight?” heejin asks. you shake your head, chuckling sadly, “she likes me back.”
“so? what happened?”
“i can’t tell you, heej. but the way she looked at me that night,” you can already feel your chest constricting in pain from the sheer memory of jihye’s harsh gaze, “i don’t think i can even try to fix this.”
your sister nods understandingly but still retorts, “do or do not. there is no try.”
you’re a little thrown off by her wisdom.
“yoda. star wars episode five,” heejin laughs. what the hell— “it fits though right? you just need to show her that you’re beyond your mistakes.”
“you’re stupid,” her silly remark makes you laugh though. you feel some sort of gratitude for heejin’s dorky behaviour. it gives you comfort knowing that even though your relationship with jihye was hanging by a lifeline, everything else would stay the same.
“show her,” she says firmly, “that you’re serious.”
“how?” it truly is the only question you can ask. showing jihye that you’re serious about her? if you couldn’t portray it as words, how else could you convey such a heartfelt emotion? it wasn’t a discontinuous variation that was measurable.
heejin smiles softly and for the first time, you’re starstruck, wondering how you could have ended up with someone like her by your side.
“that’s all you,” she encourages, “be vulnerable. she’s built up walls around her because she’s afraid of getting hurt. if you can show her your true self, maybe she’ll open up too.”
you nod, swallowing the lump in your throat.
“thanks heej.” you can’t put it into words how thankful you are for your sister’s presence. it’s so overwhelming that it nearly brings tears to your eyes again—
“deadass.”
“that is not what that means—”
just as the clock strikes one, the bell rings. you glance up from your chemistry worksheet and dread starts to accumulate within you. the next class was the one where you had to present your project with jihye and just the mere thought of standing near her had you trembling like a leaf. you had come to terms with the fact that jihye might not forgive you but you at least had to talk to her. now, the only thing left, and the hardest part was to in fact, talk to her.
you gulp just as minji and hanni quieten down, both coming to the same realisation and turning to you hastily. other than heejin, your best friends have been pillars of support for you. even though you didn’t reveal what your exact troubles were, they still stuck by you. it was nice to have someone. you had hoped that jihye had people to take care of her as well. unless she was unaffected by everything but you don’t visit that thought often.
when mr lee strolls into class, he’s sporting a wide grin. you already know where this is headed and soon, your suspicions come through when he flashes on the projector, in big, bold words, the first group’s presentation.
resisting the urge to avert your eyes to jihye’s back, you force your gaze onto your bumbling classmates who head to the front of the class.
of course you don’t notice the way jihye’s body has been tensed up since the start of class.
you barely pay attention to the presentation, subconsciously focusing on your palpitating heart instead. it beats painfully against your ribcage, almost breaking through it. you can’t feel anything but anxiety and fear.
“—thank you for that presentation,” mr lee says as he types fiercely on his laptop, “next is minji and jiwoo.”
you watch your friend walk up to the front, sending her an encouraging smile while hanni chuckles silently.
“begin whenever you want, girls.”
again, you don’t pay attention. nothing is absorbed into your head. the only thing residing there is a blurry haze of bright doe eyes and a gleaming smile. it's scarily similar to the girl sitting just a few rows ahead of you.
a few minutes pass as your eyes eventually end up boring holes into the brunette’s back. your eyes flicker upwards when the class starts applauding. oh. minji and jiwoo both bow and take their seats again.
“alright, i think we have time for one more?” mr lee says to himself, scrolling down on his mouse. he looks up, “jihye and y/n?”
you gulp, standing up with the whispers of comfort from minji and hanni behind you.
(“i hope she doesn’t start crying,” minji mutters.
hanni nods, “that would be bad. but funny.”)
each step you take feels like you’re inching closer to your death. your footsteps resound in your head, echoing louder than the depreciating voices you hear. jihye’s already standing awkwardly in front, fidgeting with her fingers. you don’t dare to raise your head.
“start whenever you’re ready.”
jihye clears her throat, her eyes flitting to the projector screen displaying your presentation.
“we decided to research human attraction,” her voice trails off at the end before coming back stronger, “it’s deeply rooted in our psychology and biology, combining the two, making it an interesting topic. hence, we started with analysing the human brain.” her words, even though they were consistently rehearsed, still felt like music to your ears. you’ve heard her say this exact thing numerous times but anytime that she talks, it feels like time stops.
she stares at you and for a moment, you’re in a daze before you realise it’s your turn.
“there are many forms of attraction; sexual, physical, emotional, romantic and aesthetic. we can be attracted to someone based off their emotional capabilities and not their physical appearance and vice versa,” you click to the next slide, showcasing data and studies from the late nights you’ve spent with jihye researching, “we generally find someone attractive if they have similar interests as us. we believe that they share a common outlook on life and adapt to the same behavioural patterns.”
you don’t need research to prove that true. you know that through all the conversations about music with jihye, it strengthened your liking towards her.
as jihye explains further, you can only gaze longingly at her. she’s never felt so far away from you. even her body language, turned away and facing the class instead of you.
“there’s been numerous studies done on human attraction but no one has been able to accurately define what is attractive to us. due to the complexity of the human mind, we can’t really outright state that something attracts us,” you explain but you can’t disagree further.
you can most definitely define what attracts you. a cheerful and silly girl from australia that’s for sure.
“yet, despite the science and psychology behind human attraction, there’s been a lingering question of whether we truly feel attraction or we’re forced into it. people who are asexual and aromantic may not feel the same as us. attraction can’t be measured. this begs the question of whether attraction is spiritual in nature. some may say that they feel an undeniable connection with another person, deeming it to be their soulmate,” the word leaves a bitter taste on your tongue. it’s scalding and toxic. soulmates. what a phenomenon.
“the idea of fate is popular. maybe the universe has created your destiny in such a way that you would end up with this person no matter what,” jihye says, “that’s what attracts you to someone you barely know.”
you barely knew jihye. she was just another crush out of your league. yet, she still ended up meeting you. was it fate too? you don’t believe in soulmates, but if you did, you would want jihye to be yours.
“their one true love,” jihye repeats, “even though a person can experience multiple forms of attraction. they believe in finding a soul destined for them. there has been no evidence that people are fated for each other. but it’s a nice thought, isn’t it?”
the rest of the presentation goes by in a blur as you think about jihye’s last words. fate. what a funny thing to say. it is a nice thought; to have someone out there, waiting for you to come into their life.
perhaps it truly was fate that you were assigned to be jihye’s partner. maybe every single time you’ve met her, it was fate. and every single time you didn’t, it opened up another reality where you would eventually end up at her door, apologising once more. maybe in every single universe, you were doomed to a life of misery, caused by your own foolishness.
and maybe if you never clicked on her tumblr blog, you would go on with your life, never knowing if that girl in high school ever liked you back.
“—thank you, y/n and jihye.”
you snap out of your reverie when jihye nudges you slightly. blinking a few times, you head back to your seat wobbly.
“are you okay? you kinda zoned out there,” hanni whispers. you nod, still trying to steady your bearings.
everything you’ve thought about. it doesn’t matter anymore. it has never mattered because in the end, you’re not the one destined for jihye. maybe she deserves someone better. someone that has enough confidence to believe in their own capabilities rather than resort to such ways. there was never a need for you to invade her privacy. should you even try to ask for forgiveness anymore?
you still should. because jihye deserves a proper apology, even if you don’t deserve her forgiveness.
“hey, after this i’m gonna stay back to talk to danielle for a bit,” you inform minji and hanni, who both simultaneously light up.
as the class ends, you pack your bag extra slowly, keeping a close eye on jihye. her hands tremble as she packs up. you wonder if she’s okay. everyone soon leaves and just as jihye’s about to exit the door, you voice out, “can we talk?”
her head turns and there’s a look of exasperation and confusion swirling in her eyes before she nods.
“y-you don’t have to say anything… or forgive me but i just want to apologise properly,” you mutter. jihye nods again.
taking a deep breath, you sigh, “i know i really messed up and it was a decision i made consciously. that i won’t deny. i was just desperate and it caused you harm, so i shouldn’t even have the right to continue liking you. but i want you to know that my feelings are true and i’m not lying about liking you. so, i’m sorry for invading your privacy like that.”
jihye tugs on her bag strap nervously, bouncing on her heels as she whispers, “i don’t know if i can do this.”
you feel a sliver of hope and joy that she isn’t outright rejecting you.
“th-that’s okay,” you struggle to mask your happiness, “i just wanted you to know how much you matter to me. if you don’t want to pursue a romantic relationship. i really would like it if we stayed friends too… i just need you in my life, danielle.”
the brunette nimbles on her bottom lip, her face full of uncertainty. you want to squeal at her cuteness. she looks even prettier today, maybe because it’s been so long since you’ve seen her up close. you take the time to admire her facial features in case she gets a restraining order on you.
”i like you too, but…”
“you can’t trust me?” you complete the sentence for her. and even though it hurts, jihye nods. you chuckle, “that’s okay. what can i do for you to trust me again?”
“you really hurt me.”
“i know, i’m sorry.”
jihye frowns, her eyebrows furrowing in concentration, “when did you start liking me?”
“when i moved blocks,” you admit. you have an inkling jihye just wants to embarrass you but even now, you don’t mind. it feels like deja vu when you first confessed, but maybe the girl blocked out everything from that night. you would want to forget it all too. “i saw you in the hallway and kind of got a hallway crush. then i kept noticing you in my classes.”
“what do you like about me?”
oh, this was easy.
“i like a lot of things about you, maybe everything,” your answer brings out a gorgeous blush on her cheeks, “i like the way you smile at everyone, the way you always look for the good in people, the positive outlook you have on life. i really adore the way you smile though.”
jihye turns her face away but you can even spot the redness heating up on her face. now your reply seems a little corny.
“sorry,” you mumble.
“it’s… it’s okay. i appreciate it,” she smiles. oh my god, she smiles— “most people just talk about my looks.”
“you’re beautiful, both in terms of appearance and personality.”
the brunette laughs softly and the sound is so delightful that you could cry. clearly your answers made jihye’s walls shrink slightly.
“i really like you, i swear,” you try to say earnestly, “if you push me away, i’ll accept it but i can’t promise that i’ll stop liking you.”
jihye shakes her head, “you can continue to like me and… i don’t think i want you to stop either.”
your eyes light up as you take in her words.
“does that mean—”
“yes y/n, i’m forgiving you,” jihye sighs. you can barely control yourself when you reach out to embrace the girl, throwing your arms over her shoulders and gripping to the back of her uniform tightly. neither can you contain the tears that fall, your contentment bursting at the seams and the adoration for jihye exploding in your heart. she relaxes in your hold, rubbing your waist gingerly.
“don’t mess up a second time, okay?” she teases cutely. you nod fervently, “i swear i won’t. i like you so much.”
you sigh happily, “thank you, danielle.”
there’s a moment of silence before jihye utters,
“call me jihye.”
masterlist | next
🎙️ author’s note: andddd tumblr girls has officially ended! i’ll try my best to come up with an epilogue of jihye and yn but as of now, this au is finished. thank you to everyone who has supported tumblr girls!! unfortunately i couldn’t finish it on tumblr girl’s one year anniversary (one year damn.) but at least it’s somewhere close LOL anyway i hope that you guys all enjoyed tumblr girls 🤍
