Okay so I just binge-read With This Ring and felt like I walked into a glass door realizing there was still a chapter missing. So... What are we doing about this? I thought it was safe, but I was mistaken and now I'm in your inbox pestering you about an update. Happy New Year! New Year, New Motivation eh? It's been such a wonderful read and will be eagerly waiting for what I can only assume to be a wonderful finish. Take care : )
Hehe, sorry love! I have started it but I’ve had a lot of things going on in the past month which have made time for writing super hard. Fear not though, i will finish it and it will be posted soon. Needless to say, it will be fluff personified (which is not my usual style but hey, i like happy endings!).
This was just about the dumbest idea she had ever heard. Marry a guy she barely knew??
But sometimes desperate people do crazy things. And crazy things can sometimes be the best things you ever do...
Also on AO3 and FF.NET
Leaving Ms. Mills office, the pair walked silently back to the elevator. The interview had gone well. For over an hour they had knocked out strong answers to every question. It had felt natural and easy… well, not exactly easy. The emotional truths that had been exposed had seen to that. And now Emma didn't know what to say to him.
She had never been more nervous than when the steel doors closed and left her and Killian alone for the first time as they descended to the first floor. As the metal box seemed to move with frustrating slowness, Emma's heart seemed to beat out every millisecond.
Her head hurt. There were too many thoughts fighting for attention inside her brain. Her life was somersaulting around her and the only thing she could think to do was to the cling to the man at her side. She wanted to speak. She needed to say something-
But she was scared.
She loved him and she wanted him and she was done lying and pretending that she didn't care.
And what if it was too late?
/
If only he could read Emma's mind. Yes, he could watch her body language and try and decipher the thoughts that passed behind her pretty green eyes but overall he was clueless. The silent elevator journey had wound him tighter than a bowstring. She hadn't spoken since they closed the door of Cora's office. Killian himself daren't utter a word.
He was worried.
Everything that had been said over the past hour had driven him to only one possible conclusion: she did have feelings for him. Strong ones that possibly matched his own-
(Could he dare believe she might love him too?)
But now he didn't know how to broach the topic without pressuring her or making her feel uncomfortable. He'd seen how Emma reacted to situations in which she felt out of control before and reliving that experience was not something he relished.
So he stayed quiet, placing the ball squarely in her court.
/
It had only taken a minute to hail a taxi. Not enough time for the silence to become awkward.
(Even though her mind was screaming at her to say something.)
They climbed inside, leaving a gap between them - though the backseat of a New York City taxi could hardly be considered spacious. Her hand rested lightly on the seat. She was so keenly aware of his presence beside her. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end. She could feel her pulse just below the surface of her skin pounding away.
Her throat was dry. Her stomach tied in knots.
Why was this so difficult?
Her fingers splayed out wide, inching closer to his...
/
The grey streets passed by, consumed by a fine mist of late afternoon rain. The windows of the cab were misting over, obscuring the view, yet Killian's eyes remained stubbornly fixed on the foggy glass. Fear was still holding him back from saying anything.
But his hand inched towards hers, unconsciously almost, ghosting along the cracked leather. He was craving her touch, or any contact to resume the connection between them.
He was jolted from his trance when he felt the searing sensation of her hand quickly grasping his, intertwining their fingers. Killian's breath hitched and he swung to face her. Simultaneously, she did the same - her lips slightly parted, a little furrow between her brows-
Her eyes wide and clear, seemingly bordering on tears as they glistened with the light from the passing cars and street lamps.
What he saw in her eyes was everything he had hoped he would one day. Tenderness. Warmth. And perhaps even what he wanted (and feared) the most-
Love?
His heart swelled in his chest and before he could process this new information, this new piece of the puzzle of Emma Swan, she leaned in with her whole body and crashed her lips into his.
And just like that, all tension and worry melted away in a whirl of soft lips and probing kisses.
/
Kissing him was, in a way, the cowards way out. But Emma knew it was as much a delaying tactic as it was formed from a desperate need to feel close to him.
Such passioned want seemed to flow between them that the ride back to the apartment passed in a blur. Retaining a modicum of restraint was possible only by the circumstance of a tiny back seat and a taxi driver as an audience.
They seemed to dissolve into one another. She was burning up under her winter layers. His hands cupped her face, thumbs running over her cheekbones as she tilted her head and deepened the kiss. She let him lead, content for once to not worry about the meaning of every action-
Until the clearing of the cab driver's throat announced that they had arrived.
They paused, inching away from each other. She knew her cheeks must be as flushed as his. His eyes were bright-
And damn. He was smiling.
/
He tossed a twenty at the driver, barely registering the thanks for the huge tip. She was outside the car before he had made his way around it. She stood clutching her purse, a small, almost shy, smile smile just flickering at the corners of her mouth. And there was something else in her eyes that he had never seen before. Something that looked like hope.
This time, he took her hand. She accepted without a word, pressing her fingers against his as they took the few steps to the apartment. Another moment of silence. Another chance for him to worry as they took the staircase upwards.
His hands shook as he reached for the key in his pocket. His fingers caught the ridges of the key and it slid between them as he pulled it free just as they reached the door.
He was so goddamn nervous - hadn't felt even close to this way about being alone with a woman since the first time he'd had a girl in his bedroom alone as a teenager.
And this was so much more.
The key slipped from his grasp as he pointed it at the lock. The bundle clattered as it landed on the floor, the sound echoing wildly in the bare hallway.
And she laughed.
A small, nervous laugh that made his lips twist into a smile as she quickly scooped up the keys and slipped by him to open the door.
/
Emma floated on a bubbling cloud of delirium sent her hurtling into the apartment. She couldn't get the key into the lock quickly enough to satisfy the need inside her.
She needed to kiss him.
Grasping his face, she resumed their earlier embrace as the door swung shut behind them - the eerie afternoon silence of the apartment punctuated by their heavy breaths.
She was swimming in his adoration, drowning in him as he pushed her back against the door and poured passion against her lips-
And then her phone rang.
The insistent vibrations rang out in her jeans pocket until she had to pull away and take a look at who was calling. Killian continued to layer torturous kisses down her neck as she pushed her fingers into the pocket and pulled out the offending implement. BELLE flashed up on the screen.
Sighing, Emma pressed a hand against his chest, gently pushing him away as she mouthed her friend's name, Killian nodding lightly in understanding. Emma's eyes lingered on his slightly swollen lips as she pressed answer.
"Hey Belle," she said breathily, trying to sound as natural as possible.
"Emma!" she squawked down the phone, her voice ringing in Emma's ears as she continued, "How did it go? Was is okay? Did you stay calm? How's Killian-"
"Geez Belle, take a breath, okay?" Emma smiled faintly, meeting Killian's eye and feeling a flush of heat pass over her cheeks. She turned a little aside, catching her breath. At the same time Killian had taken a step backwards and was peeling off his wool overcoat. An unfamiliar warmth was beginning to spread over her body. "It was fine, I think. We'll know soon enough." She just knew her friend was going to ask another million questions so she pre-empted her by adding, "Look, can we talk later, I'm just in the middle of something."
Down the line Belle chuckled, "Of course, I'm just- Wait, what do you mean in the middle of something? You're not back at work already are you?"
Damn her inquisitive nature. "No… I just got back to the apartment and…"
"Is Killian there?" Belle asked in an almost whisper.
"Yes…"
"Say no more. Call me later. Wait, in the morning, I can definitely wait until the morning."
"Belle…" she began, but before she could continue the line went silent.
Slowly she stuffed the phone back into the pocket, shrugging off her coat as she turned back to face Killian.
His face was flush with something that looked like hope as he stood somewhat awkwardly a few feet away from her. And damn all she wanted to do was close the gap and tumble back into his embrace.
But the rational part of her knew that before they could do any more, they needed to talk.
"Coffee?" he asked, seemingly reading her mind, an awkward little shoulder shrug accompanying his words.
"Sure," Emma nodded, biting her lip.
It was now or never.
/
Killian scratched at the scruff on his chin as he waited for the kettle to boil. A fine mist of steam was already rousing from the spout by the time he had the two mugs prepared with a spoonful of instant coffee in each. He knew she preferred the coffee machine but this was just quicker and right now he couldn't stand the thought of any more delays.
He quickly prepared both cups - her's with two sugars and cream, his black, one sugar. His hand shook a little as he stirred the drinks.
Today was the day he had been hoping for - when she would consider opening up to him in some way. But now it had approached, he couldn't pretend he wasn't a little scared.
"Hey," she chirped as he reentered the living room holding both mugs. She looked at least as unsure as he was - and equally she seemed to be trying to hide it. "Do you wanna…" she looked at the couch, shrugging in an unexpectedly shy manner.
"Yeah," he replied, handing her her drink as they both sat, silence enveloping them.
It seemed impossible that five minutes earlier their lips were pressed together and their hands had been locked on each other's bodies- Now Kilian felt awkward and strange. He didn't know what to say as he pressed the warm rim of the mug against his lips.
"Did you mean it?" Emma asked suddenly, making Killian start and almost spill his coffee.
He turned his head to hers, eyes lingering on her profile as she stared ahead, one hand holding the cup and the other balled in a fist in her lap, "Did I mean what?" he whispered, a little perplexed - this was not a question he had been expecting.
She seemed to hesitate, knuckles whitening as she clutched the handle of the mug tighter.
"Everything?" she asked, trembling.
Beside her, he sat still, running over the events of the interview in his mind, recognizing only then with some clarity just how much honesty had came through in his answers.
"Aye," Killian he admitted in a low, gravely voice, barely above a whisper. He had meant every sentiment that had been expressed. "Emma-" he paused when her eyes flashed to his in surprise, her body curving away from his, just enough for him to notice. He sucked in a sharp breath, instantly coming to the conclusion that this moment of openness was premature, that he'd been mistaken and she wasn't really ready for any of this-
/
It was a lot to process.
She'd thought it was real.
Everything he had said had been real.
But hearing the confirmation was something else.
Pulling back from him had been an instinctual reaction honed over many years. The pain in his eyes though, as she leaned away from him had taken her by surprise.
He cared. He really did care about her.
"Killian, I… "
He met her eyes again. She reached forward and placed the mug on the table in front of them, he copied and placed his hands in his lap. Then, composing herself, she took a deep breath, stilling her emotions before revealing what had never been much of a secret anyway-
"I love you," she choked in rapid fire syllables, her heart racing as the truth of what she was saying hit her. "I'm tired of pretending it doesn't matter - that I don't love you and that this is all still just a business arrangement…"
Before she could say more, Killian was grasping her face between his hands, searching her eyes-
"You mean that?"
She nodded, tears forming at the corners of her eyes, her own hands finding their way to him, resting gently on his thighs as he continued to study her face. "Yes."
"Because if you're not sure-"
She pressed her lips to his, wanting him to stop talking. Actually, needing him to stop talking and make him understand that she meant everything. Every word. Everything he said to Cora that seemed to drip with genuine affection and devotion. Everything that came out of his mouth in that room made her heart swell and break all at once.
The kiss evolved as their lips melted into one another, telling tales that can't be shared with words. Fingers slid into hair, the gap between them disappeared until she was half in his lap, pressed up against his chest, pouring out her feelings in a kiss.
Gasping for air, she finally paused, pressing her forehead against his.
"I love you," she repeated, feeling a smile form on his lips as she cradled his face. "And I'm finally not afraid to say it."
/
He wanted to pinch himself.
He'd hoped for her to open up; he'd maybe even expected some encouraging words-
But this?
"I never thought-" he began, quickly changing his mind and pressing another quick kiss against her lips. The time for self doubt was clearly now passed. "What I mean to say is, I love you too. I have for months."
It felt like a weight being lifted from his shoulders, finally being honest with her about how he felt. "I tried to hide my feelings. I just didn't think you felt the same way…"
There was a moment's silence as they both seemed to digest their matching revelations.
"Now what?" she asked tentatively… seemingly not wanting to break the perfect moment of their declared love.
And he too was scared to say what needed to be put forth between them. Love was one thing, but trust - that was another.
Entwining their fingers, he pulled her hands into his lap, meeting her eye to eye. "Can you… Will you trust me with your heart Emma?"
She was breathing heavily, her eyelashes began to flutter-
"I know you've been hurt in the past-"
"But not by you. You've never hurt me, Killian. I see that now I've been judging you based on the actions of other people and if things were reversed I would hate that. And I'm such a goddamn hypocrite-"
"Shhh," he hushed, running a calming hand over her cheek. "Stop beating yourself up, love. None of that matters now."
Her heavy breathing eased as she melted into his touch.
"Can you trust me?" he asked again.
This time she replied without hesitation.
"Yes."
A/N: Thank you for being wonderful readers and leaving such supportive reviews. Thank you to Jenni, my lovely beta, and to the wonderful Tiffani for her excellent advice and suggestions.
Okay, so it only posted a couple of hours ago but I am BLOWN AWAY by the response for the latest With This Ring chapter. Seriously guys, thank you.
Because of that I’m feeling super motivated to get the rest of the chapters done (3 or 4 to go I think!). And with that, I need to start thinking ahead to my next multi.
What do you guys want to read? I’m all about the AU’s and the tropes, and I like to be a little original if I can. I have a few little ideas but if you have any of your own, reblog this and add them or send me a message.
This was just about the dumbest idea she had ever heard. Marry a guy she barely knew? But sometimes desperate people do crazy things. And crazy things can sometimes be the best things you ever do…
On FF.NET (https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11286660/1/With-This-Ring) and A03 (http://archiveofourown.org/works/4056379/chapters/9128056)
