Shrinking Away by Jim Northrup
Survived the war but was having trouble surviving the peace Couldn’t sleep more than two hours was scared to be without a gun nightmares, daymares guilt and remorse wanted to stay drunk all the time 1966 and the VA said Vietnam wasn’t a war They couldn’t help but did give me a copy of the yellow pages picked a shrink off the list 50 bucks an hour I was making 125 a week We spent six sessions establishing rapport Heard about his military life his homosexuality his fights with his mother and anything else he wanted to talk about At this rate, we would have got to me in 1999 Gave up on that shrink couldn’t afford him wasn’t doing me any good Six weeks later my shrink killed himself--great Not only guilt about the war but new guilt about my dead shrink If only I had done a better job I could have kept on seeing him I thought we were making real progress maybe in another six sessions I could have helped him That’s when I realized that surviving the peace was up to me
