#jinglebbomb

[namjooner-blog]

jinglebbomb replied to your post: whos the 1 in spica w the cute lisp

jiwon!!! 🌸

thank u!!! i lov her and boa so far

[baebsaes]

I’m sorry.

And no one likes being attacked.

So I tried to make a joke out of it. I tried to ignore it. But there’s really no ignoring this, not really. Not when people want to make it an issue and I guess I’m the heart of it, arent’ i?

So I’m sorry—I really am. And there’s a lot to be said about sexualizing idols and whatnot, but I do realize now that what I did was wrong and I’m trying to change it for the better, I’m trying to learn from my mistakes, and I hope you guys see that.

And I know my side of the story never really matters—ignorance is ignorance, and I’m still trying to learn, but here it is anyways for what counts, for whatever you guys want to make of it

I was raped when I was 12, it’s in my FAQ, I don’t try to keep it a  secret because really, it’s become a part of who I am, and I know that’s not an excuse and neither is my being sexually abused by the 43 year old man who lived next door for the year or so after that because I was young and confused and he seemed so much wiser than I was, so much more experienced, so I listened to him, I trusted him and told him my secrets, I let him do what he wanted to me, without thinking too hard about it even if I went home and cried afterwards because he told me it would always get worse before it gets better—

And maybe that’s why I didn’t think a 3 year age gap wasn’t that bad, because 12 to 43? That’s 31 years.

And you can call me tainted or digusting or whatever you want, you can hate me and drag me and say what you will; trust me, it’s nothing I haven’t heard before. And that’s the reason, maybe, that I was so insensitive to sexualizing people, because it’s been done to me my whole life, so much so that I didn’t think twice about it before now. I’m not trying to get pity, just trying to reason things out to myself, map it out and see where things went south. And maybe this is it.

I have grown up with the notion that this isn’t as bad as it really is and maybe that’s why I flinched so hard the first time someone tried to call me out on my mistakes.

I was wrong. Maybe I still am.

But please, know that I’m trying.

Telling me that you hate me won’t make it any better. You have every right to hate me. You have every right to feel disgusted and uncomfortable.

Then there’s the issue of sex in general, why people are so adverse to it, and why the term thirst is so… controversial? Is it wrong to have a sex drive? Or to think about it, even voice what you think about it? And I know now that sometimes, it can be wrong. And there were times when I was.

There will be times where I still am and I’m asking you guys to help me because I might not be able to see it. I didn’t till I sat down today and really thought about how huge the implications were today, and I’m sad that it took me this long, but better late than never right?

It’s going to be a new year soon and I hope that I’ve learned if nothing else this year, than this, this because as much as it hurts me now, I know that there are people who suffer from the words that I say, because I know how heavy words are and the kind of power they can have.

But I want to know, where do we draw the line? Where do I draw the line?

Are fics okay? Are they not? Is it too much to fantasize? How wrong can thoughts be before they’re considered really wrong? When you put them out for the public to see? When you realize yourself that you’re thinking them?

What of writing and fiction? How do those things measure and quantify and when is it okay and when is it not? Do state lines matters? Country boarders? The age of consent in Japan is 13 and does somehow factor into the equation?

I just want to know how to grow.

And I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

I’m. Sorry.

I don’t know how much this will mean but trust me when I say that I do really mean it. And I hope that people can see it that way.

[jeongguk-moved]

ukwon is so pleasant, beautiful, wonderful, amazing, glowing, iconic, radiant, legendary, relatable

[jeongguk-moved]

suga, bbomb/ukwon, sunny :~) (tht's four but Yknow)

...in that order tbh

[mabuhaay]

jinglebbomb replied to your post “jinglebbomb replied to your post:i want to die tbh (((((((((((-: do...”

u wldnt be wasting my time! :-) & i understand tht sometimes people just want time to clear their heads themselves! feel better you're the best ❤️

than k u babe i rly,,, i rmly appreciate it i just

im rly lo st abo ut hiwo i feel abou evrything and sch oo l nd afmily isnt helping at a ll 

iv e mad eso many mistakes ihate,,, m  yself

[mabuhaay]

jinglebbomb replied to your post:i want to die tbh (((((((((((-:

do you wanna talk? i cant be online much longer & i dont have my phone but we can talk with the given time if you want to!

thank u so much but,,,,,, im  a terribl e perosn i dont want to wast e ur time bu than k u a lot