well. this is not something i expected to be posting - let alone writing - anytime soon, considering everything else i have going on, but @zekeyeagervevo planted this worm in my brain and this was the result that exploded out of me. hopefully some of you guys enjoy lol
read on ao3 | wc: 1.8k | cw: jinshi x f!oc, non-canon setting, fertility goddess oc, kidnapping, jinshi is offered as a sacrifice, first meetings
Jinshi didn't think he'd ever been this terrified in his entire life. One moment he was enjoying the peace of his family's gardens, then next he was being jumped by two men he'd never seen before. They shoved a bag over his head, bound his wrists, and dragged him away before he could even call for help.
Everything that happened after was a blur, unfamiliar voices surrounding him, talking in hushed words about taking him to the local shrine and sacrificing him to their fertility goddess to appease her. He could feel his heartbeat everywhere, panic surging in his chest so strongly he thought he might be sick. For the first time since he'd been snatched from his home, Jinshi fought, pulling at the restraints on his wrists with all his might, thrashing his body around and struggling to get away from his captors.
"Let me go!" he shouted, kicking out blindly when he felt someone grab his shoulder to keep him from running away. "I've never done anything to you, What good will any of this do you?"
"Our goddess is angry!" someone shouted back, shoving him from behind. "Your family must be the cause of her anger, because we certainly haven't done anything against her. We have to appease her somehow, and what better way than to sacrifice the heir to the Lord who angered her?"
"This isn't my fault!" Jinshi insisted, though his blood had run cold at their words. "I haven't done anything, sacrificing me won't help you! Let me go!!"
His struggling only stopped when someone punched him in the chest, all the air forcibly pushed from his lungs quickly rendering him immobile. "You've done more to upset her than any of the rest of us have," a voice spat at him. "Now move, we're almost there."
Though he wanted to fight, continue to argue, Jinshi did as he was told, still catching his breath. He had no idea how many people were with him, but he knew he'd never be able to take all of them on with his hands bound. So he cooperated, walking blindly wherever his captors led him.
Before long, they stopped, and the bag was removed from his head. He winced at the harsh light that suddenly hit him, but once he was no longer blinded, he realized they were standing in front of a shrine. It looked a bit out of place in the landscape, clean and polished and shining in the sun, its paint standing out from brown and green of the surrounding landscape.
"Do not disrespect her," one of the men – clearly a farmer – warned, and Jinshi turned to look at him. "Just because she's going to kill you anyways doesn't mean you can treat her poorly. She deserves your respect and all of our worship."
All he managed was a nod before he was pushed forward once again, the whole group walking into the shrine in complete silence.
"Goddess," one of the farmers called out, voice far gentler and more reverent than it had been when it was directed at his kidnapping victim. "We've brought you an offering. Will you tell us if it's to your liking?" The group of men went silent again afterwards, looking around the shrine almost nervously, though whether their nerves were about being left without an answer or something else was unclear.
Jinshi had never been in the presence of a deity before, so he wasn't sure what to expect; given that he was being presented as a sacrifice, he could only assume this would be a deeply unpleasant experience.
What he definitely hadn't expected was the sudden warmth and scent of peach blossoms that filled the shrine, and the way that the farmers surrounding him instantly dropped to their knees. He looked around, searching for something to indicate the arrival of the goddess he was being sacrificed to, but there was nothing. After a moment, Jinshi realized he could see a soft breeze moving around the shrine, wind chimes and paper prayers fluttering softly in its wake. Though his heart was in his throat, he tracked the movement closely; clearly the goddess was here, but she was choosing not to reveal herself. When the breeze reached him, he startled, caught off guard by the way it brushed his hair from his eyes, as gentle and solid as a hand.
"Your sacrifice is accepted. Leave us."
The voice resonated through the whole shrine, but it was soft, the murmur of wind over rice fields. Wordlessly, the farmers left the temple, their eyes locked on the ground and hats pulled low as they hurried away.
Despite the shuffling around him, Jinshi's gaze never left the spot in front of him, where the breeze that had moved his hair seemed to linger. Once the sound of retreating footsteps completely disappeared, the air shimmered, a human form appeared before him.
She was shorter than he'd expected for a goddess, her body softer, but that did nothing to diminish the gravity of her presence. Her hair tumbled past her shoulders in gentle waves, brown like the rich soil the farmers depended on for their crops, and her eyes glittered like sunrise on the river. The way she stared at him, unblinking and analytical, was unsettling, but Jinshi did his best not to squirm.
"You've never worked in the fields," she said; it was a statement, not a question, but he felt compelled to answer anyways.
"I have not."
"You've never even been to a farm, have you?"
A sudden wave of shame washed over him. "No," he confirmed, face burning. "I haven't."
The only response he received with a hum. She circled him slowly, wordlessly, and he felt her gaze on the back of his neck. He dared not move as she looked him over, though every instinct screamed at him to bolt.
She stopped in front of him again a moment later, her head tilted slightly as she looked up at him. "What is your name?"
"…Huh?"
"Your name," she repeated. "I need to know what to call you."
Why would she need to know my name if she's just going to kill me? he thought, hesitating for a beat as he debated whether he should lie.
"Don't lie to me," the goddess said, a knowing smile tugging the corner of her lips. "I'll know if you're lying. You humans are awful at disguising it."
He dropped his gaze, embarrassed that he had underestimated her, even if it was only for a moment. "Jinshi," he said quietly. "They call me Jinshi."
"Is that what I should call you?" The teasing list to her voice was almost unnerving, though it was outweighed by how soft her tone was.
"You can call me whatever you'd like, Your Holiness."
The goddess laughed suddenly at that, bright and tinkling like the glass wind chimes around the shrine. "Your Holiness," she laughed – giggled, really – and grinned up at him. "That's certainly a new one."
A cold panic rushed down his spine. "I– wh… what do people usually call you?"
"'Goddess', mostly," she said. "Though I do enjoy the few of the farmers' daughters who call me 'Your Loveliness', if I'm being honest." She took a step closer to him then, closer than any woman besides his mother had ever stood. "But you, Jinshi, can call me Dai Lu. Or at least I hope you will one day."
The goddess dropped her gaze to the bindings on his wrists, and with a wave of her hand, the fibers disintegrated, leaving behind nothing more than the red marks from his struggles to escape them when he was being dragged to the shrine.
A moment later, her words finally clicked with him. "Someday…?" Jinshi asked, confused, rubbing lightly at the skin of his wrists. "You told the farmers you accepted their sacrifice, so I thought—" His jaw snapped shut when she looked up at him again, worried that if he argued or pushed for an answer things would not go well for him.
"I heard the way you begged them to let you live," she replied. "I've never heard anyone beg like that. You don't want to die, but you don't seem eager to return home."
Jinshi turned his head away sharply, swallowing thickly at her words. She was absolutely right, and he hated himself for it; he didn't want to die, but he had no desire to return to his life as the heir to an estate, every facet of his life laid out before he was even born. Even this tiny taste of freedom had made him realize how suffocated he felt with his family, though he wished he'd gained this freedom without being kidnapped and offered as a sacrifice to a fertility goddess.
"Jinshi."
Her voice was gentle, familiar in a way it shouldn't have been, and he couldn't resist the desire to look at her. When he met her gaze, her expression had softened, and it made his heart skip a beat.
"I'm not going to kill you."
"You're not?"
The goddess smiled, shaking her head. "No," she assured him, "I'm not."
His knees went weak, and he barely managed to keep from collapsing. "Thank you," he breathed, nearly dizzy with relief.
"You're welcome," the goddess said. "But, Jinshi, there are other ways to be a sacrifice." There was no malice in her words, but they struck him deeply anyways.
Without giving himself the opportunity to overthink it, Jinshi sank to his knees before her; he had to look up at her from this new angle, but something about it felt right. "Whatever you want, I'll do," he said. "Anything at all."
"Anything?" the goddess asked, her smile sharpening the faintest bit.
"Anything," he confirmed. "It's the least I could do in return for sparing my life."
She reached out, brushing his bangs from his eyes just as she had before she manifested in front of him. "Would you give up your life?" she asked, "Would you stay here with me, cater to all my whims?"
"I would," he agreed, almost desperately; he was essentially exchanging one gilded cage for another, but at least here he would never have to worry about being targeted for his status or position in his family.
Her gaze sharpened to something akin to hunger. "Would you be my pet, Jinshi, my lifelong companion?"
"I would." He leaned into her faint touch, looking up at her through his lashes. "I meant it when I said anything, Your Loveliness."
Something Jinshi couldn't quite name flashed in his goddess's eyes, and she tipped his chin up with two of her fingers. "Well then, Jinshi," she mused, "I suppose I'll keep you. Welcome to your new home."
ok i'm trying to get better abt talking about my apothecary diaries oc so i'm gonna answer for her!
jasmine tea : how do you express adoration/care for your partner? how do they express it in return?
i think jinshi, maomao, and dai lu (my oc) all have kind of a hard time showing affection, but in very different ways. maomao best shows her affection for people through acts of service, because doing things for people is what she's always been good at. jinshi i think defaults to gift giving, because he has so many resources at his disposal that he doesn't really have to think about it when he's giving someone something they want or need. dai lu, unlike the other two, is much more expressive with her words, so it's very easy for her to provide the people she loves with words of affirmation, but in almost all other respects she's pretty awkward (mostly bc of her background as a courtesan).
