Ok so I'm always late with replies, and was going through A's (jirkwood) comments on my posts to respond to them, but I'm just literally IN TEARS I'm laughing so much (and this is like the 3d time I'm reading these). So instead of replies I decided to collect them here for posterity because your replies are literally my favourite thing on my blog. Thank you. thank you.
on a gifset in which we see Thranduil on his elk in AUJ:
jirkwood said: HE’S HOLDING ELK REINS, BUT DOES ANY ONE BUY, FOR EVEN A MOMENT, THAT YOU CAN DIRECT A MASSIVE GODDAMN ELK WITH A LITTLE TUG ON THE REINS? NO. THEY’RE JUST FOR SHOW AND HE’S HOPING THE ELK DOESN’T JUST CHARGE OFF THE CLIFF, KILLING THEM BOTH.
on the 'Quentin Tarantino directs BotFA' idea
jirkwood said: AZOG: “THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR BRINGING UP EITHER MY PALE SKIN OR ORC HERITAGE AS A NEGATIVE IS – I COLLECT YOUR FUCKING HEAD. [THROR’S HEAD]” IMLADRIS BASTERDS. RESERVOIR WARGS. DOLGULDUR UNTHRAINED. BOFA IS JUST A MASSIVE PULPFICTION TWIST CONTEST.
on the fetus pace countdown picset:
jirkwood said: THE ARTFULLY ARTLESS WISPY-YET-DAMP-LOOKING HAIR AND THE TOO-SHINY CLOTHES MAKES ME THINK THIS 97TH PIC IS FROM 1997. ALSO THE HUGE-AS-SHIT HAND IN THE 3RD PIC. LOOK AT 90s BOYBAND PICS SOMETIME, THEY WERE ALWAYS HUGE-HANDING AT THE CAMERA. LEE’SYNC.
on the screencaps with the rivendell elves saving Thorin & Co from the orcs
jirkwood said: RE: YOUR TAGS, I ACTUALLY LIKED THAT THE SCUFFLE WAS HEARD AND NOT SEEN, SO I CAN IMAGINE THE ELVES AND ORCS WERE TAKING THE PISS AND MAKING BATTLE NOISES TO SCARE THE REMAINING SHIT OUT OF THE DWARVES. IN MY IMAGINATION EVERYONE IS A HILARIOUS DICK.
on my post in which I lamented the fact that only the most fugly graphics get lots of notes:
jirkwood said: "AND IT WAS SAID THAT ONLY THE MOST EMBARRASSING POST TEXT WOULD ENDURE, SPURNING ALL REVISIONS, SPELLING ERRORS AND 4AM GRAMMAR RUNNING WILD O’ER THE BLOGS OF THE PEOPLE, SO THAT ALL MIGHT LOOK UPON THEM AND JUDGE. FOREVER SHALL THE SOURCE CRINGE."
on the topic of technology in times past (and scanning orlando bloom pics for my website):
jirkwood said: OH SURE IF YOU WERE ONE OF THE FIVE RICHEST KINGS IN EUROPE YOU’D USE YOUR SOLID-GOLD SCANNER TO SCAN YOUR ORLANDO PICS, BUT US COMMONERS WOULD HAVE TO TAKE SHITTY 1.8 MEGAPIXEL PHOTOS OF THEM WITH THE SCHOOL DIGICAM -1CAMERA FOR THE WHOLE SCHOOL!
on the possibility of lee pace and richard armitage doing interviews together
jirkwood said: [INTERVIEWER] THANK YOU FOR THIS INTERVIEW! [RA] NO THANK YOU! *IS TALL* [LP] HAHA, I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT *IS TALL* THANK YOU FROM BOTH OF US. [RA] WELL PUT, LEE *NOBLE NOSE* [LP] THANKYOUVERYMUCH RICHARD *DEM BROWS* [RA] NO THANK YOU! *ARE IDIOTS*
on shipping:
jirkwood said: FUCKING /BOATS/ MAN: NOT EVEN ONCE. IT’S SO FITTING THIS IS ALL CALLED SHIPPING BECAUSE IT’S INSTANT INSANITY JUST LIKE ON A BOAT. YOU’RE STANDING STILL AND SURE, BUT EVERYTHING ELSE IS MOVING AROUND!? NOTHING MAKES SENSE!? THAT’S BOATS FOR YOU.
on multishipping:
jirkwood said: MULTIPLE SHIPS!? WHY WOULD YOU EVER WANT MORE THAN ONE BOAT!? ONE BOAT IS ALREADY LIKE FIFTEEN BOATS TOO MANY. “BOATS,” SHE SAID WITH A DISDAIN USUALLY RESERVED FOR HAUGHTY SOMMELIERS WHEN SOMEONE WAVES AWAY THE WINE LIST AND ORDERS ‘THE HOUSE RED’.
[POSTCARD: 'WISH YOU WERE HEREBOR'] -- MY LORD ELROND, GREETINGS! I HOPE YOU ARE WELL. ONCE AGAIN I IMPLORE YOU TO NOT WORRY YOURSELF, I DID NOT THINK I WAS AT ALL SUITED TO TRAVEL-BY-BARREL EITHER, BUT IN TRUTH I FOUND THE JOURNEY DOWN THE RIVER QUITE RELAXING! SLEPT WELL. WILL BE MAKING A VISIT TO THE SHIRE ON MY RETURN JOURNEY IN ORDER TO RE-SHARPEN & UNBEND MASTER BILBO'S CUTLERY, DO WE NEED MILK? -LINDIR
