The 6am bus to Denver.
I just noticed I draw Clyde asleep a lot.
Maybe I’m trying to sleep through him vicariously.
Inspired by the most amazing cryde fic around,
which I hope you’ve all read at least twice. 💖
The Gist of It (aka. TLDR Sorry, you gotta to read this one. No argument )
‘The best Craig/Clyde story published to date.
No, I’m not exaggerating.
Set during their young adult years, Clyde is a hapless romantic, trying to find something in his life to hold onto. Craig is… well– Craig… he’s made some mistakes and faced his share of problems. This beautifully written, fully-fleshed out masterwork tells the story of their reunion and the two of them coming to terms with just how long-overdue it was. The writing is utterly gorgeous and technically-brilliant, and the imagery– honestly dudes –it’ll stick with you long, long after you’re done.
I cannot recommend this one enough.
You will not be disappointed.’
Fair Warning:
This story was the reason I started writing these things in the first place.
I could sing it’s praises from every rooftop until long after my voice gives out.
You better believe this is going to run long. Like– we’re talking five thousand words plus…
Buckle up buckaroos.
Plot
You know what’s weird? This recommendation turned into the hardest I’ve ever had to write so far, which I find bizarre considering how much I adore this work. I think one of the reasons I’ve been having so much trouble is that I find it very difficult trying to encapsulate the entirety of my feelings towards this story. More than ever before, I’ve been finding it almost impossible to stay objective, to the point of not wanting to give a single thing about the plot away to make certain new readers can experience it as fresh as I did that first time around.
Now wouldn’t that just make for an excellent write up?
But hey dudes, I guess you gotta do what you gotta do… so here we go– in short:
It’s a slow burn read and an especially slow burn for the characters, co-narrated by our two romantic leads (with an introductory chapter provided in Kyle’s point of view), spanning the years of Craig and Clyde’s lives from a failed high school romance to a sudden and quite unwelcome reintroduction after over a decade apart. The main focus from then on out being the gradual reintegration of Clyde back into Craig’s life and Craig back into Clyde’s, along with the fumbling but ultimately endearing mess it all becomes. It’s a slice of life that truly lives up to the name, being effortlessly relatable while also telling a grounded, realistic and very adult-themed story about re-examining old chapters of your life and using them to grow as a person. (Even discovering aspects about people you thought had long since vanished over the years)
I think more than anything, this story reminds me of a sitcom– one of those comforting ones from the 90’s or 00’s, during the peak of its run, were you see it on TV and it’s like spending time with friends you haven’t seen in a while. Everything suddenly clicks and suddenly you’re back in that world, picking up right where you left off. The plot is there, and it’s funny and charming, and inevitably– sometimes a little heart-breaking –but it’s never overwhelming. The story serves the characters, not the other way around. The plot gives way to allow them room to breathe, and it shines all the brighter for it.
Honestly, it’s a brave kind of story to tell, intentionally allowing for a muted delivery and the lack of a primary driving motivator. Under less skilled hands, it’s the kind of plot that could come across as meandering and directionless. But instead, thanks to the utterly captivating writing, it serves its role as a perfect example of understated storytelling– like that perfect splash of color that ties a room together (a simple elegance that Clyde’s attempts at interior decorating during the narrative sadly never match).
Utterly riveting from start to finish, filled with what reads like a lifetime of genuinely magical little moments that’ll make you feel as if you’ve spent as long a time in this world as the characters have.
Speaking of the characters, get ready for some serious gushing dudes…
Characters
This is characterization in fanfiction done to its finest– staying true to canon while understanding the essence of each character to such a high degree that every familiar face from the show remains a familiar face, even as young adults. It blends a wonderful mix of well-known tropes with well-rounded and realistic development; every character fitting both how you remember them, as well as how you’d expect them to grow over the years. To be honest, I was initially worried this wouldn’t be the case when I first came across this story, given the time-frame of the main plot is set long after most of the cast have graduated college– and though yes, they have matured certainly, and understandably changed as a result, the author goes to great lengths to make certain that, first and foremost, you’re reading a South Park story with South Park characters.
Which brings me onto Clyde, who in my mind, is the breakout character of the piece. It’s no big secret that I adore a well done Clyde Donovan– the dude tragically underutilized or flat-out mishandled in many stories, as well as suffering from a severe case of background-character syndrome across the board (including the actual show, so– not all that surprising, I guess). It’s with great pleasure that I can say then, unequivocally, and without a trace of doubt, that this story is like a love-letter to fans of Clyde everywhere. Aside from telling a good chunk of the narrative from his perspective, as well as the in-depth accounts of Clyde’s thoughts and feelings, relationships and personal history that we’re constantly treated to– Clyde is given a proverbial goodie-bag of intensely powerful character moments, fresh and interesting takes on his career, skills and social life, and is such a goddamn sweetheart that he lights up every scene he inevitably steals. It’s hard to not to keep falling in love with the guy at every given opportunity. He’s a fitting emotional core to the story and this version in particular has influenced how I see him as a character more than any other depiction of Clyde I’ve read before or since.
My favoritism notwithstanding, the rest of the cast are equally as charming and well-written when it comes right down to it. Craig is in top form, providing the usual perfect rational personality counterpoint to his emotional dual protagonist, while also meshing seamlessly on a deeply personal level with Clyde that brings out the best in both of them. He’s level-headed and low-key snarky, but cares a lot more than he lets on and has a good heart– even if it’s behind some pretty thick shielding. The pair’s relationship is a sight to behold throughout the entire story, and– without giving anything away –the chemistry is clear for all to see from the very beginning, not requiring any heavy-handedness or contrivance; Craig and Clyde just work together, a matched set that’s frayed around the edges over the years.
Stan and Kyle play important roles, both as Clyde’s best-friends/pseudo-family/protectors (something rarely explored in other stories, and just as endearing as it sounds) as well as the other major romantic pairing (perhaps unsurprisingly to most veteran South Park readers). As it happens, this story was originally penned as a look at Stan and Kyle’s relationship through Clyde’s eyes, and that uniquely original element still remains– mirrored by Craig and Clyde’s relationship being initially explored through Kyle’s perspective in the first chapter. Stan and Kyle’s romance, as well as the characters themselves, are handled with the utmost care and love –no half-measures accepted, with as much of an engaging story arc as our leads (making certain to earn it by constantly engaging with the narrative; never feeling like a distraction or B-plot)
This is par for the course with most key players in the story– no one feels unnecessary and everyone adds something meaningful to the overall narrative; Kenny and Tweek being notable standouts, but even more minor roles such as Wendy, Bebe, Cartman and the Tucker and Donovan families provide some important plot contributions in both passive and active ways. Just like real life, it’s a number of small things coming together that eventually shapes how the story is told. I’m particularly amazed that an entirely original character is introduced at one point, something that usually makes me wary, but thanks to the dialogue, set-up and eventual pay-off, he and his time in the story tends to stand out just as memorably as the interactions between the canon cast (an extremely difficult trick to pull off).
Now I’m rambling a bit, but it really merits repeating that the author’s style just fits these characterizations brilliantly. As mentioned, they’re given room to naturally grow and develop outside of a strong-armed plot structure, and the world they inhabit gives them (as Stan and Kyle’s apartment is once described) a really ‘lived-in’ feel. It’s easy to imagine each of them simply living their lives off-screen, events unfolding independently regardless if we’re there to read about them or not. You can tell a lot of effort went into fully fleshing out these dudes and that comes in no small part– sneaky segue incoming –to the exceptional amount of research, planning and detail that makes up the author’s legitimately masterful style of writing…
Style
To preface this– and really, as a fairly obvious sign of gold-standard quality –I would be shocked, like, completely and totally shocked to find out that Niente (our wonderful author) doesn’t have some kind of classical training; undergraduate level, at the very least– their writing is simply too polished and too well put together for me to feasibly believe otherwise. It feels almost redundant to point out that this story is written to a publishable standard, all the hallmarks of grade-A storytelling on full display from beginning to end. What always makes me smile however is the unique qualities to the writing that push it beyond simple technical brilliance; a certain stripped-back and raw quality is lent to a lot of scenes, letting the work speak for itself and managing to capture these enchanting moments that linger in your head long after you’ve finished reading.
It’s abundantly clear that the author is well versed in the source material, including many clever references that highlight some of the quirkier elements from the show (without feeling fan-servicey or redundant, naturally) while also– perhaps unsurprisingly at this point –somehow often managing to help advance the plot (Remember how the Pope’s a rabbit in South Park? Because you sure will come the end of chapter two). More remarkable still, over and above the clear love of the show on which the story’s based on, is the author’s dedication to fleshing out the lore of this timeline we’re presented. The sheer amount of work in keeping continuity and detailing how things changed and how those changes came about is a real delight to read; like rediscovering South Park again after a long time apart. There’s an author’s note explaining that every off-shoot comment, backstory, or event that we only see glimpses of (Stan and the gangs usual hi-jinks, for instance) have been legitimately thought out and accounted for– even if they’re not included in the narrative –and god damn if that isn’t some admirable dedication right there. Really helps explain how vibrant and alive the setting always feels.
There’s a lot of planning on display throughout the whole story, keeping the writing tight yet eloquent. There’s a real sense of purpose in what’s presented, and it feels as you come to the end of the work, that everything meant something; you leave feeling invested and that your investment was rewarded with substantial pay-offs and true-to-life emotional closure. There is something mentioned in the first chapter, offhandedly, that returns later down the line as a god damn touchstone to the themes presented up until that point, conversations between characters that reference seemingly inconsequential events that are seen in a whole new light from that moment after; It’s moments like these that remind you that you’ve been reading something that’s been lovingly crafted, purposeful in its direction and confident in its ability to deliver on past promises.
One last thing, because otherwise I’m just never going to stop talking and you’ll all be skeletons by the time we’re done (and that’ll make me feel bad– probably). I greatly appreciated the quiet moments in this story. As I mentioned above in the plot, much of the writing can come across as understated– there’s no big, wacky theatrics or ticking clocks; everyone simply inhabits the world rather than chews its scenery. This really does do wonders by tying in with a later theme of the importance of personal feelings over grand displays; there’s something so heart-warming and intimate about so many moments of dialogue, little acts of kindness, or simple stray observations that add this rich texture to every scene. It ultimately makes everything feel more special and important than it might have otherwise been if the need to fit in big ‘emotional/dynamic set-pieces’ prevailed. More than anything, it’s a mature style of writing; true to real-life in that most things aren’t really some grand adventure– but they certainly feel like it when they’re happening to you and the people you care about. The technical bones of this story are rock solid, make no mistake, but– as cliché as it might sound –it’s the soul of the work that carries it above and beyond into something truly special.
Favorite Things
A carefully crafted plot-line that knows when to focus and when to back-off, allowing for some intensely satisfying character drama, legitimately earned emotional pay-offs, and a perfect conclusion that both neatly ties everything together as well as providing enough good vibes to leave you a more hopeful and enriched person by stories end. I legit cried– not going to lie.
Possibly the best Clyde Donovan put to words– a weighty statement to be sure, but there’s something so infinitely refreshing about Clyde’s struggles as a writer, emotional vulnerability, unwavering optimism and kindness that makes this adaption so wonderful. I love ‘Bro Clyde’, don’t get me wrong, but this portrayal will always hold a special place in my heart.
The setting, world-building and lore are a sight to behold– very few fanfictions can boast such a detailed and lovingly well-thought out framework. With so much rich history in both the lives of the characters and the town itself, there simply not enough time to explore it all, creating the feeling of a large and vibrant world, truly lived in by its cast of characters.
A myriad of beautifully quiet moments, tender romantic gestures, and small victories that pepper the narrative– be it Clyde’s conflicted inner monologue as he cleans his apartment, Kyle’s and Stan’s silent conversations told entirely through eye-contact, or Craig taking a moment to wipe clean the corners of Clyde’s mouth with his napkin during a snack; it’s the kind of imagery that really sticks with you.
The themes of gradual re-connection, feeling adrift in adulthood, trying to discover what makes you happy and pursuing it, engaging with your past in order to build your future– I would wager there’s at least one, if not many ideas that will feel profoundly relatable to a lot of readers, and this story does an excellent job of engaging and exploring them with a mix of sincere insight and often times genuine catharsis.
Remember at the start, where I said this was difficult to write? Honestly, I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t, I had to scroll up and look myself– hell, I wrote that sentence like, three days ago or something by now. I said up there that one of the reasons I found this a challenge was that it’s tough to try and list everything you love about something special to you; which I suppose is pretty common knowledge, right? It’s hard to be put on the spot to explain yourself when you feel deeply about something– you always think you’re not going to do the subject justice, or that by condensing your feelings for it, you’re not going to give the full picture, regardless of how much detail you go into.
Honestly, I think I’ve been feeling this way about ‘Let Your Heart Hold Fast’ (brilliant song to name it after, by the way) for some time now– probably since I first read it like, half a year ago. It’s still a story I think about on a regular basis, and really, when something affects you to the point where you’re still thinking about it months and months down the line, it almost feels like your duty to recommend it to everyone you can, if only for the chance that it might give them the same amazing experience you were rewarded with. I’ve been worried writing this that I wouldn’t be able to translate just how much I cherish this story into words, but– you know, I hope I got close enough, and even if no one ever reads a word I have to say on the matter, I sincerely hope that everyone at least reads the story instead.
Because it’s worth it.
I really do believe that you’ll be better off having read it– I know that’s subjective, and that ‘it meant something to me’ means nothing to most, but seriously dudes, trust me here, alright?
This story deserves having people read it, and you all deserve to have more extraordinary things to read in your life.
If it isn’t massively obvious, to the author, Neinte, I can’t thank you enough dude. I can’t imagine the time and dedication– and seriously, the obvious talent and creativity on your part –that must have gone in to writing this. All I can say is that I’m thrilled that you did, and that it’s time well spent, because honestly? The results speak for themselves. You should be so proud of yourself, to have made something so meaningful and well-crafted– you’re a master dude, I’d love one day to be half the writer you clearly are. You deserve the biggest pat on the back imaginable, and you deserve to feel amazing– because really, this is more than just a job well done, this is inspirational work.
Spoilers and art coming up in the next post, I’ll try not to write too much (no promises) –but there’s some more stuff I’m dying to cover (my favorite scene specifically) so hope to see you there when you’re done reading the story!
You know, as always, I’m not thrilled with this art. I drew it a while ago– spoiler alert –and if someone gives me even a week between the time I finish drawing to the time I have to look again, I’ll probably nit-pick that drawing to death. But I suppose I do like the taupe sofa (I spent a while choosing the most neutral shade I could find) and Clyde strikes me as the type who’d wear one of those terrifying Christmas sweaters (which just so happens to match the colors of his old letterman) But to be honest, his face– tears and all –was probably matching mine when I first read the scene this pictures based on…
‘Craig turns his attention to Clyde who has already revealed his present and is staring at it in his lap. Clyde never has had any patience for waiting his turn.
“It’s one of my favourite books,” Craig says. “All the short stories seem like they’re unconnected, but it’s a really deep story. As a writer, I thought you might appreciate the complexities and style.”
Clyde doesn’t say anything. He’s frozen staring at the book. Craig can’t see his expression too well, since Clyde’s face is tilted downwards.
“Clyde?” Craig calls out.
“I wrote this,” Clyde says and he looks up to reveal that his eyes are filled with tears.
He’s smiling despite the tears.
“You wrote that?” Craig asks. “All your books are listed under ‘Clyde Donovan’ and nowhere anywhere is this book connected to you.”
“My publisher thought, since this was such a deviation from my normal style, it wouldn’t sell well under a fiction author’s name. Hence the penname. I hate everything this book stood for because it was my real talent as a writer and yet I couldn’t even publish it as such.” Clyde says, grip tightening around the book. “And now it’s your favourite book.”’
No joke, I think I just did one of those sharp exhales as I copy-pasted that in just now– god, this scene hits you like a sledgehammer; I didn’t realize there was a bull’s-eye painted on my feelings until these few lines took the point-blank shot. Clyde’s book being mentioned back in the very first chapter was something I’d remembered, but really paid no mind to. I figured it was just world-building, perhaps showing that Clyde’s passion came with the unfortunate caveat of being pigeon-holed into having to write things that were popular rather than letting much of himself be reflected in his stories (something fitting his dreary later in life job at the local newspaper).
So heaven help me when it came full-circle to this moment– Craig, estranged from Clyde for years, unaware of its true author, picks up this scarcely published, mostly-forgotten set of stories Clyde wrote, loves it, and later gives Clyde a copy as a present. The book that meant more to Clyde than any other, and his first experience with it, after years of thinking negatively about how poorly it was received– never even having his name tied to it –is to be handed a copy as a Christmas gift by the guy he loves and to be told it’s one of his favorites. Yup, I cried– openly gasped, choked up –the whole nine yards. What a beautiful moment, in a story full of beautiful moments– I could only imagine what must have been going through Clyde’s head when he unwrapped that present. It’s this kind of impassioned story telling that really does highlight how invested you can become– when one of the most powerful relationship moments turns out being the simple act of Clyde receiving a copy of a book he wrote.
CHAPTER ONE
I love the use of Kyle’s POV here– I know Neinte wasn’t too fond of the first chapter because of this one-time use of Kyle as the narrator not being in line with the rest of the story; but it really works in setting up the plot through an outsider’s perspective. It was a lot of fun reading along as Kyle pieces together Craig and Clyde’s secret relationship.
The scene outside the school where Kyle comforts Clyde really hooked me– Kyle tries his best and it’s really sweet. I know Stan might be the more comforting one out of the pair, but this was such a touching exchange and really endeared me to the character.
Cartman’s ability to write an original joke about the history teacher’s age in a single evening made me crack the biggest smile.
Clyde happily running up to Craig after practice, having watched him from the bleachers; especially the line about how, despite his ice-man persona to the rest of the school, Craig saved all his warmth for Clyde. Too adorable dude, seriously.
CHAPTER TWO
Kenny’s entire death, funeral, and same-chapter return was a real scene-stealer of an idea. It’s emotional, then you get swept up in the drama of Craig returning for the funeral, and then suddenly– there’s Kenny, knocking on Clyde’s door. Kudos dude, well played.
I like a lot of the stuff with Clyde dealing with his troubles in this chapter– Stan and Kyle trying to protect him from Craig’s comeback, his frustrations about work, cleaning his apartment for the first time in forever, the moonlit stroll where he gets lost and gets a little weepy – it all really helps you empathize with the poor dude.
The first bits of backstory delving into the impact Betsy Donovan’s death had on Clyde– this really got me good. An integral plot-point to Clyde’s character and done flawlessly.
Craig getting Clyde breakfast was very sweet, as was the little victory Clyde scores by way of an apology from Craig for the way their past relationship ended. I was super happy how they managed to form at least a small connection between them again. Nice little starting point.
CHAPTER THREE
The reveal as to what happened to Craig and Clyde’s relationship pulls at more than a few heart-strings, especially with how happy Clyde clearly made Craig. I loved how at the end of the chapter, Craig corrects himself from lashing out at Clyde over problems with his family like he indirectly ended up doing when he was younger (even wiping away his tears– because that’s not the sweetest thing ever, no ‘sir)
Craig’s commentary on Clyde’s wardrobe and interior decorating decisions is a snarky little ray of sunshine that I’m really glad exists– I love how it subverts Craig from being the ‘boring one’ like he’s so often typecast as.
The dinner at Stan and Kyle’s is a charming little diversion that I really appreciated– and they all read so well? Honestly, all the character interactions just come across as so natural, it’s a delight to read them all play off each other.
The gradual way Craig and Clyde bond is brilliant– I love how we’re only just getting Craig accepting the offer of staying with Clyde at half-way through the story. The build-up feels earned and consistent with the obvious hesitance both boys must be feeling after so long apart, as well as given the rocky circumstances they left things on.
CHAPTER FOUR
The entire section in Denver is a favorite of mine. A nice change of pace– with the big highlights being Clyde’s nervousness in the big city, resting his head on Craig’s shoulder during the bus-ride, and– of course –Craig’s utter delight at Clyde giving his bitchy-ex boyfriend the ‘fucking Clyde Donovan special’.
Craig reconnecting at Stan and Kyle’s party, watching through Clyde’s eyes as Craig becomes more comfortable calling South Park a home again, and rekindling his friendships. Very sweet.
The serious talk Craig and Clyde share outside is an emotional one-two punch, but it’s handled with a great deal of tact– even though it’s one of the more loud and dramatic moments between the two so far, it comes across as very much needed and something that was being built towards. Extra points also awarded in that it’s resolved in the same chapter and doesn’t drag on (Craig cleaning Clyde’s mouth with his napkin after being a messy eater is awfully cute.)
Stan and Kyle’s engagement announcement was lovely– it’s hard not to get swept up in the excitement of it all like the audience was; even though they’re not the main pair, it’s so nice to see how well they’re doing, and it’s a real pleasure to read about from Clyde’s perspective.
CHAPTER FIVE
This entire chapters probably the stand-out of the whole story. Starting it with the way Craig and Clyde got together was a really nice touch, creating that lovely sense of completion as the two finally rekindle their romance at the chapter’s finale.
Obviously the whole gift-giving scene is one of my favorites as mentioned above– but Christmas in general is a heart-warming read, from spending time with Tweek, to the family dinner at Roger’s, and all the way to the cathartic conclusion as Craig finally reprimands his family on Clyde’s advice; proving once and for all that what Clyde thinks means more to him (leading to the well-deserved kiss in Clyde’s old bedroom where the couple began)
Kenny and Craig’s smoke break– apparently the author’s favorite part of the story –and not surprising judging by the way it’s masterfully handled. Kenny comes across as the cupid figure in all this, knowing more than he ever deigns to let on. A really fascinating take on the character.
And obviously, Craig and Clyde’s tearful reunion come chapter’s end– the culmination of overcoming their many doubts and anxieties, managing to finally find a way to be together and realizing how much they mean to each other. A perfect ending to the story proper before the time skip epilogue.
CHAPTER SIX
Stan and Kyle’s wedding comes as a brilliant send-off, to the story and everything else in general– from the wacky hi-jinks that end up messing with the proceedings, the photo-album Stan gifts Kyle, the cameo’s from the many secondary characters, and of course, the way it leads to Craig proposing to Clyde in his own, badly-worded way. Special love to the line about from Clyde about Craig being ‘his boy next door’.
The big hopeful future we’re left on– just like in chapter one, it’s so engaging to read how everyone’s stories turned out. I got a big laugh out of Craig sympathetically pouring his drink into Wendy’s glass as she reports on her mother having moved in with Clyde’s dad.
The reassurance that Craig and Clyde are truly happy with each other– the scene in the limo where they affirm that they love each other for who they are, and don’t need to compare themselves to anyone else hits home hard. Really shows how deep their feelings go, and for so long a time. Summed up perfectly by Craig not bothering to adjust Clyde’s scarf, realizing he likes it just the way it is.
Then, as if it couldn’t have ended any better, the last minute flashback to their first day of kindergarten with Clyde and his parents. Betsy listening in amusement to Clyde’s announcement of his plans to someday marry Craig from the moment they met, and her silent endorsement of the way Craig looks at Clyde like he thinks the world of him. What a touching way to say goodbye to such a marvelous story.
And that’s me done, for real this time– calling it here before this gets any longer. I utterly love this story– I’ve read it a dozen times and I’ll probably end up reading it a hundred more. Thanks so much again to the brilliant @jjamestiberius for penning this masterpiece, I’m not even going to try and pretend this’ll be the last time I cover your work dude– it deserves all the appreciation in the world.
And as always, thanks to all of you that stayed around to read this– I know it’s overly long, so thanks for sticking it out! All I can end with is that I hope you all read this wonderful story, leave a million kudos and just, give all the love you can to such an amazing entry in the Cryde community.
jjamestiberius replied to your post: when ur dog is sick and u want to take her to the...
I hope she’s okay! Maybe she ate something she shouldn’t have? As long as she drinks water and you’re watching her, she should be okay until you’re able to talk to a vet
she's sleeping rn but I've been making sure she drinks water throughout the day. I'll give them a call in the morning to see what they think I should do
Hi there! I'm Sam, 18. My url is from Star Trek after the totally fab Captain Kirk (and the double j is because I actually like how it looks and it's fun to say!). Canada. Single. I like soccer, video games, and reading. I follow you because when I saw you followed me, I checked out your blog and it was just super awesome. I am laughing really hard because of Chris Hemsworth on your blog. How long have you been on tumblr for?
OH yay! I’m so glad you messaged me :D You are lovely!! Sorry if this came a bit late I thought nobody was gonna do that thing and so I’ve been watching youtube videos for like an hour. I have been on tumblr for around a year now I think :)
I was actually gonna reblog this aggressively until I got asks because I really want to meet all of you guys
