The Decline
I denied it a little at first. I treated the new habits as things to shrug off because she still smiled the way she used to. And boy did she eat the way she used to too. There were only brief moments when she had temporarily forgotten where she was and whom she was talking to.There were only brief moments where she had talked aloud as if someone were there. She could still walk a few steps and understand our requests. She was still pretty much herself, I thought. Pretty much.
But, one day, I really couldn't ignore the signs anymore. My logic had run out of ammunition and I finally opened up to reality. During team meetings, my peers would say "she's getting more and more confused” and they would mention the conversations she had with the people she imagined in her room. I saw those things too, but it was too hard to accept it until today. It’s hard to see her family shed tears. If she meant so much to me in these past 7 weeks, I can’t even imagine what’s she’s meant to them her last 94 years. Her decline has come, but it knocked me down the plight of confidence that I had been slowly climbing this summer. Despite her recent agitations and requests for imaginary things, there are many smiles that still come from her. And because I can bet on the kind of person she was before the decline, she'll keep on smiling. Perhaps even dragging a smile or two from the rest of us along the way.
