setting: joaquin & y/m have been best friends & neighbors most of the teen life. joaco hadn't had luck w the opposite sex, meanwhile your muse is well liked /popular / doesnt take crap from anyone and joaquin has been nursing a crush on ur muse forever. joaquin never kissed someone bc he's a nerd && something embarrasing happened and went viral & he doesnt want to get to college not knowing how to snog properly. what could possibly go wrong.
"I know it's a lot to ask but I'm heading to college and I've-" it was painful to admit, even more so to her. "I've never kissed anyone, properly that is and it's embarrasing as hell and you're my bestie and it doesn't have to mean anything. Please? Just one kiss so I know what is like and you know, you can give me pointers. Nothing has to change between us, I just really need this after all that drama i just..." he sighed defeated, this was a stupid idea.
tw: depression, mania, pessimism, general negativity, ment. of blood/death maybe???
The violent hum of the air conditioning and soft breathing were the only noises that filled the small, shitty motel room. There were occasional footsteps walking around on the floor above him, voices gliding past the door, or cars parking outside, but he couldn't hear them. All he could hear, other than the air conditioning that barely worked and his own breath, was the constantly ringing that always filled his ears.
Joaquin couldn't remember how long he had been laying sprawled out on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He couldn't really check, either. The clock in the room had stopped working long before he had started staying there, and the throwaway phone he had bought had been dead for who knows how long. He lightly drummed his fingers against the wrinkled bed spread, which he had made but he wasn't laying under it. He didn't know why he made the bed anymore. No one was coming over.
He wasn't even sure how long he had been in San Junipero. He'd stopped keeping track after 3 months or so, the calender that hung on the wall nothing more than just a decoration at this point, like a decorative towel that was there for looks and not use. He was running out of money. He knew that. He knew he needed to get a job soon. But leaving the motel room was just a chore. People put him on edge. There were too many eyes, two many opportunities for someone to recognize him. The logical part of his mind knew that someone recognizing him on the other side of the country was completely illogical, but he didn't care. He just didn't want to go outside.
His zoning out was interrupted by the feeling of his stomach grumbling, angry that it was being neglected. He swallowed, his mouth dry as he slowly sat up, feeling his bones and joints pop and crack as need be. He pushed himself off the bed and trudged to the kitchen, his socked feet dragging across the floor. He no longer had a gracefulness to his step. He was too tired. There was no point to it. No one ever saw it.
He pulled open the freezer part of the mini fridge provided by the motel, and stared in at the nearly empty contents of the cold box of metal. He grabbed a hot pocket - because he couldn't afford anything else - and tossed it onto a paper plate and then into the microwave. He didn't care what buttons he pressed, he just pressed some of them and hoped for the best. He stared vacantly at the small kitchen's wall, until he heard the beeping of the microwave. Dinner. Or lunch. Or maybe breakfast. He couldn't tell. His blinds were always closed.
He sat the plate on the counter top, staring down at the wrap that was probably still frozen in the middle. After a bit he picked it up, and took a bite, wrinkling his nose at the taste. He never had an appetite. His entire life, he never really did. Food often just made him feel sick to his stomach. He successfully ate half, before tossing it into the trash, followed by him reaching up to run a hand through his hair. He needed a shower.
But he wasn't going to take one. Instead, he walked back over to the bed and sat down, flopping back into a slightly different position than before. He was laying horizontally instead of vertically. That was something new, huh? Really changing it up, he thought to himself, and then sneered at himself in annoyance. God, he was fucking tired.
But sleep wasn't an option. He hadn't been able to sleep properly since his cleanup job. The few times he had, it had been in the same bed as Kevin, with a warm solid mass next to him. Another person. A person who he was pretty sure hated him now. You are a criminal, he remembered, the words ringing throughout his head. "I didn't have a choice," he whispered back, knowing that's what he had wanted to say. He clenched his jaw and unclenched it. Did the same with his hand, pressing his nails to his palm.
His usual tick didn't help in calming him down, though. He tried to take a deep breath but couldn't, sitting straight up as he lifted a hand to his hair, roughly running his fingers through the tangled locks, which had grown quite a bit. He stood and rushed to the cramped bathroom, turning on the cold water and splashing some into his face. It didn't help. He looked at himself in the mirror, trying to take steady breaths. You need a haircut, he thought. He thought as he was going into a panic attack.
And he wasn't sure why, but the thought caused him to let out a soft chuckle. The chuckle turned to two, and then it delved into a laugh, and then into laughter until he was doubling over, holding onto his stomach as tears sprung to his eyes, and he realized that he wasn't sure if it was from his laughter or if he was crying.
A tear trickled down his cheek as he practically fell down onto the bathroom floor, the clutch he had on his stomach morphing into him wrapping his arms around himself in a mock hug, his fits of laughter turning to silent sobs. He felt pathetic. And he knew he was.
He wanted to punch something. Hit something. Or maybe just scream into the air that no one was listening to because he had no clue what else to do. He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know what time it was. He didn't know what day it was. Everything was a blur. Nothing mattered. Did he matter anymore?
He didn't know how long he laid there. His tears eventually stopped, but it still took at least 10 minutes for him to push himself off the tiled floor. He walked back to the kitchen, opening a drawer and pulling out a pair a scissors before ending back up the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror, examining his puffy eyes and red nose. He lifted the scissors to his hair, grabbed a lock of it, and made the first cut.
āĀ i do not get any points for this, joaquin !Ā ā
she pulled her face out from behind her hands ( where she had been hiding in shame ), only to meet joaquinās gaze with a pained grimace.
āĀ if anything i get bad points -- hell pointsĀ ! i get hell points for thisĀ !Ā ā
to his credit, at least, joaquin was smiling -- although it was kind of hard to focus on his expression while he was scratching away at the hives that had erupted across his face and neck. penelope let out a guilty whine as she looked him over, her hands flying up wildly around her as if she could no longer contain the guilt inside of her body.
āĀ i wish you would have told me you were allergic to pineapples before i made you a pineapple upside down cake !Ā ā
@thestarvingsaintsstart cont. from a post that's copied here
Daphne finally let out a breath she didn't realize she had been holding as she listened to Joaquin. She had never been able to understand it but even just being in his presence made her feel more calm than anyone else she'd ever known. Even in this moment, with her practically baring her feelings right out for him she didn't feel scared, she felt like she could trust him. "Well yeah, kind of hard not to since I kept smiling at my phone when you would text me." She admitted sheepishly. She could feel a small blush starting to spread over her cheeks and found herself stifling a laugh.
There was a small bit of panic that blossomed in her chest at the idea that she had freaked him out. What if he jumped up and just ran out? What if he totally rejected her? He wouldn't do any of that, right? She could feel her face twisting into an expression of worry and consciously forced a smile, she didn't need him thinking that she had doubts about anything she had said.
Her eyes widened when he finally responded and Daphne swore that time just stalled. For a moment she thought she had heard him wrong, or that maybe she was even dreaming. But no, they were both here and she had heard him right. He was her's, always has been. Daphne couldn't stop the big smile that speak over her face as she threw her arms around him in the tightest hug she could muster. "You're not kidding right? You really mean it?" She asked, pulling back and cupping his face with her hands. "Because if you're messing with me right now I will start crying and then i'll make you feel bad!"
~~~
Joa welcomed the hug and held onto her tightly, not ever wanting to let go of her. The fact that she felt this way about him was a whirlwind. Not in his wildest dreams he ever thought of being like this. He had dreamed of kissing her and everything else and when all of that happened, he had already felt in Cloud 9 but this? This was a whole new level of stupidly in love with your childhood best friend "Daph, I've never lied to you, not even when it was super embarrasing. I'm not about to start now," he breathed out against her neck--that very kisaable neck of hers.
Pulling away just enough, he kissed Daph's lips softly--he was never gonna get used to this being a reality, he was sure of it--and pulled away to meet her eyes. "I don't ever wanna make you cry. I'm pretty sure it'll happen at some point. You making me cry, me making you cry but I won't mean to, that I'm sure of."
He cleared his throat and wet his lower lip, hesitant about his next words but she had brought up the subject. "Uhm, since we are being honest and all, I wouldn't like to share you either Daph."
"i swear it's true, it was so ridiculous," joaco laughed as he told the story while they were having lunch together. he had been a little worried about her since that day but she seemed okay and these lunches together were the highlight of his day. "so how many more interviews you gotta do? are you enjoying them?"
setting: joaquin & y/m have been best friends & neighbors most of the teen life. joaco hadn't had luck w the opposite sex, meanwhile your muse is well liked /popular / doesnt take crap from anyone and joaquin has been nursing a crush on ur muse forever. going full polin here w joaco asking this of them because something embarrasing happened and went viral & he doesnt want to get to college not knowing this. what could possibly go wrong.
"I know it's a lot to ask or maybe it's nothing but I'm heading to college and i've-" it was painful to admit, even more so to them. "I've never kissed anyone, properly that is and it's embarrasing as hell and you're my bestie and it doesn't have to mean anything. Please? Just one kiss so I know what is like and you know, you can give me pointers. Nothing has to change between us, I just really need this after all that drama i just..." he sighed defeated, this was a stupid idea.
joaquĆn ramon. 18-24. (Xolo MaridueƱa). Big time nerd that loves the stars and is heading to/ attending Caltech (or Princeton, undecided yet) to major in astronomy & physics. He is not all numbers and stars though and has a very romantic & soft nature. he loves his parents (who are annoyingly in love w one another) and lives with them though he has now moved to the basement which has itw own entrance and gives him a little more of privacy. im thinking he never had a serious gf due to the nerd status and self depreciating humor.
dc/arrowverse verse - he is the son of cisco ramon and bree kenobi (at @amomentxofhappiness). He can open rifts like his dad close to people or things he has an emotional connection to. his mom is an empath so his power is a bit of a mix of both. For instance when caitie (kara and barrys daughter) ccidentally went back in time, he was able to open a rift to the past to find her. Anyway needs a bit more polishing and i doubt he's have threads on that verse.
Ps. Piggybacking on the amount of cob.ra kai gifs xolo has joaquin knows karate ofc and attended/attends pauls's dojo (also at @amomentxofhappiness).
