Very personal and I've talked to friends but I only feel a little bit better. I don't think it'll help but God. I'm so tired and anxious. And I want to stop feeling this way.
Customer service workers, have customers you've talked to only briefly and a few times ever asked you to hang out with them? How did it make you feel? How did you deal with it? Especially when it was someone older than you?
Because my family (who have customer service jobs) just agree, it's weird, and they make excuses to refuse, and I get that. But they don't seem to have the same reaction I do. Which is absolute disgust. Feeling violated and uncomfortable in your skin. Like i want to quit. I never want to go back to the store. I want to change my name and change my appearance. Never be found or recognized again.
I just feel such strong revulsion and fear that my anxiety is once again trying to hijack my mind, and I just... I just feel like I'm being overdramatic. Like it's not a big deal, but I can't help it. I hate it happened, I hate feeling this way, but I do, and I'm. I'm angry at myself for feeling this way, angry at the person who thought it was okay to ask, and just angry that I can't help but picture the worst sort of situation.
I just feel so afraid too and verbalizing all this is so hard to my family.
I kinda just want to disappear for a bit. Just surround myself with my friends and hide away.
