@flyingkoalaandsloths replied to your post:
I want to ask about Ciaran but I also want to learn about him as the the story progresses so... Maybe you can talk about Evan and his twin's relationship? Thanks!
Oh poor poor Evan and Joel! They are so tragic.
Evan's feelings towards Joel are complex. Evan knows from a young age that he and his twin were separated in the system. And he knows why: the parents that adopted Joel wanted only a baby girl. They didn't want twins. They didn't want boys. (Later on he'll discover they also wanted a certain look. Joel's older adoptive sister Molly looks related to Joel - and by default Evan - and both look like they could be the parents biological children).
Evan grew up with messy feelings around his twin - he hated that they were separated, he resented Sophie for being adopted and he wasn't, how come Sophie got a family and he got pain via every new foster family, relief that his twin would not experience what he was, etc. And worst of all, there is this gnawing feeling that something was wrong. Something was missing. Evan hated it.
Evan gets a sharp turnaround when he finally does enter Sophie, now Joel's, life. Joel has suffered a lot. They had their own unique hells. And Joel, of course, had had that missing feeling too. Evan has no reason to resent. Evan can only love. Joel loves back. Though Joel is unaware of two things, one I won't get into for plot spoilers, but also the cost Evan gave to come be by Joel's side.
Evan walked away from Ciaran, with Ciaran's blessing, to be with Joel. True, he did it under the assumption that Ciaran would just find him later, but he did it and he left Ciaran vulnerable. Ciaran was immediately taken by the Beauforts and Evan hasn't been with him since. At that point, Ciaran was all Evan had and had ever been allowed to have. He doesn't blame Joel for losing Ciaran. But he also won't let Joel into his life, his history and his personhood, because on some level he feels like coming here and protecting Joel ruined the little he did have. This, in turn, makes Joel feel like Evan is keeping him from ever knowing him in any real way. He assumes it's because he got adopted and Evan was left in the system. But he has no real way to fix it.
(Meanwhile Molly is just everyone's favourite. Evan is so grateful for her, he adores that he got Molly as a two for one with Joel. And Molly totally takes guardianship of them despite being a college senior with a hot gf)

















