#john's trauma

[late-to-the-party-221]

My grandpapa used to always sit with his back to the wall before he had a wheelchair. He sat there so that he could keep his eye on the whole restaurant. 

I think John might be a bit paranoid. Why would he sit facing this direction? He can see the whole of the restaurant if he was facing Sherlock...but this way he can also see the door. Also, sitting beside someone is awkward to talk, but sitting accross is so far away. Sitting adjacent is much better.

[late-to-the-party-221]

ADHD John Watson

Ok so idk how to formulate this, but John Watson is adhd.

He stims (sometimes. It’s probably just martin freeman stimming tho. Freeman taps his hand on his leg & snaps his fingers. John plays with his face though. When they’re saying goodbye with that lead-up for a love confession that fell through, he pursed his lips. IDK if this is a stim or just smth he does.)

He has emotional dysregulation (He has anger issues & emotional outbursts, like when he tackles sherlock in the restaurant; He doesn’t react like a nt to danger, most nt ppl would react more emotionally, but his emotions are dysregulated so he reacts differently; He went from beating sherlock up to getting him Irene Adler’s first aid kit in two minutes; He got into a row with a chip & pin machine)

He says the same stuff often (I was a soldier, I was a soldier. Maybe he feels like nobody acknowledged that, so he needs to say it again so they actually understand him for once)

Recognition Responsive Euphoria (this is the opposite of rejection sensitive dysphoria. His soldier skills are a point of pride for him, another reason he keeps bringing up his service.)

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (He is so hurt by major whatshisface when he mentions John is retired; He is so hurt when sherlock insults his intelligence, that he doesn’t even want to try- like with the shoes that moriarty left in 221c; He’s hurt often, esp when compared to sherlock)

He doesn’t accept Sherlock’s praise (In the hounds of baskerville sherlock compliments him & he just doesn’t accept it)

He is stuck in pattern (Idrk abt this one, but he called sherlock “nurse” when in a medical emergency, & he kept his apartment minimalist when he lived alone)

He went to med school (if we follow the theory that he was poor & from an abusive family with an alcoholic dad, idk how he got the money to go to med school, but becoming a doctor could have been his hyperfixation, & then he would hyperfocus on his schoolwork, which is how he got his degree. Personally, I could never do that, but my adhd symptoms aren’t universal.)

He joined the military (We partially believe this was to escape from his abusive family, maybe also to pay off his student debt, but maybe it was also because he needed the structure. ADHDers often struggle with “basic” things, so he probably needed someone else to provide shelter & food so he didn’t have to think about it himself, hence the military.)

He joined the military (again) (I struggle with summer vacation bc there’s no structure & so I don’t get anything done & it makes me anxious. John could be the same: he needs the routine that he doesn’t need to uphold himself, wake up, shine your boots, whatever. He is in charge of others, adhd ppl can be bossy sometimes, but he also gets to listen to orders. He is given clear instructions, & then he does them. It’s nice to have externally imposed structure when you’re adhd. He didn’t have to make decisions.)

Last time with the military I promise (The military taught him to suppress his emotions- emotional dysregulation solved; they also taught him discipline which ADHDers struggle with. He joined to stop his adhd impulsivity. Also, he joined the military to suppress his sexuality, but that’s just me lol)

He sometimes doesn’t notice things (this might just be bc he’s beside sherlock, but john doesn’t notice certain things, including social behaviour; like in the restaurant scene, he asks sherlock if he has a romantic partner. Is that a normal thing for nt’s to ask?)

John is hyper aware of social etiquette (John struggles with social things, so he needs to memorize them, & has an intense need to be accepted. He tries to be as polite as possible, telling sherlock to thank ppl. & when he interrupts the taxi with the guy from the USA, he stays behind & says if he ever needs anything from the police, just call. that was sooo awkward! very adhd.)

He struggles to articulate his thoughts (at sherlock’s gravestone, when he’s asking sherlock to be his best man, sometimes he just hesitates & can’t vocalize his thoughts)

He doesn’t like to socialize (he does just fine, but I’m just thinking of that time Mike Stamford was trying to get his attention & he ignored him.)

He understands Sherlock (nd ppl have a connection. They understand each other better than a nt could. John picks up on about half sherlock’s stuff, but twice as much as other ppl. If sherlock is autistic &/or adhd, this makes sense. & sherlock is autistic as mentioned, he has aspergers, now known as asd.)

He is best friends with someone who reflects his own impulsivity (Sherlock. Their lifestyle is so impulsive.)

Object impermanence (in the first episode, it’s heavily implied that he’s s**cidal, & he keeps his gun in his drawer. He needs it there bc if it was properly put away, he would forget it. He needs it within reach. I keep my r*z*rs in a rosary box near my bed just like john keeping his gun in a drawer in his desk.)

there’s more I’m sure, but he just gives me adhd vibes. He is more “high functioning” than me, but he still seems a little bit adhd.

- I have grown as a person since writing this post. I still believe that JW has ADHD, however, this post is very imperfect.

[late-to-the-party-221]

You know sherlock, sending an ex-soldier with ptsd into a chemically hyped military base then using sudden bright lights and loud noises might not be the best idea...

[late-to-the-party-221]

Ok so John hates his middle name. Why? It was his father's.

John had an abusive Father, & the fact that his middle name was his dads name, makes him despise it.

He didn't want Sherlock to even know it- Sherlock found out by stealing John's birth certificate.

When he said "John Hamish Watson" to Irene Adler & Sherlock, he was kind of passive aggressive. He didn't like the flirting going on, so he recommended a name he hated.

Idk I'm just speculating.

[late-to-the-party-221]

(Doctor) John: you think maybe you invented this story to cover childhood trauma?

Henry: That's what dr Mortimer says

But I'm also thinking about John's own trauma. Military trauma sure. But it's highly implied that he was abused by an alcoholic father. Idk I don't see how he would have any childhood trauma cover-up, but then again we are NEVER shown any of John's childhood. Maybe instead of covering it up like Henry, he's straight up blocked it out. Idk. I'm just speculating.

[late-to-the-party-221]

John sees a therapist.

He grew up right after a [“Did you hear she goes to” *whispering nervously* “Therapy?”] generation; he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to make the initial decision to go to therapy.

My suspicion: Harry made him go, by threatening to stay with him or smth. Obv Harry cares, she “wants [him] to stay in touch”

Idk. Thoughts?