#johnny gall

[inourwordsblog-blog]

Floating around the internet lately has been a nifty little article about Why The Gays Hate Their Bodies. I probably don’t need to tell you why it’s awful: the entire list is based entirely on stereotypes, positing that all gay men live the same lifestyle of non-stop drinking, partying, going on cruises, buying clothes, and the eternal quest to be skinnier and sleep with someone skinnier.

For the record, I am a gay man, and this is not my life at all. I wear T-shirts all the time, I’ve never been on a cruise, and I have no interest in being skinnier or sleeping with only skinny people. Don’t get me wrong, I like skinny men. Do you know what else I like? Men with big hairy bellies. I don’t see a problem with this. Despite what Orlando Who-cares and Sex and the City might tell you, there are a lot of gay men who do not look like underwear models, and are not looking for men who look like underwear models. The gay community goes way beyond Abercrombie and Fitch. (cont.)

[inourwordsblog-blog]

Our only current examples of what it means to be white are driven by the same outlook that being white just means not being something else; they’re driven not by a desire to explore their culture, but by the desire to exclude anyone that isn’t white. “Black power” is a phrase that unifies a group of people in the struggle to be recognized; “white power” is the rallying cry of bigots who want to assert their superiority based on merits which they did nothing to earn, and have no control over whatsoever. No, if we are to define whiteness, it must not be based in asserting the superiority of white people, but in observing our culture and history, both positive and, in many cases, negative. We must seek out what the white identity is, how it can be harmful to those of non-European descent, and how we can use our whiteness to affect positive change in conversations about race. In fact, we must explore whiteness all the more because whiteness is usually the problem, and though racism exists in every ethnicity, it appears to be something at which we excel.

Johnny Gall, For Their Own Good This Time: Defining and Confronting Whiteness

[inourwordsblog-blog]

You see, in a great deal of modern churches every part of life is expected to be performed with one eye on the afterlife. The question is not whether or not how happy and connected with the spiritual one is at the moment, but whether or not their current actions will send them to Heaven or Hell. Bumper stickers ask readers if they know where they’d go if they died tomorrow; they say nothing about where someone is today. And, if you grew up in the South like I did, you probably know a score of people—myself included—who were drawn into the aisles of a Baptist revival, not by the beauty of God or the strength of his presence, but by the fact that a preacher spent thirty minutes droning on about the horrors of Hell.

Johnny Gall, Family Without Christ: Why I'm A Religious Ally to Atheists

[inourwordsblog-blog]

1. It’s okay to talk to people in bars

I genuinely don’t go to bars to hook up with folks; I go because I like to make conversation with new folks. The only issue with this is that, other than bringing my friend who’s hotter than I am, I have no idea how folks actually start conversations in bars. I mean, I recall a few instances where people started talking to me, but the only thing I can remember is that the beginning of the conversation was about something really inconsequential, like my tattoo or my scarf or the Golden Globes.

As far as that goes, I probably will not notice anyone’s scarf in a bar, and it’s extremely unlikely that I’m actually paying attention to what they’re playing on the TV. So far too many of my solo evenings out have ended after one silent drink.

2. How to cook

If anyone ever asks, I usually tell them that the only things I want out of life are a yard, a dog and a husband I can cook for. Which is why it’s ridiculous how little I can actually cook. Don’t get me wrong; I feed myself. But unless I happen to find the only other gay man in the world who has no problem with eating turkey sandwiches and scrambled eggs every day, I don’t see this getting me very far.

(cont.)

[inourwordsblog-blog]

Yes, despite certain claims that the soda ban is the beginning of a slippery slope, it is in fact the middle; the beginning of said slope occurred subtly, as most do, when Bloomberg banned smoking in bars, a measure which has since caught on; it continued with extreme taxes on tobacco, making the average pack on cigarettes in Manhattan fifteen dollars, when the typical cost is five; it was made with the ban on trans fats in New York restaurants as well as the ban on smoking in public parks. However, Bloomberg’s compulsive need to control the health of New Yorkers doesn’t seem to have irked the population at large until now, which I find highly suspicious.

Johnny Gall, Michael Bloomberg Bans Soda in New York City, and I’m Not That Surprised

[inourwordsblog-blog]

There are actually two routes you can take regarding your Fake-lover’s awareness of the fake-relationship you’ve drawn them into. You can either be completely open and honest about it—letting the object of your affection know of your interest, with the reassurance that you understand that it won’t happen and you’re not going to push it—or you can behave like a normal person and prevent Fake-lover from knowing about your interest at all costs to save both of you from pretty serious embarrassment. Should you choose the former strategy, just remember not to lay it on too thick. Let Fake-lover know you think they’re really cute and that they’re a really cool person, but that you respect their indifference. Each expression of admiration should be paired with two respecting-your-boundaries comments, just to be sure. And by no means should you ever say anything along the lines of, “if you change your mind.” It’s petty. They already know you’re interested, if they change their minds, they’ll still know where to find you without you coming off as pervy.

Johnny Gall, Hopeless Romantic, Not Just for Masochists Anymore: Tips on Dealing With Unrequited Love