#johnnyspeak

[johnnythehomicidalmaniac]

dry cleaning your??? knives?????????????????????????? how. why.

They were dirty.

[johnnythehomicidalmaniac]

hey Nny you probably don't need knives cuz of all your fuckin edge

I have been known, on occasion, to turn around too quickly and accidentally smash a person’s entire face and/or chest in with my elbow. It depends on said person’s height in reference to mine, really. 

So... yeah? I guess? 

Beware the pointy bits and the edges, or whatever. I don’t exactly have much meat covering the stickier-outier of my bones. 

[johnnythehomicidalmaniac]

Have you ever mummified someone?

[johnnythehomicidalmaniac]

If you were a fish, what kind of fish would you be?

I suppose the answer to this one lies in whether one is going by personality, appearance, geographical location, ethnicity, or simply personal preference. 

For instance, one might assume me to be a goldfish due to the admittedly short nature of my attention span. Another might say that I’m an angler fish due to the unappealing nature of what lies beneath my surface level. Yet another might argue that said nature is closer to that of a viper fish, what with their affinity for pointy things– though, I guess that’s less of an affinity and more of a biological factor, seeing as the pointy things they’re best acquainted with are generally just their own teeth. 

And speaking of biology; What of other biological factors? What of my missing family tree, from which I can glean no insight about the species of my parent-fish? Certainly somebody came to the United States from Mexico at some point, but from which region? What fish are local to where? And would birthplace come into play in this scenario? If that is the case, then how am I ever to know? How is anyone to know? Every person currently and formerly in existence could take a wild swing at the question “What fish would Nny be?” and there’s zero guarantee that ANY of them would get anywhere close to the actual answer! MYSELF INCLUDED AMONG THEM! 

There is no definitive answer to this question. 

That being said, if I had to choose for myself I’d probably be a betta fish. They’re sort of hermity little murderfish. (Also, I just think they’re kinda neat. Look how pretty this one is.) 

[johnnythehomicidalmaniac]

What’s poppin murder boy?

Your lungs can be, if you hold in a particularly hard sneeze. 

[johnnythehomicidalmaniac]

I kill terfs

[johnnythehomicidalmaniac]

I got into your comic when I was an 11 year old weirdo going through a goth phase. What do you think of kids discovering your comic, Nny? I'm not trying to go on some moral high ground or something. I still remember that the comic was an inspiration for me as an aspiring cartoonist.

My comic? 

Well, Happy Noodle Boy probably isn’t suitable for all ages (or any ages), but if a kid picks one of my comic strips up out of the tetanus-filled gutter just to get a taste of the inky wisdoms within, I’m sure as hell not going to stop them. And anyway, I’m not anybody’s parent so it’s not really my problem to control what kids read. It’s out of my hands as soon as I release it into the festering breeze of the city. 

Thanks for the kind message, though. Sometimes I really doubt my own creative abilities, so it’s nice to hear that somebody gets enjoyment from all the immense suffering I withstand in order to shit those things out. 

Here's a noodle for your troubles.

[johnnythehomicidalmaniac]

Would you ever work in a Halloween store?

Last time I visited a Halloween store they kicked me out, after I destroyed all of the racist costumes and beheaded the cashier with a prop axe. 

In my defense, I didn’t think it would take her head all the way off. The styrofoam they make those things with now is much sturdier than it used to be.