Nov 18, 2020
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Some out of context gif from my tiktok that apparently people have already recognised me from which is frightening.
Anon is on so request whatever
I googled “Sticky Fingers Requiem” because of the fic I’m working on for BruGioWeek and found this.....
????????
I don’t know if this is like the fanfic that had gone too far, or the most Jojo thing I have ever seen....
IT’S SUPPOSSED TO BE A SUIT. HE’s WEARING SHORT TROUSERS. HE’S BARE FEET. IS THIS BUCCIARATI’S BATHING SUIT??????
somehow I can see that...
Jojoscracklife MasterPost
Title: The Crusaders Bond
Author:jojoscracklife
Summary: brothers make a bond that lasts through all perils
Warnings: crack, swearing, lots of gay and french smut
Word Count: 484
Title: Jewtero
Author:jojoscracklife
Summary: Okuyaso comes to terms with his impending doom and Jotaro grapples with indecision while a mystical force comes from beyond the grave and saves the day of both of these young men with a little help from the land of the dead.
Warnings: crack, swearing, speaking of virginity, phallic references, and blasphemy.
Word Count: 666
Title: Beach Crackies In Spring
Author:jojoscracklife
Summary: Crack baby fanfic with Jotaro and Okyasu on the beach while Jotaro mosies down memory lane.
Warnings: crack, swearing, crack
Word Count: 895
Jewtero
Title: Jewtero
Author:jojoscracklife
Summary: Okuyaso comes to terms with his impending doom and Jotaro grapples with indecision while a mystical force comes from beyond the grave and saves the day of both of these young men with a little help from the land of the dead.
Warnings: crack, swearing, speaking of virginity, phallic references, and blasphemy.
Word Count: 666
Jotoro missed his school buddy almost as much as he missed his foreskin but not enough to make him regrow it like the stoic man he was.
Okuyaso, the faggotty middle schooler who was never circumcised ran up to him begging him for mouth to mouth. the stoic 30 year old did not know much about cpr but assumed if he hummed “staying Alive” by the Beatles he'd be able to rub this young man's lungs back into the proper respiratory cycle of life.
Okuyaso snickered as if he had just bathed a toddler in honey and screamed “floOpy baby” while smaking his own round tookus with a FlY SwAtTeR and yelled “WEEHOO”
Jewtero was beginning to fear that he was losing okuyaso to the realm of death and began to cry his man tears on his man cheeks.
Juturu was not ready to grieve for this young man child who had only just begun having his period regularly. This was all that damned DIO’s fault for being so fucking gay. Time was running out and okuyaso started to choke on the sand we was eating for good and healthy sustenance in his maturing body.
“NoOOOooO!” Screeched the boston terrier that lived inside of jewturo’s heart ever since the real one died. It told him the world secrets and taught him his mother's recipe for the most delicious mongolian squash. But this recipe will not profit in this situation.
“Iggyyyy Azaelia, please help me save my man baby from dying. I must give him a mouth to his mouth but i am a mouth virgin and must save my chastity for marriage!” truly jewtero knew it was too late. That he had waited to long to violate the young pale cherub with his tongue.
“My friend,” croaked okuyaso. “ Please, please…..delete my internet history.” And with that Okuyaso fell to his knees, continuing to spew sand from his mouth.
Iggy reminded jewtero, “jew, maybe its the sand…?” The solution was obvious! But jewtero did not agree.
“WHAT COULD YOU MeAn!? Young boys need sustenance from sand. Make high voice drop and balls toit.” Jewtero would never dispel the man giving powers of sand that his sensei had passed down to him.
Okuyaso paled even more. He turned white like paper and began to tear just as easily. Joketuro tried to hold him together and rock him until the tearing stopped. He even attempted to tape the seams of the tears but in reality, this time, the jews were too late.
Okuyaso became horizontal and spasmed his last breath out. Jewty vowed to kill whatever it was to cause the death of the ages to befall the youth. This adolescent's death shall not be in vain.
All of the sudden, a bright light had shown from where the young adults body had lain. Igyy pissed himself and on contact jewtoru came in his captain america boxers.
The light….it...it-wa-was...jesus! Not like christian jesus but jésus from down the street. He was wearing a very reflective shirt because his mother was a pussy and wouldn't let him outside otherwise.
He was witnessed, burying his hand straight into the gory massive expanse of the child's chest. Before jewty knew what he was seeing, jesus christ was playing the ashy heart of okuyaso like an ocarina, from the legendary legend of zeldy which was his favorite nintendogs game. All of the sudden the boy came sputtering back to life and jesus christus slam dunked his heart back inside his ribs while yelling “coby!”
He then rubbed the baby mans head and whispered “Seemba” and kissed his nose. Okuayso blushed and jewtoru cried with joy. His child was back from the dead. He has witnessed a miracle.
Jesus turned to him and sad “the problem was not the ingestion of sand but for the fact it was not 15 grit. You gave him 23 grit which is only made for dykes and sandwiches on extreme amounts of crack.
JJBA + Buzzfeed (insp)
Hhh