Head empty, only Nook's Cranny Animal Crossing City Folk Music Extended HD. #emocel's for my fanfics here. Reblogging things that gives me ideas.
AO3 for full stories.
I'm also on Twitter for ideas.
A wee update for those who looks up my tumblr for info
I haven't been posting a lot of fanfics in 2023 because I'm in my final years of college and I'm trying to focus with the few handfuls brain cells that i have lol.
I'm still writing though! I haven't post them because:
it's a draft
unfinished
unedited
But! after i graduate, i'll be back on my bs in no time! I have a lot of finished but unedited fics and will be posting in no time. Fics such as:
The final fic of the SasuNeji Series.
Epic Fantasy AU BakuTodo Omegaverse (Questionable on Epic, and barely a Fantasy genre tho). It's a trilogy, and only finished 2/3 of it.
The last chapters of Larry Days
MidoTodoBaku Mystery/Tragedy (one main fic and one epilogue fic)
Even though i've been less active lately, i keep receiving a lot of support from everyone that comes across my fics!
I try to reply to every single one of them, I've read all your comments and tags both here and on AO3!
I just wanna say thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of you for your encouraging and kind support!
EDIT Jan 30 2024:
I'll still publish some fics, but not as oftennn
 Trigger Warning: Graphic depictions of Torture, blood, gore, and violence. Full tag on AO3 link.
++++
a couple of notes:
- I am completely clueless in what happened in Boruto. This is set when Boruto is like 15 and Naruto is saving him somehow. So, here, Naruto and Sasuke is 35 or 36 yo.
- i went into this bcs i wanna dabble into horror for fun, but it just got turned to angst in the end...
- weird realm that i made up
I'm quite clueless in how i should tag this, but i did my best. Feel free to tell me what tags i should add!
2019 mood: absolutely zero shame in re-reading your own fics and saying âThis was good. This was a good thing I did, Iâm proud of myself and Iâm a good writerâÂ
2019 mood? Iâve been doing this since I started writing fanfic in 2016⊠Donât ever be afraid to reread your own fics! These are the stories you wanted to write, so therefore, theyâre also ones you wanted to read in the first place!
i don't write messy fics, but dang this would be good. (warning, long)
Shouto being best friends with Izuku but has been pining on Katsuki for years until they finally break up after such a long time fighting with each other and Shouto is torn between being sad for Izuku who is still in the process of moving on and being happy for having a chance to go for Katsuki but then there's guilt and loyalty to Izuku from holding him back but Katsuki is still hung up on Izuku and Katsuki is Shouto's friend too so ofc he wants to want to soothe him too but then they ended up sleeping together and Shouto had to keep it a secret while Izuku kept telling him how he kind of still miss Katsuki and his heart breaks even further when Katsuki told him to his face that he's just waiting for Izuku to miss him so badly that they'll get back together bcs apparently they often fight so bad they'll 'break up' but essentially they're just having a break and they'll always get back together and Shouto spirals with more guilt the more he meets up with Izuku and the more he wants Katsuki and 'soothe' him while pretending that they'll never get back together and Shouto is too scared to ask Izuku whether they're splitting or eventually getting back together as he kept pining for Katsuki and stopping by his apartment for food and beer until they ended up having sex every time and ever moment with Katsuki had been the happiest he's ever been until the morning after he had to face the world outside of Katsuki apartment when he had to work with his best friend Izuku meanwhile SHouto is so convinced that Katsuki is starting to love him back because he stopped mentioning Izuku everytime they're together and the sex starts to feel like making love and SHouto just knows that one of these days that Katsuki will fall for him but he didn't and turns out he's been texting Izuku and begging that they'll get back together and SHouto fights with Katsuki about it like why would you want to get back together with Izuku like "What about us?" and Katsuki just scoffs and say "there's no us" Shouto can't say anything and kept pretending that maybe he just haven't succeed in making Katsuki falls in love with him instead of facing the reality that is that Katsuki is using him as a place holder which doesn't last long because in the end Izuku found out bcs Katsuki sent Izuku a pic of them together in bed and Izuku marches over to Shouto's place all angry like "How could you! You're my friend. Friends don't do this!" all teared up and SHouto basically screamed "You said you broke up! You didn't say you're taking a break or all this bullshit!" "Even so! You don't fuck with your best friend's ex!" "NO! No! Fuck you Izuku. I've been watching from the sidelines long enough. I love him! I love him more than you could ever do because I loved him even before you started LOOking at him like that and he's supposed to be with me! He's supposed to be mine! but I shut my mouth for you because you're my fucking best friend but I had enough. You two always fight and you know both of you are bad for each other because he's supposed to be mine! And yes we've been fucking for a month but you fucking broke up and I didn't betray you so stop accusing me and face it! Both of you had been miserable for years while in the last month I've been with him I have never ever been happier!!!" and Izuku slaps him and tell him to wake up and told him that Katsuki is just playing with him just like how he played with Izuku but Shouto doesn't give up until Katsuki finally stops all contact with Shouto and Katsuki changed the code to his apartment and they fought in Izuku's apartment when Izuku isn't even there bcs Shouto knows Izuku's code to his apartment as do Katsuki and Katsuki is suspicious as why Shouto is there and Shouto lied that he also slept with Izuku because he loves Izuku and that's the reason why Izuku wont get back together with Katsuki hoping that Katsuki would get jealous and choose Shouto but Katsuki got angry instead that Izuku is sleeping with Shouto and they fought so hard they bleed until Izuku comes back home and split them apart.
in the end the three of them are nursing their bruises and bleeding noses. Izuku only got a jab on the face once instead of the black and blues Shouto and Katsuki is. This is when they finally talk.
Izuku: "Kacchan. I do love you, and you're always be my best friend. But we're not great as boyfriends. I've fallen in love with someone, not SHOUTO, gosh calm down. They showed me what love truly felt like. I understand that you're not perfect, Kacchan, and it's not your fault, but I'm done trying to fix you when you never even wanted to do it yourself."
Shouto didn't even know what they're talking about. SHouto is always jealous about their closeness, but not anymore.
Shouto: "I love you Katsuki. I've loved you even before both of you started having crushes. I thought both of you are perfect together but you're not, so I thought you belonged with me, but you'll never love me, I know that now.... I don't think I want to love you anymore."
Katsuki said nothing but stormed out of the apartment. Izuku can't look at Shouto and Shouto eventually leaves while saying "I'm so sorry, Izuku. I truly am."
And if I wanna stay messy, I'll end it like that. I don't watch Euphoria so idk
Summary:
Todoroki Shouto dies at the age of 27 under a rubble. Last year, Shouto lost everything he had to a massacre, including the two loves of his life. Shouto welcomes his death with peace, but instead of joining Izuku and Katsuki in the afterlife, Shouto travels back ten years earlier in his 17-year-old body.
Blessed with a second chance, Shouto is determined to change the future and keep his loved ones safe.
Shouto will do whatever it takes.
Chapter 1 (4.3k words)
No matter how strong Shouto has become, he never fools himself that heâll dodge death forever after so many close calls in the nine years of his career as a Pro-Hero. Shouto can already hear what theyâll say: âheâs too young to dieâ and âhe has so much potentialâ. He can already hear Natsu and Yumi wailing over him.
 In these last seconds of his life, Shouto can finally be honest with himself that he has been waiting for this day to come. Half of the people he knew were killed last year because of the massacre, including the two loves of his life.
 He had been pretending too well, thanks to his stoic and inexpressive face. No one found out that heâd been drinking every night and drank an expensive hangover medicine to cover it all. His heart has been through the ringer, it hurts to just breathe. All they knew was that Shouto had toughened up, and had been the first person in line to avenge them. As much as itâs true, vengeance can only go so far, and it gets old so fast the moment you realize that vengeance doesnât bring your loved ones back.
 Well, not that any of it matters anymore. Heâs already 27 years old, both his legs are pinned under the rubble, and heâs tired. Heâs looking up at the piles of concrete pieces that are barely leaning onto themselves, forming a dome-shaped deathtrap over Shoutoâs body. Itâs dark except for the small opening right at the top, just perfectly wide enough to cater to the full moon. If the moon is out, then he's been here for two hours.
 Shouto had been feeling and hearing a lot of rumbling around him. The last contact he made was with Detective Tsukauchi âofficer turned emergency Hero in these tough timesâ but that was two hours ago and he hadnât heard from him since. Perhaps he died already, joining his husband in the afterlife, how enviable. Maybe Shouto can finally join Izuku and Katsuki too.
 If the tremors didnât put Shouto under the rubble, then blood loss would be the one to off him. Shouto doesnât want to care about his life, but things are never straightforward like that.
 Itâs bittersweet whenever Shouto thinks about his life and thinks about giving up on it. Heâs glad that the pain is over, but deep inside he immensely regrets not spending more time with his loved ones. He was so idealistic when he was young, back when he believed that they were invincible, and when he believed that heâd have more time with Izuku and Katsuki.
He regrets not spending more time to love them and more time with his family.
Most of all, he regrets not spending more time just doing things that would make him happy.
 Another tremor, distant screams. The war is still ongoing outside. The rubble finally closed in on him. Heâll be lying if death doesnât scare him just a tiny bit, but once his consciousness is gone, all he can think of is: Finally, peace.
 ---
---
 Shouto doesnât believe in the afterlife. He wishes it exists, but believing in it isnât the same thing. Hence, when he wakes up to a familiar ceiling after remembering the dark rubble over him, he begins to feel hopeful.
 He rises from his futon. Itâs dark, but the curtain is drawn from the windows. He always closes the curtains at night, preferring complete darkness when he sleeps. One thing he realized immediately was the lack of pain in his right knee, he tore his ligament on the day he lost everything, and it never healed right because he kept working.
 He walked to the window and eerily found the same full moon shining brightly in the sky. The second thing that takes him by surprise is the view. This is Yuuei.
 After withholding a wave of shock and nausea, he finds strenght in his body and mind to find a mirror which he remembers is located inside the door of his cupboard.
 The person looking back is himself, âstill Shouto Todorokiâ back when he was still seventeen. He inspects his uniform, the one that has a dot of stain on the shirt, it means heâs still in his second grade. Itâs a stain that Katsuki made after exploding teriyaki sauce everywhere when they were cooking in the celebration of their first yearâs final exams.
 Shouto wastes no time to do what his heart has been yearning to. He marches towards Izukuâs room and knocks haphazardly, his hands shaking and his heart racing.
 âIâm up Iâm up, hold onâŠâ Izuku says. Itâs his voice, languid and dragged with sleep.
 The door opens and Shouto almost dropped to his knees. Itâs Izuku, alive and young, adorably wiping his eyes from sleep. Both his eyes are open, still that lively forest green that took his breath away.
 âShouto, whatâs wrong?â Izuku says after taking in Shouto fully. He will misunderstand the reason Shoutoâs hands are shaking, but Shouto uses it to his advantage, âI had a nightmare⊠May IâŠâ itâs odd that Shouto still finds it difficult to ask, but he will not let it stop him anymore. âCan I have a hug?â
 Izuku flushes slightly and smiles acceptingly, he always does, now and far in the future. So kind and giving, Shouto always feels grounded with the weight of Izukuâs gentleness, âOf course, do you want to- Oh.â
 Shouto engulfs him in a hug and Izuku quickly puts his arms around Shouto, his wide hands rubbing his back languidly. Shouto canât believe that Izuku is living and breathing in his arms again. The last time he ever held Izuku was when he brought his mangled dead body to the rows of others.
 âWas it really bad?â Izuku asks, noticing how Shoutoâs breath starts to quicken. Shouto only nods, not trusting his voice. âAlright, I think we need to bring out the big guns.â
 Shoutoâs heart jumped again, his stupid mouth almost said not to bother on instinct. No more waiting, no more pushing away.
 The big guns are of course Katsuki âor more accurately, his teas. Shouto remembers clear as day how angry Katsuki was when their classmates kept stealing Katsukiâs teas off the pantry, but Katsuki is softer hearted than he lets on, telling class 1-A to get it from him in his room if any of them wants on. Depending on the reason, Katsuki would accompany the person as he begrudgingly insists on brewing the tea the right way. Shouto is one of the people who seeks excuses to have Katsukiâs company as he asks for oolong tea until Shouto feels bad about waking Katsuki and stops.
 Shouto won't stop this time, thatâs why he lets Izuku knock on Katsukiâs door, baring themselves to Katsukiâs epic scowl. Katsuki looks like he wants to bite their heads off, Shouto wants nothing more than to kiss him, yet this is the one desire he holds back. Perhaps thatâs why Katsuki has yet to explode him, Shouto is visibly shaking from holding himself back.
âTea alone canât fix this,â Katsuki grumbles, âGet to the sofa.â
 Before he knows it, heâs standing idly like a loon as Izuku sets up the blankets on the sofa and looking for a movie to watch and Katsuki is preparing a bowl of chips and salsa while boiling water in a pot for three mugs of chamomile tea.
 âAnything I can help you with?â Shouto asks.
 âSit your ass down and donât get in my way, icy hot!â Katsuki glares at him, and though Shouto knows that his expression is stoic as always, these two can always tell. Itâs both hell and heaven, something he misses like a dying fish misses the water. Katsukiâs glare softens and Shouto hates how heâs instead reminded of the last time he saw Katsuki, two cloudy eyes on a charred face.
 âWhich dream is it?â Katsuki asks, knowing that Shouto has few consistent bad dreams.
 Shouto finds it hard to lie, âA new one this time⊠something from the future.â
 âHow far?â Izuku asks, joining them.
 âTen years⊠I lost everyone and everything. I lost both of you.â
 Shouto used to be such a crybaby after his mom left, but somewhere along his childhood he had stopped crying, yet that urge to cry is still there. Shouto wants nothing more than to break down in tears wailing, screaming, and holding onto the two people who eased the pain he can never express, but he canât. Instead, the two of them held him. Izuku on his left, Katsuki on his right. Both of them are not yet dating this year, but theyâve been getting closer. So close that Katsuki also holds on to Izuku as he does Shouto and Izuku lets himself melt into Katsukiâs touch as he hangs onto Shouto.
 Shouto still wants to cry âthough for a different reasonâ yet his eyes never stung. So, he holds them instead. Being the tallest of the two, Shouto tucks their heads into the curve of his neck.
 They sit on the sofa with Shouto in the middle. The movie is Frozen, which hadnât been his comfort movie for a year, but he canât tell Izuku that watching Frozen had morphed from comfort to a crowbar that pry open bad memories of them. Shouto doesnât touch the snack, both his hands find theirs under the blanket. Both of them are tightening their hold on Shoutoâs hands at the same time and Shouto wants to cry again, but nothing comes out.
 Just like that, watching Frozen is rewritten yet again, as easy as that, as long as he has them.
 The window is open, and the moon is there again as if itâs following him, watching and judging how he reacts.
 Shouto doesnât know if this is the afterlife or whether he just traveled back in time to his old body. But if itâs truly the latter, if heâs truly being gifted a miracle of a second chance, Shouto will not waste it.
 Shouto will do whatâs right.
  ++++
  âArenât you worried about him?â
 âHalfânâhalf? Nah.â Katsuki continues reading his textbook on Izukuâs desk while Izuku is lounging on his bed.
 Both of them are studying instead of going home for the weekend. A few weeks ago, Shouto had said that he wouldn't go home for a few months until he changed his mind a few days ago.
 âLast time Shoutoâs home, he fought with his dad again and he didnât look like he was ready to forgive him anytime soon.â
 âThat was weeks ago, chill the fuck out youâre ruining my study vibes.â
 âYou canât tell me it doesnât bother you!â
 âOf course it fucking does, Iâm not that dense, but itâs none of our business what the poker-faced koala is up to!â
 Izukuâs eyes widen and then he frowns, that frown that shows how disappointed he is. Katsuki hates how it affects him. âShouto is our best friend.â
 Katsuki tightens his fists holding back the tiny explosive just at the tip of his fingers, âDoes he think the same of us?â Itâs a loaded question for the two. Something has been brewing between them though they had never pointed it out before. Thereâs been nothing but the back of their hands brushing and small glances that end up with an embarrassing blush.
 Then thereâs Shouto who always seems indifferent.
 Izuku flushes a shade of pretty pink, damn him, âI donât know! Does it matter at all? I have a bad feeling about this.â
 âDonât fucking say it, Deku! Every time you said that thereâs always crazy shit that actually happened,â Katsuki hisses.
 âThatâs not my fault,â Izuku waves at him, one of the downsides of them getting closer is that Izuku does not mind Katsukiâs temper anymore. Itâs both a relief and an annoyance. âWe should call him, just in case.â
 âDo whatever you want,â Katsuki throws his hands up, not seeming to care, but heâs leaning onto Izukuâs phone when he speed-dials Shouto and says, âPut it on speaker phone.â
 Izuku does and they wait. Each second passes their tension grows.
 Shouto didnât pick up, and Izuku looked panicked.
 Katsuki curses, âYou fucking idiot, itâs 12 AM! I missed my bedtime because of you!â
 âBut Kacchan! Youâre the one who barged inside my room to do our homework!â
 âShut the fuck up!â
 Izuku stares at him, âYouâre worried too.â
 âI told you to-!â Katsuki scratches his head, sighing, âSomething was wrong last week.â
 âWhen he called us after a nightmare? I think so too.â
 âDid you ever realize that he never cried?â Katsuki said, âDamn, every single one of us had cried at least once thanks to all the shit happening in first year, but I never once see him cry, not even on the brink of one.â
 âI donât think he can,â Izuku adds. âShouto has a unique response to his childhood trauma which was an ongoing occurrence even after he got into Yuuei until Endeavor had a change of heart after Dabiâs revelation. From the surface, Shouto seems like he isnât too affected by Enjiâs abuse, but that isnât telling whatâs going on in Shoutoâs psyche. I think the amount of things SHouto had to go through made him unable to respond to pain by crying like most kids would. Though that doesnât mean Shouto never feels pain, on the contrary, without proper emotional response, I think Shouto mustâve been feeling pain more intensely⊠but thatâs just my theory.â
 Katsuki blinks, âRight, thanks for the unsolicited armchair psychology, but how the fuck would any of your ramblings could help us help him.â
 Izuku grins, and Katsuki looks away with gritted teeth,  yet he doesnât take back his words, âI knew youâre a softy inside,â Izuku lightly punches Katsukiâs shoulder.
 âAll of our insides are soft, technically.â Katsuki is scowling at the floor, folded arms tighten, âI think we just need to go to his house, right now.â
 Izuku startles, âWell, who panicked now!â
 âShut up! Itâs because you said you had a bad feeling and now I canât get it out of my head!â
 âAw, you trust my instinct.â
 Katsuki watches him for a second too long. His hand is ruffling and pushing Izukuâs head, âYeah, I fucking do. Iâm gonna go get my jacket.â
 Izuku is holding his head where Katsukiâs hand was, watching Katsuki walk away with the tips of his ears red. Izuku sighs, whatever it is that they have, itâs not a bad feeling at all.
 Sneaking out is easy, too easy.
 âFuckâŠâ Katsuki stops, and Izuku halts beside him.
 âWhat?â
 âAizawaâs car isnât here. We need to see Shouto, now!â
 âWait, Kacchan!â Izuku says when Katsuki starts speedwalking.
 âEvery time Aizawa is out on nights like this, itâs always because shit happens, shits with us. Last time it was getting me out of my house, the day before that was to talk Zombie-face out of a bridge.â
 Izuku grabs Katsukiâs arm, but they donât stop, âWeâll get to see Shoucchan. Itâll be alright.â
 âFor his sake, I hope youâre right, broccoli head.â
 They didnât need to see Shoutoâs house to know that they were too late. They saw the red and blue lights before making a turn. They run and find police cars right outside Shoutoâs house along with Aizawaâs. Their homeroom teacher is speaking with Detective Tsukauchi over something that makes Aizawaâs face twist unpleasantly.
 Then Aizawa finds them, and it looks like Aizawa ages for a decade in one look, âGo home.â
 âNot until you tell us what happened, stinky old man!â
 âIs Shouto safe?â Izuku asks, eyes gleaming with tears.
 âHeâs fine, but you two shouldnât be here,â The detective says.
 âWeâre not budging until we see half-n-half!â Katsuki barks.
 Like a prayer granted, Shouto exits his house, thankfully harmless and with the same aloofness on his face. Heâs being accompanied by the police on each side, a quirk-neutralizing cuffs on his wrists.
 âShoucchan!â
 âWhat the fuck! Youâre arresting him?!â
 âShouto would never do anything harmful! Heâs as harmless as a small kitten!â
 âHeâs a fucking minor for fuckâs sake.â
 âBakugo, Midoriya,â Aizawa scolds, standing between them and Shouto. âI need both of you to calm down and let the police do their job.â
 âIâm okay,â Shoutoâs voice is soft as always, it sounded like he just woke up.
 âShoucchan, what happened!?â Izuku and Katsuki push through the adults.
 âUmâŠâ Shouto looks at the two adults, âI donât think I can say, but donât worry.â Shouto holds Izukuâs hand and passes a rare smile to them both. âAizawa says itâll be okay.â
 Katsuki and Izuku are stunned in place as Shouto is led to a police car. Shouto rarely ever smiles, and even rarer like that.
 Aizawa takes them back to the dorm, half of the ride is silent until Aizawa finally breaks it with, âYou two are quiet. I thought you would be asking questions by now.â
 Katsuki and Izuku shares a look.
 âItâs not like youâll tell us anything,â Katsuki sulks.
 âThatâs right,â Aizawa sighs. âWhy did you go to Todorokiâs house in the first place?â
 âThe nerdâs trouble senses were tingling, keeps bugging me until we see icy hot ourselves.â
 âHe didnât answer my call!â
 âItâs in the middle of the night, Midoriya.â
 âIt doesnât matter, I was right anyway!â Izuku bites his lips, hands clutched on his lap. âYou really canât tell us anything?â
 âI canât, but this will blow over quietly. Todoroki is a minor, if it truly involves him, then nothing will come to the surface. This is all stupid, but Todoroki will be fine.â
 âAnd yet another trauma buried under,â Katsuki spat.
 âHeâll tell us,â Izuku ensures.
 The rest of the ride is quiet.
 Once theyâre finally in the dorm, Katsuki says, âWe had our answer.â
 âI think so. What do we do now?â
 âWhat we always have been doing. Be wherever that two-toned dolt is once everything blows over. What did you say earlier? Heâs probably so miserable because he canât cry?â
 âNot exactly my words but⊠it was just a theory⊠we didnât really know him, did we?â
 âWe know him enough.â Katsuki sighs, âOnce heâs back, weâll fix that.â
 Izuku smiles a little and takes courage. The main room is dark, and there are only the two of them. A sneaky hand slipped past Katsukiâs palm and held tight.
 âYe-yes, I agree.â
 Katsuki says nothing else but clasps Izukuâs warm hands, the tips of his ears red, hidden by the dark.
When Shouto didnât come to school on Monday, they knew something was wrong. Aizawa told the class that Shouto had called in sick and resting at home while glancing toward Katsuki and Izuku. It wasnât until lunch break that the news broke.
 The current number 1 Hero âEndeavorâ is murdered in cold blood in his own house, and Shouto is the main suspect.
   ++++
  As soon as Aizawa got the emergency call to the Todoroki residence, he thought heâd be neutralizing Todoroki Seniorâs quirk, not Todoroki his student. Detective Tsukauchi gives him a ridiculous rundown, pointing towards Todoroki Fuyumi, the one who called the police. Sheâs shrinking onto herself in the ambulance car, eyes hauntingly looking down.
 âThere has got to be a mistake,â Aizawa says. âTodoroki Shouto isnât that type of child, he has no aggression tendency whatsoever.â
 âDo you think his sister is the type to lie then?â the Detective rebutes.
 âShe mustâve seen a clone or even a doppelganger.â Aizawa is a little surprised that Fuyumi didnât come to this conclusion right away.
 âLook, I donât want to believe this either, but this isnât petty crime. This is a precaution.â
 Tsukauchi is just as surprised as Aizawa is at Todoroki Fuyumiâs testimony. She called 110 in a panic, she testified that he found Shouto walking out of the training room bleeding. He didnât respond when she called for him and slammed the bedroom door behind him. Angry at her dad, she marched to the training room and found Endeavor dead, an ice spike through the heart. The training room is in a rough state, signs say that an intense battle happened there. Jury is still out on whether this is a sparring gone wrong or an attack. If this is an attack, itâs obvious that Enji is the perpetrator and Shouto fought back in self-defense. Itâs one big âifâ as well.
 âWhatever happened to innocent before proven guilty?â
 âWe have a witness, Aizawa.â
 Aizawa clicks his tongue, âFine, I wouldnât even need my quirk.â
 The door to Todoroki's estate is open, Aizawa had been here before but he doesnât know where Todorokiâs room is. He doesnât bother looking. He waits in the genkan and calls Shouto.
 âHn, Aizawa? What is it?â Shouto answers, voice rough with sleep.
 Aizawa sighs. How do you politely and calmly tell a minor that theyâre arrested? âI want you to hear me calmly, alright? I have something to tell you that could probably shock you.â
 â⊠Does it have something to do with the red and blue light that I can see from my windows?â
 Aizawa pinches the bridge of his nose, âYes, Iâm at your front door, can you come here?â
 âOk.â A door open and shut. Soft steps grow closer. and Aizawa finds him at the front door, still in his PJs. Shouto doesnât look upset nor agitated in any way, then again, Shouto never seems like anything. âHello, sensei. Can I help you with anything?â
 âHave you seen your father?â
 âWe had dinner together. Thatâs about it.â
 âRight. Well, Iâm sorry to tell you this, Todoroki, but your father has been murdered.â
 Todoroki widens his eyes and pauses, âOh⊠who murdered him?â
 âWe donât know yet, but your sister saw you did it. His body is in the training room.â
 âAh⊠Iâm a suspect. You came to get me because they thought Iâd fight back.â Todoroki emits no other emotions other than pressing his lips and looking down.
 Aizawa nods, âI know it's not you,â His hand on Todorokiâs shoulder. âBut you had to come to the police station right now.â
 âOkay.â
 Todoroki exits side by side with Aizawa, facing police officers behind car doors, pointing their guns on him. Aizawa openly scowls at them. One officer comes forward to put the fortified quirk-neutralizing cuffs, it takes up his whole forearms. Fuyumi is in their sight, Todoroki glances at her only to have his sister ignoring him.
 âEverything will be okay,â Aizawa says.
 âNo, itâs not. Itâs always like thisâŠâ Todorokiâs breath hitched, âI appreciate your efforts though.â
 Aizawa knows that Todoroki is a particularly strong child both mentally and physically. He wonders how much of it is just Todorokiâs incapability of expressing himself rather than strenght itself.
 Detective Tsukaichi promises that the press will not catch a whiff of it. All cases involving a minor are always kept off from the public, but a high-profile one like this is exceptionally difficult to keep quiet.
 But, detective Tsukauchi and Aizawa go way back, and Aizawa trusts him.
 He drove Bakugou and Midoriya back thinking the misunderstanding would be cleared as soon as they got the camera footage in the training room and Todoroki would be back on Sunday.
   +++++
   âWhat fucking psycho put a surveillance camera inside their house?â
 âRich people, man. Theyâre on another level of crazy.â
 âDidnât you see the Todoroki smear campaign last year? One of the Todorokis is a villain called Dabi, plastered whole lots of shit Endeavor did-â
 âIf you had the time to gossip like prepubescent teens, I suggest you use the time to search the recordings.â
 The officers snap their heads to their head Detective and scurry along. Tsukauchi sighs and rubs his short hair. He gets his shitty coffee and leaves. Looking for the footage that records the crime scene had been proving harder to do when Endeavor was using wireless cameras and hiding his computer better than they thought.
 Just because they put Shouto on quirk-neutralizing cuffs, they feel safe enough to leave Shouto alone most of the time. Equipped with the knowledge of the future, Shouto knows someone who will be famous for their exposure will be hiding in the precinctâs back door to hear police officers talk over smoke breaks. Shouto finds him lurking behind the dumpster using their dissolution quirk that makes them blend with the surroundings. Shouto parted the door only slightly, enough that his voice would be heard.
 âI see that youâre here as always, Mister Koff.â
 The trash rustles, âAnd seeing that you didnât immediately arrest me, there must be something you need from me. We can strike a deal that benefits both of us.â
 âStraight to business, I like that Mr. Koff. The youngest of the Todorokis is arrested for the murder of Endeavor.â
 âAllegedly, I need proof.â
 âAnd youâll have it. A footage of Endeavorâs murder exists. Enter his office, twist the resin figurine of an Atlas and youâll have access to the secret room, thereâs a computer there. It holds the recorded footage of every camera in the household. The password is 17042118.â Reiâs birthday.
 Koff hums, âHow can I trust you?â
 âDo you have anything to lose? Itâs not like you can get any lower in your position.â
 âTouche, whatâs in it for you?â
 âA personal grudge. I want you to leak the raw footage uncensored and anonymously. Make sure to emphasize that Shouto Todoroki has no remorse.â
 âHeh, you got it pal.â
 With that, Koff leaves and Shouto returns to the hallways.
 âWhat are you doing here?â Detective Tsukauchi finds him.
 âIâm looking for the restroom.â
 âYou couldâve asked the nearest officer.â
 Shouto looks down, âThey didnât seem to like me.â
The detective sighs exasperatedly, âDonât loiter around unsupervised like this ever again, this is the police station for fuckâs sake.â
âOkay,â Shouto lies, easily.
 -
-
-
The raw footage went online on Sunday night before any of the police officers could even find the computer. An expose article follows soon after. Shouto is quickly marked as a psychopath with a grudge.
scroll down to the red footer at the bottom of any page
find the word Reversi (it's in the left-most column)
tap on it
if you log out or change devices, it will reset to Default, so to make it permanent you need to do one more step:
after tapping Reversi, you will end up on a new page. scroll to the bottom of the code and find the button labelled Use (on the right hand side) and tap that
Just sos you knows, AO3 is down under a DDOS attack right now. Theyâve been coming back in little blips and then disappearing again. Itâs been several hours. (For reference, itâs currently 3 p.m. eastern, July 10, 2023.)
The culprit (as with a few other DDOS attacks recently) is Anonymous Sudan, a group that is likely Russian, not Sudanese. The âreasonâ they gaveâthat AO3 is âfull of disgusting smuts and other LGBTQ+ and NSFW things,â is thin and probably not completely legit, though still legitimately concerning.
The AS claim: https://twitter.com/FalconFeedsio/status/1678397195039526912
Reporting on AS: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2023-06-28/anonymous-sudan-does-group-behind-microsoft-cyberattack-have-ties-to-russia (you can use archive.ph to get this one, 12ft doesnât seem to work)
As noted here, https://twitter.com/honeyskeleton/status/1678449598703050769:
DDOS protection is expensive especially for a high traffic site like ao3. And itâs uniquely vulnerable as an independent site without ads or other corporate support. SPECIFICALLY targeted bc of its queer works and yet ppl will still complain every time they ask for donations lmaoÂ
So, again, when AO3 comes back online, please donât go hard with refreshing all your tabs. Please do remember to download fics you love early and often as you continue in your whole ~reading journey~. And please do support AO3 through a dono or becoming a donating member, if it is possible for you to do so.
THIS FANFIC IS SAD. Don't tell me I didn't warn you. I can't tag or I'll spoil.
Words: 10K
Click more to read here, or the link to read on AO3.
Tags: Sad bittersweet ending. Non-Pairing. Jason-centric story from Tim's POV.
Summary:
Tim finds a letter from Jason a year after he beats Tim half to death and dipped from the radar. Tim opens the letter six years later, it contains Jason's heartfelt apology and an offer to meet if Tim so needs it. At this point, Red Hood had never resurfaced after the explosion he set off with Joker and Batman.
Tim takes up Jason's offer to meet. Jason had become a completely changed man. Jason's eyes are blue instead of teal, he has a peaceful smile that he gives freely. Jason Todd seems happy at the Red Poppy Orphanage that he built.
After further research so that Tim can slide in an 'anonymous donation', things unravel, casting doubts at everything Tim saw.
This is Jason's story, told from Tim's perspective.
+++++
+++++
 Tim found a letter from Jason a year after he beats Tim half to death and dipped from the radar. Tim isnât in a habit of going through his mails, who even still sends physical mail nowadays anyway?
The letter comes in a commercial white envelope, the address is to Timâs old house, the Drake household. Tim goes there once a year to clean it up and get the mail. Thatâs when Tim finds the white unassuming envelope. Itâs completely blank aside from the writing that says,
âTo: Tim
From: Jasonâ
Simple and neat. It doesnât have a send date, nor any other details written on the plain white paper envelope, just those four words.
From the looks of it, the letter couldnât have been sent via postal service. So, Jason mustâve hand delivered this himself or had someone do it. Tim scans the dates of the mails that came before and after it. After doing simple calculations and predictions, the letter mustâve been placed after Jason had almost killed him. Huh.
Tim doesnât open it right away, but he keeps it.
The letter is kept in a box where Tim stores his lowest-priority documents. At some point, Tim ran out of space in his room and then declutter his room where he puts even more stuff in his low priority. That box had become a junk box where he puts away things that he doesnât know what to do with yet doesnât want to throw away⊠just in case.
The box follows him when Tim moves out of the manor into the newly renovated Drake household. By accident, the letter slips between the pages of a book. Itâs a book that Tim had been wanting to read but never ended up reading. The book ended up at the bottom of the moving box and never got unpacked. Alas, the letter is no longer in plain sight and Tim completely forgot about it.
Until 5 years later, he finds it as he was rummaging his attic for an old phone he had for the parts he needed for a prototype UV gun. His old phone is right on top of a book he had wanted to read years ago. It has a slight tilt upwards as if thereâs something inside that prevents it from closing all the way flat. It couldnât be anything important, but Tim checks it just to be thorough. Itâs an envelope. Tim didnât even connect the dots yet by then, not until he flipped the envelop and read whatâs written on the cover of it,
âTo: Tim
From: Jasonâ
Itâs been years since then. Whatever Tim felt that made him put it away had long gone, not even remembered. Tim opens the envelope without hesitation or lingering feeling to see a short letter.
âFor all my words are worth, Iâm sorry. For hurting you, for almost killing you. You didnât deserve any of that. Iâm sorry that Iâm doing this by letter. I figured my face would be the least of things you wanted to see right now. Iâm not asking you to forgive me, but you deserve closure as much as you need to. To heal from what I had inflicted on you. I know what dying felt like. I regret ever making you feel closely that way, especially when you didnât deserve it, closely aged as I had died. Youâre not a replacement, youâre the successor of the Robin mantle, and youâre so much better than me that I couldnât handle it. So, I took it out on you. Iâm so sorry, you didnât deserve to be treated that way. If you need anything from me, my number is at the back of the page.â
Tim turns the paper that seems to be torn from a ring-bound book, and there it is, a series of numbers.
Sighing, Tim is at loss for what he reads. Jasonâs words are short, but so sincere that Tim was dumbfounded. These are not the words of the man that had him on the floor half-dead, screaming bloody murder at him, trying to kill Tim in earnest as if Tim is the devil on earth, the mastermind of all Jasonâs misfortune. To think, that this letter is sent so quickly after that moment tooâŠ
Tim doesnât need any closure, but he is so awfully curious.
The last time Jason was spotted by accountable eyes was in that apartment where he withheld Joker and lured Batman into a room full of explosives for an âinterventionâ or three-way murder-suicide explosion, no one could decide what Jason had truly wanted back then. When Bruce came back barely scratched dragging an unconscious Joker, they all expected Jason had also gotten away from it. For the first year after that explosion, theyâre all too busy with the following explosion in Bludhaven, but theyâve been gearing up for Jason to come back guns blazing with revenge.
Then a couple of years go by and Jason doesnât show up. Not even a glimpse of his face pinged on the satellites. No shiny red helmet nor a six foot 225 lbs of a blue-eyed black-haired man in sight.
They had a lot of theories regarding it.
Jason couldâve been stewing for an ever bigger and worse plan. The anger he showed was proof enough that Jason could go that far. Perhaps Jason got the bad end of the explosion and is still healing from an injury. A wishful hope from them all is that heâs laying low to live a normal life, whatever that normal life is.
They donât talk about Jason out in the open, not in Bruce's presence who growingly goes tense at the mention of the name. Whenever they talk about it, they say âhimâ in a certain way, and âheâ is talked far away from Bruce and always in vague sentences. Tim is rarely part of this conversation. The other bats use what little sensitivities they have for each other to have the sense not to talk about Timâs abuser right in his face.
Not that Tim is bothered by talking about Jason, itâs just that Tim doesnât have any opinion of Jason for him to talk about. The man almost killed him in a blind rage, then never talked to him again, thatâs hardly the making of an opinion. Timâs busy schedule also prevents Tim from reading the letter. Tim was reminded about the letter from time to time, but when the whispers about Jason stopped, Tim also stopped being reminded.
Years ticked by and the bats are focused on other more pressing things. Not even Alfred talked about Jason anymore, itâs why itâs so easy to forget Jason.
Until now, finding the letter by pure accident. Tim stares at the number, contemplating whether to call him. Itâs been years since it happened, and itâs not like the first time Tim is beaten till his life hangs on a thread. Tim had let it go a long time ago.
Playing with the piece of paper, Tim rereads the yellowing letter.
Curiosity wins.
He dials the phone.
It rings and it rings.
Then it fell to voicemail.
âThis is Jason Todd, leave a message.â beep
Tim stares and stills because what the fuck. Why did Jason from six years ago sent him a number with a voicemail that says his legal name? Coming from a vigilante thatâs laying low, it doesnât make sense. Unless this number is given for Jasonâs closest contacts, the closest kept people that know Jason Todd isnât really dead, trusted people. Tim doesnât know what to think of that either, it makes him even more curious.
The curiosity bumps into his wariness though. Itâs weird, Tim can feel it. Thereâs just something not normal about the whole thing with Jasonâs letter and the phone and everything.
With that, Tim decides to follow through with it.
Tim leaves a message, âHi, Jason? Itâs Tim. Tim Drake. I just opened your letterâŠâ Tim pauses, blanked. He shouldâve thought more about what he was going to say. âSorry it took so long? I didnât see it for a while andâŠâ Tim sighs, he knows heâs pathetically rambling. âAnyway, Iâm open if you want to meet. I havenât seen you around lately.â Tim curses himself, he didnât need to say that. âAlright, hit me up when youâre free!â and he finally hangs up.
Well, that was awkward. Nothing to be done about it now.
All Tim can do is wait.
 ++++
 Tim waited for a week without any correspondence. No callback, no text, not even a virus or any attempt at hacking his phone.
For the bats, a week is nothing. Jason couldâve been on a mission, deep in a no-signal zone. Hell, he couldâve been in space or between reality. Tim knows for a fact that this side gig can go crazy and beyond.
But Tim still has this unshakable feeling that something is wrong. Because though a week is nothing, the bats have each other to hold them accountable, to ping each other that they existed. Jason has no one. None that Tim knows.
Look, Tim had been Red Robin for years with a super-computer at the reach of his hands and hacking is just a casual Thursday activity. He didnât even think of the morality of it all nor the outrageousness of tracking Jasonâs phone.
The mystery continues when Tim finds the location of Jasonâs phone in an orphanage⊠in Gotham.
Sure, itâs at the edge of the city of Gotham. If the slums in the middle of Gotham housed criminals and minorities, the edge of the city housed rejects and the weak, people that want to lay low. Ex-prisoners, criminals, older generations, mutants, the homeless, and other people that canât assimilate into the harshness at the Heart of Gotham. Itâs a dead land, barely safe, but only a tad better than the slums.
Thereâs no hustle and bustle there since most of the roads are ruined. A lot of abandoned buildings and half-done projects. There are some parts of the building that doesnât even have electricity or running water. It had become that way because it was the area that got affected by an explosion from Bludhaven that happened the same night that Jason blipped out of the radar.
Since then, Gotham hadnât rebuilt that part of the city. Itâs no longer covered in soot and some of the destruction is fixed by desperate people needing a roof above their heads. Itâs a total ghost town.
Tim tries to look up the orphanage, but thereâs nothing about it. Not a website nor any contact information. Using google maps to look up the coordinates, the orphanage is standing in a decent area, though the photos taken in the area are way outdated.
Tim had thought that maybe it was Jasonâs safe house, which coincidentally, Tim has one too around 600 meters from there, though itâs been years since Tim is there too, and he never bumped into Jason. Maybe Jason hadnât been there in years too, but if he hadnât, then why did Timâs call connect to the phone in that area?
So here is Tim, disguised as a civilian so he can go strut the street unrecognized. Though heâs beginning to think that itâs not needed.
The edge of Gotham is a desolate land. Itâs a shocking contrast to the bustling city. Itâs so severely cut too. Because the forty-fifth avenue is packed with full apartments and the buildings across the street are abandoned, cracked, and empty. Thankfully Tim arrived at noon, thereâs no doubt itâll be way too dark to navigate at night.
He follows the direction on google maps to where the coordinates lead him.
There are a few people still living in this area. They had open doors with a fire pit in the middle of the building. People wash clothes in basins. Children running around and playing soccer with a crumpled-up plastic bottle. There are surprisingly a lot of gardens made at the front yards of the buildings. One of the parks in the area is repurposed as what seems to be a vegetable garden.
Tim is beyond surprised when he got to the coordinates because he had thought it would lead him to Jasonâs safe house since the area is desolate. And yet, here it stands, the Red Poppy Orphanage, barely different than the picture. Itâs a little cracked here and there with its paint chipping, but itâs a bright dot among ruins of grey. A metal plate engraved at the picket fence, the name of the orphanage in bright yellow adorned with red poppies.
The door is open but no one is inside. From the outside, the building is cracked and dusty like everything else despite its better state, but the insides are painted in cheerful pastel colors and are livable. There are some childrenâs drawings on the walls, crayons, and colorful papers on plastic low tables for children. Tim knocks on the open door. Yet, before he can say anything else, someone beats him to it.
âWho youâre looking for?â Says a teenager that suddenly materializes beside Tim.
Tim almost jumps, he didnât hear the kid coming. It makes him more suspicious than necessary, though he shouldnât, Timâs head is just too preoccupied with something else. The teenager is dressed in all-black jeans and a hoodie, black bangs cover half his face.
âIâm looking for Jason.â
The teenager looks at him amusedly, though the expression is barely there. âHeâs in there, at the room furthest in the building.â
âOkay, uh, thanks.â
Tim walks in and looks around. The building feels lived in, but Tim has yet to see anyone other than the teenager. Perhaps theyâre all playing outside.
Itâs not until he finally peeks into the furthest room in the building that he finally finds someone. A tall and lanky man in loose slacks, a white shirt, and a muted brick jumper rolled to his elbows to show slender forearms. The man is reading something in his hand, three-quarters of his back facing Tim. From the plaque on the door, the man mustâve been the warden of the orphanage.
âExcuse me,â Tim knocks on the door.
The man inside turns around, and Tim is frozen stiff on his feet as he recognizes the wardenâs face.
The willowy man in civilian clothes is Jason fucking Todd. He lost a surmountable weight and muscles. His hair is completely black, and his eyes are fully blue instead of blue-green. His face is leaner and had lost its viciousness. The man is almost a different person entirely, but Tim knows this is Jason, thereâs no fooling anybody.
âTimâŠâ and Jasonâs voice is all the same. Only that he doesnât scream or spat at Timâs name this time.
âHi, Jason.â
âI thought you didnât want to see me,â Jason sounded constricted like he didnât breathe.
âI called the number from your envelope.â Tim scratches the back of his head, âBut you didnât pick up.â
âOh⊠Oh shit, yeah, that phone is- I put it in safekeeping and I hadnât checked it in⊠Fuck Iâm so sorry-â
âNo no! Itâs okay, Iâm sorry I took so long. I, uh, forgot about the letter.â
âYou shouldnât be sorry, Tim- fuck- I-â Jason bites his lips, hands perched on the table, shaking. âIâm sorry. Iâm sorry about what I did to you, and everything Iâve said to you. You didnât deserve any of it.â Jasonâs honest words tumble out all too fast and too suddenly for Tim.
âI know,â Tim shrugs, like itâs nothing, because itâs nothing, truly. Also, Tim just didnât know how to respond to Jasonâs sudden heartfelt apology, Tim doesnât have a lot of experience with that. Jason seems stupefied by Timâs nonchalant behavior, wordless for a few seconds before he gathers himself.
âPlease, sit down. Can I get you anything?â
âCoffee, if you have âem.â
âYeah, Iâll be just a minute.â
Jason left the room and Tim immediately snoop around. What? Heâs still vigilante/detective and Jason is an enigma, he canât not.
The room has a couple of pictures around, mostly the kids and Jason. The pictures go back far enough that thereâs Jason when heâs still big, tall, and menacing that the kids around him look like dwarves. The most recent picture has Jason with drastically less muscle mass, but he smiles brighter and happier. Another thing Tim noticed is that the kids are all the same with more added as they go. All of the kids grow up here, including the emo teen that talked to Tim.
âLearned a thing or two about me?â
Timâs reflex doesnât deign Jason with a jolt, but it does surprise him. Jason moves like a ghost. Seems that Jasonâs skills hadnât left him completely. And if Jason is in any way disturbed by Timâs snooping, he didnât show it.
âJust that you havenât been Red Hood for years.â
âThatâs true.â
âWhy?â
A pair of mugs placed on top of the table with a deafening clink in total silence. Tim canât even hear Jason breathe.
âWhy should I?â Jason finally says, looking out the window.
The question throws Tim for a loop, âThe same reason we all fight, isnât it? Justice.â
Jason ducks, his hand going up to his neck where a calloused scar runs across it, touching it absently.
âNo,â Jason says, lost in thought.
âNo? Then what? Revenge?â
Jason shakes his head, âIt was never about revengeâŠâ Jason gulped, rubbing his hands, âI was angry, sure, but it was never about revenge, not even against Joker. I just wanted answers from my-⊠from Bruce. I wanted to know if I was ever his son instead of⊠a sidekick he pities.â Jasonâs voice breaks in the end, the tall man looks away. âI got Joker in my arm, gun pointed to his head. I gave Bruce an ultimatum. Me or Joker. Well, he walked away with the clown, didnât he? Even though I set up the explosion to take the Joker with me, both of them still walked out free. I watched them go, I let them go.â
Tim canât see Jasonâs face, the man looking out the window, to the bright light outside. Partially, Tim is glad, he doesnât think he can handle looking at Jason with so much vulnerability. Tim wouldnât know what to do, but he still wants to know⊠âWhy didnât you come back? Try again?â
âWhatâs the point? I got what I wanted,â Jason says weakly. Once again, Jason is rubbing his neck. âBruce made his choice right in front of me and I⊠Iâm tired.â
Tim stood there, shocked and paralyzed by Jasonâs grief. Tim canât believe that he feels pity for Jason. Tim had long forgiven Jason, but Tim had done it for himself. To move on and let go of the distracting anger and pain. He had never thought of Jasonâs reasons nor his fate at all, Tim never thought to sympathize. Tim never thought to reflect. Bruce is a man with trauma piled as high as the Empire State building and handling it in the worst way possible, but Tim knows the man is kind in his own way.
Bruce cares about other people more than he did himself, compassionate in his own broken way. Tim believes that Bruce mustâve loved Jason as he did Tim and all the others. Tim understands why Bruce reacted the way he did when Jasonâs deep sorrow is acted with genocidal anger. In one way you love your son, in another, that son is wreaking havoc on what you stand for, and Bruce is nothing if not a man that holds his morals like heâs Atlas holding the world on his back. Jason fell short of Bruceâs ideals because he was lashing out. Bruce didnât see a poor sad boy, he saw a killer that needed to be stopped.
Tim held his tongue. What happened has happened, no turning things back.
And Tim is not here to bridge whatâs between Jason and Bruce.
âThatâs the truth of it all,â Jason said weakly, turning to face Tim with devastatingly sad glassy blue eyes. âBack then in my angry haze, I had felt that you replaced me. That youâre a better version of me, smarter, stronger, less damaged, morally better, better in everythingâŠâ
Tim rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a little awkward at the confession, âYou know⊠I was scared of you for a while, but I never got really angry at you.â
Jason stiffens, âHow?â he says quietly.
Tim shrugs, âBecause I had an inkling you werenât angry at me. You were lashing out, and I was the unlucky punching bag. Turns out I was right.â
Jason breaths for a few beats, lips parted, eyes unblinking, ââŠhuh.â
âI do have a question though.â
âYes?â Jason goes rigid, but he seems eager at the same time.
âThe letter, when did you send it to me?â
Jasonâs expression flinched, âWhy does it matter?â Tim only stares at him and eventually, Jason gives in with a sigh, âA few days after I almost killed you.â
âThatâs a rather quick discovery.â
âHard not to, when I got back to hunting Joker, I was quickly reminded why I did in the first place. The thought that I did the same thing to you that he did to me⊠When I realized that I just⊠I almost became the monster I swore to slay. If you died, then it wouldâve meant I stooped as low as Joker.â
A moment of awkward silence hung between them. Jason curled up on himself and seems to be deep in thought while Tim stands stiffly. Heâs not equipped to handle Jasonâs guilt. Tim would love to just get this all over with.
âWell, you didnât kill me. So, water under the bridge?â
Jasonâs eyes widen and chuckle mirthlessly, âIf youâre sureâŠâ Jason says awkwardly, though Tim doesnât miss the relief in his expression, âThank you.â Jason smiles, and the tenseness in his shoulders bleeds away.
The question is at the tip of his tongue, and Tim reconsiders how wise it will be to voice it. Jason seems at peace here, at peace without the Red Hood. Tim wants to get to know this Jason.
âSoâŠâ Tim says, sitting down and grabbing his mug of hot coffee. âWhat inspires you to open an orphanage?â
Tim doesnât miss Jasonâs surprise at his casualness, but Jason leans into it.
âIâve always thought about it, actually,â Jason shrugs, sitting across the desk at the Warden's chair. âI was sent to one when my mom died and my dad bailed. I ended up running away because it was so horrible,â From that dark confession, Jason chuckles. âSince then, itâs always been my dream to build one.â
âAnd you did, this is a beautiful place by the way. Though a little hard to find.â
âI had to, the kids here are runaways.â Like Jason was. âThey donât come from a safe place.â
Tim has a lot of debating points. That it isnât healthy for the kids, that the system couldâve found them proper parents, and that the government can easily tear down the orphanage if they knew how it works. Tim doubts that Jason has real legalized papers for the orphanage.
However, even though Tim had never been poor or lacking in parental figure, Tim isnât that naĂŻve. In the general case, the system is untrustworthy, and runaway kids are never the first pick of eligible decent parents.
âHow about you?â
âHuh?â
âAh, sorry, you donât have to tell me anything classified,â Jason said, a little flustered.
âNo, itâs okay! I was just thinking of something. I took over Drake Industries now. Been CEO since I was of legal age.â
Jason is giving him rapt attention of genuine interest, something Tim isnât used to unless heâs in a suit or in a board room. âI know youâre a genius and all, but the company on top of doing your nightly job canât be healthy.â
âYeah,â Tim rubs the back of his head, he canât believe heâs going to admit it to Jason. âTo be honest, Iâve been doing more CEO rather than going out in the field. I find it actually more helpful to just donate a bunch of money and go hack peopleâs backgrounds to watch them for corruption, then play whistleblower if they do. I go down to the field only when all of the above failed, but it rarely does. Itâs way easier to solve things with money and a little hacking.â
âOh, just finding that out now, rich boy?â Jason smirks playfully, and Tim chuckles.
âYeah yeah, laugh it up. I admit, I was very sheltered. The vigilante works opened my eyes a ton.â
âGood then,â Jason softly smiles, âYouâre doing good things.â
Tim âthough touchedâ feels instantly awkward at the genuine praise, âYeah, and the sleep is good too.â
Jason laughed, âI know right? I took a long sleep after I put down the helmet too.â
Then they talk. After theyâve passed the awkwardness of past wounds and scars, Jason finally eased up and shows his true self, a compassionate person with a sass and dark humor. It shows in how Jasonâs eyes light up whenever he talks about his children, saddened at times whenever he talks about how they get there. Thereâs lingering sadness in his voice, yet he seems to be at peace with what he has now. âIt works for us,â he says. âThe children stay safe and I homeschool them myself. This is exactly how I always picture it.â
It's endearing how much Jason had changed. Beneath all that anger and bloody murder is this sweet gentle-hearted person, and Tim likes this person very much. Tim finds that he has a lot in common with Jason. Tim is surprised himself that heâs having fun talking to Jason. Thatâs why when Timâs phone rang from a reminder, Tim cursed.
âWhat? What is it?â Jason asked worriedly.
âNothing, just a meeting which Iâm going to be late to.â It's an important meeting, one that Tam will nag him for if heâs late, but he doesnât know why itâs so heavy to move, âI gotta go.â
Jason smiles and nods, âYeah, you do. Thank you for coming, really,â he says earnestly, eyes so honest and intense that Tim paused for a while.
âSure, uh- sorry for getting back at you so late.â
Jason shakes his head, âIt was never too late, Iâm just glad you came.â
Tim smiles, âIâm glad too, itâs good to see you. Iâll catch you around!â he waves and runs out of the building, rushing to the nearest main road for a taxi.
   Jason watches Tim walks away from the window.
âWas it him that youâve been waiting for?â says a voice behind him.
âNo.â
A pause. âYour mindâs been made, then. Are you sure about this, Jason?â
âYes, Iâm sure. Someone needs to be there for the kids.â Jason turns around to face the voice. âThank you, Osra.â
The teenager in all black looks at Jason with one eye, âOnce they leave, what will you do then?â
Jason doesnât reply.
âYou can always change your mind,â Osra says and Jason only smiles at them.
The sound of children breaks his reverie. He returns to them.
  ++++
  It takes Tim a full day until he realizes that he didnât get any contact information on Jasonâs orphanage. He was too absorbed in talking to him that he didnât even snoop around the rest of Jasonâs orphanage, not even on his way out! Not to mention that Tim only figured this out when he wanted to slide in some âanonymous donationâ to Jasonâs orphanage.
Naturally, Tim digs deeper, only to hit a stump yet again. They did have a donation account, way back before the invention of credit cards. When Tim was meeting up with Jason thinking he was meeting him in a safe house, Tim didnât bother to research the Red Poppy Orphanage. He shouldâve. Damn.
Brushing away self-lament, Tim gets into it and found the previous warden of Red Poppy Orphanage. He built another orphanage in a better part of Gotham called The St. Nicholas Orphanage a year after the explosion. Itâs a generational occupation. Currently, the warden of St. Nicholas Orphanage is the daughter of the first warden. Tim checks her background and finds that she has a few bank accounts, but none are wired nor connected to the Red Poppy Orphanage on the edge of Gotham.
This can only mean two things. Jason took over the Red Poppy Orphanage, or he was running it illegally once it was closed. The latter seems to be the most logical, Jason had been offline as Red Hood since facing off with Batman while withholding the Joker. Right after then, Bludhaven exploded, along with the edge of Gotham where The Red Poppy Orphanage was. UnlessâŠ
Tim raises up from his work desk and walks down to the basement of his house where he disguised his supercomputer behind a pretentious man cave. He goes through aerial scans of Gotham on the day of the explosions. Theyâre images from Watchtowerâs satellite, it was old footage that only took a picture every five seconds.
Tim started to narrow his eyebrows when he puts up the aerial footage of the Red Poppy Orphanage before the explosion because itâs already abandoned even then.
Or it could be nothing, he just assumed that it was in ruins because of the explosion. The information hadnât been relevant by then.
Tim goes through the frames, then lo and behold, Red Hood among the ruins, noticeably slow and limping towards the building that had used to be an orphanage. Itâs a few hours after Jasonâs explosion. Timâs initial assumption was right, it was already Jasonâs safe house. Tim continues to watch the building to spot Jason walking out of there. He watches until a year forward, but nothing. He even put the map up and try to see if there was any possible underground exit, but there was none. He couldâve built it, but the time frame doesnât add up unless he has powered friends and meta-technology. Tim canât find any of Red Hoodâs associates that can build him an underground tunnel in a short time frame. The fact is solidified, that Jason didnât go out for a year.
He could be laying low, or recovering from his injury⊠but a year?
Tim keeps going forward in time, trying to spot Jason ever going out of the building. He knows Jason mustâve been out at one point, but Tim had this sinking feelingâŠas he keeps going forward.
Two years.
Three years.
Four years.
Five years.
Six years.
Then finally to the recent time, just yesterday, Tim spots himself⊠leaving an abandoned building.
Tim pushed himself up so fast that his chair tipped backward. He touches his temple, massaging a pulse thatâs gaining pain. Tim blinks, hoping heâs just hallucinating from the irresponsible caffeine intake. He blinks, looks away, paces, and takes deep breaths. Tim watches the footage again, itâs still the same.
Itâs still Tim, coming in, then rushing out, out of a building thatâs cracked and almost falling apart.
Tim whips out his phone and called Jasonâs number. It rings and rings and once again, fell to voice mail.
âThis is Jason Todd, leave a message.â beep
Tim canât take this. Thereâs no way⊠No way!
In a rush and blind panic, Tim rushed out only with a jacket on top of his pajamas and his car key. He hissed and flinched as he stepped out of his room, a painful reminder that itâs day time as the sun shined right on his eyes. Blinking the white spots away, he goes to the parking lot with his exclusive lift access.
He speeds through the busy street and got a few curses but Tim didnât care. Eventually, the road gets less busy the closer he got to the edge of Gotham, only to be met with a roadblock. Tim cursed at himself for forgetting why he had come in a taxi the previous time. He parked his car, towed be damned, and ran.
Tim heaves and gasps, standing there in front of an orphanage that had never been. The Red Poppy Orphanage, the metal plate said, right there on the barren land, bent and rusted.
âWhat⊠the actual fuckâŠâ Tim gasped, looking at the half-destroyed building, no color left on its cracked wall. He walks inside, hesitant and in disbelieve at what heâs seeing.
He was here yesterday where it was brightly colored, filled with childrenâs drawings, and lots of small desks and chairs. Nothing now. The door is completely gone, broken at the hinge. The paints had chipped and scattered all over the floor. There are rotten papers on the corners and no sign of the desk and chairs that he had seen. Tim feels crazy when he enters the wardenâs room and only sees a rotten office desk, and a single coffee mug.
Tim calls Jasonâs number again. It rings in his ears.
Then faintly, a ringtone joins the dial.
Tim felt his heart skip a beat as he distances himself from his phone and hears the faint digital ringtone familiar of a burner phoneâs. Tim follows it with all the keen sense he had honed as Red Robin.
The ringtone sounds muffled, but it couldnât be far. Tim steps out of the warden's room and feels a loose plank right outside it. Tim pulls out a few planks that reveal a hinged door under them. Thereâs a ladder heading down, and the ringtone echoes from below. Wary, Tim descends.
The moment Tim sets foot on the floor, the corridor is lit up all the way to the parted door at the end. Sensors. As he suspected from the very beginning, itâs Jasonâs safe house. The power reserve is not empty yet, meaning that Jason rarely stays here. He must have⊠what other explanation could it be?
The closer Tim walks towards the parted iron door, the louder the ringtone. Tim opens the door, the sensors automatically turn the light on.
âThis is Jason Todd, leave a message.â beep
Timâs phone slips from his hand, landing with a crisp crack on the concrete floor.
His eyes wonât leave the brown shirt under the leather jacket, the gun holster around the thigh, worn by a skeleton of whatâs left of a human body, slumped on the floor by the cupboard. A red domino mask on its lap.
Tim looks away, trying to think⊠of something else, that it isnât Jason, it canât be. Even though at the furthest room thereâs a board full of newspaper clippings of Batman and Joker, a red target circled at Tim in a Robin costume. Even though there are spare Red Hood helmets hung on the walls along with guns and ammo. Even though within the newspaper clipping, thereâs a shot of Red Hood, wearing exactly what the skeleton is. No, itâs not Jason, Tim just saw Jason yesterday. Perhaps this is all a dream. Tim is having a very bad dream. Tim unclenches the fist that he didnât realize had tightened so bad his nails dug into his palm, bloody and hurts, but he doesnât wake up.
Tim picks up his cracked phone with numb hands and dials Jasonâs phone again. Tim jolts when the ringtone sounds closer than he thought. Thereâs a glow and vibration in one of the corpseâs pockets.
The pocket stops glowing. âThis is Jason Todd, leave a message.â beep
As if itâs not enough, Tim investigates further onto the desk. Thereâs an open notebook full of scribbles, numbers, plans, gut-wrenching confessions. Drafts to Timâs letter.
I didnât mean it I swear! I never wanted to be this-
This is not me. This is not me. This is not me anymore. Jason Todd had stayed dead I donât know what I am. I donât know what the Lazarus pit brought back to Jason Toddâs body-
Tim, Iâm sorry. Please, live. God please-
You were barely older than I was when I almost fucking kill you. I had become the monster that killed me. I was so blind Tim, I couldnât see past my rage. Even now-
He needs to pay, even if Iâm going down with him- He needs to pay.
Iâm sorry for dragging your dad to the crossfire but he was my dad too, and I need answers before I drag the monster down with me.
Iâm sorry Tim, Iâm so sorry. You didnât deserve any of it. I donât know how to make it up to you, to all the pain I inflicted on you.
I wish I could-
Then on the last page, a few pieces of paper are left by the ring of the book. The torn page that was sent to Tim.
âYou came back.â
Tim swiftly turns, flicking the switchblade disguised as the keychain of his car key. An unimpressed dark eye stares back at him.
âYou!â Tim points at the emo teen standing by the doorframe. Tim chokes on his breath, overwhelmed by the letters, by the bones wrapped in thin dried flesh tissues, and the apparent hallucinations. âYouâre not real either!â Because he didnât see this person in the aerial footage too.
The person says nothing, and Tim is shaking with rage, âWho are you? What did you do to me?!â
âEver heard of limbo?â
Thereâs a pregnant pause that follows, and Tim breaks it with a loud âWHAT?â
âLimbo, a place between-â
âI know what Limbo fucking is! Itâs not real!â
âIs it?â
The teen lifts their hand, and in an instant, the place changes: cleaner, and the body is gone.
âWhat-â
The door slams open, Jason walks through the door, walks through the teen like theyâre a ghost. Jason is walking towards Tim. Frozen in shock, Tim doesnât move away, and Jason walks through him too. Jason, whose holding his bleeding neck, he's covered in soot. The explosion mustâve propelled a shrapnel to his neck. Jason is breathing hard, barely does, it sounds wet. Blood had gotten to his lungs. Tim watches horrifiedly as Jason scrambles to get a box under the bed, only to pause. Jason stared at the open med kit, hands trembling yet unmoving by the sides of the box, all while the deep cut in his neck is bleeding profusely.
âJason?â Tim says, forgetting that Jason canât hear him.
With one small gesture, Jason closed the med kit box with a deafening click.
Tim felt his heartbeat on his neck when Jason weakly pushed the box back under his bed.
âWhat are you doing⊠what is he doing!â Tim says to the other person in the room, who said nothing back.
Jason laid back against the cupboard, head lolled to the side as he lifts his hand to brush against the gash at his neck. Tim got a full view of it, it was deeper than he thought, and there are no shrapnel lodged in his throat. So Jason is either stupid enough to take out the shrapnel or he was attacked. Tim faintly remembers that Red Hoodâs body armor under the leather jacket is white, not completely red nor glossy.
Jason did nothing. Just sitting there as his breathing becomes shallower by the second. His hand drops like a dead weight on his side. His gritted teeth loosened to parted lips, trying to breathe. Slowly, the domino mask peeled from his face, revealing teal eyes drenched in tears, turning blue and vacant.
âWait⊠wait no!â Tim hurriedly grabs Jasonâs shoulder. The image of Jason disperse, and the skull lolled toward Tim instead. Tim gasps, jerking away from Jasonâs remains. This close, Tim can see faint traces of human tissue keeping the bones together.
Tim gulps, heâs stepping away, shellshocked. He met Jason yesterday, it had felt real. The memories in Timâs head feel as real as any other day. Tim can still remember Jason telling him that the orphanage is his whole lifeâs dream.
When Tim spun around, the person that brought him to the past is still there, standing with one eye on Tim.
âWhy⊠Why did you show me this?â
The teen darkens, becoming one shadow and one eye, âBecause youâre the only one who came for him.â
Tim doesnât understand what heâs seeing or who heâs seeing, but peculiarly, he doesnât feel in danger, âWhy did he do it?â
âI donât know, maybe you can ask him yourself.â
All too sudden, in a blink, Tim is no longer in the bunker. The instant transition from the dusty dark and gloomy safe house to the brightly colored room and sunny light makes Tim feel dizzy. Theyâre at the back door of the orphanage. Lots of drawings on the walls, small tables and chairs placed around the room, and books and toys scattered everywhere. A couple of kids run toward them, they stop and stare at Tim.
âHey! Are you a new soul?â
âHow did you die?â
âHow old are you?â
âDo you wanna go play hopscotch?â
Tim goes catatonically still, staring at them, processing their questions on top of everything.
âOsra, is he okay?â Says one of the children. Tim looks back to see the shadow is once again in their casual all-black get-up.
âHeâs not a new soul, just someone to visit Jason,â Osra says.
âOh! Finally! Iâve never seen a visitor before!â
âCome on! Jason is back here!â
They pull Timâs hand to the field at the back of their orphanage, too luscious and green for anything from Gotham. Tim doesnât know how the children (souls?) are able to touch him. Now that he thought of it, he never touched Jason. The moment the children see their friends running around in the fields, they let him go. Jason was in the middle of chaotic children, setting up a picnic. Thereâs a peaceful smile on Jasonâs face, the same that Tim saw yesterday. The man looks happy, content. Heâs looking at the dozens of children like theyâre his own. Heâs hugging a small toddler that he tried to put shoes on.
âWhat is this place?â
âI told you before,â Osra says from behind him.
Tim watches the children, âThen why are there kids here?â
âRestless souls know no age. Once upon a time, these kids were scared, angry, hungry, longing, hateful, sad. Their feelings are so strong that once they died all too sudden, they ended up in my domain.â Osra looks around, âJust an eternal place, alike the living but not quite.â
Before Tim can ask for more, Jason looks up from the toddler in his arms toward Tim. Jason seems as if he had seen a ghost. Jason approaches him, or maybe Tim does, but as soon as they're within talking distance, Tim blurts out:
âWhy?â
Instinctually, Jason reached up to his neck while his eyes cast down as if remembering. Then he looks up at Tim, smiling somberly, âThereâs no one else left to live for.â
It felt like someone sunk a knife into Timâs chest and twists it, âWhat about your dream then? All this couldâve been a reality!â Tim shouts, he doesnât know why his heart is pounding. âYou couldâve lived for yourself!â
Jason shakes his head slightly, still with a smile, âThat part of me never came back.â
This is not me anymore. Jason Todd had stayed dead I donât know what I am. I donât know what the Lazarus pit brought back to Jason Toddâs body-
âNo⊠Jason, thatâs not true. Do you hear me? Thatâs not true!â
âYour time is up, Timothy Jackson Drake,â Osraâs voice surrounds all.
The feeling of being pulled backward is all too sudden, but Jason is fading away, further, slowly.
âWait! Wait, Jason! Why are you here?!â Tim clawed into the air, to the image of Jason far away, still holding his neck. Tim came to a realization too late, âJason! Who did this to you?!â
Tim zoomed back, Jason is swallowed by a bright light and Tim fell hard on his back. Groaning, Tim raises by the elbows, and the white light slowly dissipates into the real world. A concrete broken building that once was the Red Poppy Orphanage. His feelings are disconnected, and Tim goes down the same corridor he had found out. Itâs the same sensor automated lights, the same corridor, the same bunker, and the same corpse of who once was Jason Todd. Tim looks hard into the face that is no longer there. Eyes hollowed, teeth exposed, nose gone, only dried tissues sticking to bones.
With the professionalism of a vigilante that had seen too much, Tim picks up Jasonâs body and lay him down on his bed. Tim rummages Jasonâs notes for clues, finding only one hint inside the med kit box under Jasonâs bed. As he slides out of the box, Tim notices a seam on the floor, itâs another hinged door that opens to a small and dead cooler. There are expired blood bags inside a pool of what once was ice. Jason couldâve lived, he couldâve saved himself.
Tim stops that train of thought ânothing to be done about it now, and he needs to move. Inside the medkit box âin between medicine and toolsâ is a photo of Jason as a child, smiling with a gap tooth in the arms of his mother, Catherine. On the back of the photo, there are words in two different handwriting.
âMy precious son, the light of my life. Remember that I will always love you, even when I canât say it to you. Iâm so sorry.â
âI miss you every day that Iâm awake. The only solace I have now is that Iâll finally meet you again, once Iâm done.â
Right under is a name, Mnemosyne Cemetery.
Timâs heart clenched, and his hands shake as he puts the picture in his pocket for safekeeping.
âIâll be right back,â he says to Jason.
His car is towed, but that didnât matter. Tim calls a funeral director he trusts with his secret life, and his voice sounds robotic. Tim waits by the street until she came. He lets her wait outside the building for Tim to come out with Jasonâs body in his arms. The funeral director is a friend of Tim Drake and Red Robin. Tasya says nothing as she opened the casket.
The walk back to the car is silent, yet itâs heavy with the weight of Jasonâs remains in a casket atop a gurney.
âWho is this person, Tim?â She asked.
Tim has no hesitation, âFamily.â
He trusts Jason with Tasya as she hauls the casket containing Jasonâs corpse into the van. Tim is staring ahead emptily while sitting in the passenger seat, still in his pajamas from the day before. Tim feels nothing, numb to his core, barely processing what he heard and saw. Whether he truly did.
Tasya slams the door of the driverâs seat, even then, Tim doesnât flinch. She starts to drive âI found Catherine Todd in Mnemosyne Cemetery. I manage to reserve the spot beside her, itâs tight, but I keep it off the record as per your request. Iâm afraid weâll have to dig the earth ourselves.â
âIâll help you.â
Since Tim is a special customer to a special request, things get hands-on. Tasya uses her inhuman strenght to carry Jasonâs casket to the far part of the cemetery. Tim remembers that Bruce had arranged Catherineâs funeral himself, and now Tim is arranging their sonâs funeral.
Tim and Tasya dug. Between the two of them, they got deep enough in less than an hour.
âWait,â Tim says as sheâs about to lower⊠to lower Jason to the ground. âCan you open the casket a moment?â
Tasya nods and does as he requests. Tim takes out the picture and put it on top of his chest, under the leather jacket. He canât even put Jason in a funeral suit nor embalm him properly, not if he wants things off the record. Jason deserves so much better.
Tasya and Tim both lower Jason to the ground.
âCan I do this part by myself?â Tim says, his voice starting to break.
âAnything you need, Tim.â She paused for only a moment. âWhat is his name? For the tombstone.â
âJason Todd. 1997 to 2016.â Tim gulps, his eyes stung. Heâs older than Jason ever will be.
âWhat words do you want to engrave it with?â
Itâs the first crack to his icy numbness, âI donât know⊠I-I donât know.â
âAt peace, Tim. You can change your mind later. Iâll leave you alone now.â
He doesnât hear her steps, but Tim starts to cover Jason as soon as he feels alone. His chest starts to hurt, and his head spins. His eyes blur more when Jasonâs casket starts to disappear behind the dirt. Tim is fully crying when he finally put back all the ground that was dug out.
âYou didnât deserve this,â Tim whispered, weakened by the lump in his throat. The reality of what just happened finally dawned on Tim. How fucked up everything is, how fucking real the souls he just met. Jasonâs soul is stuck forever in there, living in a constant dream that will never be real.
âYou hear me, Jason!!?â Tim screamed, âYou didnât deserve this! You didnât deserve to die alone in a bunker! I donât fucking know what or who you think you are but youâre a real person. Youâre Jason Todd and youâre alive!... You were alive.â Timâs sobs break his screaming streak, âYou deserve to live out that dream. You didnât deserve to die like this.â Tim wipes his face from his tears, âIâm glad that I get to know you. I hope you find peace.
After Tim drained all his tears and mourned his share of grief, he walks away with heavy steps. Tim wonders if Tim hadnât known Jasonâs soul at all, would it still be this painful?
Tim doesnât linger much at the thought, because no matter what, he doesnât regret ever knowing Jason.
 +++++
 The rest of the family figured it out on their own without ever asking Tim firsthand. Not that Tim hid it anyway. Tim had Jasonâs letter on his desk in his home office, his computer is partially sharing a server with Batcomputer and Oracleâs computer. Despite the breach of privacy, Tim is glad he didnât need to say a thing to tell them. Even though half of a dozen people snuck into his home, they leave no trace so itâs easier to pretend that they didnât. At some point, Jasonâs grave is re-dug and reburied. Whoever one of them did it mustâve done it for confirmation, because thereâs new DNA data logged into the shared server.
Confirmed Match: Jason Todd.
Tim doesnât want to waste any energy to figure out who. It doesnât matter anymore anyway, and perhaps, they needed the confirmation. A group of skeptics that they are.
Things did change though. The Wayne family of vigilantes isnât known for healthy coping mechanisms. None of them talk about the elephant in the room, but it shows.
Alfred is quieter, but he never leaves any of them out of his sight for too long if they ever visit. Alfred will insist on having family dinners even more frequently, leaving one chair empty. Barbara seeks out Alfred to talk to him, but Tim never asked what they talked about. Dick is MIA from work and from being Nightwing for two weeks. When he re-emerges looking a little haunted when he smiles, with gaunter cheeks, and sunken eyes, no one asks where he has been nor what heâs been doing.
Bruce retracts, he doesnât talk, and he takes solo missions without telling any of them except for Alfred. Little do they know, that they wonât see Bruce for months. Tim doesnât come to the manor anymore, not until Alfred insists he comes for dinner, but Tim doesn't linger any longer than he should.
For those who never get to know Jason â Damian, Cassandra, Kate, Duke, and Stephanieâ they gave the rest some space with silent support. Stephanie came to Timâs house for a week straight just to hang out. Cassandra gives them all a hug out of nowhere, sometimes she lingers around one of them. Duke awkwardly hangs around them just to be around them. Kate caves to Alfredâs insistence on her joining dinner when she had never bothered to before. Damian is notably less prickly, and he adds Jason to the family painting, an adult Jason when he was last seen at 19.
One coping mechanism they all have in common is overworking themselves. Had it not for the family dinners insisted on them by Alfred, none of them wouldâve seen each other for a long time.
No one asks Tim about Jason, despite all of them knowing that Tim is the one that discovered the body. The clues explained themselves. Jasonâs old letter is newly opened. Tim tracks the number behind the letter and finds nothing the first time he checked the area. Then he finds him the second time after researching the place with better equipment. Though can't explain the panic of the second day, the ease of the first day, or why he doesnât call any of them when he found Jasonâs body. Despite so, no one asks. Tim never tells them what he saw, never told them that he had spoken to Jason. It's no use anyway, they'll either not believe him or they'll be even sadder than they already are and Jason stays dead. Tim also didn't tell them about his suspicion about the severe wound on Jason's neck, the one that kills him. Or, the wound that Jason let kill him. Though, from the way Bruce is behaving, at least he knows.
A few days after Tim buried Jason, he came back to Jasonâs bunker to tidy up his stuff. There are a lot of Jasonâs personal belongings there. Letters, diaries, books, murder plans, and a scarce collection of family photos. Including one with Bruce when Jason won a spelling bee contest. Stephanie helped him with Jasonâs stuff even when Tim didnât ask. Tim doesnât know where to put them, but once he arrived at the manor, Alfred took them over and put them in Jasonâs old room which is still untouched but kept clean. When Alfred broke down crying at the spelling bee picture he took, Stephanie and Tim stayed with him.
Jasonâs grave is never lacking flowers, and no wild grass ever runs rampant. His and his motherâs.
A few weeks later, Tim noticed a different engraving on the plaque of Jasonâs tombstone.
âBeloved Son. Forever our Family.â
The words make Tim feel bittersweet about the whole thing, a little bit of anger too, things he has no right to have an opinion on. Tim only bitterly thought: Where was their love when Jason lived again? Sure, Jason got back screaming bloody murder, couldnât there be any other way to talk him down? Use all of their skills combined to contain him and talk⊠just talk. Jason is nice and funny once you sit down and talk to him. Jason was.Â
Now Jason is in a plane of realm that none of them can reach. Jason who died alone and so unloved that his soul told Tim that he still believed that. Jason is going to believe heâs alone and unloved in a forever limbo.
Tim hopes âhe even praysâ that Jason knows now.
Tim hopes Jason is reunited with his mom, somehow.
Tim hopes that Jason finds the peace that was owed to him.
 ++++
 Osra feels their world shift, as thus the peculiar world of lingering souls. All the souls feel it, but none of them know what it means, including Osra, the Guardian of the souls in the realm between worlds, or most souls taught them that it was called limbo. There are too many souls in limbo, Osra knows the story of every single one of them. A soul named Jason Todd of Gotham takes his interest the most.
Jasonâs soul is unlike theyâve ever seen in all their existence. Jasonâs death had been final, his resurrection had been an anomaly in the laws of the realms. Osra found Jason lingered around when he died at fifteen, the saddest little thing that was looking for his dad before Osra coax him to let go and pass to the afterlife where heâll meet his mom instead. Some time passes before Jason lingered in limbo yet again, still Jason of Gotham but with a wreck of a soul.
Jason the restless soul, always moving, never resting, and broken apart to pieces that hover closely to each other. Not quite a whole soul, not truly scattered that he had lost himself. As if Jason is holding onto himself. Too scattered apart and restless to move further into the afterlife, nothing Osra does can fix Jasonâs soul.
Osra watches as Jason tried to keep himself together, adopting a bunch of other restless souls of Gotham to live in this self-created fantasy. Jasonâs illusion is so strong that it alters limbo. Alas, Osra lets him be, it is not their predicament whether limbo stays the same or not. Osra merely keeps an eye on the souls, thatâs why when another new soul enters Jasonâs pocket illusion of limbo, Osra knows.
The first one had been Tim. Timâs desire to meet Jason and Jasonâs restless soul calling for any closure pulls them together. It is not new for the soul of the living and the dead to meet in limbo, but Osra had been surprised. Those two never had a connection in the living world but they manage to reach each other and meet.
The second soul visiting Jason is less of a surprise, they came from the afterlife.
âJason?â the new soul calls, stepping closer to where Jason is teaching the young souls about an education theyâll never need.
Jason crumbles when he looks at the source of the voice, ââŠmom?â
Catherine Todd of Gotham, whose soul had lingered in limbo before finally passing on after knowing her son had died at 15.
âJason, my baby,â She sobbed, running towards her son with open arms as Jason met her in the middle. She cradles her son in her arms as Jason falls apart. She holds him tightly, preciously, kissing his temple, things that she wished she had done but was unable to because of her weakness. âMy son, JasonâŠâ
âWhy did you leave me?â Jason sobbed. His soul becomes dimmer, âWas it because Iâm not your blood son?â
âNo!â Catherine pushes him, cradling her sonâs face in her hands. âYouâve always been my son. I love you like my own. Iâm sorry that I failed you,â Catherine breaks apart. âIâm sorry, my baby. Please forgive me.â
Slowly, as if moving in honey, Jasonâs soul comes together and heals, once again becoming whole. For a long moment, the mother and child hold each other. Mending, intertwining.
âCome with me, Jason,â Catherine says to the top of her sonâs head, kissing his temple. âYou donât need to stay here.â
âButâŠâ Jason looks back to the lingering soul he had collected and found. The souls that he nurtured and soothed as much as he can.
âThey can come too,â Catherine says with a smile, a proud look in her eyes.
Jasonâs eyes find Osraâs being, trying to find confirmation. Osra â who in Jasonâs eyes is a dark-haired teenager that had been the only one kind to him when he was in an orphanage â nods and smiles. Jasonâs pursed lips frown and tremble, holding back feelings of relief and joy. He opens his arms to the young souls that ran to his embrace. Osra rarely hears laughter in their realm, but they cherish it each time. Jasonâs soul had intertwined with the young souls, wherever he goes, they go.
âThank you,â Catherine said to Osra, as Jason does as well, the young souls say goodbye to them as they all go to the light.
Osra knows that their gratitude is misplaced, but theyâll make sure to pass them on to the right person.
  ++++++
  Despite the heavy mourning period, life goes on in the Wayne family household. The talking grievers leave the silent grievers alone. As the latter, Tim feels grateful for not being prodded.
Tim is cleaning his penthouse one day and finds the old phone that he had wanted to take apart for a prototype UV gun which he had abandoned when he found it on top of a book containing Jasonâs letter. So much for that project. The phone couldâve still been useful though, you never know.
So, Tim goes to his attic to put back his old phone. Goes to the same box he picked it from where he also put back Jasonâs letter.
Tim opened the box and froze. Red poppies in full bloom greet him, growing out of Jasonâs letter. As impossible as it is, Tim knows what happened with a surprising certainty that Jason is finally at peace.
The tears in Timâs eyes are from relief. This is the closest to justice that Jason can have.
