#jot@

[xiuhxochitl]

Selfie because why the fuck not. Grown a “beard” and started wearing crop tops since last time you’ve seen me lol

[joteria-y-poesia]

En el Nombre de Nadie

Por la señal de la santa cruz Before I learned how to talk, I learned how to percinarme How to paint a giant cross on my body with the image of a man on each end. I learned that my body was never meant to be my own; It was a temple that was not mine I learned that my sole purpose in this world  was to serve men and sacrifice my wants and needs for theirs I learned that catechisms and baptisms were a bigger stepping stone in life Before loving my body and myself

De nuestros enemigos I was outed to my parents when I was 18 years old that same night we prayed the rosary three times ruega por ella ruega por ella ruega por ella My dad told me I needed help that it was ok to be confused but not for too long he blamed my moma for not talkin to me about what it means to be a mujer he told me I needed to read the word of God His word So I did and it told me to kill myself And that I was never meant for this world My existence was reduced to nothing but sodomy before  I could even look at my naked body in the mirror much less find it “sexy” He taught me the language of shame and I spoke it as if it were my native tongue

Libranos Senor, Dios nuestro Every time they tried to save me I died a little I had to meet with priest after priest “but how feminine do you feel?” they’d ask giving me a scale 1-10 to measure all my flaws Sundays became a time to repent and reflect on what I couldn't change  I drank the blood of christ wishing it would cleanse me  drank more and learned what it meant to be numb

En el nombre del Padre I learned that God does not judge  unless you are a mujer My life, dictated by men padre y hijo who refused to call themselves machistas only because they'd never lay a hand on a women but every golpe behind their words said otherwise as I neatly folded away my “no’s” into the pockets of my shame and spoke a silence that kept me safe and kept them happy they wanted to pray the gay away so I became my own religion instead:

Por la senal de la santa Jota de nuestras compañeras líbranos de estas chingaderas en el nombre del pinche padre y del puto hijo Fuck your machismo!  y de ese pinche abismo  me salvo yo

R.T.C

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