So in high school we would have like voluntary assemblies we could go to. Like you could either go to them or hang out in the cafeteria. During such an assembly me and the wife were chilling in the cafeteria and shit and I turned away to talk to someone or some shit I can't remember and then I turn back to him and he like throws something at my face. I don't dodge because that's not something I'm great at and this thing hits me right in the fucking lip. So hard I swear I heard my teeth click on impact. The fucking thing drops to the table. The wife is laughing his ass off. My face feels like it might fucking throb right off my face. It's a cough drop. This fatherfucker threw a cough drop at my face. Fast forward to my next class and my lip is swollen precisely in the shape of that fucking cough drop. My teacher spots it and is like, "Tesk are you eating candy in class?" And I open my mouth to respond no cause I'm not and my fucking lip SPLITS THE SHIT OPEN AND NOW IM BLEEDING ONTO MY FACE AND DESK AND MY TEACHER IS FREAKING THE FUCK OUT AND ALL I CAN THINK IS THIS IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT SCRUFFLES.