Fridays
Summary: AU. Your life changes the minute you meet Peggy Carter on the subway. What happens when she takes an interest in your personal life?
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader (+ a lot of friendship reader and Peggy)
Word Count: 7,000 (just for you Caro!)
Warnings: language, fluff, angst, mentions of Alzheimer’s, character death, awkwardness
A/N: This is long, and it’s a lot of reader and Peggy becoming friends with Bucky x reader woven in. Just a fair (spoilery) warning, it’s hella sad with a hopeful ending. I wrote this in one sitting, too, stupid JSD! This is my submission for @sanjariti‘s 7k Follower Celebration Challenge. Congrats!!! My prompt was “Is this seat taken?”
You stared from the safety of the platform as the L train barreled down the tracks. It was a minute late, but that was typical on work days with rush hours, and Friday was never an exception on the New York City subway system.
Manhattan was buzzing with people, both locals and tourists alike, but you just wanted to get home. Your new job was going well, but it had taken a little bit to adjust to all the new people, new tasks, new everything.
The train doors opened and you stepped inside, immediately heading for one of the many available seats. The doors shut, and you were off to the next stop. The Bedford Avenue stop was the first before the train headed further into the borough.
Brooklyn was the freaking best, even if you didn’t live in a ritzy, celebrity-filled neighborhood. You had a decent apartment (and a cat), a nice roommate (named Gamora – she claims her dad was a real weirdo), and a job you really liked.
Another crowd rushed off at the next stop. There was, however, one older woman who, despite the other seats available, walked over to you with a small smile.
“Is this seat taken?” she asked. Her British accent was immediately noticeable.
“No,” you said, gesturing around. “There’s not many people on here right now. There’s more than one empty seat.”
Either she didn’t get your hint, or she ignored it. Either way, she moved closer to you.
“I noticed. They’re all heading toward the excitement, not away from it.” The woman sat down gingerly, sighing in what could only be relief once she was off her feet. Her wrinkled brown eyes turned to look at you. “I’m Margaret, but my friends call me Peggy.”
“Uh, nice to meet you,” you said, offering your hand.
This was alarming. You weren’t anti-social but you weren’t exactly prepared for this. Do you call her Peggy or Margaret? What else were you supposed to do? You were told most New Yorkers didn’t like to chat on the subway.
“Pleasure,” she replied, shaking your hand gently. “And you are?”
“My name is Y/N.”
“Ah, lovely name.” Peggy gave a nod, then let her eyes drift back to the windows. “I don’t typically take this line, but I’m in a bit of a rush today.”
“I’m just trying to get back to my apartment,” you told her, leaning back against the hard plastic seat. “No excitement for me, thanks.”
Peggy hummed at you, giving you a little side-eye. “No date tonight? No one special?”
“No. You?”
You watched as her eyes clouded over with memories, and the corner of her mouth turned down a little. She masked the look fairly quickly with another polite smile. “Not anymore.”
It wasn’t in your nature to pry, but you didn’t want to shut her out if she wanted to talk, so you merely nodded.
Peggy sat beside you in silence for the rest of her ride. The first stop on the line in Brooklyn was hers, and when she slowly stood, she turned back to you with a gleam in her eye. “I’ll see you next week.”
“Wait, what?”
But your question was too late, and the doors shut behind her.
“Weird,” you muttered to yourself, shifting uncomfortably.
When your head hit the pillow later that night, you wondered if that was a threat or a promise.
---
That very next Friday evening, you found yourself looking forward to seeing Peggy again. She was the only one to talk to you on the subway so far that didn’t set off your internal stranger danger alarm.
Just as before, she got on the same stop as last time, moved slowly over to you, and smiled.
“Is this seat taken?”
“You know it’s not, Peggy,” you chuckled, shifting your bag out of her way. “How are you this fine evening?”
“I’m well. And yourself?”
“I’m good.”
“Still heading away from the excitement, I see.”
“I don’t mind roaming by myself, but I don’t quite feel up to facing Friday night Manhattan alone just yet.”
Peggy nodded. “We’ll have to see what we can do about that.”
“Oh geez,” you laughed, looking at the tunnel walls as you rode past. “What did you do for fun here, Peggy?”
“I think you mean what do I do for fun, thank you very much.” She straightened her back at that. “I go out with friends. Just because I’m older, that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten how to have a good time.”
“My apologies.”
She hmphed at you again. “I probably go out more than you, I imagine.”
You nodded. “I don’t doubt it at this point. All I do is work.”
“How do they treat you?”
“All right, I guess. It’s work.”
“When I was your age, no one would look at me unless I was getting their coffee. I felt like I was invisible. I hope it’s better for your generation.”
“It is,” you informed her. “But only slightly. My ideas still go unnoticed in meetings. But, if a man repeats my idea, suddenly it’s the best thing ever.”
“How very familiar that sounds. What a pity.” Peggy was silent for a moment, then a smile lit up her face. “If I can’t fix your work life, perhaps I can help your love life.”
You groaned, covering your face with your hands. “I don’t need help, Peggy.”
“What was that? Your voice was a bit muffled.”
“I said, I don’t need help.”
“Yes, because you’re doing such a smashing job of it yourself, I completely understand.”
This woman was funny as hell. She was quick to call you on your bullshit, and it was refreshing.
Her ride was over in what felt like record time, though, and as she waved goodbye, she promised that she’d come up with a plan by next Friday.
---
“I’ve got it!” Peggy was practically giddy sitting beside you.
“What now?” You knew in moments like this, over the many rides sitting beside Peggy, that there was nothing you could do to stop her from spilling her grand ideas once she had them.
Peggy had unsuccessfully made suggestions here and there to improve your personal life, but you found a logical excuse reason to shut the idea down every time (so far).
The two of you had these standing train dates for weeks now. Once, your boss tried to keep you late, and Peggy stood at the platform with her hands on her hips the following week like an angry grandmother.
You tried to be on time after that.
“I know a young man in my building who is recently single. Two floors up from me, if I remember correctly. He helped me move a potted plant to my place. He’s one of the good ones, Y/N. I think you’d really like him.”
“Sure, Peggy, whatever you think.” She hadn’t actually forced you to meet any of these future paramours, so you weren’t very concerned. “What’s he like?”
“He’s so handsome, that one. Brown hair, eyes as blue as an ocean but with a bit of grey to them, as if there was a great storm approaching. He’s funny and charming, such a helpful young man. He reminds me of someone…”
Her eyes glazed over again, and you can tell she wasn’t thinking about the young man that lived two floors up from her anymore. Peggy’s Alzheimer’s was getting worse, and you weren’t sure who to tell. Maybe you really ought to meet this guy, in case she needed someone to keep an eye on her.
“Peggy,” you murmured, placing a hand on her shoulder. You weren’t trained in what to do during moments like this, so you just tried to get her to focus. “You okay?”
She blinked hard several times, then turned back to you. A smile blossomed on her face. “I think I’ve come up with a plan, dove! There’s a young man in my building that’s been single for a long time. At least, I’ve not seen anyone with him in months. Let me give you my address just in case.”
You dug into your bag and found pen and a piece of paper, not because you wanted to meet this guy, but in case she forgot where she lived one day and needed you to get her home.
---
Peggy wasn’t on the train for the first Friday since you moved to Brooklyn.
It had been three months – three entire months of getting to know her and truly seeing her as your friend. She had so much wisdom (and sass) to impart, and your heart ached when you thought something might be wrong.
Luckily, you still had her address in your wallet. You got off the train at her usual stop, then used your phone map to guide you to the correct address. After a few wrong turns, you finally made it to the correct street.
Once you reached her building, you spotted a list of last names on the outside next to call buttons.
Dammit, what was her last name?
You realized she never told you her full name. Your hand made a fist once, twice, then on impulse, you pressed a button and waited.
No answer, no door opening, nothing.
“All right, let’s try…this one.” You pushed another button.
Still no answer.
“Come on, come on!”
The next step, per every movie and television show ever, was to push every single button until one of these residents finally let you in. You were just about to slam your hand against the entire column of buttons when you heard the sound of someone clearing their throat behind you. You froze, hand still in position.
“Excuse me, sorry, but are you looking for someone in particular, or do you just really like pushing buttons?”
You whirled around, your face growing hot as you locked eyes with someone who met the description of Peggy’s ‘nice young man.’ Maybe this was your ticket into the apartment. From what Peggy told you, he was really kind and caring…surely he wouldn’t let a little old lady suffer alone in her room?
“Peggy,” you blurted out, letting your hand drop to your side. “Margaret is her real name. She, uh…she never told me her last name, but she wasn’t on the train, and she’s been having these spells recently, and I got worried, and- “
“All right,” the guy said, holding a hand up. “Carter. That’s who you’re looking for. Peggy Carter. She’s on the first floor.” He pointed. “But I can let you in. Peggy’s been on bed rest this week.”
“Is she okay? Is something wrong?”
The guy eyed you as he opened the door, shifting the bags in his hand as he paused. “Are you her granddaughter or something?”
“No,” you admitted, shaking your head. “I just…I’m a friend.”
He kept his gaze on you, as if assessing your honesty, then finally opened the door wider for you to go inside.
“Thank you,” you breathed out, rushing in. “I’ve been so worried, I didn’t see her on the subway today.”
“Wait, you’re the girl she’s been trying to get me to go on a date with?”
You stopped in your tracks, turning your face toward him again. “You’re the nice young man from two floors up?”
He burst out laughing. “I can see she was trying to work her magic with you, too. I’m James, by the way, but everyone calls me Bucky.”
“What is it with this building’s residents and nicknames?” you wondered aloud, feeling like you were in your own sort of daze.
“I’m sorry?” He blinked those stormy blue eyes at you, making it easy to see why Peggy found him attractive.
He was really freaking good-looking. Like, way too good-looking to be standing in a lobby in a crummy building in Brooklyn with you right now. It was super weird to finally meet him after weeks of Peggy’s kind-hearted harassment.
“Sorry, never mind. I’m Y/N. It’s nice to finally put a name and face to my supposed future husband.”
He laughed again, and you felt this weird sort of warmth flooding your chest. Maybe you weren’t well enough to see Peggy, either. You pressed a hand to your forehead when Bucky turned away, just to double check.
“Well, let me know if anything’s wrong when you see Peggy. I check up on her from time to time. I don’t like it when I don’t see her for a day or so, either.”
You followed Bucky down a hall past the elevator bank.
“She’s in number one-oh-seven,” he told you, pointing down to the left. “I’m on the third floor, number three-ten, if you need me. I just have to set my bags down, but I can come back if you want.”
“Thanks,” you replied, offering a small smile. “I think it will be okay. If not, I know where to find you.”
With a nod, he turned and left you.
You glanced back down the hallway, taking a deep breath as you put one foot in front of the other, saying a silent prayer that she was well and you were just overreacting.
One, two, three knocks on the door, and soon you heard some light shuffling. A shadow appeared under the door in the shape of two feet.
When the door opened to reveal Peggy, you sighed in relief.
“Hello, Y/N,” she said with a mischievous look in her eye. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“You weren’t on the train,” you said quickly, shaking your head as you leaned a hand against the doorframe. “I was worried.”
“That’s sweet.” Peggy took a few slow steps backwards. “I’m just fine. Now won’t you come in and tell me all about your trip here? Was the train quite dull without me?”
You shut the door behind you as Peggy took a seat in an oversized armchair. “Are you sure you’re okay? I would rather think you just didn’t want to hang out with me anymore than think something was up. You have not missed a single Friday since I moved here.”
She blinked slowly, lifting her chin to look up at you. “I promise, I’m fine. Just took today off, is all. Now, about your trip?”
Something was off. She seemed far too happy to see you standing in her apartment.
It was almost like she planned it this way, which meant she probably had.
Your eyes narrowed. “Did you…did you stay home on purpose? To get me over here?”
“Now why would I do that?” Peggy’s brown eyes sparkled. “It’s not like I calculated the time it would take for you to get here with the known arrival time of the handsome young man from two floors up, now, I mean, really Y/N. Don’t be absurd.”
“That’s exactly what you did! You can’t just scare me like that to put your plan into motion, Peggy!” You couldn’t even believe this woman. “I was really worried!”
“I’m fine, dove. Any news about that handsome young man, though?”
You scoffed. “For your information, I did meet him at the door. He let me in here.”
“Good.”
“Peggy,” you sighed, feeling all the fight leave your body. “I was worried about you. I thought you had another episode, or something.”
She gave you a satisfied look, not sorry in the least. “Well come on then, sit down. I haven’t got all night to hear about how your introductions went!”
You shook your head again, but did as you were told.
---
Over the next couple weeks, you walked Peggy home from the subway stop. Sometimes she took your arm for support, and other times she batted your hand away indignantly. It didn’t bother you to add the extra steps to your trip home, and you actually felt better knowing that you were seeing her back safely, especially since her…episodes…were happening more frequently.
This also lent itself to seeing her attractive neighbor, Bucky. It was certainly a perk, though not your main motivation.
Peggy had clearly asked him to come over more often. Each visit provided you with more information. You found out his last name (Barnes), that he really liked cats (as evidenced by his reaction to a picture of yours), and that he was a professor (of finance) at Long Island University’s Brooklyn campus.
He asked all sorts of questions about you, too, and you soon found yourselves falling into a comfortable friendship.
Peggy was a little more than miffed at the idea of it being only friendship.
“I’m feeling rather cross with you at the moment, dove. You’re dragging your feet on purpose. You’re not even trying, nor giving him a chance.”
The two of you were seated once more in her small, cozy apartment, room one-oh-seven. Bucky was in the kitchen preparing tea, and you definitely didn’t want him to walk into this conversation or hear any piece of it from where he was.
“What’s wrong with it? I like new friends. It doesn’t always have to be more, Peggy.” You paused, not sure how to express yourself without seeming interested in dating him. There was no other way to put it. “Besides, he isn’t attracted to me.”
“You don’t know that, dove. And if he isn’t right now, that doesn’t mean he won’t be. It’s got to be because you’re so congenial. You need to get his engine revving, dove.”
“You’re making car analogies, now?” You gave her a look that plainly said she was crazy.
“You’ve got to flirt a little more,” she insisted, rolling her eyes at you. “Haven’t you got any flirt left?”
“I’m not very good at flirting, Peggy,” you practically hissed, trying to get her to not be so loud. “And I don’t want him to hear you say this stuff, so could you please knock it off for the time being?”
You knew she meant well. Peggy said many times already that she would feel better if she knew you were happy and in love. Everyone deserves to be happy and in love, she had told you with a dreamy look in her eye.
This time, though, she was acting like she wanted to get you married off as soon as possible, as if you were her own granddaughter. It was sweet until it made you want to jump out the front window in embarrassment.
“Fine. Be melodramatic about it. But, don’t get mad at me when I flirt with him.” She gave you a wicked grin. “I’ll show you how it’s done.”
Any retort you had died on your lips the second Bucky came back in with a tray. He set it down on the table and began to fix Peggy’s tea for her. Two sugars, light with the milk.
“Thank you, darling,” she said smoothly, winking at you over his head. “That’s so very kind of you. What a thoughtful young man you are.”
“It’s nothing, Peggy.” Bucky handed her teacup over very carefully. “Anyone can make a cup of tea.”
“Y/N doesn’t make them as well as you do,” she cooed.
“She’s not wrong,” you admitted, hiding your smile behind your own cup. You were more of a buy-caffeine-from-Starbucks aficionado these days.
Peggy took a sip, making an exaggerated face of bliss. “Perhaps you can show her how to make a proper cuppa, Bucky.” Her eyes flickered over to you for a second, before she returned to smiling at him.
Bucky smirked, realizing what Peggy was doing. “So, would I have to do that before or after Y/N and I get married, Peg?”
You hid your face a little more, biting your lip to hold your laughter back. Nailed it.
“Before, preferably,” Peggy replied nonchalantly. “Tea is a great relaxer, after all, and she’ll need to know in order to help relieve stress after your first baby is born.”
“Is that right?” Bucky glanced at you with a smile, then back to Peggy as he took his own sip of tea.
“Yes, though I’m sure you’re going to be a wonderful father. Helpful, to say the least, right? Steven is a lovely name for a boy. Of course, I wouldn’t expect you to name your daughter Margaret, but you should at least see how things go once you meet the little dear.”
“Won’t two children require more than just tea for stress relief?” you asked, playing along with Bucky’s joke.
Peggy turned to you, her expression serious. “Yes, but that’s what sex is for, dove.”
There was no stopping either you or Bucky as you both did spit-takes with the tea at her words.
“I’m so sorry, let me get- “
“I’ll get a towel, just wait he- “
The two of you both stood and went around the table at the same time, bumping into each other in your attempts to escape.
You blinked at him for a moment, getting lost in those damn blue eyes before you heard Peggy clear her throat again.
“I’ll get it,” you offered, shaking it off. “Stay with the schemer.”
Bucky cleared his throat, then nodded at you, turning back to the tea mess. “Okay.”
There was a towel hanging just there on the oven, but you needed a second to collect yourself.
Mostly, you needed a minute to clear your head from the images her words conjured in your silly, traitorous brain.
“Don’t forget the soda water, dove!”
You let out a deep sigh.
---
“I did not get dressed up for Bucky. I was at work. This is what I wore to work, Peggy.”
Okay, so maybe you did your hair differently…maybe you wore a nicer outfit…maybe you put on a little makeup…but you did it for you, not for any other reason.
“You keep telling yourself that, dove,” Peggy teased, patting your arm as you carefully led her down the sidewalk.
She had an okay day today, according to her, but the second she stood up to get off the subway, she had a dizzy spell. Peggy resented her medical issues, but you assured her that you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.
Sometimes, though, you didn’t know where she found the energy to tease you as much as she did. Frankly, you were exhausted coming up with rebuttals.
“I’m not just saying that. I had an important meeting today,” you protested, feeling your face heat up yet again.
“That, I’ll buy, Y/N. You absolutely have an important meeting that’s about to happen the moment we get to my apartment.”
There was just no stopping her once she was on a roll.
“You are infuriating, you know that right?”
Peggy chuckled, though it turned into a light cough. The two of you halted your steps while she tried to get control of it. You frowned in concern; she was obviously pretty congested. You would have to ask her about it once you were inside.
She gave a short nod, then started walking again. “You love it, dove, otherwise you’d have left me on the train mere moments ago, an old woman fending for myself, and- “
“You fend for yourself better than most of New York, Peggy.”
“And don’t you forget it!”
The apartment building came into view, and much to your surprise (and disappointment), Bucky was heading out of the door instead of inside this time.
It was pretty clear that he was on his way to the university, since he had a briefcase and a laptop bag with him. He was wearing a jacket over a button-down shirt, and had left the top two buttons undone.
Yeah, okay, he looked really, really good.
Peggy noticed, too, and she set her mouth in a firm line as she tried to formulate yet another plan.
“Bucky! Hello there, darling. Where are you off to?”
Bucky nodded at you before smiling at Peggy. “I’ve got office hours on campus for students that need extra tutoring. I’m actually running a bit late, but-“
“No, that’s fine,” Peggy interrupted, waving her hand. “Young people these days, they desperately need to be taught a few things, wouldn’t you agree, Y/N?”
You sighed, knowing that she was just trying to get Bucky to pay attention to you before he left. “Yes, Peggy. They know absolutely nothing about anything.”
Bucky’s laugh chimed in your ears, and you couldn’t stop your own smile from forming. You noticed for the first time that his eyes had these lines that crinkled when he laughed or smiled, and it made him look that much more ruggedly handsome.
Your stomach did a little flip, joining the list of traitors alongside your brain.
Peggy looked absolutely thrilled. “Bucky, when you’re done explaining the ways of the world, perhaps you can stop by my apartment? Y/N has set up the Netflix on my television so that we could watch a movie or two.”
“That sounds great. I’ll be back around nine.”
“Perfect. We’ll have some popcorn waiting for you.”
Bucky waved to you both, and when his figure disappeared around the corner, you made a face at your friend. “We both know you’ll be asleep by then, Peggy.”
“But you won’t, will you, dove? That suits me just fine,” she replied, eyes sparkling, as she pulled your arm to go up the short step to the doorway. “Let’s go see what kind of romance movie we can set up for tonight on the Netflix.”
Just as promised, Bucky knocked on the apartment door promptly at nine, and about a half-hour after Peggy excused herself to the bedroom.
“Sorry, she just went to bed,” you fibbed, wincing at him.
“Well, I have Netflix, too,” Bucky said, shifting on his feet. “Or actual DVDs, if you, ya know…still wanted to watch something…at my place?”
Oh.
OH!
“Sure.” You nodded, trying not to seem too eager. “It’s probably better if we don’t stay here, we might disturb her sleep.”
“Exactly,” he agreed, rubbing the back of his neck. “So…”
You grabbed your bag from the corner of the couch and turned back to him. “Turns out she didn’t have any popcorn. Her doctor won’t let her eat it.”
“That’s all right. I’ve got plenty.” Bucky gave you another charming smile.
That night, the two of you cuddled under the same blanket, and while you didn’t watch a romance, you were pretty sure by the way he kept sneaking glances at you that it didn’t much matter what was on the screen.
---
Peggy’s health took a turn for the worse unexpectedly, not long after movie night at Bucky’s apartment.
She wasn’t able to get around on her own anymore, nor was she left unsupervised at home. The doctor deemed her to be not only a danger to herself, but a flight risk, as Alzheimer’s patients had a tendency to wander.
Instead she was placed in hospice care with twenty-four hour access to medical professionals.
Apparently you were one of her emergency contacts, because the facility called you the minute she was signed in during the wee hours of the morning.
You took that Friday off from work and headed back to Brooklyn to the facility that she had personally selected when she was still able. Peggy knew that her Alzheimer’s would only get worse, and you were comforted to know that she had taken these steps for her own care.
Still, you weren’t looking forward to this visit. Peggy was alone, with no kids and no local family to speak of. Her husband, Steve, had died in the war. You were all she had, really, besides her friends, but they couldn’t very well look after her when they had their own families and problems. No, it was up to you, and maybe Bucky.
Bucky…you should probably call him. What if he was in the middle of a class, and he saw your name calling him in the middle of the day? He might panic, for one. Who calls someone these days instead of texting? But you couldn’t really text this news, either. That would be cold-hearted for sure.
You decided not to disturb him, at least not yet. Not until you found out exactly what the prognosis was…how much time you had left with her.
The doctor was just setting Peggy’s chart outside the door when you arrived, but you weren’t sure what sort of authority you had to speak to her about Peggy’s condition, if any. Did emergency contacts automatically get that right, or…?
She took care of that notion for you. “Are you Y/N?”
You nodded cautiously, pressing your hands against your legs to keep them from trembling so hard.
“Ms. Carter has given me permission to speak to you about her condition. Is that all right?”
“Yes, h-how is she doing?”
The doctor clasped her hands together in front of her. “I’m afraid that she could pass at any moment. That’s the thing with Alzheimer’s, it’s just the catalyst for the bigger issues. She’s got a rather severe infection, and I’m afraid her respiratory system is taking the hit, as well as her kidneys. If they begin to fail…well, at this time, Y/N, I would suggest making any calls you need to.”
“I- I see…” It felt like the walls were closing in on you, and you stood there trying to process what you just heard. “Thank you.”
The doctor patted your shoulder, her face full of sympathy. “If you need me or a nurse, just push the call button.”
Oh, god.
This was real, this was happening.
Tears flooded your eyes as you turned from the doctor and stepped into the room.
She was so small, so pale under the fluorescent lights and against the white sheets of her hospital bed. There were so many machines hooked up to her. You longed to see her smiling in her overstuffed armchair again.
“Y/N,” she called out, her voice tight with what sounded like a little bit of dehydration. “Is that you, dove?”
It took a few seconds for you to get control of your emotions. She didn’t need to see you this upset, because all she would do is fret over you and your feelings, and she not only needed to save her strength, but she needed to keep this about her.
“Hi, Peggy. How are ya feeling?” You walked over to the bedside and pulled the chair closer before sitting down and taking her hand in yours.
It was so cold that you placed your other hand on top just to try to warm her up a little.
“How am I feeling? Like I’m old,” she deadpanned. “Old and forgetful and sickly.”
“Well I’m glad to see you. It’s Friday, after all.”
“That it is.” Her cloudy eyes shifted around the room. “No Bucky?”
You shook your head. “I didn’t know if he was in class or not, so I was nervous to call him. I’m sure, though, that he would want to be here with you. Would you like me to call him?”
“Yes, dear, if you don’t mind. I’m not quite sure how much more I’ve got in me and I want to say goodbye.”
You frowned at that, pulling your hand away and digging your nails into your palms to stop from getting emotional again. “Bucky will get here, Peggy. Don’t you worry about it.”
“Thank you, dove. His number is on the wall.” Her eyes flitted to the wall behind your head.
You turned and saw a corkboard hanging beside the window. It was filled with get well cards, notations from the nursing staff, and pictures that she must have brought from home, mostly older pictures of her and a handsome blonde man. You assumed that was her late husband, Steve.
It also had her primary physician’s number, and below that, Bucky’s number was scrawled. Yours was there, too.
“I- I already have his number. I’ve had it for a while,” you admitted, standing up and reaching into your pocket for your phone.
“Really?” Peggy smiled wistfully. “I knew it.”
She looked really happy about that little revelation, but there wasn’t time for any of that right now. No, this was about her and her health, and making sure that she gets to say a proper goodbye.
“I’ll be right back, I’m going to see if I can get a hold of him.”
“Okay, dove.” She coughed so hard her whole body shuddered, but it only lasted a second, so you turned away.
The phone rang in your ear as you stepped out into the hallway. The two of you had become close, but you didn’t know his schedule. You silently prayed that you weren’t interrupting something, though you knew that Bucky would want to know either way. He’d never miss this, ever.
“Hello, Y/N? Is everything all right?” Concern was evident in his voice; it wasn’t like you to call during work hours.
Unfortunately, there was no easy way to say what needed to be said.
“Bucky, I…I’m here at the hospice center with Peggy. She was brought in this morning and it doesn’t…” Your voice broke tearfully, but you pressed on. “She’s asking for you.”
There was a moment of silence on the line. When Bucky spoke next, you could tell he was stunned and upset. “Is she…?”
You could picture him on the phone, his face crumbling. You wished you had better news. You wanted everything to get better. None of this was right.
“She’s hanging on for now,” you said gently. “She’s waiting for you. Are you able to come see her?”
“Yes, I’ll leave right now. Y/N…how are you holding up?”
“I’m here, Bucky.” Tears pooled in your eyes, but you tried to blink them away. “I’m here, and she’s here, and she needs you here, too.” And so do I, you added silently.
“On my way.”
The call ended with nothing else needing to be said, and you shoved your phone back in your pocket, wandering back into the chilly room. Peggy’s eyes widened a little as you sat back down.
“Y/N, you’re here. Is it Friday? How nice of you to come and see me, even if it is in this old place.”
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” you told her as you reached for her hand again. “You know my Fridays just aren’t right without you.”
“I’m afraid that this might be my last Friday, dove.” She tucked her head further toward the pillow to get a better look at you. Her brown eyes were glassy. “Did you bring Bucky with you?”
You forced a smile to your face and took her hand again, even though all you wanted to do was cry. “Bucky’s gonna be here real soon, Peggy. Just hang on a while for us, okay?”
Bucky arrived about twenty minutes later, and the first thing he did was take you in his arms for a warm, comforting hug. When it was time to go back in her room, he wrapped his arm around you and let you lean on him for strength.
Margaret ‘Peggy’ Carter passed away peacefully in her sleep later that evening, with you and Bucky at her bedside.
---
Life without Peggy was strange, indeed.
It had been weeks without her, now, but you still found yourself looking up at her old stop each Friday. You had to catch yourself before you got off the train to go visit her a few times, too.
About two weeks ago, Peggy’s lawyer had contacted you and sat you in a room with Bucky to listen to the reading of her will, which she had altered about two weeks after you met on the L train. She bequeathed to you a rather large sum of money with a reminder to live your life while you were young. She gave Bucky her apartment and everything in it, though he immediately said he wanted to sell the place, that he couldn’t possibly live there.
Bucky wasn’t cold at the meeting with the lawyer, to you or anyone else. He was just in business mode. It was exactly how you felt; numb and going through the motions. There was a small distance between you now.
That meeting was the last time you saw him.
It was…weird now, between the two of you. It wasn’t like the distance was intentional, or at least, it didn’t feel that way. There was a natural mourning period, and the two of you dealt with your feelings the way you knew best: alone.
Bucky hadn’t tried to call, not that you blamed him.
You hadn’t exactly picked up the phone, either…no texts, no anything. These past few weeks were still too emotional for you, and quite frankly, the sight of him instantly made you think of her.
Speaking of, where did that leave you both?
Would it be weird to pick up where you left off? Was it even possible, or had too much transpired, had things changed in such a way that you no longer had any reason to be in each other’s lives? Were you more than friends, or just friends? Were you friends on your own right, or only through Peggy?
You felt really stupid and selfish, too, to be worrying about the state of your friendship, relationship, whatevership with Bucky so soon after Peggy’s passing. It was really absurd to be wondering these things when the woman you both cared about was gone.
The guilt was eating away at you slowly, though you knew what she would have done.
Peggy Carter would have rolled her eyes at you for overthinking it, that’s what she would have done.
She would have told you to hurry up and get on with it already, that you weren’t getting any younger, and that you both needed each other more than either was willing to admit. She’d tell you that you were being stupid and irrational, and that Bucky was handsome and single and right there.
All you needed to do was reach out to him. All he needed to do was reach out to you, though, and he hadn’t.
How the hell had one little ride on the New York City subway system land you in this situation? Now you couldn’t imagine your life any differently. You couldn’t imagine a Peggy-less start to your time here.
The thought of her admonishing you for not just ‘getting on with it’ made you smile for the first time in weeks. Peggy Carter may have only been in your life a short while, but she changed you for the better. Her life lessons, stories, and her memory would stay with you for the rest of your life.
So you did what you had to: you carried on. If Bucky were to come back in your life now, you’d welcome him with open arms, but that was for him to decide. You weren’t one to push, and you certainly didn’t want to make a sad situation even worse by saying or doing the wrong thing.
Life went back to its dull, pre-Peggy normalcy.
Work continued, and your lack of social life continued, though your silly cat was happier than ever now that you were spending more time with him. And now, every Friday, you feel a little stronger on your own.
That particular Friday, about a month after the funeral, started out much the same as you’d become accustomed to. The usual L train stopped at the platform at Bedford Avenue. You had a little ways to go, so you scrolled through your playlists, trying to find the right one for the rest of your trip home.
You didn’t bother to look up as feet shuffled past, until a set of nice brown shoes stopped in front of you, their owner casting a long shadow over your phone screen.
Your eyes flickered up and met the familiar, gorgeous blue eyes of Bucky Barnes. He had his fancier professor clothes on, and a laptop bag slung over one shoulder.
The smile on his face gave you a new feeling, like coming home after a long trip away.
“Bucky!” You ripped your earbuds out, offering him a smile. “It’s so good to see you. I didn’t know you took this line?”
“I don’t, usually, no need since I work in Brooklyn, but…” He cleared his throat. “It’s Friday.”
A wave of emotion hit you as you realized he was referring to your time with Peggy. “That it is. I’ve been worried about you…wondering how you’re doing.”
The train doors closed behind him, and you knew the train was going to start moving again any second. What the heck was he doing?
“I’ve been worried about you, too,” Bucky continued. “In fact, you’re on my mind a lot these days. So I decided to give this a try. Maybe I can make it a part of my routine, too.”
“Oh…okay? Well you got on at the stop closest to your apartment, so we can get off on the next stop and walk back to it?”
“No, I was thinking, maybe we could go to your place this time?”
He seemed a little awkward, but he pressed on, his mouth opening and closing a couple times. Bucky wasn’t shy, so you were wondering what he was getting at.
You waited for him to finish his thought. He wanted to come to your apartment? Could this really be happening? You felt your heart racing as you kept your eyes locked on his.
The train shifted into motion, and before he could lose his balance, Bucky grabbed a hand rail. He shifted, his face bearing a look of determination that you’d never seen on him before.
“Bucky? Are you okay?”
“What I’m trying to say, not as eloquently as I imagined it in my head…” He ran a hand down his face, shifting the laptop bag further up his shoulder.
Finally, he grinned at you, gesturing to the place beside you.
“Is this seat taken?”
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