Broadway's Finest "Foe-lies" - Number 19
Welcome to Broadway’s Finest “Foe-lies”: a tribute to some of the best villain songs from the world of musical theatre! (No Disney songs allowed; already did two lists for those.) All throughout October, I’m ranking up my Top 31 Favorite Villain Songs from Broadway, the West End, and Beyond!
TODAY’S LYRICAL HINT: “Who was Bluebeard? NOBODY! Who was Nero? NOBODY! Who was Jack the Ripper? NOBODY!”
NUMBER 19 IS: Hook’s Waltz, from Peter Pan.
Our next option is a somewhat underrated villain song, in my opinion, but it’s one that’s very close to my heart. There have been MULTIPLE musical interpretations of Peter Pan, both onscreen and onstage. In the world of theatre, I know of at least four…five, in fact, if you count “Finding Neverland: The Musical.” (On that note, I would like to give a quick shout-out to the song “Live By the Hook” from that show. It almost made this countdown, but for a few reasons I decided against it.) By far the most popular, and my personal favorite, is the one composed by Moose Charlap and Jule Styne, which first premiered in 1954. It was actually one of the first versions of Peter Pan I ever saw, if not the first: my maternal grandparents used to have the 1960 telecast of the original Broadway production (which is where the image here comes from) on VHS, and I watched it almost every time I went to visit them, I think, as a kid. It was one of three things they had on video - the others being Disney’s Snow White and a collection of direct-to-video Mother Goose Nursery Rhyme videos - that I think I just couldn’t get enough of as a little thumb-sucking tot.
In the Charlap-Styne musical, Captain Hook - that brazen Pirate King of Neverland - has multiple villain songs; at least three, sometimes four or even five, depending on the production. This is actually given a purpose in the play - sort of - as Hook is depicted as being an avid fan of various forms of music in the show, and calls on his crew to play him tunes to think to when he plots and schemes. The first big number is “Hook’s Tango,” as Hook plots to use a poisoned cake to destroy the Lost Boys. Later, he sings “Hook’s Tarentella,” as he changes his plan when this scheme fails, and decides he’s going to work out a new plot to kidnap Wendy and the Boys. The third and final big, key number for Hook in the show is also my favorite: “Hook’s Waltz.” Instead of plotting and scheming this time, however, the song is sung in wild jubilation. Hook has succeeded in kidnapping Wendy, her brothers, and all the Lost Boys, and he and his pirates have scared off the Natives. On top of that, Hook believes he’s managed to kill Peter himself, his worthy nemesis. In his mind, he’s finally achieved everything he ever really wanted: revenge and victory are not only within reach, they are HIS. And if Hook loves cooking up crooked plans to the tunes of tangos and tarentellas, then there’s only one way to celebrate his triumph: a final, self-aggrandizing song set to a waltz-like melody. While other songs for Hook come and go throughout different productions, these three are constants. Seeing Hook’s musical evolution over the show, told through different forms of ballroom music, is such a bizarre yet fun idea for a musical interpretation of the story, and it helps to ensure that, however menacing Hook may or may not be portrayed by any given actor, he never becomes TOO serious a foe. And of all three of these big numbers, it’s the one I feel is the hardest to mess up: I’ve simply never seen any professional production or major performer do it badly. Cyril Ritchard, Paul Schoeffler, Tom Hewitt, George Rose…heck, even Christopher Walken, who I’d be hard pressed to call my favorite Captain Hook by any stretch of things, I think genuinely did a decent job with this particular song. It’s not one that’s likely to be referenced by a lot of other people, but it’s definitely one I cherish.
One quick bit of random trivia for you all: J.K. Simmons, of all people, once played Captain Hook in this same musical. I’ve never been able to find audio or video of him in the role, but I would KILL to hear him doing this song. Though I would insist that, halfway through, he interrupt things with this line: “SMEE! FETCH THAT LAZY FIRST MATE OF MINE, PARKER! I NEED THOSE PICTURES OF SPIDER-PAN!”
Tomorrow, the countdown continues with Number 18!
LYRICAL HINT: “The rack was in fashion! The plagues were my passion! Each day held a new joy in store!”
