STORY, CONTEXT AND EXPLANATION BELOW!
you’re an average guy aboard the S.S. Mammal. you’re in the boat dining hall. it’s lunch time again, and you’re being presented with the same old browned slop that Cook seems to dish out when he’s in a bad mood. you’re so fucking bored of this meal. you sit down next to your mate Beef2 who side eyes you, only to quickly forget about your presence to shovel mealpaste down his sawtooth beak.
you look down into the meatpile to try and get yourself excited about eating it. laces of shrimpwhiskers and beady prawn eyes boil and bubble and twitch around and the surface is adorned with an occasional humble black bristly hair.
“you know what,” you thought to yourself. “even though the food’s the same old stuff we’ve been eatin for months, it still looks yummy as always. Good ole cook, am i right??!”
you’re about to dig in- then you hear a bottle smash and tremulous tinny clanging from across the dining hall, near the canteen line. the hall goes quiet.
a short, square-ish pink dolphin stands next to a splat of foodslop seeping through the floorboards, and a broken bottle of booze rolling about in its mess. a beefy looking porpoise behind the dolphin is quivering with rage.
“YOU STUPID PINKIE!!!! you’re holdin’ up the entire boat. and we’re FUCKIN’ hungry. you’re always fumblin’ about, it’s always you, i’ve seen ya before. What’s yer name???”
“my name’s eddie. sorry i just can’t help it. i’ve been feelin weak and light headded for a while, i drop stuff an-”
“you’re not grateful at all. we all work day an night to put food on the table for ya, and you just spread it all on the boards like it’s sealshit. time after time. you’re causin us all to get weaker an frail. yer an anchor on us all, pal,” the beef says and then spits, his blubber twitching, and his eyes wide and round like shiny black buttons. his gaze was locked on to the dolphin.
eddie doesn’t respond immediately. he swoops at a beerbottle by the canteen and fills himself up, staring straight up at the beefy portpoise looming over him. his face gets redder and his eyes get angrier. “i said i can’t help that!!!!!! i do my bit too you know, working on this ship.. i’ll have you know i killed all the shrimp for this meal, you should be thanking me you know!!!! I don’t ask for anything, i just want to eat!!!” eddie starts piping up, grabbing another two bottles from the canteen and getting them down. the beef follows suit. “you know i’m basically holding up this entire crew. you should all love me, and i don’t understand why you treat me like fucking shit. i drop a tray, who fucking cares!!!!! go ask Cook, he wouldn’t give a single fuck you know, because he’s NICE!!!! IF YOU ALL LOOOOVE COOK SO BAD WHY DON’T YOU FUCKING ACT LIKE HIM, look at you all!!!!! blundering half-baked bruisers only living to kill. Cook's a GENTLEMAN, unlike you witless delinquents. HE RESPECTS ME, AND HE’D JOIN ME IN BEATING YOU UP, like RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!”
“Oh yeah, you stack of invertebrate blubber, let’s fucking go.”
*rolls up sleeves and battle music starts*
happens while he’s still with his old cetacean crewmates (before he ends up at Tawlypool), which is what i’m planning to be chapter 2 of the great electromagnetic.
the tune’s made on jummbox! it’s a modded version of beepbox, which is an online music maker tool. seriously guys try it out it’s so fun and just keep making stuff.. YOU WILL END UP WITH SOMETING COOL EVENTUALLY think of the room full of monkeys typewriter scenario (you know what i mean)
LMAO i didn’t expect to write this right now but here it is... this is literally such a procrastination move you guys need to know i have a social policy exam in 3 days
