With regards to Arthur... Ringo was like that with me for years. Very indifferent. Moved away when I tried to show him affection. Never nuzzled me, nickered, or showed affection towards me. Never followed me or came over to visit. The rare exception was sometimes while I held his dinner or treats. That's when he'd acknowledge me. It took YEARS for me to win him over. He's still super indifferent to people and moves away from hugs/kisses or JUST tolerates them.
I did a lot of bonding work with Ringo to get there, in addition to just the sheer amount of riding and time spent with him (I've had him over 10 years now - he only began showing affection towards me in the last couple years... the asshole haha. It was only 3 years ago he first trotted when following me. I was ecstatic). Anyways, don't beat yourself up over it. Some horses are just anti-social and not super into being loved. Ringo will never be a cuddly horse. Maybe that's just Arthur too.
Another thing to consider is there might be pain or a hidden health issue. Ulcers, back pain, saddle or tack fit, or chiropractic issues, maybe? But regardless, I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with this. It's so hard to feel like these animals hate us or don't care for us or whatever when we love them and put so much time, effort, money, care, etc into them. <3
oh - and ringo used to HATE being brushed. HATED it. didn't matter what you used. never sure when or how that changed but it did so?? who knows with horses. :/
re: pain, since I just re-read and saw he was on bute. Now, I have no idea what you've tested for or done with regards to talking to your vet/farrier/care team, so here's my unsolicited advice: get him off bute, then get the vet out to check for lameness and ulcers. If you have a chiropractor you trust, get them out too. Also have the farrier look at his feet for any potential causes of discomfort. Discuss his behaviour with all of them, especially the vet.
Prevecox is an affordable and way better option than bute for pain. It has less side effects as bute causes (or can cause) stomach issues after using it for a few days, particularly if you're giving higher doses. Plus it's easy to feed and you don't need that much to make a difference (literally, quarters or half of pills). But since he's in pain, finding the source will likely solve your behavioural issues.
Ja see the indifference was shitty enough but now it’s moved on from that to just outright nasty and it really feels shit when you feel like your partner hates you lol :(
So the reason he is on bute is because the way to treat a sacroiliac injury is to strengthen the correct muscles around it, but he can’t use them while they are in pain/won’t use them correctly. So removing the pain means he can build the muscle which will reduce the strain he’s putting on the joint bc he has the muscle to do it correctly. There’s no lameness, and we did a stomach scoping when i took him to the first vet mid november. we couldn’t get to the bottom of the tummy where most ulcers normally are, but there was literally nothing on the top bit and the vet said he had a very lovely stomach lmfao. BUT i totally forgot about bute increasing ulcers which someone else’s ask reminded me of so will probably chuck him on a course of oma-guard after christmas. I have had both my physio and vet out to see him and we have him on a rehab program at the moment, and the saddlefitter isn’t coming until January bc Christmas break, he just had a trim two days ago where the trimmer and i discussed everything, so ja i am attempting to cover all of my bases which is why it’s so frustrating that i’m not getting through to him. (also which is why i get annoyed at other people on here who come on and assume i just think my horse is being a dick for no reason and am not doing anything about it when rly they should take a look at my fucking bank balance after all of the treatments he’s getting but #whatever)
This is his last day of bute (tho tbh if he’s still acting like this, I feel like he still associates it with pain so maybe he needs more, I might email the vet) but if he does need to go back on pain relief i will discuss the prevecox with the vet!