I don't pass as any gender. People can't even decide what direction I'm trans. If I grow out my hair I'm ma'am until they see my beard. If I cut my hair then I'm sir. Or ma'am. Or sir. If I shave my face or body they assume I'm a trans woman. If I wear a mask but they hear my voice they call me ma'am first then switch to sir in a panic when they decide I'm a trans man. People have seen me naked, my genitals, and asked me about my experience with a bottom surgery I've never actually had. Depending how I dress on any given day I'm either a dyke or a fag to the bigot driving past but it's always one or the other (derogatory). The one consistent thing is I'm Queer.
I can tell you that as a result of this I've been followed into a public restroom and cornered. It's usually not that bad, but it's happened, but I get stares no matter which restroom I try to use. I've had health professionals ask me why my med records say I'm on hormones because they assumed my AGAB to match those hormones; I've had another healthcare professional assault me for being trans. I'm intersex and non-binary. I can tell you by lived experience that I don't have the male privilege people who categorize me as a trans man often think I have. People like me get talked over in spaces dominated by cis folks and trans folks.
Please don't push intersex and non-binary people to the side of your conversations about gender. Don't assume that all intersex people are non-binary--there is no such thing as biologically non-binary and intersex people don't owe it to anyone to fit into a narrative about their identity. What we do share is that by default of not fitting within a binary, we are both pushed out of spaces and left out of conversations that affect us.
