🎥Starring: Wen Junhui (Seventeen) x reader.
🎥Genre: Comedy. Suggestive (18+). Strangers to lovers.
🎥Length: 1k
🎥Warnings: Multiple sexual references. Misunderstanding but make it intentional because it’s Wen Junhui. One day I will write him as a serious person, today is not that day, my friends.
🎥Plot:
Picture this... You meet a handsome man at a bar, make out with said handsome man at said bar and then go home with him when he asks “You wanna see my wiener?” Turns out, that doesn’t mean what you think it does.
Minors do NOT interact. I WILL block any account that interacts without an age indicator in their bio, or for any of the reasons listed in this post, including blank blogs and blogs without any fics reblogged.
Set The Scene Masterlist - My Masterlist
A/N- I don’t even know what to say about this other than it’s @junkissed's fault.
This really is not what you had in mind when you followed the handsome man home from the bar, both dressed to seduce and lips already kiss bruised from when he pinned you against the edge of the bar and succeeded in knocking someone’s cocktail over both of you.
Now you’re in his apartment and sticky, but not in the way you want to be, and staring dumbly at the man as he rolls on the floor with his dog, who is jumping all over him, beyond excited to see his human.
Admittedly, it’s fucking adorable, but not what you thought was going to happen.
Arousal lingers under your skin from the way he had shoved a thigh between your own and grabbed your ass while his tongue slid against your own less than ten minutes ago. Though the lust in your veins is starting to deplete seeing the man let his dog slobber all over his face as they wriggle together.
You never thought you’d be jealous of a dog, but you had truly believed that you would be the one licking over his man and bouncing on top of him.
“Come, come!” He encourages and you bite back a grumble retorting that you thought you were going to, but apparently, he wants you to meet his dog, not his trouser snake.
Obligingly, because it is a cute dog, you move over and kneel at this side. You’re surprised that the animal immediately abandons his human to rush over and try to clamber all over you while attempting to lick your face. You tilt your head away slightly, so the dog doesn’t nail you in the mouth, but you give all the affection and love the little cutie deserves. Even if he’s a cockblock of the highest order.
“Oh, Kitty really likes you,” Junhui comments in awe as he sits up, round eyes stuck to you and his animal companion.
You look at the man dumbstruck. “You named your dog Kitty?” You baulk.
“Yeah.”
“What the fuck?” You whisper and suddenly wonder if you made a mistake in assuming this beautiful man to be a fully functioning human and not some kind of ethereal otherworldly being with no concept of human normality.
“Originally, I wanted to get a cat, and my friends knew so they kept asking ‘you got your kitty yet?’” he imitates his friends in a voice that you’re pretty sure is far too mocking to be accurate, but it makes his voice rougher and lower so you’re already thinking of things to ask about his friends in hopes he’ll keep mocking them. “And when I got Kitty, I couldn’t think of a name and my friends still didn’t know I got a dog, so they kept saying ‘when are we going to meet kitty?’ And so, it became his name.”
“Right, right, fascinating,” you mumble and pat Kitty a few more times before he bounces off to quench his thirst at his fancy little water fountain in the kitchen just out of your line of sight.
“So, do you wanna make out?” Junhui asks as he scoots along the laminate on his ass, very much like a dog, to get closer to you.
“You just made out with your dog.”
“Jealous?” He teases, comically wiggling his eyebrows and wagging his tongue in a way that, although is fucking ridiculous, he still looks unfairly attractive doing it. Damn him.
“Yes. Go brush your teeth and wash your face so I can have my turn,” you decide to be honest, and it pays off when Junhui’s face lights up with excitement before he jumps up and practically sprints down the short hallway.
Though he almost trips back into view a handful of moments later with his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth and toothpaste bubbling at his lips. “Gotta feed Kitty,” he garbles around foam and vibrating plastic as he rushes past you into the kitchen.
With nothing better to do, you lean against the counter to watch as Junhui plates up some food for his dog. It looks homemade and far better than your own meals, making you wonder if Junhui is accepting applications for a second pet. You could don some cat ears, a tail, and a little collar with a bell if it means you get home cooked meals on the daily. And get to sit on the man’s lap and lick his face.
Or maybe sit on his face, cats are known for that, right? That’d be great.
For now, you simply decide to bring up the words you’ve been wondering since stepping into his apartment after him. “When you asked me if I want to see your wiener, I didn’t think you meant a wiener dog.”
“Well, I didn’t know if you wanted to see my actual wiener! It’s a safeguard!” He defends and then makes a strange suctioning sound to prevent the toothpaste foam from dribbling everywhere.
You wonder if it says more about you or him that you’re still more than interested in defiling this man in ways that would make him write letters to your parents to thank them for birthing you in the first place. Which is probably very strange, but he seems like the type who would enthusiastically do so with glitter gel pens and stickers.
“Jun, you beautiful idiot, I was halfway to creaming myself on your thigh against the bar; I definitely want to see your wiener. And by that, I mean your penis.”
Junhui all but launches his still buzzing toothbrush into the kitchen sink, swallows the paste in his mouth and wipes his lower face on the back of his shirt sleeve all in the space of two seconds before practically materialising in front of you. “My penis would like to see you too.”
“Bedroom?”
Instead of answering, the man flings you over his shoulder and runs off down the hall with you safely in his grasp and a war cry leaving his lips.
🎥 Set The Scene taglist: @wonuilu, @choco-scoups, @whoisbaek15, @vixensss, @babycaratdeul, @whoa-jo, @ateez-atiny380, @codeinebelle, @iamawkwardandshy, @tokitosun, @sanaxo-o
Personal taglist: @okiedokrie, @tusswrites, @svtiddiess, @codeinebelle
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pairing; no pairing unless you count a love between park junhee and his strawberry yogurt
genre; crack/comedy
notes/warnings; none just nonsense
word count; 980 and some change
A loud sigh falls from Junhee’s lips as he closes the door and drops the bag from his shoulder, before pushing it away from the door with his foot. There was plenty of work to be done inside of that bag, but it could wait. He had other plans, and the first course of action was waiting inside of the fridge of his shared apartment.
Shoes off, hood up, Junhee trudged through the hall grumbling to himself, before finally making it to the note covered fridge and opening it to hopefully find his prize after such an exhausting day. Eyes scanning the shelves only finding banana yogurt, Jun’s brows furrowed in slight panic, before closing the door and checking the note he had left this morning stating, “Do not touch my yogurt!”
Clearly someone in the apartment had not listened. He had even underlined it and signed it. Junhee thought he was a reasonable person. He was willing to share things, including his food, but this day had been particularly shitty. He had made one simple request, and it had been ignored.
Sniffing hard as he shoved his hands into the pocket of his hoodie, Jun glanced around the kitchen, only to feel himself become more irritated when he realized his yogurt thief had the gall to leave the foil top on the counter. Inspecting it closer, Jun's eyes narrowed, before looking around as if someone were standing right next to him. The yogurt was still cold. This thief had just committed their crime.
Normally he would brush something like this off and forgive and forget, but knowing he could catch them literally red handed? The idea was just too satisfying. Taking off out of the room with purpose, Junhee checked the living room, finding it empty, before beginning to open doors one by one without knocking. “Donghun hyung!”
Startled, the older man looked up from his desk, pushing headphones off his head with a confused expression on his face, no yogurt to be seen. Junhee furrowed his brows and simply held up a hand apologetically, knowing he’d have to explain himself later, but for now there were more rooms to check.
Stopping in front of the next room, Jun considers this one and knocks twice, before pushing the door open as Sehyoon makes a sound of acknowledgement. Glancing around his room before looking at him, Junhee knew his friend wasn’t his thief before he finally met his eyes.
“Can I help you?”
Shaking his head and frowning deeply in thought, the younger man steps out backwards without a word, leaving Sehyoon confused as Jun shuts the door.
Eyes on the end of the hall, only two rooms left, Jun followed the sound of conversation and laughter, pushing a door open to find the two youngest roommates and his strawberry yogurt in the hand of Byeongkwan, who took a bite as he met his eyes. “The betrayal I feel at this moment…is so real.”
Sitting on his bed, Chan found himself unable to hold back a laugh, but he quickly rubbed his lips together as Jun glared at him, before holding up a hand as he tried to defend himself.
“Hyung...there is still banana yogurt in the fridge.”
Disgust fell over Junhee’s features as his eyes met Byeongkwan’s as he licked his lips, savoring the last strawberry yogurt. “Banana? Banana. Chan-ssi, there is banana yogurt in the fridge, did you know? I’m going to kill you, Byeongkwan!”
Among the commotion hearing Byeongkwan’s squeal, Sehyoon and Donghun had made their way out of their rooms and into the doorway of the now crime scene to find both Jun and Byeongkwan wearing more of the yogurt than what had been eaten, along with a very disturbed Chan wailing as he tried to clean yogurt off his bedding. “Why did this have to happen in my room?!”
With Byeonkwan’s head wrapped in his arms, Jun glanced around the room to meet an amused Donghun as he scratched the back of his neck, raising his brow. “There is plenty of strawberry yogurt in the fridge, Junhee. It’s just in the drawer, I bought some this morning. You’re killing him for literally just my entertainment.”
Time freezing as Jun carefully unwrapped his legs and arms from around the younger man, he cleared his throat and smoothed Byeongkwan’s hair with a slight nod as he furrowed his brows hearing his friend’s laugh at his reaction. “I may have overreacted…”
Byeongkwan finally able to move, slid from the bed and into the floor close to Sehyoon for some protection as he wiped yogurt off his face as he tried to catch his breath. “You think?”
The moment the words left his mouth he could feel the glare from his older roommates, making him sigh. “And I might owe you an apology too. I shouldn’t have taken the yogurt, even if there was more. I didn’t know there was any left, and I took it. I’m sorry, Hyung. I’ll buy the yogurt next time.”
Having been characteristically quiet, a smirk on his face, Sehyoon watched Chan pout and try to clean his bedding, before finally sighing. “It’s settled, now you two help Chan clean up this mess and apologize to him.”
Grumbling Byeongkwan and Jun nodded their apologies, before getting to work as the two oldest shook their heads and walked out of the room.
“Why did you put the yogurt out of sight?”
Donghun glanced over to Sehyoon at his words, before turning back into his room, a smirk on his lips as he tried not to laugh. He found himself unable to contain a shrug and a shake of his head as he turned the knob walking in backwards. “Just to see what would happen.”
Sehyoon signed and shook his own head with a laugh, thinking how boring his life was before he met his roommates.
