Always been you
☆ : pairing best friend!junghwan x gn!reader word count 1.2k genre angst , best friends to lovers , non-idol au, fluff at the very end warnings not proofread , uses y/n, junghwan is kind of mean to reader in the beginning, tons of miscommunication/misunderstandings notes this is my first time writing angsty stuff like this so forgive me if it's not the best; req'd
“Hey Hwan, can we talk?” you say as you lightly grab your best friend of several year's wrist to stop him from going up the stairs to class.
“Oh, so now you want to talk?” He coughs out coldly.
“What?” you try your best to control your expression but you can’t help the hurt that briefly flashes in your eyes.
“Are you sure you’re not too busy with your guitar lessons with Jeongwoo? I don’t know, you two seemed really close. Maybe you should go talk to him.” he chides, yanking his wrist out of your grasp. At first, confusion and hurt clouds your mind, making it impossible for you to think about what could’ve made him act like this and then you remember.
“Junghwan… I-” you start to say but Junghwan cuts your explanation short, not wanting to hear about your lessons with Jeongwoo. It was painful enough for him to witness it but for you to tell him about it yourself, he thinks his heart would break in two.
“Forget it. I have to go to class and you should too.” he whispers low enough for you to barely hear him and then he’s gone up the stairs. In your 7 years of being best friends, he’s never acted so cold and distant towards you and now that he has, you never want it to happen again. His few words cut like ice, making you wonder if you did something wrong or if you would ever get a chance to explain yourself.
As the number of weeks since your encounter increases, so does the number of days it’s been since Junghwan last spoke to you. Having been friends for so long, you’ve never gone more than 3 days without talking to him so these weeks have felt like a lifetime of torture. Little do you know, it’s been torture for Junghwan as well. He had finally worked up the courage to tell you how he feels and then he sees you laughing and cuddling up to Jeongwoo? Everyone had convinced him that you liked him back and didn’t just view him as a friend but suddenly, all those words of encouragement turned into lies. How could you view him as more than just a friend if you liked Jeongwoo? He knew he had to get over you and the only way for him to do that was to avoid you at all costs. If he saw your beaming smile or heard the laugh that was music to his ears, he wouldn’t be able to let you go. So he tried his best but all he ended up doing was hurting you and himself in the end.
my y/niee~ ❤️🩹 can we talk? Read 5:56 pm please? Read 5:56 pm just meet me at our spot on the playground where we first met Read 5:57 pm
hwaniee~ 💟🐶 ok. Read 5:58 pm
When Junghwan sees you, his heart sinks. You have the hood of (his) sweatshirt that you’re wearing pulled over your head to hide your face but he can still see the redness of your cheeks and how your eyes are puffy from crying. All he wants to do is pull you into a hug and apologize but he can’t because if he does, he’ll fall right back into the routine of loving you.
Feeling someone approach you, you look up from your seat on the floor of the playground where you and Junghwan first met all those years ago.
“Junghwan?” you ask into the darkness, only seeing a figure that shares a familiar outline with your best friend. The figure steps into the light from the streetlamps surrounding the playground, revealing themself to be your best friend who is also in the same disheveled state as you.
“Yeah, it’s me. Don’t worry.” His voice cracks a little as it tries to hold back all of the different emotions he feels. You gesture for him and he walks over to take a seat next to you. Once he sits down, both of you start to speak at the same time.
“You go first.” He says, motioning for you to continue what you were about to say.
“No, it’s okay. You can go first.” You whisper awkwardly before you squeak out a small laugh.
“What? Why are you laughing?” He questions but still starts to laugh along with you.
“It's nothing... We’ve just never been this awkward before. It’s kind of funny.” You say as you burst into a full on laugh that’s immediately followed by the sound of Junghwan’s. Once the laughter dies down, you know you have to explain yourself before the tears start to fall again.
“Junghwan… I-”
He cuts you off again, but this time, there’s no anger behind it, only remorse. “No, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself.”
“But I do!” You exclaim, turning away from him to hide your face. “I can’t let you think something that’s not true! When you saw me and Jeongwoo together, he was teaching me the guitar. That part’s true, but it wasn’t because I wanted to get closer to him. We were together because I asked him to help me learn a song on the guitar, a song that was supposed to be a surprise for your birthday. Jeongwoo is only a friend who was helping another friend in need.” You turn back to look at him and see his eyes, full of regret. “The idea that you think I like someone else is tearing me up inside because you’re the one I like, Junghwan. It’s always been you.” You cry out, face full of tears.
“Oh, Y/n. I am so sorry for making you upset. I saw you two laughing together and the thought that maybe you didn’t like me filled my mind.” He sighs and runs his hands through his long, brown hair. “I had finally worked up the courage to tell you how I felt after like 7 years and then I saw you with Jeongwoo and my whole world came crashing down. I avoided you because I knew that in order for me to be happy, I would have to let you go. I am so sorry, Y/N… for everything. For making you cry and for making you think anything other than the truth, which is that I really, really like you. It’s always been you. From day one until now. I’ve never stopped.” he says, wrapping you in a hug. “Are you cold?” he asks, pulling away slightly to look at your face.
Through chattering teeth, you admit, “Just a little bit.” Junghwan laughs but still takes off his coat and places it on your shoulders to protect you from the cold. He offers you a hand to help you up from the floor and never lets go. Not on your walk home, not once you both entered your house and sat on the couch, and not for the rest of the night. You were finally together and he had absolutely no plans to leave.