#junior life

[findingsofafangirl]

I’ve realized that the Tumblr mobile app might not be crap

it might just be burnt out like the rest of us

[satans47thsidehoe]

Guys i’m really bouta start EMT training my senior year i’m HYPED. they best NEVER find this page. also update i have had the most pretty slightly very feminine boyfriend ever for 9 months and i’m now comfortable saying that i’m pan because i feel like it fits me more and this is all for my life updates that literally nobody reads

[taylor-likes-to-kill-us]

I have so much work

[wanderinginthemiddle]

That moment of pure panic when you realize you have to start thinking about college and you realize you’ve done nothing with your life and omg no college is going to accept me and i’m not going to get into college which means i’m not going to have a job which means i have no money which means i have no house which means i’m going to turn into a hobo. Omg stressss

[r-andm-s]

I don’t know whether to be cold and bitchy and not be the one who talks to you first and not talk to you unless you talk first OR be the friendly, wearing-her-heart-on-her-sleeve kind of girl who insists on talking to you first and randomly asks if you did this certain homework and tweet to each other constantly and stuff like that. I don’t know anymore what to feel or what to even talk about or should i even come say hi because i have had some past issues when i used to be so, so, so friendly and approaching to people when they only ended up leaving me. It’s just…idk man i used to entertain people in my life but now i don’t feel like doing it. I feel like, every time i let a person come in there’s this voice inside me that whispers “they’ll end up leaving you, too” so ever since then i’ve been afraid of being always the who gets to be left alone. I just wanna say I’M SORRY if you think i’m being “too salty” on you. If i’m ever “rude” or being a “shitty person” trust me i’m way more than just those. I just don’t like trusting people now. I’m sorry; you don’t deserve this.

A

[the-true-mogno-overlord]

I used to get so embarrassed when seeing a teacher outside of school. Now it's like:

Me: Hey, Kelly. You wanna go get some McD's after this detention?

[r-andm-s]

Dearest John, (let’s keep it that way; i wouldn’t want others knowing your first name, it’s so rare they might find you and tell you about this, so please bear with me)

Tomorrow’s gonna be your recollection; i badly want to say to you how fun it will be; how eye-opening this year’s recollection will be compared to the previous years’.

Right now you’re probably packing your things and hoping tomorrow will be the best. I guarantee you it will be. Or perhaps at this very moment you’re playing with your guitar singing Eheads songs (because i know you’re a big fan) and worrying about the long roadtrip and the refusing of the vomiting and the dizziness in the midst of the trip and shit. But whatever it is you’re doing, i hope first you’re doing fine.

You know, i couldn’t gather up all my bravery and guts to write you an ACTUAL (anonymous) reco letter. People mostly know me as a tough girl who would kick everyone going in my way but when it comes to you, i’m nothing but a weak cat. I couldn’t even bear the stupid idea of me, sending you a letter. It completely doesn’t seem right. To me. I know you don’t (and won’t) give a shit but to me it feels kinda strange. I’ve given it a few thoughts ‘cause some of my friends won’t shut up and won’t stop bugging and nagging me about writing you one. I’ve also thought about your different reactions if you ever got one from me. So far the conclusions i’ve made in my head are pretty embarrassing. Tell me to never do it again. I wouldn’t want to annoy you; and at the same time i don’t want to look SO desperate. Thinking that i’m a girl, it’s not a good look from other’s perspective. Even i don’t like the idea of it. God, i am so sorry. Believe me, i am. I know you deserve my word—you deserve all my words, in fact—but i love you enough to tell everything to you only in a paper scribbled only with a pen; i want to tell it to you with my own mouth and voice and when i say it, i want my eyes to be looking at yours.

But you like another girl. God, it hurts like hell what the fuck. Okay, maybe you don’t. Perhaps it’s just a friend or whatever. But the fact that i saw you with her? A COUPLE OF TIMES???? Uhm???? OKAY, OKAY. I GOT NO SINGLE RIGHT TO GET JEALOUS but the only thing i’m mad about is YOU picking the WRONG GIRL. You could’ve chosen a more decent person but you chose someone who doesn’t even bother me competing with because i know in our personalities and brains, I’VE ALREADY WON. She a whore. She a bitch. Sorry for the word and the swearing but YOU DESERVE MORE THAN JUST HER SKINNY, SKINNY BONY ASS AND SHITTY PERSONALITY. You deserve someone who has an ass (literally and figuratively) and who has the same mind as you. Bruh, the girl can’t even write a single English sentence without a fucked-up grammar. C'mon, John, you aren’t like that. YOU AREN’T LIKE HER. You. Deserve. B E T T E R for christ’s sake. I’m sorry FOR YOU. For being with her. Please don’t fall for her. Fall for someone i would be happy you fell for. I don’t have a right to dictate you, sure, but hun, DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU.

I love you and I don’t want you to get your heart broken ((by a person who isn’t even worth it))

[r-andm-s]

almost 1 week of not seeing your face

The last time i saw you was the day we took our NCAE. And that day i only saw you twice. First, before you went inside your designated room and before i/we went upstairs for there are where our classrooms are located. Second time i saw you, it was already dismissal time and i was with my friends after the dreadfully exams we just took. Sighs of relief were everywhere. So, then, we are already outside, having a minimal foodtrip just around the corner. My friends were buying various street food and eating and just doing little chats while i decided to look for you. I was so desperate of seeing your face. I was missing you that time SO badly. I can still remember how it felt. The whole exam hours were SO DEPRESSING. I couldn’t see your face so the whole time i was just feeling so annoyed and bored at the same time. So, as i have said, i was looking for you and then, finally, i see one of your friends walking towards our direction. And then as you were all getting closer, i saw another friend, and then, at last, YOU. I knew it, i told myself. I knew you were there. But, god, i know am not a fucking psychic; abundant overwhelm-ness invaded me simply because you were there when i hoped you to be. I mean, up to now, honestly speaking, i still don’t know if it was a coincidence or not. But can you imagine? Of all times you could walk home with your friends and appear, why that moment? You could have probably chosen to walk home late, but you haven’t. You could’ve forgotten something and called your friends to wait, but then again you haven’t. You could have made plans with your friends that you’d visit another friend that lived in the opposite direction from where we are that time, but—damn, look who’s lucky—you haven’t. Don’t you think it’s fate? Well, ok, that was terribly cheesy and corny and kinda annoying and stupid of me to ask a guy like you that question so never mind. I know i’m yet to find out.

So, the next day, the day after we took NCAE, you were absent. It felt like i had no sense of going to school that day. Everything was so lifeless. Every break feels 10x longer. Everytime we were outside having recess or lunch, the whole campus looked as though everything was in black & white. One minute i’m fixing my hair for you then three seconds later i’ll realize you aren’t here today to see that and suddenly everything comes crashing down. :-) to :’-( real quick.

Then, friday, yesterday, it was our recollection. We went all the way from Manila to Antipolo. Whole day. So it was another 24 hours of not seeing your angelic face. I will not deny; the whole time we were at Antipolo i was still thinking of you. I was still talking about you, non-stop, over and over. Like i do in Manila. I guess that’s when you know it’s real; you could be up in the mountains and they’re still the one you’re thinking of. You could be in a place full of trees and plants and grass and flowers and they’re still there, in your head. You could be in a fine, beautiful, stunning place, but deep within you, you know that no such beautiful and worth going back for places could ever compare to the person you’re thinking of. Then i guess it’s real.

Unfortunately, there’s gonna be a long weekend ahead, so it would be another 72 long hours of longing for you. Which basically sums up 1 week of not seeing you and your angelic, innocent face and your massive tall-ness. I can do this. I WILL do this for you. I’ll wait ‘till Tuesday comes.

God, you are so worth waiting for.