what comes out of you doesn’t make you sick

into the abyss of my own thoughts (2024 version)

[r-andm-s]

Etong putang inang

Krisis na to ang tatapos sa akin

Hindi alam ng mundo kung gaano ako

Kahirap na hirap sa tanginang paglisan mo

[r-andm-s]

Screw doing the right thing; what do I want to do?

[r-andm-s]

I don’t think I can ever forgive the world and the universe for being unfair to me when it comes to you and us.

[r-andm-s]

the world and the universe’s kinda unfair to me for that btw

[sunbon]

Yes it is and so it’s yours

[r-andm-s]

05 September 2024, 2:57 PM

There is no reason for me to stay anymore. There is no justification as to why I should stay any longer. I don’t see how it would do any of us good.

Staying for long would just hurt both sides, and that is and will never be my intention. It’s only gonna be counterproductive.

It has served its purpose, as I have too. Perhaps bittersweet for some, but this is where it ends. This is where I draw the line. And this is how I claim my freedom.

For someone very indecisive, I have made my decision. Nothing can change that anymore. You can’t sway me. Not your cheap jokes or silly attempts at half-meant persuasions. Not you. At least not anymore.

[remanence-of-love]

[r-andm-s]

if it truly is for me Lord then let me have it. it will shock and terrify me. but put it on my lap and let me deal with it. please

[r-andm-s]

basta. I am bound to be free. I can already see the sunlight peeking from the horizon.

this is to free me. to save me, and others; to push me away from the tracks while the running train is still minutes away. while it’s not yet too late. I know it.

I refuse to look at this as a lacking on my end, as a suffering earned, as a a missed opportunity, as an attempt miserably failed one too many times, as a great loss. I did not lose anything.

in fact, this way, I would NOT lose anything.

nothing at all.

[r-andm-s]

to be loved is to be seen :)

[neuronfairy-blog]

I believe you, you don’t have to prove yourself to me

[r-andm-s]

Habangbuhay ko ‘tong kakayanin.

[r-andm-s]

How's it going? I wonder, as I sit here in my room. Wide awake at 4:30am. I wonder if you ever are, too. Wherever you are.

Did you ever make it? I think hard to myself. Countless times a day.

Do you still miss me sometimes? I contemplate. No. I answer back. Quickly. Aggressively. I shouldn't even be delving in such foolishness. But what are the odds? The odds are as empty as this water glass beside me. Accompanying me in the wee hours of night. The odds are as clear as the day tomorrow. And tomorrow, the day will be.

Where in the world could you be right now? Right now. Why do I always envision you being fast asleep in a bed that's not yours? But in my head, you are theirs.

[r-andm-s]

I'm sorry that it's taken me this long. I understand it all better now.

Best.

Sorry that it was long overdue

Sorry that

my sorry was long overdue

Still, I say

and mean

with all my heart

and might

as I sit here in dim, warm light

melancholic tunes singing to me tonight,

as I think

ache

and long

for you,

that

I'm sorry that it's taken me this long.

[r-andm-s]

It’s times like these when I can’t help but think of you, and just how parallel your past situation looks like to the days I’ve been having.

And then I would go, “oh, that’s why.”

I get it now. I’m seeing things better.

I wouldn’t endure me either.

[r-andm-s]

missing you a little extra today. for some reason, this made me think of you, and of our good days together in the past. made me sad. really sad. and the rain is not helping at all.

thinking about you today.

[r-andm-s]

just someone to watch Past Lives with