#junkodachi

[evatriceakiyama]

The file name is “Junko cucks Adachi with Kira” and that’s literally all you need to know. Also Junko murders her boyfriend for fun at the end, damn, why is anyone ever surprised she does bad things. Also, Kira gets Adachi’s hands.

[evatriceakiyama]

Since I’ve managed to increase Junkodachi’s popularity, I figured I’d add more to the Junkodachi stuff.

For my Break Me, Shake Me MEP.

[evatriceakiyama]

So, Despair Family AU where Kira ran to Inaba and has lived there since the 90's, and since Junko has a lot of side flings, Adachi is stressed by it, and really dedicates himself to work as a salaryman (since it's after he's done time), and he tries to get closer to his colleague Yoshikage. He kinda stalks Kira one day and watches him kill some people and take a woman's hand and he rushes back home and is like "JUNKO I THINK I WANNA ALSO BONE MY CO-WORKER HE'S A PERSONA USER AND HE KILLS PEOPLE THAT'S HOT." And Junko is like "Then why don't you? I don't care, you can ask him if he's up for doing us both" and Adachi just exasperatedly goes "He only likes women, like, the type that Amagi-san is, not even bombshells like you". So they try to work a plan to fuck Kira without raising suspicion that they KNOW he kills people or he might kill them. Comedy ensues. Mukuro is stressed and wonders why her sister and brother-in-law have shit taste in guys, and definitely keeps Akaya, Monaca, and Sachiko out of this. There are random scenes like "We really did a good one in not getting involved" "Why does that guy look like David Bowie" "Who's David Bowie" "Now isn't the time, Monaca, Sachiko"

[evatriceakiyama]

A Very Despair Family Christmas

As I swore, this is the Despair Family Christmas fic Sean asked for. With random guests to add more fuel to the Despair fire. Merry Diomas, everyone!

Summary: The Family of Despair and everybody connected to it try to celebrate a Western holiday and it goes as wonderfully as one could expect from a serial killer, a war criminal, a deranged model, their three kids, the local Kaworu expy, a vengeful cat, and a meme of a vampire.

There were many things in life Tohru Adachi felt regret for. Souring his relationship with the Dojima family by way of being the cause of results that led to Nanako dying briefly as well as being kidnapped, being an immature asshole who felt like the world owes him everything, not really having any friends besides a kid who had to literally beat sense into him, sometimes being basically married to a murderous nymphomaniac model who tried to smother him in his sleep, not spoiling the one child he liked enough, not shooting that white-haired creep on sight the first time he met the guy, not letting his kids possibly become future serial killers by torturing that cat/witch that came around often, and of course, having what amounted to an in-law who could snap Adachi in half as easily as Sachiko could tear bread into pieces for ducks.

But what he really regretted was conceding to Monaca's constant begging/whining about celebrating Christmas like they lived in the West or something. Adachi wanted to have a break from his family and take Junko out on a Christmas Eve date as well as to celebrate her birthday. And the kids could celebrate their aunt Mukuro's birthday too if they wanted. But here he was, getting up late at night to go eat the cookies and milk his two daughters left while Mukuro dragged the kids' gifts to the tree they had decorated earlier in the evening. Junko had opted for beauty sleep and for what basically amounted to her two servants doing the hard work for her.

"I love your sister, but doing this crap while she gets to have credit for it and watch me Despair over it makes me want to strangle the girl with my two hands and then keep her hands to myself," he grumbled at the mercenary, who had on a red hat with a pompom decorated like a tennis ball.

Mukuro set down a tube-shaped present to glare at her in-law. "You sounded like that creepy guy who comes around here too often. I never took you to be a hand fetishist..." she visibly cringed before going back to putting her nephew's gifts under the tree.

"If anything, it's more like a serial killer from the town I grew up in," Adachi mused. "Anyway, what even did the girls put in these cookies? They're a bit salty, but they aren't bad."

She was at the cookie plate in what felt like a millisecond, and sampled one of the cookies. "It's that salted caramel flavor that kids like a lot. Akaya's teammates told me about them. The girls did really well. All the gifts are under the tree, do you have the letter written yet?"

Adachi pulled an envelope out of his jacket pocket and set it by the cookies. "I at least knew what to write since Sachiko asked me to help write the letter."

The two went back to their respective rooms, Adachi finding Junko gripping onto a black cat tightly as the cat struggled to escape her arms. "Better that cat than me getting strangled," he murmured as he got into bed and dozed off.

Adachi woke to a lump of fur on his face and two small children bouncing on the bed and thus him. "Papa, wake up!! Santa came!" the younger girl exclaimed, and Adachi couldn't be mad at the only adopted kid of his he actually liked. Monaca, however, he wanted elsewhere. He'd even take Monaca trying to get Junko's attention.

"Sachie, Monaca, you have to let Dad get out of bed or we won't get to open presents because we aren't all in there. Aunt Muku said so," spoke the only other male voice in the room (at least Adachi hoped so). He peeled the surprisingly alive cat off his face and looked at his children, who all seemed to be in pleasant moods. "Let's go, guys, we can't keep Aunt Muku waiting!"

The cat dashed ahead of the kids, probably to go destroy something out of spite. They heard a "Gotcha!" from around the corner and came upon Junko holding a pot with a lid on it. "Junko-chan, do NOT boil that cat alive. She will come back and make our lives even more miserable."

Junko smiled and put the pot in a sink full of water. "Cats are fun, but bears are much better. I hope she gets wet." The family headed into the room with the tree where Mukuro awaited everyone.

"The presents with star wrapping paper belong to Akaya. Monaca, you have wrapping paper with ribbons in it. And Sachiko's presents were wrapped in rabbit wrapping paper. Go ahead and get them, then we can deal with that creepy guy at the door." The kids began literally tearing into their gifts. Akaya got a lot of gear Mukuro had picked out for tennis for him, Monaca got a lot of fashion accessories like bows, dresses, and lip gloss to apparently be the best dressed child on their fake fashion shows, and Sachiko got a lot of board games that she had told Adachi she wanted. The fun part had come to an end and now came the dealing with "relatives."

Adachi watched Mukuro greet the kids' creepy "uncle" with a knife, and she followed the young man with her knife until he got to the tree room. "Hi, you useless Despair freaks. It's Christmas and my own father wouldn't let me come home to see my mother, oh, what a kidder."

Akaya gave Komaeda a look that could only be described as "If it were not for the fact that my sister enjoys your presence, I would slaughter you with my racquet" and Adachi had never felt such a strong bond with his adoptive son. Meanwhile, Sachiko ignored him and Monaca seemed to gather some of the items she had received. "Big Brother Komaeda, I need to practice putting on this lip gloss! And you're gonna be the tester!"

Monaca dragged the fairly unwelcome man away to go experiment on him, and the doorbell rang not shortly afterward. "I'll get it!" Junko trilled as she skipped to the door. "Ah, my favorite father figure! Sis, our father's here!" Adachi felt his face freeze into a mask of a muffled scream that did not budge as a muscular blond man sashayed into the room.

Sachiko, however, was thrilled to see the horrendously-dressed vampire. "Papa! DiDi came to see us!!" She ran up and hugged the bulking man's leg, and he pat her head.

Adachi forced an uneasy smile on his face. "It's a pleasure seeing you on this Christmas, Mister Dio..." Adachi could tell that his own discomfort seemed to amuse Dio.

"Why would I not come to see my 'daughters' and the children they're raising? I, too, am a father. I like to see what my influence has created," Dio said in a bemused tone, and Adachi had to comfort himself mentally with the thought of a bigger, buffer guy interrupting this guy's English accent. "You never mentioned that you were once a serial killer, lording over the chaos you created. I find that impressive."

"Th-thanks, Mister Dio," Adachi mustered out, and any positive mood was immediately ruined by the sound of glass ornaments hitting the floor as well as an "Oh" from Komaeda, who also happened to be hitting the floor. Their not so welcome house guest was tangled in Christmas lights that had come undone from the cat knocking them off the tree. "If you knock this tree over, Bern, I swear I will-" Adachi yelled at the cat, and as he approached the tree, Bern the cat hopped out of the teetering tree. The last thing Adachi recalled before hitting the back of his head on the floor and getting sandwiched by a tree was "Sis, you better be recording Tohru-chan getting murdered by a tree!!"

The idea just kinda rushed at me to include Cat Bern and Dio making Adachi's life miserable (and Komaeda implicitly ruining things). I hope you like this, Sean!!

[evatriceakiyama]

Consider Junko waking up Adachi doung this audio word for word (imagine her voice instead of Beato's). She gets a "why the hell did you wake me up like this" look and Mukuro pretends she didn't hear it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPWPygVV0uk

[evatriceakiyama]

Despair Family AU where in addition to his canon son, Dio sees Junko (and Mukuro too) as his daughters, so when Junko and Adachi do the "let's meet your parents" thing, Adachi expects to eventually do the "your daughter calls me Daddy too", but as soon as he shows up at Dio's, he is rightfully intimidated by this extremely muscular (and shirtless) man greeting him at the door. "I DIDN'T KNOW YOUR FATHER WAS A SHREDDED ENGLISH MAN WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME" "Dio is like my dad, Tohru-chan. My real parents are dead but he's been a better father to me than my real one was." "HE CAN STILL RIP MY LIMBS AND HEAD OFF THOUGH" "Junko, is your fool of a fiancé coming in for dinner or what." I just really want to combine these two ideas (meanwhile Mukuro and Giorno talk about how they're helping the local kids out by committing murders, family bonding.)

[evatriceakiyama]

There’s only one thing to do when you should take a break from editing because people piss you off so much, but you’re going on a trip in two weeks so the break will be then: do the collab parts you owe that are angry and angsty as fuck.

I took the majority of the rap parts with the intention of doing Junkodachi for at least one of them. For the eventual collab Spacey and I are gonna put together, just waiting on me to power through the last two.

[evatriceakiyama]

Junkodachi AU where Junko manipulates Adachi into killing her to get despair and he keeps her corpse persevered except for her left hand and carries it with him. This is totally not inspired by the JoJo arc that inspired P4 and the creation of Mondo, whaaaat, nooooo.