#juno30days

[lovingthedenial]

Well, hello JuNo

So we haven’t done this for a while. I didn’t know we were doing this until yesterday🫠

Few weeks ago, my Domme sent me a math pyramid game out of the blue, starting with 30, saying it’s ‘just for fun’, of course I humored Her without a doubt in mind. I forgot totally about it… I should have known… the most mind fuck game She always play with me is say a number. It could mean anything, from orgasms to how many whips to how long I had to hold my pee… with this many numbers, I’m just fucking my self for fun now…🥴

This is what it looked like.

Then yesterday my Domme casually told me, we are on for JuNo and here is the game:

So each week I have get the need edges with the time frame, so for yesterday I had to get 2 edges in 3 minutes. Today I had to get 1 edge in 3 minutes.

Because I ended up with 5 numbers on the last row, feeling generous, my Domme told me I can choose the 5 days of a week I wanna play myself.

The ‘foreplay’ part is killing me and I don’t know how long I could hold down the fort, by the time I can edge, I’m already sweating pathetically, shaking from muscle fatigue and deep in the pink haze… as I whimper to my Domme about this She just said that I chose all the numbers by myself so if I fail, it’s really no one else’s fault😵‍💫

I’m such a lucky fuck toy…

What y’all doing for JuNo?

[deniedpoppy]

Day... what day is it?

I've been trying to write something frivolous and fun all day. Do I want to edge... or eat... or shower... or sleep? I have a gorgeous new toy. It's glass. It's pretty. I want to edge my brains out with it. Can't really move though. Going into sleep deprivation fetish territory here. So tired I can't even think. I'd probably do anything he says now. Except maybe jumping jacks. Definitely not with clamps attached from my clit to my nipples. ...terrible idea. Kind of hot idea. So tired. Normal service will resume tomorrow.

[deniedpoppy]

Day 7: Begging for a ruin

“I…I want to try something. It might be a bad idea.”

He smiled. “What is it?”

I stuttered, and blushed, and hesitated, as I struggled to tell him that I want… I want to ruin an orgasm.

The last time I ruined an orgasm, I felt so awful, I was unable to recover without a full orgasm. It made me feel absolutely miserable, and I didn’t get horny again afterwards.

But maybe it’s different now. Now that I have his help. His guidance. His voice in my ear.

Now that he can talk me through it. Make me aware of what I’m begging him to do. Make me realise what I am, what I want, what I need.

Now that he can comfort me afterwards. Tell me it’s going to be okay. Tell me that he will let me cum again, someday.

And he can make it worse. He can make me edge until I cry. He can tell me I’m allowed to cum, and then at the last moment, change his mind. He can make it the worst ruin I’ve ever had.

“I just… I just want to cum. Even a ruin. Please…”

He paused, and I already regretted what I had just asked him.

“I’ll think about it.”

And so here I am. Touching hopelessly. Edging until I can’t take anymore. That’s what I am, now. A denial slut who begs for a ruin.

And I don’t even get that.

[deniedpoppy]

Day 2: the first morning

05:30 am

God knows why I woke up so early. I’m not a morning person. I dreamt about work, as I do most of the time these days. It’s always in my head. Sex is barely an afterthought. I toss and turn, and then, suddenly, remember the challenge. I turn over and rub my clit. I’m sleepy, not thinking straight. I could probably cum like this and then fall back asleep. I’ve done it before.

I don’t. I stop. I close my eyes. I go back to sleep.

07:30

I wake up too late. Fuck. I jump up and run to the bathroom. I have half an hour to get ready before I have to go to work. In the shower, I calm down. I let the water run over my head and I try to breathe. I’m so stressed lately. Just. Breathe.

I edge again in the shower. I get close, too close. I could cum like this. But again, I make myself stop, and it annoys me as much as it turns me on. I could cum, if I wanted to. I don’t. I get out. I dry my hair and do my make-up. I go to work. Before I leave the flat, I touch myself again, just briefly. I am wet, dripping, even. I wore black lingerie today. No one will see it, but somehow, today, that’s not the point.

[deniedpoppy]

Day 15: why is it so hot?

Female, 20-something, will sleep with anyone who has air con. Will have anal sex in exchange for iced coffee. Happy if left covered in cum and bruises. Hasn't had an orgasm in two weeks. Regular repetitions of "good girl" will facilitate continued obedience. It is recommended to fuck her harder if she cries. Secretly likes meanness. Does not like heatwaves.

[deniedpoppy]

Day 5: back to work and back to basics

I'm very happy I'm back at work today. I played with myself pretty much non-stop this weekend. It got obsessive, and a little bit unhealthy. Today, it's back to basics. I edged quickly and softly in the shower. I'll briefly edge again this afternoon. And when I come home tonight I'll limit myself to one or two edges. James said we could have a ruin, but I don't want one. The hormonal drop makes me feel horrible, and it makes me want to quit the challenge. It's really hard. I have to do this alone, without support from anyone, without cuddles or encouragement from anyone. I feel sad and alone today. I just want to be held by strong safe arms, and told that I am strong and I can do this. I'm always almost deciding to quit. It's so hard to do this alone. So today I'm back to basics. Nothing too painful or extreme. Just a few edges. And no cumming.